If you want to save your marriage and stop a divorce, I would like to call you my friend. The first reason for that is, I have been in that exact situation and I know how horrible you feel at the moment. The second reason is that I congratulate you for trying to stop a divorce. The majority of all marriages (87%) fail, and it’s because marriage needs self sacrifice which people are too selfish to provide – it’s just easier to say “it’s not working” and end the holy bond that is meant to unify two people until eternity.So my friend, I have good news for you: Out of all hopelessness, and the desperation that had surrounded me from all places; I have saved my marriage, and I have stopped my divorce for good. In fact, I want to go as far as to say that my marriage has never been better – we are now a more loving couple than we were even in our honeymoon. But it was a hard thing to do, since in the beginning (and for a long time) I didn’t know what to do.In my desperation, all I could think of to stop my divorce was to beg my husband to reconsider. I would say, do not do this! I apologize, I have realized my mistakes and they will never happen again! This was all I could think of to save my marriage. As I said before, I didn’t know what to do, I needed guidance but I didn’t realize that I needed guidance.But then I understood that I needed outside advice. I must say you are way above my situation right now: You are looking for outside advice on the Internet. That’s something I could think of doing only some time after, and in the meantime I suffered. That you are looking for outside advice is a great sign that you ARE going to stop your divorce.Never think of methods to stop a divorce by yourself – because an ending marriage can be devastating, you are going to be desperate, and your instincts will tell you to go and beg your spouse for forgiveness. This is a knee-jerk reaction, a desperate attempt at trying to fix everything, which should be avoided at all costs.
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Marital difficulties are fraught with danger for the long term relationship.There is no clear cut version of advice that can be found. This isn’t like building a shed, or curing a cold. There are no old wives tales or free blueprints available to help you through the hard times. It’s up to you.But you can give yourself the best chance of success by following these 3 keys.1. You Have to TryIt’s all about effort. You will get what you put in. Moping around, avoiding your other half, complaining about how it’s not the same, will get you nothing but more hassle and a crumbling marriage around you.2. CommunicateAt times like this, it’s all about communication. A problem that you know is better than one you don’t.Marriage is not all about self-sacrifice. Just because you get married doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself. Some people can find that they lose the essence of themselves when they get married, as they are more wrapped up in the idea of being part of a whole.This can lead to resentment, and once this builds up, it takes a lot to let go of it. You need to be able to trust your spouse, to communicate with them, to let them know that you’re not happy.You have to want to save this marriage. If you show no effort, no real interest in how it turns out, your spouse will see that too, and things will fall.At the end of the day, in the harsh light of reality, marriage is a contract that you have to work at.You took vows, you made a promise, and now, when the going gets tough, it’s your time to show you real commitment to it. For better or for worse.3. Acquire the necessary skillsGive yourself your best chance of doing so by arming yourself with some basic tools and skills..that can be easily acquired.
The relationship between the wife and the husband can be very complicated to say the least. Failure in understanding the marriage relationship causes many marriages to break up in our society.It is very important for at least one, but preferably both partners in a marriage to understand how the relationship is supposed to work. This understanding will give the marriage the best chance of long-term success.The biggest key to understanding the marriage relationship is a realization of the differences between men and women. Of course, there are clear differences physically, but often we overlook the fact that men and women are different mentally and emotionally as well.One of the major differences that faces the wife-husband relationship is the way men and women solve problems. Men and women approach problem resolution from entirely different angles.When women are faced with a problem, they like to talk about it (often at great length), with other people. They will get together with friends and discuss their problems and solicit advice and input.The reason women like to talk at length about their problems is that this is the primary way they solve the problem.This is very hard for men to understand, because men just think that women like to go too in-depth focusing on the problem. What they don’t understand is that women are simply exploring all the angles and their feelings about each angle, in hopes that a solution will appear.On the other hand, men are far less likely to talk about their problems. Instead, they usually keep it to themselves and think about how they are going to solve it. When they have finally figured out a solution, then they may start to discuss the problem with others, along with their solution to the problem.When it comes to the relationship between a husband and a wife, this difference can become a major stumbling block. He might get tired of her talking on and on about a problem she has, not realizing that this is her way of arriving at a solution.By the same token, she may think he is uncaring and insensitive about something, simply because he’s not talking about it. The reality is he’s thinking about it constantly, he’s just not ready to discuss it until he’s figured out the solution.Another major difference in understanding the marriage relationship is that women sometimes discuss things they don’t really want advice about or help with. They are just wanting to get something off their chest.This is a foreign concept to most men. When men talk about something, they tend to have a purpose in doing so (unless it’s talking sports with other guys). Usually, when men talk about a problem, it is for the purpose of solving it. Most men can’t understand why you would just want to talk about something without saying or doing anything to resolve it.So, the way this plays out in a marriage is that the man will listen to what the woman says, then quickly state a solution to her problem. He thinks he’s done his job and is done with the conversation. To his surprise, his wife yells at him for “not listening” and “not trying to understand” her feelings.Granted, this is a generalization and does not apply in every case, but most of the time it’s true. Most men prefer less talk and most women prefer more talk. And, most women at times like to talk just to vent, not necessarily to resolve a problem.So, next time you are tempted to react naturally during a conversation about a particular problem, stop yourself and take some time to understand where your partner is coming from. This will go a long way in understanding the marriage relationship.
When someone is going through a rough patch in their marriage, they might daydream about the ‘good old days’ and ponder just how the relationship descended to such a negative place. The truth is – the marriage is in this negative place because you and your partner have allowed it to be. Coming to this realization sooner rather than later is going to put you in a much better position to repair it.I’m sure you’ll find it easy to think of a number of reasons why your partner has contributed to the current place your marriage is in. Maybe they haven’t been honest with you. Maybe they haven’t spent enough time with you. Maybe they have no interest in physical intimacy any more. All of these things are going to make you feel sad and frustrated, and you probably don’t know how on earth you are going to go about making things better. How can you make things better when your partner is so unreceptive to you?You can only control your own actions. You can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. This is certainly the case with your partner in the desperate situation you find yourself in. What if there was a way you could deal with the problems in your marriage yourself, without the help and input of your partner? Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Maybe it isn’t though. Think for a moment – if you could come to terms with all issues blighting your marriage in your own head, and be in a position to come to your partner and know they would be more receptive to taking steps to save the marriage – would you be interested? I’m sure you would. Well, here’s the good news – this is possible. You’ve just got to know where to look to find it.
Everyone knows that the best spouse relationships include respecting and loving each other, right? But do we actually practice what we preach? In the beginning when we first get married, everything seems so great. We treat our spouse with kindness and go out of the way to please them.Unfortunately, as time goes by, the way we treat our spouses declines and we tend to ignore their needs and wants. We think that they will put up with anything we do and say because they love us. This is not the recipe for the best spouse relationships.If we want to have a good relationship, we have to consciously think about how we are talking when we speak to our spouse. Speak to them like they were a stranger. Think about it. If someone stopped you in the street and needed directions, would you be disrespectful and rude? Probably not. You would speak with kindness and explain very thoroughly how to get to their destination.Now think about how you speak to your spouse when they ask you something. Do you jump down their throat and sound annoyed? Do you act rude and disrespectful when you disagree about something? Would you be a bit embarrassed if someone were to record the way you sound and play it back to you? If you actually could hear the way you talk, you would probably stop speaking that way.Now don’t get me wrong, everyone is allowed to have an argument now and then, but we don’t have to sound like we hate each other. The next time you feel yourself losing control and are about to speak in a way that would be hurtful, stop and think about how you would speak to your bank teller or supermarket clerk.The best spouse relationships are based on kindness, thoughtfulness and respect. As I have said previously, we treat each other way different in the beginning of a relationship. We go out of our way to stop and get flowers, pick up a favorite food or write them a note. Keeping up with the little things will make for a better relationship and is important for your marriage.Every marriage is a unique union between two people that once had a deep and loving commitment. In order to keep it that way, you must learn to be a thoughtful, kind person to the one you want to be with forever. We might take it for granted, but it takes work and dedication to have the best spouse relationship.
As you know perfectly well, there are no marriages without problems, there is nothing wrong with having a fight every now and then. Marriage requires two completely different people, with different attitudes, hobbies and phobias, likes and dislikes; to live under one roof and this ensures a lot of problems doing so.You probably hear that communication is always the key. And it is – however, the “communication is key” is generally misinterpreted by people. They think that to communicate you have to press your spouse to talk about a certain issue; or apologize to your spouse even if you don’t really understand the problem is about.As humans, we primarily communicate by talking and forming sentences. But this does not mean that if there is an issue which needs to be solved in your marriage; the only way to fix it by sitting and directly talking about it. While of course this can be done, often one spouse is not willing to talk about it, or it might simply be the case that when you try to talk about it, a fight inevitably occurs.In those cases, communicating should be done by other means. How about touching? People like to be touched by the ones they love. There is nothing that can cure a relationship as a firm hug. Yes, touching your spouse might not solve the problem of who is going to take care of the child the other day, but it will do a great job to lift the moods of both of you about the marriage.Keep in mind that solving a problem requires a compromise from one or both of the spouses, and if your spouse feels retaliatory or angry towards you, he or she is not going to be the one who makes the concession. Love is the key – remind your spouse that you love him or her.
How are you going to save your marriage?You need to look at you relationship and make sure that it is worth saving. Most marriages can be saved with effort on both sides. Both of you must also believe that it can be saved. If you other half is not willing to put in the effort then there is little that you can do on your own.Staying in a marriage for your children or because it is convenient for you is not good enough reasons to stay in a relationship. Both of you should be committed to making your marriage work.Another thing you need to do is find out what is the main problem in your relationship. Once you figure out the problem in your relationship, you have already got half the battle over with. If you start thinking like this you will be well on your way to start saving your relationship.Sometimes an outside party can cause the relationship to come to an end. That could be just scratching the surface where much bigger problems are underneath. Also a lack of being intimate with your partner could lead to unfaithfulness.You have to start looking at the root of the problem that is bringing down your marriage. Then you will increase your chances of rebuilding your relationship with your loved one.Now that you have figured out why neither of you are not happy anymore, you need to communicate with her. Yes women love communication and they love to communicate how they feel about everything. Guys are more likely not to talk about it and hold it in. Both of you must let each other know how you feel, that is the only way you are going to begin to fix your relationship.While you are telling her how you feel, don’t be afraid to let her know through touching also. Give her a hug, hold her hand in the store, kiss her when she does not expect it. This will show your other half that you really mean business and you want to connect with her in every way possible.Also your spouse might say some things that you don’t like when she is talking about her feelings. Because they might be negative things about you. Listen to what she has to say and remember she is not trying to hurt your feelings. She is just letting you know how she feels and she is trying to take the steps to save your marriage.By now you both have figured out the problems in your relationship and you have a plan to fix them.This is the most important part taking action verses doing nothing is always your best bet.Be true to your plans. Take the small steps first. You could plan a lunch date a few times a week. Try to be creative and romantic. Never go to bed mad at each other! Talk things over before you go to sleep and at least agree to disagree.These are just a few ways you can use to save your marriage, these are proven strategies that put in place will work. You must understand that saving your marriage is not a set it and forget it thing. It takes work and dedication. All relationships go through rough spots and good times.What you have just been reading about saving a marriage is just scratching the surface.
The degree of stress that we’re in today can send the strongest people over the edge, but “don’t let stress end your marriage”, take a few steps to save it. The steps to save your marriage, are about the same that you would use to get your ex back. If your marriage hasn’t ended yet, and there’s still love between you both, then work to save what you have before its gone.The first step would be to stay as calm as you can be. Stay flexible, and don’t join in any arguments. It takes 2 to argue, so don’t fall into a shouting match. If you do, it only brings you further away from each other. The lack of finances have always been a top reason for relationship breakups, so when the stress level is brought up with other underlying difficulties, its like a time bomb ready to explode. In order to save what you have, one of you have to take the lead.All relationships are not meant to be saved, so you need to know what you want. If this is what you want then you need to be cautious. Take things slow but steady. OK, now you know that you want to save your marriage, you have to take a look at yourself. First you need to think what you did or didn’t do to create the problems your having. We all have something that we can change to be better. See what you find about yourself, even if its something small. Then work on making that one thing better, to make your partner feel a bit more comfortable around you. Do not try to change your partner at all.You can only change things that you have control of, and you cannot change your partner. You can change yourself. Its up to your spouse to work on them self, but you cannot suggest it. If you tell them they need to make them self better, the big trouble will begin. They have to see it for them self. When they see the difference in you, don’t worry, they’ll start to make some adjustments also. Once you see how much the stress level goes down, you can begin to get the relationship back to normal. Stay committed and “don’t let stress end your marriage”.Your not alone when you get to the point that you don’t know what to do, when the stress gets so bad. You feel like your going to explode, like your going to have a meltdown. Most times you have no control over what causes the stress in your life, therefore, you can’t fix it. You have to learn how to deal with it before it sends you over the edge. Bad things can happen when your under stress, so you have to take a few basic steps to help deal with it.