Marriage counseling is also known as couples therapy. It is a process by which a licensed therapist helps a couple to resolve conflicts. If both parties are willing, this therapy can open up discussion and provide for more and better communication. Problems can be solved in a healthier manner.Marriage counseling is only effective if both partners are willing to listen, learn and change. All couples can benefit from the open and heartfelt discussion that counseling can provide, if they are willing to invest themselves in the process.You may seek counseling to help with any one of many issues that can arise in a long term relationship. It is possible that you need help working through infidelity, divorce, family issues, and differences in lifestyle or finances. Perhaps the most important tool that therapy can provide is the ability to talk about these issues freely and openly without the threat of a negative reaction. Counseling can provide you a safe and confidential environment to strengthen your relationship.In marriage counseling, you will learn how to avoid blaming one another and to rediscover what it was that brought you together as a couple in first place. You will explore new way to communicate and to make your needs known to each other in a positive way that helps strengthen your relationship.The positive effects of couples therapy can reach even outside of your relationship. You may find that you can focus better on your work and work relationships. Both members of the relationship may allow themselves to have a better time even when they are apart without the burden of deep relationship issues.Couples therapy can be a great growing experience for both members of any relationship.
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Look, we all know the statistics, well, maybe not literally, but we all have been told how often marriages fail. It’s talked about on your favorite talk show. There are numerous reality shows that start out with two loving couples and end up one serving the other divorce papers. In short, the stats aren’t good, and you’re smart to worry, but don’t let it interfere with what could be the wonderful experience of your life.Forget Worrying About Making the Marriage Work – Think about Why Marriages FailThere are numerous reasons marriages fail. You can never cover all your bases and plan against everything. Sometimes things just happen and two folks move in different directions. However, with that being said, the majority of failed marriages come from people that move too quickly and don’t take into consideration how to nurture a relationship for long lasting love – together.What Does It Take To Nurture a Relationship?It takes an understanding of who you’re in love with, and an understanding on how to fill the needs of your partner. And no, I’m not talking about the bedroom needs.Most people are very surprised when they hear how they can be in love with someone and not understand that person’s wants and needs – from a relationship (love and nurture) standpoint. Those that take the time to learn their partner are always the most successful in keeping that partner wildly in love with them, and vice versa.How Can You Keep Your Partner Crazy-in-Love with You Forever?
There is nothing unusual if you are currently experiencing various marital problems and maybe even suffering through marital distress. It’s a natural result of bringing two people together who share everything and live beside each other every day. However, it doesn’t have to be this way all the time if you know how to resolve some common mistakes.Some of the reasons that a marriage might breakup include the couple’s lack of intimate communication, money problems, infidelity that can breakdown trust and medical reasons. And when one or some of these occurs we prefer to avoid the truth and deny that anything has happened, instead of accepting changes.But remember, giving up on a love relationship is not good. You must work at rekindling the lost love. Meaning, you have to mend broken hearts. Here are the things to consider in fixing a broken marriage.1. Seek counseling help. If you’ve tried counseling before and it hasn’t worked for you, it could be that you didn’t have the right counselor. You may have to try another doctor or therapist until you find one that’s right for you. This doesn’t mean that you keep looking until you find a doctor who agrees with you over your spouse, but one who is genuinely concerned and caring enough to help you find your way back to each other.2. Accept changes for yourself. Usually if there are some problems in the marriage, the fault not only lies in your partner, they are also about the things you do as well. Attitudes that are self centered, bossy, jealous, impatient, and untruthful and many others are the reasons for the problems in your marriage. You need to see what you did wrong before blaming your spouse for everything, while he may be responsible for the trouble you both are having, chances are you had your share of moments. The best thing to do is not to spend time dwelling on his flaws. Focus on yourself first.3. Have a positive attitude. You should carry this attitude with you all the time and show it to your family often. You should be loving, optimistic, faithful, grateful, as well as patient, in addition to a whole host of different attributes, so that your family figures that you really love them and want to be with them.4. Build on the commonalities and love you still share for one another. Find a trained professional who can help guide you along your journey through what may be some trying times. Above all, remember that marriage is a sacred covenant that is not to be entered into lightly. Seeking a divorce, unless in extreme cases such as abuse, should not be an option unless you can honestly say you have done all you could to fix the marriage first.5. Interpersonal communication is essential as this is the way on how you share with your feelings with your partner. Active listening or hearing what your partner is saying is another important thing. Active listening allows the listener to hear what is being said and then repeat back to the individual what the listener believes has been said. This type of communication is based on trust between two individuals. This trust provides for a safe environment that allows the individuals to share whatever is on their heart and mind without the concern of rejection, judgment or ridicule, and needs to be maintained as the initial step in how to fix a marriage. 6. Take time to on how much love and passion you have for each other, go out on dates, remember specific situations in which you were both happy and relive them. Laugh about funny instances in your past, and bring in old friends to remind you of younger more fun days in the past. Get friends to watch the children and have an adults night with just the two of you and do something romantic.But above all, if everything is not going well then you take time to bring the problem to God. Be faithful to your partner even if he is not faithful to you, with God’s help, if it is meant to work it will work out.
Cable news network popularly known as CNN, is regarded by many as the strongest and the best television station in the world, its coverage is unrivaled, it reach is unprecedented, its impact is great, it is “quoted everywhere”. Its major subject is news, its focus is information not entertainment and it is doing this in the best way it can.Marriage also has its own CNN, by this I mean there is a way to get the right information for your marriage, equipping yourself, building your home. This is how to go about it.C- Counsel: Have a good counselor for your marriage, your own marriage mentor, somebody that can lead, corrects and informs you. Be humble enough to seek help when it will be useful, don’t allow your marriage to be in coma before you cry out for help. counseling is very good to improve your marriage and family life.N- Network: Walk in company with good and loving people. People that love and respect their own spouses. People that believe in sanctity of marriage. Avoid people that do not love or respect their own mate, relate with people that will help you to grow, people that will encourage you to love, forgive and bond with your own mate. Anybody that condemn or criticize his/her mate before you (either the mate is there or not) should not be your friend so that you may not be like them. Also avoid making people with broken marriages your best friend or relationship mentor so that you may not fail into their errors.N- Nurture: Learn how to nurture your marriage, for this you need information, you need to be informed, you need to learn and become better. Number one killer of marriage is ignorance, what you don’t know senior’s you, the level of your information will determine the level of your transformation. To learn more about love, marriage and family life, I advise you to surround yourself with good books, magazine, and tapes, attend marriage seminars, marriage school you can also get good resources on my blogNever believe you know it all, there is definitely something to learn, there is something to know, work on yourself, equip yourself to be a better lover, husband, wife and parent.
Living in a sexless marriage isn’t easy. You feel alone, depressed, rejected, and confused. You may even feel stuck in your sexless marriage, as if this isn’t what you signed up for when you said “I Do” a while back.You had dreams of love and passion and now you face a kind of loneliness that is hard to bear and difficult to share with anyone else. In addition, you simply have no idea how to fix this situation. Nothing seems like it has a real chance of working. What can you do?First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself. This will get you nowhere, and being a person full of self-pity isn’t the most attractive thing in the world.Second of all, you shouldn’t feel stuck in your marriage. As always, you have a choice to make. Either work on your marriage, accept it as it is and try to be happy about it, or end it. I’m not advocating divorce, just being in action. I’m actually in favor of trying to save your marriage as long as you still love your spouse and believe there is something worth saving.Third, it’s time to become your own person. Pursue your hobbies, take up a class, invest in your career. Doing this will make you a happier person in your own right and you will feel less defined by your marriage. This can also make you look more attractive in the eyes of your spouse.Fourth, take a long hard look at your life and see whether there is something in your marriage or the interaction between you two that could have brought on this lack of passion. Most likely, something has turned a little stale between the two of you and it’s time to bring it back to life.Above all, don’t despair, there’s a lot that can be done to bring back the passion to your marriage. It’s time to take action.
Have you been fighting non stop with your husband or wife, lately? Have you begun to question where the love you once felt for one another when you first married has gone? Are you worried that sooner or later you might have to separate? This article will give some knowledge you could take advantage of and a resource for the best approach to rescuing your marriage – beginning now.First things first, there have been many people, since the start of human civilization, that have managed to survive extremely trying times in their marriages, and you can be counted among them with the proper information.Usually when a marriage isn’t doing so extraordinary it is because you are having difficulty with ordinary issues that all couples go through. Some of these issues are listed below:* A partner that doesn’t let you to be yourself* Situations with raising your offspring* Having insufficient good time with busy schedules.For the most part, the best thing for quarreling couples is one of them tasking themselves to preserving and fixing the marriage. The impressive thing is that when this happens, usually the other partner will move and wish to bring the marriage back to par, too.This means that even when your spouse appears to not be committed to or still interested in your marriage there is still a chance for you to set an example and begin learning the information and techniques that other couples have gained in order to save their marriage and with any luck your spouse will be taking part in the marriage along with you.It is crucial that you never give up if you really want your marriage to succeed. A marriage is something that both spouses have dedicated their life to and is by all odds something that is worth fighting for.
He who returns from a journey is not the same as he who left. — Chinese ProverbWhen was the last time you took a vacation? A family vacation is one thing, but I am talking about a couples vacation-just you and your spouse. Are you about due yet? If you want to do more than just get away, read on. Vacations can help to refresh and revive relationships. It is like breathing fresh air into them, re-energizing them with greater intimacy and deeper love.By definition, vacation is time devoted to rest and relaxation as from work or study. So if you are wondering if it is something you can afford, think of it this way. It is something you cannot afford to go without. Without devoted time for rest and relaxation, we get burned out on our jobs, and lose our effectiveness and interest. How about our marriages? They suffer also. Couples grow apart, experience less satisfaction, and are more irritable with each other.So how can couples keep their relationships healthy and strong? By devoting quality time to them, that is, time away from all that keeps them busy and distracted. Studies show that couples who schedule periodic dates and spend more time together are more satisfied with their marriages than those who don’t. How often do you devote time to be alone together? Whether it’s a date or vacation, spending time together is an investment with great returns.With no interference from work or home, periodic getaways with our spouses allow us to focus on each other, share memorable life experiences together, and simply have fun. Did you ever experience something enjoyable and wish your partner had been there to share it with you? Well, getaways provide opportunities to create cherished and lifelong memories. Vacations with your partner are about being together in body, soul, and spirit. They are times that bring great fulfillment and wholeness to the relationship. And they are times couples need for their relationships to thrive.Before you go on vacation you don’t want to have any grudges, resentment, or unforgiveness toward one another. It is healthy to release any negative baggage and work through unresolved issues before you go. Otherwise, there is a very good chance they will come up directly or indirectly in a bad attitude, sarcasm, or distancing. The focus ought to be on the strengths of the relationship. You can both make a commitment to overlook minor annoyances and notice the good not the bad. If you are unable to so, then I recommend counseling before you go on a vacation and maybe start with dating first.Getaways don’t have to be expensive. The real goal is to enjoy being together, to value that time, and to grow and appreciate the beauty of life and gift of love. When planning your special times together, be sure to consider fun things you both like to do, something new you can experience, and romantic and playful ways to enjoy one another. Turn off the cell phones, forget about work, leave your cares behind, and devote quality time to the love of your life. Enjoy each other!4 WARNING SIGNS OF A NEGLECTED MARRIAGE:1. Priorities out of order. If you devote most of your extra time and attention to anything above God and your spouse, your relationships will suffer. We see this with workaholics. Whether their work is their passion or an escape, it becomes their top priority at all costs. Their spouses and children feel the affects and it damages the most precious gift they are blessed with: family. Anything that comes first in a person’s life can get out of balance and become an idol. It can be an addiction such as pornography or drugs. It can be can an interest or hobby such as sports or entertainment. If a relationship is a top priority, more quality time and attention will be devoted to it. What are your top 5 priorities? Do your actions and devotions support your answer? Where does your spouse place on your list? Would he or she agree?2. Divided attention. Too often we can be in someone’s company and find that they aren’t fully present. Physically they are, but their thoughts and occupations are elsewhere. They are answering text messages and cell calls. They are distracted by competing cries for their attention. Focus is lost and shifted to other things, and it leaves others feeling less important, alone, or in the way. Divided attention doesn’t have to become an ongoing problem with couples. Appropriate limits and boundaries can be set. Have you been guilty of allowing distractions to draw you away from your partner? If they have been excessive, what can you do limit them? Ask your partner how he or she feels about it and what would be an acceptable solution.3. Missing Quality Time. When couples don’t spend enough quality time together, they begin to get bored in the relationship. A lack of fun and sharing can lead them to think there is something wrong with their marriage. This leads to confusion about their feelings. Some wonder if they fell out of love, when in fact they haven’t been investing time with each other and fanning the flame to keep their passion and love for each other fully alive. Investing in a relationship takes time and work. Relationships that are neglected grow weak and routine. How satisfied are you with your marriage? How much quality time do you spend with your partner? What enjoyable things do you together for excitement?4. Over-Stressed. With many responsibilities at work, home, and school in this face-paced society, it is no wonder that many are stressed. Without enough time for rest and relaxation, stress can lead to burnout and irritability as well as relationship and health problems. Reducing stress not only improves ones outlook and energy, it improves relationships. A calm and peaceful state of being brings out the best in us. We are more patient, kind, and content. Is stress weighing on your marriage? What, if anything, are you doing to manage stress?So, how can getaways help in the 4 key areas we addressed above? First, we decide that time devoted to spend with our spouse is a top priority. Second, we leave all distracting devices and attention seekers behind. Third, we decide to enjoy and appreciate each other’s company by sharing and doing things we enjoy together. Fourth, we release stress and allow peace to fill us and restore us.
Prior to a legal divorce ensuing, the majority of couples undergo an emotional break-up. You should never try to stop a legal divorce – instead, you should try to turn it around. It is important to attempt to halt the emotional divorce. If you’re searching for ways to save your marriage, I have a few simple recommendations.The most important thing to pay attention to in saving your marriage is you. Not really in a selfish way, rather a self-serving way. Do not criticize your partner in a way that you are trying to fix them. Instead, look at yourself and center to their criticisms (without throwing out accusations) and better yourself. Spend time listening to your spouse and see what you can do to fix the problem.Sometimes you must make personal changes instead of trying to fix your spouse. If you begin to change, your spouse will acknowledge and respond to these changes and begin changing themselves. If you can manage to avoid the things that your spouse is complaining about, there will be nothing for them to complain about. As long as you adjust to criticism that is launched, no more criticisms will follow. When you yield criticisms you are making your partner aggravated and you are digging yourself deeper into a soulful separation.Consider how your spouse feels about you. Trying to remedy the situation can be painful and slow. When you let go, destructive feelings have the chance to diffuse. By arguing with your spouse, you just create negative memories and bad feelings that can grow over time. As long as you don’t react in a negative manner, there won’t be anything to expand on.A marriage is a contract where you have to work. Improve yourself and then observe your partner improving themselves in return. Although these things may seem insignificant, these are some crucial ways to save your marriage– give them a try!
When it comes to saving your marriage, you want to get to the other side. To get to the other side you can take the short road which appears that it will lessen your pain or you can take the long road which will actually build back the critical foundations of attraction that you and your partner shared.It’s up to you which road you take.There are a lot of magic formulas promising to be the genie that winks at you so that you follow some 30 day rule of no contact to get back with your spouse.You know how easy it is to bait a child with candy because he/she is naive. Desperation tend to make people gullible and very naive. Here you are trying to search for legitimate information and people out there are making guarantees that you cannot lose if you follow some home brewed formula.I know you are highly intelligent and you well know the truth. If you are desperate because of trying things that have backfired on you, you’re probably just sick of being lonely and want a way out of the messy emotions you are feelings.There is a way out BUT it comes with a price.The same emotions you are trying to run away from is a gift to tell you that what you need to learn to be in a healthy relationship. Pain teaches us to avoid. Your painful emotions is your teacher to help you learn more healthier emotional skills to sustain a great relationship.Instead of following tactics to stop your divorce or save your marriage, learn the lessons that you need to learn so that you don’t end up completely humiliating yourself and crawling on your belly like a snake because you are using “magic” to save your marriage.
The other day, I got an email from a wife who asked me to help her communicate the right things in a letter that she was planning to write for her husband. They had been having problems and she wanted to tell him all the things that she never got to say because they were arguing all of the time. She wanted to make sure that the letter communicated how much she wanted to work things out and save the marriage, but she didn’t want to grovel or sound needy and she certainly didn’t want for the letter to make things worse.I told her that a letter can be a decent idea some of the time, but typically when you get to the point where you have to write to your husband instead of speaking to him, then your actions are going to make a far greater difference than your words, especially if you’ve been saying the same things repeatedly without any real change. I will discuss this more in the following article.Make Sure That The Letter Isn’t Replacing Real Change And Real Action: If you’re going to write a letter, make sure that you don’t go on and on with things you’ve always been saying but haven’t really followed through on. This is one way to ensure that your husband begins to tune you out and that the letters you write and the things that you say begin to fall on deaf ears because he’s heard all of these promises before and yet here you both still are.Basically, you want to communicate the fact that you are writing the letter because you want to be able to express yourself without getting emotional or getting off track. You want for him to know that you are committed to the marriage and want to make it better. Then, (and this is where a lot of people stop, but shouldn’t,) you should tell him at least a little bit of your plan. If you remember nothing else, please remember that you should not make what’s going to happen next sound like “work.” Many people will outline how they want to “work” on their marriage and this is typically where the spouse will start to zone out, because this doesn’t sound at all appealing.Instead, you should say that you want to laugh, have fun, and be lighthearted again. You want to enjoy one another and be a team. You want to offer them what every one wants in a spouse – to have a smile on their face because they feel loved, understood, and appreciated. Offer them this rather than “hard work” and an uphill battle, and you’ll often get better results.Never Make Promises In The “Working Things Out” Letter That You Really Can’t Keep: Often people write that they are sorry and outline all of the ways that they are going to change. They make all sorts of promises which they are hoping will get their spouse’s attention. The problem is that the promises often aren’t unrealistic and when these things don’t come to fruition, then you have resentment on top of the other issues. And the truth is, your spouse often begins to gloss over things that you’ve said a million times before. We often don’t give them enough credit for paying attention the many times before this comes up and so we say it yet again. We don’t realize that they’ve stopped paying attention long ago.Speaking of the issues, you don’t want to dwell on them. Your husband already knows what the problem is. You don’t need to repeatedly remind him of it. You don’t want him to finish the letter thinking “man, we have a lot of work to do and an uphill battle on our hands.” You want for him to finish reading on a positive note. It doesn’t hurt to make him laugh or make him smile so that he walks away feeling hopeful rather than hopeless.Actions Always Trump Words When You Are Trying To Save Your Marriage: As women, we are often better communications than men. However, we often resort to the written page because we don’t like to be interrupted and we want to have our say. We don’t always want to watch his face or see his response as we make our point. So, a letter seems “safer” and more preferable. However, you are much better off just doing what you know that you need to do whether than just telling him that you’re going to do it. Often, he is not going to believe that any real change is going to happen, so the only way to convince him is to show him. Begin by just changing your own actions and behaviors. You don’t even have to give him the heads up that you intend to do this. He will eventually notice all on his own. And, when he does, he will often be much more enthusiastic than he would be if you had explained the whole thing to him. He will likely be quite relieved that the transformation wasn’t quite as labor intensive as he thought. The resistance often has to do more with the work that is required of him than his feelings for you. It’s so important to make the process fun and appealing. He’ll respond much better to promises of fun together and more laid back good times.And often when he sees the transformation that happened without any huge sacrifices necessary from him, he will start to pitch in because the pay off is far better than he expected. He’s getting more of what he wants without having to be dragged through the semantics of the whole thing. In short, writing a letter can relieve some of the tension and can feel good. It may soothe some of the outstanding sticking points and give you a starting point, but it isn’t likely to solve all of your problems or take the place of real action and real change.