My Husband Left Home For a Trial Separation – What Should I Do?

The other day, I received an email from a wife who was now living on her own. Her husband had left their home for what they were calling a “trial separation.” She was a bit panicked because she was not at all ready for the marriage to end but she was afraid that this so called separation was the beginning of the end. She wanted to know how to best handle the situation so that he would come home and they could then work on the marriage. She was not enjoying being separated at all, but she couldn’t get a read on where her husband’s head was or what he wanted. I’ll tell you what I told her in the following article.Understanding Why Your Husband Might Have Wanted The Trial Separation: First off, let’s try to get a handle on why men often want some time apart. I have many of them visit my blog and either leave comments for moderation or email me. They often say that they just want some time away so that they can hear and then sort out their feelings and thoughts without having to answer to you everyday and without worrying about your presence distorting their feelings.Women often worry that a trial separation is just a way for a man to begin to live on his own – and that it’s really just step one of a divorce. This is not always the case. Sometimes, the time apart brings feelings to the surface that were feared gone or were long since buried. Often times, the distance allows him to miss your presence and some of the anger and tension will start to be forgotten and abate. This gives you both time to calm down and reflect on your feelings from a much less volatile place. I know that it probably doesn’t feel like being separated is a positive thing, but if you play your cards right, it can allow you to change some perceptions that might be plaguing the marriage right now.Changing His Perceptions During Your Trial Separation (Step One Of Getting Him Back Home): Often when I tell women that they really have a perception problem on their hands, they don’t believe me. They are very skeptical of this. But, I’ve talked to so many men that I know this to be the case. He’ll often distance himself because he thinks that things might be greener on the other side of the fence – he thinks that he may be better off without you than with you. Obviously, if you want him back, you’re going to need to change his mind about this.And here is where many wives veer off what is the correct path. They instinctively realize that they have to change these perceptions, but often they will go about it in the wrong way. They’ll try to convince him that things are going to change, forgetting that he’s heard these promises before. Or, they’ll try to convince him that his perceptions are quite wrong. They’ll debate. They’ll engage. They’ll slather on a healthy dose of guilt. What they don’t realize at the time is that they’re only piling on negative emotions that are go