Three Reasons Not to Get Married

It was just one book containing one word; konkatsu. When the tome was first published in 2007 nobody really thought much about it. To this day it has only sold one hundred and seventy thousand copies; a solid number to be sure but hardly in the same league of Harry Potter.Yet the book The Era of Marriage Hunting written by Masahiro Yamada and Touko Shirakawa has had a profound impact on Japanese culture. It’s not that the entire population of that Pacific Island country was sitting around starry eyed waiting for their true love to appear out of thin air but the expression konkatsu meaning literally marriage hunting seemed to light a fire under many Japanese singles.It’s is probably a given that many people around the globe would love to get it on this trend. Nothing wrong with that. Most of us long to find our soulmate and share our lives with them. It is not something fake conjured up by hopeless romantics but a real and definite human need.The key is to make sure that human need is not being governed by1. DesperationIt has been so long since you have been in a relationship or you have waited an interminable amount of time to be in a relationship. Waiting can grate on anyone particularly when you are not in complete control of the circumstances. Desperation can lead to some poor decision making and that includes who you wind up in a relationship with.2. FearNone of us is getting any younger. A few years back when you were young and free age was just a number. Now it is something you are acutely aware of. It’s not that you are afraid of growing older but the thought of spending that time by yourself does get your heart to racing; and not in a good way.3. PressureYou’ve been dating the same person on a regular basis for quite some time. You really like them but neither of you is in a hurry to make it official.Too bad your family does not feel the same way. It’s your life and your relationship but that has not stopped them from being on your back about getting married. You dread going to those family gatherings because you know what’s going to happen. Eventually whatever conversation is going on will turn towards you and your singlehood; or more specifically why is it still going on.And your friends? At times they are worse than your family. They may not be so blatant but the gist is unmistakable.You want to get married but you do not want to get konkatsu about it. Saying you want a marriage on your terms may upset a lot of people but that’s the way it should be. Giving in to desperation fear or outside pressure may make others happy but unfortunately will not do you much good.


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