A marriage in crisis may or may not have obvious signals that you may or may not pick up on. Too many variables make this a difficult situation to diagnose. On the surface, your marriage may seem stable, albeit a little stale, but that staleness can turn into irreparable damage before you know and squarely put your marriage in crisis.Notice all the signals and nuances of your marriage. While it is not the be-all and end-all of a marriage, the first area of consideration should be how your sex life progresses. A healthy marriage will involve sex that satisfies the both of you. If one or the other partner is not happy with your sex life, this may go unnoticed by the other partner and will eventually lead to an erosion in your communication, which is a sure path to ending up with a marriage in crisis.The sexual interaction of a marriage is a tell-tale point for the health of a relationship. How often you have sex, how personally fulfilled each partner feels, and timing are all important details. Are you having sex at all? These things will tell you whether or not yours is a marriage in crisis.The lives of busy people sometimes precludes spontaneity. This might lead to a need for scheduling sex in the relationship. While this is better than no sex at all, it is far from being as satisfying as the unscheduled, surprise moments when sex is spontaneous.Spontaneous sex cannot exactly be scheduled. Couple that with a hectic family life and no wonder sex becomes the first victim of a marriage in crisis. Children make finding time to have sex even more difficult, and tends to lead to scheduling alone time. As mentioned, it is better than nothing, but “arranging” for spontaneous sex would be a great way to revive yourselves if a marriage in crisis is something you really want to avoid.By arranging spontaneity, we mean making time available, not necessarily for sex, but for some quality alone time. Sex may or may not happen, but the intimacy that does happen is a great tonic for ailing relationships. In a marriage in crisis, spontaneity always takes a back seat to other needs, which leads to unfulfilled partners, unmet needs and dismal unhappiness.Partners who show little signs of affection throughout the day will revive the relationship and prevent the formation of the marriage in crisis. Touching, hugging, a little kiss on the cheek, saying, “I love you” out of the blue-these are spontaneous acts, albeit short ones, that will remind the partner that you are still there and that your marriage is still intact. In this way, the candle of love is not extinguished as it is in a marriage in crisis.These little things are easy enough to do, and may go a long ways towards preventing trouble in the marriage. Being reminded of your partner’s affection towards you (and vice-versa!) is good for the marriage. Good feelings lead to a desire to find more time together, and may help resuscitate a lethargic sex life, as well.Not acknowledging the partner is tantamount to telling them they no longer matter to you and will surely kill the marriage. Just being polite, using “please” and “thank you,” is normal for you to use with other people, why not with your spouse? If you find yourself saying these things to strangers and people outside your relationship, then you have a marriage in crisis. Don’t ever take your partner for granted.By recognizing the red flags of diminished intimacy, sex and time spent alone together, you can easily prevent having a marriage in crisis. What you do about it will determine success in reviving your marriage. Don’t make a big deal of it, just quietly go about the business of adding thoughtful gestures to your days and your partner will pick up on them.Be polite, be thoughtful and considerate and let your partner know you genuinely enjoy being with them, even in a crowd of screaming kids. Find ways to make love that are energizing for you both. If yours is a marriage in crisis, these are the things that will put you both back on the right path to happiness.
Have you noticed a detachment between you and your partner, and are worried about the possibility of divorce? Has it occurred to you that perhaps most of the romance in your marriage has been lost? There are many who have also gone through similar situations and have successfully rescued their marriage and now they enjoy their marriage ship are so can you.The first stage to achieving a happy marriage is to be conscious of the reasons that may lead to failure in the first place. Lack of or poor communication mixed with the incapability to resolve issues in harmony is noted as the number one reason for marriage failure. If you want a good relationship, you need to know how to communicate to your other half and resolve your issues. Strong marriages usually maintain good communication lines and conflict solving skills with in their relationship, on the other hand weak marriages need help with in these areas.Regardless of where the marriage presently stands, generally speaking, the twosome should simply be willing to work at it; in doing so, a healthy, happy marriage awaits. For most couples, starting new habits within their relationship has been shown to be incredible for making a marriage like new. You will need to study from the experiences of others to help fix your own problems you marriage has with communication and resolving problems. It is worth it to try to rescue your marriage. You and your mate need to be willing to do everything in order to save your marriage. Separating is not a fun experience, at all. This will not happen overnight but with total commitment you can protect your marriage and find the love again.
Novelist and screenwriter Nora Ephron once wrote, “When you have a baby, you set off an explosion in your marriage, and when the dust settles, your marriage is different from what it was.” Unfortunately, it seems having kids can bring on marriage trouble but if you are aware of the areas that are the most affected you can easily balance these two important areas of your life and having kids can be a positive accompaniment to your marriage. These two areas can support each other instead of working against each other.As parents do, we are engrossed in taking care of our childrens’ needs and security. Finding time to feed, bathe, and play with them between work schedules is challenging enough. Hanging out as a couple is like a dream from the old days, when getting together was like signing your name.There is more to it than time management. Marriage trouble can be escalated with routine squabbles about everything from how to discipline the kids to your own expectations — and disappointments. Many couples spend nil time together, even when the kids are in bed, a couple will go on to do their own thing and never meet up after wards. Through it all, the nagging question remains: How does a couple with kids protect their marriage — the relationship that created these beautiful children to begin with — and still manage to be good parents? What can they do as a couple to protect their marriage and create a firmer foundation?These tips are highly effective toward marriage trouble after kids. They will help you and your spouse create a firmer foundation and a happier married life and at the same time demonstrate to your kids what a strong couple you are, affirming to them that your family will always be together. An added benefit to this is that your children will also learn over a period of time how to be good partners themselves.Learn to CompromiseIt’s a very common problem. We give plenty of attention to our children but not enough to each other. Over time, this transfer of focus can start to hurt even the most solid relationships.Make no mistake that a strong relationship with your partner is one of the best things a couple can do for their kids and their childhood. Harboring a solid, loving relationship sets your children up for better marriages themselves when they grow up. They will have had a good example to follow and will want to have the same as they saw their parents having.Set a plan in place that enables you and your spouse to have free time together and spend that time together. If you are both too tired then be too tired together. If you just feel like going to bed then go to bed together. Once you get into the motion of doing something together your feeling of tired will bend, as you have something to look forward to and spending time with your spouse.Strengthen the FoundationHow can you keep a focus on your marriage when most of your time and energy is devoted to your kids?Keep the relationship with your partner at the top of the list, above your children. This doesn’t mean to forget about the needs of your children. You can do the little things that let each other know and the kids know how much you value your relationship with your spouse.Keep the Romance Alive!Shift your center of attention sometimes.It is important for your children to learn, from a young age, that mom and dad can’t just drop everything when they want their attention. Don’t allow them to interrupt your adult conversations.This takes time and training just like everything involving kids but it is well worth it when the training takes hold. When your child gets older he can participate more in the conversations but until then it is valuable for your relationship that your kids learn to wait their turn to talk.Warm WelcomesYou hug your kids everyday, usually more then once. Even the dog gets a cuddle or two. What about your spouse? Does he/she get greeted with enthusiasm or just a simple “hello” in the midst of your busy schedule?Once in a while, kiss and hug your spouse when they get home, as if one of you is going away and you aren’t going to see each other for a week. The kids will have a giggle and this kind of affection reassures them that you’re close to each other, as well as to them.The 20 Minute ReconnectYou don’t need a whole weekend away or even a regular “date night” to keep the spark alive.
Take short walks together. Catch up on each others life and use this time to reconnect to each other.
Pair up when you take the kids to daycare or pick them up from an activity. The portion of the commute or waiting time can be used to chat.
Early Bedtime for KidsGet you your kids into a strong bedtime routine from a young age (one year old is good time to start the process).This will give you time after your kids are in bed to do things you want and need to do and time to spend together, without interruptions from the kids. A good bedtime for toddlers, especially those in school is 7:30 -8:00pm.Help Carry the CargoShare in the chores. This can also be a prime couple time.After the kids are in bed, get the evening chores done together along with some music. Not only will you finish sooner so you can relax, but because you are helping each other there is no resentment about who does more. This is a good time to chat and catch up on things.Encourage Independence Teach your kids to play independently (an added value for their imagination)When children learn to entertain themselves for short periods of time, it means less time you have to spend as your tot’s activity director leaving more time for yourself and your spouse.More ways to keep the Glow GlowingRevive your pastRemember who you were as individuals and as a couple before you were parents. Bring back into your lives the activities you used to enjoy together. This is particularly effective when your routine starts to feel just that – routine.Schedule Love MakingTrue. It’s not very spontaneous. However, sex is usually the one area left out because something has to give right? So scheduling it into your routine is more practical. Waiting for it to JUST APPEAR one night will cause you to lose your intimate relationship.Quiet QuarrelingLoud, out of control arguing is insulting, and will have huge consequences on the intimacy level of your marriage. Doing it in front of your kids will cause them to do the same with you when you have a disagreement. It also shows them you don’t respect each other. A Preschooler is old enough to recognize this – make no mistake.Father can Know BestIf your spouse thinks you don’t trust them to take care of the kids as well as you do, it will cause resentment and you will find your spouse, bailing out of the picture every chance he gets. Don’t criticize too much and be open minded with things. Let him do it his way sometimes. Men should guard against fleeing off in order to escape parenting.Daytime DatingYou already know that a date can reignite that spark in your relationship — but you can extend the range of dating by doing lunch dating while the kids are in day care or at an activity. If you are both working parents then meet up for lunch.The Stages of Marriage – Feeling trapped?Appreciate that the trying times in your marriage are only temporary. This helps you not feel trapped.Feeling disconnected from your partner while your kids are little simply comes with the territory of parenting. It doesn’t mean you have a failed marriage and are heading for a break up. However, when faced with marriage trouble use your anger and concern as a sign you need to make an effort to connect with each other.Marriage advice from the professionals say that one of a child’s biggest anxieties is that their parents won’t stay together. You can avoid this fear in your children by ensuring you invest time and energy into your marriage thus avoiding marriage trouble. Knowing their parents have a strong, untouchable relationship is one of a child’s greatest comforts so give it to them and at the same time give yourself the gift of an unbreakable bond.
“How Do I Save My Marriage?” This was the only sentence roaming in my mind some time ago. My marriage was definitely ending – there is no question about that. It feels bad enough to be in a troubled marriage, but when you are the side that wants to save the marriage, it feels even worse.My spouse wasn’t paying any attention to me at all now – and I went desperate by asking “how do I save my marriage” over and over to myself, and trying to think of ways. The things I thought of to stop my divorce were worthless – they were laughable. Anyone looking from outside would know they would do absolutely nothing on how to save my marriage, but worse they would push my spouse even further away from me.Yet, I was devastated, I was desperate and I was acting only according to my instincts. And my instincts told me: ”You love your spouse! You cannot leave him go! Beg him, cry to him, do something!”I did that – exactly. I begged for him not to go away. I cried openly in front of him so that he would see how much I loved him, and how much I wanted to save our troubled marriage. Now – was it possible at all that by begging I was going to go anywhere on getting my spouse back to me? It wasn’t. Yet, I couldn’t think of that at that moment.But then another moment came and I realized that the things I thought myself were absolutely worthless – and began seeking outside advice. This is when the tables turned and I not only saved my marriage, but made it better than it had ever been.Looking for outside advice – like you are doing now, is the best answer to the question “how do I save my marriage”. Never answer this question yourself – the answer will be worthless.
Is your marriage a disaster? Then you are not alone. There are millions of couples going through horrible marriages that were once pleasing and angelic at one time. So what happened then? Life happened. Time has passed by and your previous notions of having a prosperous and long marriage seem to have crumbled before your eyes.So, what do you do then? Do you just wait and let it all fall apart and disappear before your eyes? A disastrous marriage can be quite hard for any couple to bear. Knowing that you are there and feel like you cannot do anything to save yourself can be quite nerve wrecking and “up in the air”. Marriage doesn’t happen to everyone and to say that you are married will allow you the “Will” to try to save and fix it. Your thoughts may have you realize that this can end ant any moment.You ask yourself if you know what to do so you can keep the man or woman that you love. Finances, life, work and children can lead to a disastrous marriage if not dealt with properly and with the proper patience at hand. Knowing that you can detect the early signs of a failing marriage can allow you to understand the idea of fixing your marriage the way it needs to be.To save yourself from a disastrous marriage will not come easy if you don’t apply the appropriate techniques and skills to pull this monster of a job off. It is not too late to save your marriage from total disaster. So, go out there and make this a reality that you both will benefit from in the future. Life awaits the “willing” person that wants to save his or her marriage. Learn how to fix a relationship or marriage effectively.
Is your marriage in trouble? If it was, would you know? Do you know how to spot the warning signs? A troubled marriage can sometimes appear normal on the surface, but there can be trouble brewing deep down.The first thing to do is to ask yourself how often you have sex. Although sex is not the only aspect to a marriage, if you are having sex less than you used to then this can be a strong indicator that things aren’t quite what they once were.Often, sex can become less important after a baby has been born. For every child that comes into a family, the more difficult it then becomes for the couple to spend time alone being intimate.But also, another sign is how much affection you show each other throughout the day. A couple that is very much in love will often touch each other in passing, or one of you will randomly kiss the other on the cheek for no reason.Another sign is common courtesy. If you find yourself saying “please” and “thank you” to strangers throughout the day more than you would your partner, then there is surely something going wrong.But the great thing is, if you notice these things have started to go wrong in your relationship, it’s not too late to make them better. All you have to do is pay extra special attention to them and take things back more to how they once were. Then you may start to find that your relationship as a whole begins to fall back into place.
For as many who are faced with diverse problems in their homes, the following are the tested and proven solutions to marital instability. These are important issues which need to be attended to urgently:1. Do not blame your spouse for the situation of your marriage as that will only worsen the condition2. Constitute a heart to heart discussion with your spouse for it will strengthen your love. After dealing with yourself and your own inadequacies, you then need to discuss with your spouse, talk together in love but sincerely.3. Take a new decision on what to do. Decide what to do and stick to it, don’t think of divorce for it is not an option.4. Have a vision of what you want. Do not base this vision on marriage of others, but on the word of God and your joint expectations.5. Cultivate the habit of praying together; remember that couples that pray together do stay together, pray together about everything.6. Talk about things you use to do together and how you did enjoyed them, discuss about how to return into them and their benefits.7. Let God take over your home as you study His word together, give you home a new lease of life as you go through the scriptures.8. Create 2 hours per day to talk to each other, about your life, children, joy, fear, plan, vision, aspiration. Talk about anything; your experience in the day, your encounter with others, talk about just anything.9. Dedicate your attention to your spouse by making your spouse your best friend. Do everything you do with friends with him or her.10. Always give each other generous doses of hugs everyday; do not underestimate the power of hugging, it will bring joy back into your marriage, because it is only friends that hug, enemies don’t.With the application of the above ways, you can be sure of redeeming back your marriage from the pit of divorce. It is important to note that, the above ways needs to be carried out from day to day. That is, it must become part of our life style. I welcome you to the midst of happy people and a happy home.
Maybe it would be better if all marriages didn’t begin with great ceremonies and dream-like honeymoons. Because you can’t get better than that! And it’s not good to start a thing at its best – because, from the best, and the highest, the only place to go is down. And when they go bad, they can go worse.I had such a marriage that had gone downhill since the honeymoon. I did everything to save my marriage and stop my divorce. I tried to talk to him, I begged to him, I cried to him… Then, when those didn’t work, I acted like I didn’t care at all.None of those worked, and my problematic marriage went worse. He had stopped caring about me altogether and I thought it was now just a matter of time before he began to talk about the possibility of divorce.How do you save your marriage from such a situation? Well – I did. Not only a “saving”, also; because my husband loves me even more than he did in our honeymoon. So what did I do to achieve this:Tip 1: Under no circumstances, never, ever, never beg to, or cry in front of your spouse. Here comes the basic law of human nature: If you can’t have something, you’re going to want that something. Let’s rewrite this: The more you beg for somebody, the less he or she will desire you. Which means that you should stop begging at once.Tip 2: You won’t read this tip anywhere else. The notion of a divorce can be scary, scary even for the spouse who actually wants to end the marriage. You can use this to your advantage, but it works only and only if your spouse hasn’t actually talked about divorce to you. This means that he or she wants a divorce, but is scared by the idea. So, what happens when you just “utter” that word? He or she now takes a defensive stance and this can save your marriage!
During 2008, the latest year for which statistics are available, there were 2,162,000 marriages recorded in the United States. More than 6,000 of our fellow Americans tied the knot every single day! And, in spite of the reported high rate of divorce–last recorded as about 44% of first marriages after seven years–the rate of re-marriage is an astonishing 93%. This is more than great news for wedding planners and caterers. Marriage seems to have taken hold in this culture as a status that accords us a level of respect, an assumption of accountability (whether true or not), and a regard by society that means we’re members in good standing of the community.Marriage even affords us a number of benefits, rights and legal protections not found outside its esteemed position in our society. In fact the actual number of rights and benefits is knowable, and is rather high. Higher than most people realize, or they may be more solicitous of a marriage partner. Knowing this information would also likely make more people able to see the unfairness in denying those marriage rights to anyone otherwise eligible, which is one purpose of this article, and the derivation of its title. Marriage is not just a human right; it’s a portal into the benefits and protections the state bestows to its adult citizens. How many rights, protections and benefits?Go back to your wedding day. It was likely a day of great joy, when you were surrounded by family and friends, all wishing you well, smiling, sharing with you the spirit of the occasion. You walked down an aisle of some kind with your intended to the music you’d picked, surrounded by the esteem of all around you. Then, you likely faced a judge, or a cleric, and made promises to each other and the community to be faithful, true, mindful of the celebrated state into which you were entering. And the instant you said “I do”, all the aforementioned rights, benefits and legal protections were yours, just for saying those two simple words.How many rights? Not fifty. Not 100. No, there are in fact 1,138 separate, identified federal and state benefits, rights and legal protections that attach to two people who marry in this country. By extension, then, those are rights and benefits unavailable to those who for one reason or another are disqualified from entering into a marriage contract.Here’s one example of what married people enjoy. It has to do with rights under Social Security. Keep in mind that all working Americans contribute to this program through payroll tax. Regardless of how society views us, and in spite of what other status we may have in society, whether part of the mainstream or an outcast, if we’re gainfully employed in this country, we’re required to pay into the Social Security trust fund.Social Security provides the sole means of support for a number of Americans. Here’s where the rights and benefits of marriage enter the picture. All surviving spouses of working Americans are eligible to receive Social Security payments. Surviving spouses who care for a deceased employee’s minor child are also eligible for a support payment, in addition to the regular monthly stipend. These are benefits that are denied to gay and lesbian Americans because they cannot marry. Thus, those couples who contribute to Social Security over their lifetime receive drastically unequal benefits from what their married counterparts receive. If both partners pay into the system for many years, the amount of differential can be hundreds, or even thousands of dollars every year.So the denial of marriage isn’t just a minor concern for those couples, and should not be for us. Americans have always been sensitive to unfairness in our society. Our history is littered with the remnants of long-discarded human rights denials that would seem ludicrous today. As recently as 1967–just 42 years ago–there were sixteen states in the U.S. that carried anti-miscegenation laws on their books prohibiting the marriage of blacks and whites. The case that addressed that travesty, appropriately titled Loving Vs Virginia, eliminated one such social stain. Today the concept of denying anyone marriage because of their race would be laughable. Still, we continue to deny civil marriage to gays and lesbians because of a similar condition of birth. It’s as if we denied people the right to drive because they were born left handed.Returning to the Social Security example, we see that those denied civil marriage are faced with this inequity: Family #1: Married husband and wife, both biological parents of the child, either member would be:- Eligible for Surviving Child Benefits- Eligible for Surviving Parent BenefitsFamily #2: Same-sex couple, deceased worker was the biological parent or adoptive parent of the child (where permitted)- Eligible for Surviving Child Benefits- Not Eligible for Surviving Parent BenefitsFamily #3: Same-sex couple, deceased worker was not the biological parent nor able to adopt the child through second-parent adoption, surviving member- Not Eligible for Surviving Child Benefits- Not Eligible for Surviving Parent BenefitsFor those who know couples like those described above, this isn’t a remote, unlikely possibility, but reality. Denial of these benefits happens every day, in spite of the fact that these individuals are required, just as their co-workers are, to pay into Social Security. Presented with this information, in addition to the remainder of the 1,138 rights and benefits afforded married couples in this country, reasonable people will conclude that this is unfair, and yet another reason that civil marriage equality is a human right.
When you are married, you would certainly like to enjoy your time with your husband. But how can you enjoy when he is sad? When your husband is not happy, you can easily also cross the boundary and become negative. Your life will be closely intertwined with your husband’s, and his sadness will make you wonder where you are messing things up.It is necessary for you to find ways of how to make your husband happy once more. This means that you will need to understand what makes him unhappy in the first place. Here are important tips that will help you to remove the sadness from your husband.Have quality time togetherMarriage comes with a lot of responsibilities that can leave you with hardly any time together. You may have to take care of children. Then career also has to be considered. In the process, you may find yourselves gradually turning into strangers who happen to share the same space.As you take care of your other responsibilities, your husband will feel that you neglect him. That is why sometimes husbands feel some jealousy towards their own children. This does not mean that your husband does not like his own kids. What he misses is your company.You should therefore make your schedule such that you have some quality time alone, preferably every week. Leave your kids with either family members or friends to strengthen the bond between you.Be happy yourselfHappiness begets happiness. If you would like to make your husband happy, you should make yourself happy first of all. In case you find that you have too many responsibilities to carry out on your own, consider hiring some help. Otherwise, you can easily get frustrated.Unfortunately, since it is your husband who is closest to you, he is the one who will bear the brunt of your frustration. You should therefore find a suitable way of venting your frustration without making your husband a victim.Take measures that will help you to be happy if you want to make your husband happy as well. Have some spare time to renew your energy. Be happy, even if you have to leave some responsibilities.The things that you say and do will have a great impact on your marriage. If you say or act wrongly, you will be pushing your husband away. Yet it is through your words and actions that you can also make your husband happy.