In your marriage, does it ever seem that you and your wife or husband are constantly fighting? You must sometimes think about the spark that you had for one another during the beginning of your union. Do you speculate if your marriage could be approaching a divorce? This article will give some information you could take advantage of and a resource for the best approach to rescuing your marriage – beginning now.The main thing you should know is that, since the dawn of time, many have survived extremely challenging seasons in their relationship, and you could too if you have the right knowledge.The prospects are very likely that if your marriage is suffering, it is due to your battle with these widespread problems and just needs the appropriate information regarding:*A smothering partner* If a couple has a son or daughter, parenting issues can be a trouble among married couples. One parent might think that they are taking care of the child all by their self and the other parent isn’t contributing at all.*Having insubstantial good time with eventful schedules.*The manner in which most couples move onward is when one spouse makes a dedication to stay and work to keep the marriage. When this happens, the other partner will see this and also want to help the marriage last.Therefore, no matter what, set an example for your marriage and become versed on methods used by many other troubled marriages to save them, and eventually you may be able to engage your spouse in your partnership once again.It is crucial that you never give up if you really want your marriage to flourish. Most marriages have a possibility at becoming the kinship that you are dreaming of and it is almost always worth fighting for what you truly love.
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Saving Your Marriage – The Best Tips to Begin Saving Your Marriage and Putting it on the Right Track
Before pointing out the mistake of our spouse we would do well if we ask these questions: a) Whether we would have behaved differently in such and such situation? b) Is it not true that humans by nature are fallacious? c) Should my spouse feel enormous guilt after committing a sin? d) Whether my spouse accepts my charges as credible? Tirukkural a Tamil classic written more than 2100 years ago by Philosopher-Poet Tiruvalluvar has 133 chapters containing three divisions, Aram, Porul and Inbam. Aram is a Tamil word roughly meaning virtue; Porul means wealth and Inbam is love. The three books in essence provide guidelines for living a happy, productive and blame free life. Kural verses 190, 186, 655 dealing with the questions rose above directly or derivatively show us how to make up our mind to forgive others.
If we could perceive ours like we perceive other’s misdeed, // Could there be any harm to the humanity indeed?
The blemishes of others you utter, Held as better, // If in self-critiquing you are a master.
Do not do things that latter cause repentance, // In case already done, cause no similar happenstance.
The following philosophical points could be discerned from the above verses:
All of us are in the habit of committing mistakes.
When we commit a mistake we should determinately decide not to repeat the same.
When we try to cast aspersions regarding the mistakes of others we would do well if we make similar attributions that we use for critiquing our own mistakes.
With this type of philosophy what we will do in case someone approaches us after hurting us enormously? The verse no 308 has the answer.
Even if others cause pain, akin to the flame the skin made to bear, // It is good not to show anger when they come near.
Forgiving needs a mentality enshrined in the above verses. The skill to forgive matures in people who go beyond their instinctual demands to punish. For achieving this we have to develop the philosophy that forgiving is the best and a wise option in interpersonal situations because it is wisdom born out of everyday reality of the nature of the world and its people. How to achieve objectives through punishment? The objective of changing the behaviour or redeeming a loss from one who has hurt us by punishing is best achieved by doing something good to him. The verse is as follows:
Effective punishment achieved, // When, on the offender, goodies showered
Returning good to an offender not only finishes the anger in us and but also stops the chain of counter retaliation by the other – the true purpose of punishment. Is it not a good practical sense? It is interesting to compare the position of Tiruvalluvar with that of offered by cognitive psychologists under the technique of ‘Forgiving’. Ellis suggests that there is a biological basis for human behavior. (1976a). He says that 80% of the variance in human behaviour can be accounted for by biological makeup and only 20% by environmental training. Humans teach themselves irrational beliefs and are biologically prone to do so as characterised by such attributes as inertia, negativism, habituation, moodiness, comfort striving and excitement seeking, all of which interfere with productive thinking and planning and result in errors of judgment and self-defeating behaviour. (Dryden, 1984, p.2; Ellis,1991b). Ellis (1967a) offers the following points to substantiate this view:
Virtually all humans show evidence of major irrationalities.
No social or cultural group is derived of irrational behaviour.
Many irrationalities run counter to teaching by significant others and society at large.
Irrationality is not exclusive to stupid or retarded; bright and gifted humans can act irrationally.
Those who may oppose irrational activity and be most aware of it may also fall prey to it.
People often adopt new irrationalities after giving up old ones or go back to an activity after working hard to get ride of it
Based on these observations Ellis proposed that we do not give a global rating to ourselves. Accepting ourselves as we are and granting others also the same level of acceptance provides the basis for forgiving. It is not a forgiving out of love and sympathy or done as a matter of virtuous practice. It is a practical wisdom which helps everyone to exercise forgiveness.Tiruvalluvar interestingly reflect similar percepts on the issue of forgivingArt of reciprocal governance This is facilitated by the act of practicing mutuality among the couple. Mutuality means two individuals taking part in a task like two bulls pulling a cart. Male chauvinism in some form or the other refuse to die in our society and mutuality among couples remains a future goal. Practicing a mentality of mutuality is essential for practicing intimacy with your partner. Mutuality also means granting equality to your partner in every sense. It becomes a second nature to one who even by mistake never compares himself or herself with his or her partner even in a so called positive sense. This level of sophistication is fundamental to enjoy maximum intimacy. The verse no 790 brings this out clearly.
This person in terms of this aspect is equal to me, // Sanctifying in such a manner, though, spurious becomes the ‘we’
Art of reciprocal governance in the service of intimacy is best achieved by a contract between the spouses that each will have the right to observe and pull the other up whenever and wherever it was appropriate without any bad feeling. The spousal relationship shares heavily with the role of friendship. In verse no.784 poet says:
Friendship is not for pursuing smiling togetherness, // It is for indicting when good conduct the friend transgresses.
This relationship contract works well after initial teething troubles. In case it fails one has to check up whether it has been used as blaming game or a tit for tat exercise. Dryden, W. (1984). Rational-emotive therapy: Fundamentals and Innovations. London: Croom Helm. Ellis, A.(1976a). The biological basis of human irrationality: Journal of Individual Psychology, 32,143- 168.Ellis, A. (1991b). The philosophical basis of rational-emotive therapy. Psychotherapy inPrivatePractice,8,97-106
Your marriage is on the brink of divorce, and you would give anything to save your marriage. You can start right now – you don’t have to live in an unhappy marriage! There are things you can do to resolve your problems, and have a happy marriage again!As you probably already know, communication is a key factor in any marriage. You have to find a way to make time to talk to each other. Start small, like talking about how each other’s day went. Then you can move on to talking about the problems you are having in your marriage, and what you can do to save it.By openly communicating, the two of you will begin to build a strong bond. This is a bond that cannot be broken, even with extreme marital problems.When you were first married, there was a special passion between the two of you. Take steps to get that passion back. When a marriage is in trouble, one of the first things to leave it is passion. If this has happened to you, then you should try your best to get it back.A quick touch as you pass each other in the hall, or a quick hug or kiss, for no special reason. These things are very important, because they bring spontaneity back, and the physical contact, although small right now, will start to become more frequent.By starting with these small steps, you will see your marriage get better. They may be hard to do at first, because you’re not used to doing them. But, as you do them more and more, they will become much easier. You marriage DOES deserve another chance!
Are you in a marriage that is smothering you? Do you feel there is no way out? Do you feel trapped? You are not alone. There are millions of married people who feel stuck in their situation and that there is no way they can leave the marriage or find happiness.While the best marriages are partnerships that involve friendship, love, respect, even freedom, the bad marriage often lacks one or more of these ingredients and that is why it isn’t working. To further complicate the matter, there may be financial reasons why you can’t leave. Women and men also often stay in a bad marriage for the sake of their children.The amazing thing is that when I have asked my clients who felt they were in a bad marriage what they wanted, they would reply that they didn’t want to be married or with that person, but failed to tell me what they really wanted. One of the prime ingredients for a bad marriage and feeling trapped is that one or both parties don’t really know what they want, they just know what they don’t want.If you don’t think that is true, just look at how many people finally get out of a bad marriage and are still unhappy or enter into another bad relationship. The problems in these troubled unions often run deeper than just a personality conflict. While the problem you have with your spouse is real, there may also be another underlying cause that is making you unhappy.You may be so focused on the marriage that another big problem is going unnoticed. I am talking about knowing your self and your true feelings. Getting out of a marriage or changing the dynamics of a marriage is a big life change. Are you really ready for a life changing event? Here is how to prepare to change your life. I like to call it the Life Changes Starter Kit, something we all need because sooner or later we all want to change our lives.First of all, you must know what you really want. Therefore, your starter kit must include a way to question yourself at all levels to find the key answer, what you really want to know. While you may consciously and rationally think you know what is best for you, there is another part of you that cannot be denied and must be understood in order for you to find happiness. It is your emotional self, your subconscious mind. The subconscious is where all our urges and desires come from and is very powerful.Many times, the problems we have in life are caused by a conflict between what we want subconsciously and what we think is best consciously. Rational thought and emotional desire can be completely at odds with one another. Therefore, you must question yourself at the deepest level to find out what you want and why you want it. There is also a part of you, deep within, known as the super conscious, that can guide you in any situation.When you know what you want and why, at the deepest and most powerful level, you will be ready to make a change, even to find some way out of an impossible situation.
There is something I have been thinking about over the past few years. I have spoken of this concept only with my precious bride and very few others. The concept is directly related to the principle of the TRINITY of God.First, there is GOD. I believe He is the Creator of all things, heaven, earth, light, food, people, animals, cell structures, atoms, sub-particles, and so on… I believe that He created all things and US to show His wonder and Glory regarding all those things He has created. To go into depth about all my beliefs would certainly be a different article series, so suffice it to say that I simply believe in God the Father.Second, there is God’s Son. Jesus is God, manifested in human form, sent here by the Father as the perfect ransom for all of humanity. God Loves Jesus unconditionally, and is well pleased with Him. Jesus is made to be the example for us to try to live up to, yet we will not be able to with our own works. That, too, is a topic for another article series. Suffice it to say that I believe Jesus is not only God’s Son, but is also completely God.Now comes the amazing thing that my precious bride and I have delved into at great depth… Who is the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit is spoken of in Scripture, and is HIGHLY REGARDED by God as the source of all wisdom, and as the third part of God; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is what was given to His apostles when Jesus ascended into heaven after being crucified, dead and buried, raised again on the third day, and after walking with them again for 40 days. The Holy Spirit is still present today. In sort of a contradiction, there is very little, and yet very much that we know about the Holy Spirit. And, here we are again at the doorstep of yet another series of articles that could be written. I’ll just say that I believe in the Holy Spirit, and that it is the third part of the one single God.When I think about the Godhead, the three-in-one concept of God as it is stated in the Bible, I usually have some sort of doubt that washes over me simply because it doesn’t seem to be possible. It is certainly not possible for me in this physical world to be a three-in-one person. For example, I cannot be father and son at the same time, nor can I be a spirit passing all over the world – at the same time I’m a father and a son.Wait a minute! I AM a father… of two sons. And, because I am a son to my father, I am both a father and a son. Two out of three ain’t bad.So, in comes my confusion… If I cannot completely understand the principle behind the three-in-one God, then how can it be true? I don’t believe I can answer that question for you, but I have searched for an answer for myself. While I may not be able to grasp the exact nature of these three entities being ONE GOD, I can trust that He does know, and move forward with my own perceptions, based only upon what I have read in the bible.Let’s take a look at those perceptions for a while. This will take us on a journey of a slightly unique nature. We will be delving into an area of theory, and not necessarily fact. I will do my best to convey the theory so you can see the same thing that my precious bride and I see. The God Family.One of the most obvious things in our existence is that it takes a father and a mother to make a child. These three elements of nature are facts as related to the human race. You cannot have a father and a father, nor a mother and a mother relationship arrangement and in the natural sense – create a child. God did not create the order of things to support that as a natural way to populate the earth. This article is not a dissertation on homosexuality vs. heterosexuality. However, what I believe is the natural order should be obvious even to the most casual observer.The family unit is an obvious fact to me. I do not have any confusion at all as to whether I should be with a man or a woman. I’m a man, and it would be unnatural to be with another man. So, I believe the appropriate family structure consists of the father, the mother and the child.Here is where we delve into the theory of the God Family. We have God the Father, and Jesus, or God the Son, and the Holy Spirit. IF the Triune nature of God is the distinct model of a perfect family relationship, then we would have the father represented by God the Father, and the child represented by Jesus the Son, and the mother represented by the Holy Spirit.Father, Mother, Child.God, Holy Spirit, Jesus.Man, Woman, Child.Did you know? – There is one unpardonable sin. Mark 3:28-29 “Most assuredly I tell you, all of the children of men’s sins will be forgiven them, including their blasphemies with which they may blaspheme; but whoever may blaspheme against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin”That sounds like a very protective command. Kinda like God saying, “Hey! Listen up! The Holy Spirit is PRECIOUS to Me! Do NOT say anything bad about or against HER! I’m here to protect Her and give Her the value She is due!”So, in our theoretical family, what if the Holy Spirit was the element like “God’s Precious Bride?” Wouldn’t it stand to reason that God would protect and adore His Precious Bride? Wouldn’t He edify Her, and call Her the smartest and most beautiful Bride in all of creation? Wouldn’t He shower Her with His love and affection, bestow Her with gifts greater than all other gifts? Wouldn’t He just know that She is the PERFECT Bride for Him and want to keep Her close, and be as one with Her?Doesn’t it seem that all these questions lead to an almost endless list of things that would be a perfect model for your own marriage relationships? Shouldn’t I protect and adore my precious bride? Shouldn’t I edify her and tell her she is the smartest and most beautiful bride in all creation? Shouldn’t I shower my bride with my love and affection, and give her precious gifts to show her just how much I Love her? Shouldn’t I just know that she is the perfect bride for me and want to keep her close and to be as one with her?
You had a great marriage but now you have marriage problems. You were happy, your husband was happy, and the children were happy. Then… you gave birth, there was a tragedy in the family, or just all of a sudden out of nowhere, you don’t feel yourself and you don’t act yourself. You started to feel guilty about all types of things, you started eating compulsively, or you just withdraw from things. It is very likely that this is the beginning of depression, and if you want to get better and fix up your marriage problems then you better get help as soon as possible before it gets even worse.In this article I will show some of the common symptoms of depression so you will know to get the proper help.Some of the common emotions that a depressed FEMALE feels (interestingly men have different symptoms) are:Feelings of self blame, guilt, and worthlessness. It isn’t clear if these feelings are symptoms of depression or the cause of the depression. However, for us laymen there is no practical difference. Since they come together with depression, if you experience such feelings for a few weeks, then it is a sign that you are depressed and you need help. This is regardless if these feeling caused the depression or are the result of the depression.Some other common emotions that are telltale signs of female depression are feeling sad apathetic, or frightened.The signs of depression are not limited to a change in mood and emotions. A change in the way you act could also be a sign that you are depressed.For instance, a woman who gets depressed, loses her zest and liveliness and becomes very slow, lethargic.They sleep much more than usual. (As opposed to men who suffer from depression, who sleep less.)They don’t jump into projects like they used to but rather they procrastinate and push off even simple household chores. And when they finally get around to doing what they have to do, they do it much slower then they ordinarily did.Another group of behavior that points towards depression is conduct that is really a derivative of the feeling of worthlessness; they lose personal boundaries, give into other peoples wishes, and let people walk over them. They also avoid all types of conflict (feeling that they have no right to think what they think) and are very afraid of success.Another typical sign of female depression is excessive eating. Here also it is not clear if the binge eating is a direct result of depression or that they binge eat to punish themselves for their mood.Depression causes marriage problems and is dangerous. The good news is that it is also treatable. Recognize the signs of depression in order to get the help you need and fix up your marriage problems and start to life live once again.
When you’re young and in love you see romance everywhere. Over time life becomes more complicated. Romance slips away unnoticed. Crowded out by all of the other things in our busy modern life. Now it’s time to romance back. It’s time to put a little spice back into your marriage.When your world seems to have been taken over by responsibilities like taking care of the kids or paying the bills, it’s easy to forget the importance of romance. It’s easy to slip into a comfortable routine. Get up, go to work, come home, make dinner, clean up, watch a little TV, go to bed, then get up and do it again.Many of us have become so used to this routine that being romantic makes us feel a little awkward. There was a time when doing romantic things for your spouse was completely automatic. The good news is that you will feel comfortable again. Acknowledge the fact that you will feel awkward for a little while and jump back in with both feet.The first step is to develop a deep appreciation for your partner. Focus on their positive features. We all have positive and negative features. Over time we tend to focus on the negatives. This is your change to turn back the clock. Write down every good thing about your partner. When you’re done, read through the list and focus on how lucky you are to have them in your life.Think back to a time when you were romantic. Certainly you were romantic as newlyweds. Hopefully that wasn’t the last time you were romantic! Now just do those same kinds of things again. Take the time to learn about your partner all over again. You may feel that now you already know your partner very well, that there is nothing new to learn. But then why are you reading this article. If you already know them so well, then “Why aren’t they happy?” and “Why aren’t you?”As we get older and take on adult responsibilities, we forget how to be kids. So be a kid again. Grab you partner and do the things that you loved as a kid like riding a swing or playing hide-n-seek. It’s great to be a grown-up but every once in a while it’s fun to let your inner child out.Here are a few more ideas to get your creative juices flowing. Give your spouse a massage. Candles and scented oil will make the massage even more memorable. Make them their favorite breakfast. Leave them a secret note someplace they’re sure to find it. Use your imagination to come up with more ideas. Check around online. Just enter “romantic ideas” into your favorite search engine. The last time I entered that on Google, I got back over 800,000 results.Being romantic is an attitude. Sacrifice the time you are now wasting on petty worries. Instead spend that time thinking about something you can do to bring a little spice back into your marriage. The time you spend is a great investment, an investment in the most important relationship in your life.
Is your relationship breaking down, and are you’re starting to say “I want my husband back”? Before you even realize something is wrong, you may find your marriage nearing its end. If you want your marriage to last and not collapse into a nasty divorce, then it is your duty to try as hard as you can to keep it going. To win husband back, here are 5 steps that you can take to revitalize your marriage:1) Understand this is a team effort:If you want the solution to “I want my husband back”, then you must first understand that this is going to require a team effort – and both of you have a role to play. Your husband needs to put in as much effort as you will to make sure the marriage lasts.2) You are equally responsible:A relationship does not just consist of one person. It took both of you to make it happen in the first place, and so both of you are responsible for making it last. What this means is that it is unfair if you take all the responsibility, or if you pass it all on to your husband. As long as you are playing your part in fixing the marriage, so should he.3) Identify what makes you a good couple:You need to take an objective look at your life and how the marriage fits in with what you had in mind. What is it that brought you two together, and what keeps you determined to make it last? Have a look at what makes your husband special to you? And ask him what attracts him to you. If the passion is still there, “I want my husband back” will be easy since the marriage still fits in with your life’s goals.4) Do what you both love – together:Once you know what attracts you to each other, and what you love to do as a couple, then go out and do those things again. You used to love going for long walks on the beach together – well, go and do that then. Just bring it up subtly over dinner, but let him make the ultimate decision about the activity. If you can make it seem like it was his idea, and then get excited about it – it will be easier figuring out how to get your husband back.5) Let him know your thoughts on the marriage:Once you out together doing the activity you used to love doing as a couple, you will have a chance to talk about the marriage with comfort. Tell him what attracted you to him in the beginning, and how grateful you are for the marriage – and remind him how much you used to have together.It will be so much easier to share your feelings with each other, when you comfortable and happy doing your favorite activity together. Do not be afraid to tell him “I want my husband back”, because he probably feels the same way about you.Finally, what you need to come to terms with is that the marriage may never be what it once was – times change and so people. And even if you do win husband back, the marriage may never be its best. But that does not mean it cannot be better than ever. In fact, by believing that your marriage has not even peaked yet, it will give you the motivation to do your best to make it work. Be convincing as you say “I want my husband back”, and now work at it to make it the best relationship it can possibly be.
Christian couples facing problems seek the guidance of God. Marriage counseling becomes inevitable for these couples who desperately want to tread on God’s path. Therefore, they need to consult good advisers in this field. Lack of mutual communication with your partner can give rise to problems in your couple. More complicated issues like sex and lies can really aggravate the situation. In such situations, a counselor is mostly welcome.Counselors who are not specifically religious will give you advice, but not those from God’s word. Christian marriage counseling has been the first choice of many couples who wanted to save their marriage. Marriage and family counselors are now available in many churches and counseling centers. They do not only help you to find solutions to your problems. They will also help you to strengthen your marriage and you will be drawn nearer to God.This is what the aim of a good Christian marriage counselor will be. You and your partner will get back together and you will gradually experience God. The priorities of your life will be clearer in your mind. So, you will both be better concentrated on things, which are of prime importance to you.Do not think that time will heal things, and so, you will wait for your problems to vanish away. Do not be reluctant to quickly consult a Christian marriage counselor. It is their job to help you mend things in your relationship.What you may find difficult to do is to persuade your partner that counseling is an essential tool that will help you both. Here, you may even ask the counselor for advice in order to know how you will make your partner agree.
By the time most people get around to emailing me or leaving comments on my blog, their marriage has typically been in trouble for a while. It’s so easy to just ignore the problem and hope that it will go away until it reaches a point where you can no longer do that. It’s often only then that folks will sit down, roll up their sleeves, and try to “fix” what hasn’t been working for a long while.The problem with this is that things have often deteriorated to the point that intimacy and empathy are starting to wane. Therefore, your results are likely to be delayed or skewed by this loss. Making this problem worse is the fact that often people will first try to make drastic changes or overhauls to their marriage or to their spouse without realizing two things. First, you can not really and legitimately control anyone but yourself. Second, people generally will greatly resent being manipulated and will only resist you more when you attempt this. So, in the following article, I will discuss beginning to save your marriage by controlling what and who you can – yourself and you own actions.Why Saving Your Marriage Starts With You: As I said before, often in the beginning, you may have some difficulty and resentment if you try to manipulate, guilt, strong arm, or argue your partner into seeing things your way, especially if they’ve been distancing them self from you for quite some time. And, even if you could do this, it really is not the best idea because you would have gotten their cooperation, but their heart is not really in it. This is not a decision that they made all on their own so the likelihood that this is going to “stick” or be lasting is much less.You want for them to be a willing participant in every aspect of your marriage and sometimes this means letting them come to the place that you are at in their own time. Often this takes them seeing that things actually can change and get much better and that the process does not have to feel like “work” or require a great deal of sacrifice or discomfort.So the easiest and best way to begin is to control what you can – which is you and only you. Start by taking a look at your own behaviors. Are you being the spouse that you yourself what want to have? Do you listen more than you talk? Give as much as you take? Make an effort to know what is going on with your spouse and do what you can to lighten their load? Do you show them understanding, appreciation and spontaneous loving gestures on an ongoing basis? If the answer is no or “not enough” to any of these things, then you already know where you need to start.You won’t be able to do a 180 degree turn in one day, but if you make small efforts each day, you may be quite surprised at the transformation that occurs in a very short period of time. Once you spouse sees that things are better without much hardship, they will very likely be much more willing to pitch in.Contrasting Today With Yesterday: When I was in marital counseling, the counselor gave me an exercise that really both shocked me and helped me very much. She asked me to describe myself when I was my husband’s girlfriend. And she wanted to know what it was like in the beginning. I had to admit that, during that time frame, I was outgoing, happy go lucky, enthusiastic, attentive, exciting, etc. After all, who isn’t beaming and giving more than they take when they are first falling in love?Then, she asked me to describe myself as I was now, as a wife. This excise was very hard. Deep down, I know that I was hurried, stressed, overbearing at times, and a whole lot less happy go lucky. But, she was having a hard time pulling this out of me. So, she picked up her phone, took a photo of me before I knew what had happened and pulled it up on her phone. She handed the phone to me and then pulled out a photo of our wedding day. The contrast was striking and painful.I was expecting my husband to feel the same intensity toward me, yet I was not in any way putting in the time and effort that I used to. The counselor assured me that I should not use this exercise as an excuse to blame myself. She was trying to point out that often it’s the circumstances that change more than it is our feelings that change. And, she wanted me to know that I had direct control over the circumstances from my end.Beginning To Take Control Of Yourself And Your Marriage: So many of us make the mistake of sort of floating along with our marriage – like we are holding onto a raft but not really steering it. We’re floating along aimlessly in the sea of discontent but we aren’t able to see this clearly until we’ve floated out and are facing the sharks and the harsh sun. We’re so weakened and tired now that pulling or getting our self to shore is going to be much harder than it needed to be. You really no longer have to live this way.Start changing this by just becoming more aware. What is your day to day married life like and what does it lack? See, you know what it takes to get your husband’s interest to a high enough level that he “falls in love.” You’ve already done it once. But chances are the somewhere along the way, you took for granted that he was yours and that you could turn your attention to other things that are equally as important – like paying the bills and raising the kids. But what we all fail to realize is that if we let our marriage slide, this act and omission is going to bleed into everything else in our lives and then every thing starts to change and corrode.So, identify those things that have begun to slide and take control of them slowly but surely. If you find that the two of you don’t really talk anymore, remember that you are changing yourself and start a conversation. If you feel there isn’t enough affection, start changing things with you and begin demonstrating more spontaneous touching, back rubs, etc. Begin by giving more of what you yourself want. Once your spouse begins to enjoy these changes and sees that the process isn’t really going to back breaking hard work, he will likely slowly start to reciprocate and once you have to people focusing on themselves, then you are really getting somewhere.