Maybe it would be better if all marriages didn’t begin with great ceremonies and dream-like honeymoons. Because you can’t get better than that! And it’s not good to start a thing at its best – because, from the best, and the highest, the only place to go is down. And when they go bad, they can go worse.I had such a marriage that had gone downhill since the honeymoon. I did everything to save my marriage and stop my divorce. I tried to talk to him, I begged to him, I cried to him… Then, when those didn’t work, I acted like I didn’t care at all.None of those worked, and my problematic marriage went worse. He had stopped caring about me altogether and I thought it was now just a matter of time before he began to talk about the possibility of divorce.How do you save your marriage from such a situation? Well – I did. Not only a “saving”, also; because my husband loves me even more than he did in our honeymoon. So what did I do to achieve this:Tip 1: Under no circumstances, never, ever, never beg to, or cry in front of your spouse. Here comes the basic law of human nature: If you can’t have something, you’re going to want that something. Let’s rewrite this: The more you beg for somebody, the less he or she will desire you. Which means that you should stop begging at once.Tip 2: You won’t read this tip anywhere else. The notion of a divorce can be scary, scary even for the spouse who actually wants to end the marriage. You can use this to your advantage, but it works only and only if your spouse hasn’t actually talked about divorce to you. This means that he or she wants a divorce, but is scared by the idea. So, what happens when you just “utter” that word? He or she now takes a defensive stance and this can save your marriage!
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Do you and your spouse seem to be bickering all the time? Have you marveled over what happened to the feelings you held for one another when you were both first married? Are you dreading that your marriage is on the fast track to breakup? If you are interested in saving your marriage, you will find information within this article that will help you begin reconciling today.The very first teaching you must learn is that every marriage goes through a rough patch.Usually when a marriage isn’t doing so outstanding it is because you are having anxiety with standard issues that all couples go through. Some of these issues are listed below:- Constant fighting and arguments- Loss of sexual activity and romance- Living through infidelities and infidelity- Settling with conflicts left unresolved- Missing out in the connectedness section- Child rearing issues- Very little quality moments with due to busy schedulesSometimes a marriage could struggle if a partner is stifling the other person in the marriage. If you are spending all of your time with your wife and not enough time with your friends, you should try to remedy that.One half of the married couple needs to make the conclusion to fight for their marriage, in order to move forward and better things. When this happens, the other partner will see this and also desire to help the marriage live.Therefore, no matter what, set an example for your marriage and become informed on methods used by many other troubled marriages to save them, and hopefully you may be able to engage your spouse in your partnership once again.Just make sure that you never give up. A marriage is something that both mates have devoted their life to and is by all odds something that is worth fighting for.
“I’d love to know how to make my husband want me again.” How many of us have thought this at some point during our marriages? Unfortunately for us the honeymoon phase tends to be short lived and once real life enters the mix of the marriage, your husband may change. Even if he was completely attentive, loving and seemed to adore you endlessly early in the relationship, that can all change. If you’re married to a man who you don’t think loves you as much as he once did, there’s no reason you can’t reignite his interest all over again.When I was thinking about how to make my husband want me again I began with considering how I’d been treating him recently. Once we become moms and we have to juggle parenthood with work with financial responsibilities, it can all take its toll. Be honest with yourself about whether or not you’ve been neglecting your husband in recent months. Men are very sensitive to what their wives are feeling and if he senses that you’re overwhelmed it can make him pull back. Focus more of your time and energy on him. Show him, through your actions, that he’s still the most important person in the world to you. Make him feel valued and it will ultimately make him treat you more affectionately too. Don’t underestimate the power in planning a few date nights with your man. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. You can even just arrange for a sitter and then surprise your husband with his favorite dinner at home. The point here is to do things that make him feel that you want and need to spend time with him. If he feels that you’re still madly in love with him, it will reawaken those feelings in him as well.
Anyone can be in doubt before saying yes to the big day. Although at the beginning, everything is so perfect, nice and wonderful that you do not regret your decision though your friends have warned you that marriage can be a disaster. But later on, when time goes by you can see the perfect relationship turning into nightmare, you then realize that whatever your friends said was right.Now you don’t know what to do. You are in a fix and have to decide. If you still love your partner and if you are ready to do anything to save your marriage from crisis, then what you need is C-P-R.C for Counseling:Let me tell you this approach is worth trying. You won’t regret your decision. Counseling has helped so many couples. It will not only assist you settle on your differences, find solutions for your problems but it will also help in drawing you together. It will also provide you with techniques so that you understand each other better.P for Perspective:Getting perspective in a situation like marriage in crisis is important. You need to see things from other angles so that you understand what’s going on and what’s needed to improve. You can only see the face of the coin you are looking at. But you are forgetting that a coin has two sides. So, a counselor will help you understand and make you see other sides of your situation. Things that were not understandable to you can therefore be lucid.R stands for Resolve:You will see that after the counseling and perspective, you will now have many ways to repair the damage that were caused in your marriage. Now, you only to take actions to mend things again.
When a marriage is failing, as a last resort couples turn to counseling. Just like a sickness, the best thing is seek professional help before it goes too far. In the end what determines whether or not it works, is ultimately up to the spouses, and whether or not they take the advice of the professional.I saw a professional as quickly as possible when I and Allen decided to split up. I asked myself over and over again if counseling could help my marriage. I utilized the professional advice, and followed it with open arms. I was able to convince Allen that counseling was for both of us. In our sessions it was suggested I be more open minded and to concede to some of his ideas, it was suggested Allen be more intimate. Another suggestion was that Allen relay his favorite things about me. We took the advice given to us, and our marriage got better because of it. Although, no sooner had we started doing better, we let ourselves fall back into the same old routine again. This again caused much turmoil in our marriage. Once I let myself see that is was happening again, I started applying it in our marriage again. Things were smooth once again.Can Professional Help really work for me: Marriage Counselors are not magic, the can only give us advice. It is ultimately up to us to make things work. Most professionals agree that if one spouse is already giving up on the relationship it is very hard to make it work. Professional help can only be victorious if couples listen and utilize the advice given to them. The professional is just that, a professional, who is trained in this field. Their advice should be taken with an open mind. Even though it takes both spouses to make the relationship work, initiative is the key to getting things started. After counseling sessions, it is the responsibility of both spouses to keep themselves on track with what they were told in counseling. Professional Counselors have been trained thoroughly to do their jobs, and by using techniques taught by generations before them. Counselors can cater to the specific needs of each individual situation.Can professional counseling really work: It is best to find a counselor who has a good reputation and has had positive turn around with their clients. The diplomas and degrees are not what make them a good counselor; it is the talent to understand each situation as it is different and as it is alike. One counselor I visited said to let Allen know that if he fights with me anymore then I would call the police on him, but I realized that this is no way to keep a marriage together. Happiness is from the heart, and love is the only thing that should keep a man and woman together in wedlock. With love not present in the household it sends the wrong message to the children involved. Needless to say I am not going to that counselor anymore; I had to find us one that would do the job the right way.Do your homework when seeking professional counseling: There are many ways to research marriage on the internet. Professional Counseling is only a guide to try and help keep your married life in control. Be sure to research any counselor that you are thinking of seeing, No counselor will do well in every situation, so you must do your homework.
By knowing the signs of marital trouble, you can learn how to avoid a divorce. A surprisingly high number of couples are unhappy in their marriage, but refuse to separate due to religion, children, or other personal reasons.Many signs of trouble can be dealt with while they’re still small problems, and can be fixed easily. it is only when we don’t know the trouble, and it escalates, that it becomes very difficult to resolve.The following is a list of a few of the first signs of trouble in a marriage.
The fun has left the marriage. It doesn’t matter where you go, or what you do, you just don’t have fun anymore.
Both you and your spouse criticize each other frequently, and very rarely compliment each other anymore.
The only time you’re not miserable is when you are away from each other.
One partner likes to save money, and the other likes to spend it.
The intimacy is gone from your marriage.
If you are experiencing any of these in your marriage, now is the time to seek help. Dealing with a problem is much easier when it is just starting. Marital problems that are allowed to escalate only result in painful emotions, and often lead to divorce.Take steps now to ensure that your marriage doesn’t end in divorce. It may help to talk with your spouse, to see what they think about your marriage. It may turn out that they don’t think anything is wrong, or they may think there are other problems, that you don’t see.Whatever the reasons of trouble in your marriage, know that they CAN be dealt with, and you CAN have a happy marriage again, once you know what the problem is, and learn how to fix it properly.
Many people are disappointed in their marriages as they assume that things will be smooth-sailing as they take their vows. Unfortunately, marriages have their own challenges. Things don’t work out automatically, and both partners need to really invest in the marriage. In many cases, it takes just a short time for couples to start going slowly apart, almost imperceptibly. As a wife, you may begin to have your doubts whether that great man is really still passionate about you as he used to be. You may therefore be wondering whether there is anything you can do to influence your husband to fall in love once more. The fact is that there are some useful steps that will help you if you want to strengthen your marriage in this way.Focus on your marriageWe live in a busy world where people have lots of responsibilities. There are many demands that need your attention. Perhaps you have a career that you have to consider. Alternatively, you may be so involved in caring for your kids that you push your husband to the background.Your husband will take note that he has fallen almost to the bottom of your list of priorities. This is something that he won’t take lightly, and it will greatly influence how he feels about you.Regardless of how busy you are, you should set some time apart just for you and your husband. This does not necessarily mean that you have to plan for a holiday together. You may even just share an evening without any interruptions. When you give your husband the first priority in such a way, he is bound to start falling in love with you once more.Take care of yourselfIn many cases, wives do not just put their husbands at the bottom of their priorities. They also usually neglect themselves as well. If you want to influence your husband to love you once more, you should make yourself interesting. Take time to improve yourself.This does not just mean taking care of your physical appearance. You can pursue your area of interest, enhancing your skills. This includes even going for further studies.Determine what drove the guy to you in the first place, and be that person he was interested in. When you come to think of it, didn’t you have your own life when you met? Remember that men love independent women. Re-awaken your passions and you will influence your husband to fall in love again.Give him the kind of treat you would like to receiveIf you would like your husband to be kind with you, then be kind with him first of all. Appreciate your husband, and he will love you more. Make him enjoy coming to a comfortable home.
When your marriage is in crisis, emotions run high and anger and tension build fast. Below are a few things that a lot of couples do that will actually hurt the marriage further. By learning what NOT to do, you will better understand what you CAN do, that will HELP your marriage to overcome these obstacles.You have to fix it immediatelyYou can face your problems immediately, but having a blissful marriage tomorrow just isn’t going to happen. It CAN happen, just not immediately. Just as it took time for your marriage to get this bad, it will take time for it to get better.The Blame GameYour marriage is having problems right now. One of the easiest things for people to do when problems arise is to blame it on someone else. The hard part is accepting the fact that there is a problem, and learning how to address it and fix it. When you blame your spouse or yourself, it will only make the problem worse.If your spouse has already given up on your marriage, then all hope is lost:You can’t control how someone else feels, even your spouse. You CAN control how you choose to react to his or her feelings, though. Even if your spouse has given up, and you truly believe that your marriage is worth fighting for, then do it!Marriage takes strength and commitment. When a marriage starts to have problems, it is easier to run away from them than it is to deal with them. You have to believe, with all your heart, that these problems CAN be resolved. When you keep a positive attitude, it is very likely to rub off onto your spouse.When there is a problem in the marriage, talk to your spouse. Listen to their side. Come up with a solution together.
Before you run off and spend all your hard earned money on marriage counseling, make sure it is the right thing for your situation. With all of the talk shows on TV now, some people get this overwhelming feeling when a little problem comes up in their marriage they should go to counseling immediately. This is the wrong attitude to have. Sometimes in a marriage you can easily work through many problems as long as you take a step back and remember that your spouse is also your friend. Try talking about it first. Don’t come off as demanding and try to make your spouse listen to your side only, but remember there are two of you involved, be respectful of their feelings also. Your spouse may be going through something on the inside that they have been needing to talk about, and by you initiating the talk might be just the opportunity they needed.Always be willing to compromise. This doesn’t mean give up everything you love just to make your spouse happy, but realize that sometimes compromise is a good thing and you can actually come out better. Sometimes when you are willing to compromise, this will in turn make your spouse appreciate you even more and be more open to things you like also. Marriage Counseling to me is always a last option. You have it within yourself to be able to fix any situation you are in.If you have tried talking about problems and the two of you just can’t work it out, then now might be the time where marriage counseling will benefit your relationship. Remember that both of you have to be willing to go to counseling. Even at this point it doesn’t mean you have to go to a professional. You may be able to get a couple you are close with to sit down and talk with the two of you. Don’t be afraid to ask a friend to help, that’s why they are called friends. If you do decide to go to a professional, ask some of those same friends if they will help the two of you find a marriage counselor to go visit. Sometimes the process of finding a counselor will lead to you and your spouse talking about the things that are going on and solving the problems on your on.