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Help For Men Trying to Save Their Marriage

Times are changing, and today, more and more men find themselves trying to save their marriage.  When you feel that your marriage is in trouble, you should do whatever you can to save it.Ideally, both partners should do what they can to save the marriage.  A divorce does more than just end a marriage – it drastically affects personal lives, including not only the divorcing couple, but their family and friends, as well. Showing your love for your partner is a great way to start.  Too often, as couples get comfortable in the marriage, we forget how important it is to show our spouse that we love them.  Women want their husbands to be romantic and thoughtful, as much as they can be.Give her a gift for no reason.  Write her a love note, and leave it in her car so she’ll see it on her way to work.  Take her out to see a romantic movie.Good communication skills are a must in any relationship, especially a marriage.  The husband should allow extra time out of the day to talk to his wife.  Spend quality time together.  Listen to, and understand, your wife’s feelings and problems.In a stable marriage, you should both have complete trust and faith in one another.  If your wife is a professional worker, you should never feel jealousy towards her.If you find that it’s hard for you to solve your marital problems, try talking to family members or close friends.  Seek marriage counseling for professional advice.  There are many forms of this available to you.  There are ‘real’ marriage counselors, there are ebooks which you can buy online, which are written by professionals.  Either one will help you to truly understand what is happening in your marriage, and will show you how to correct the problems, thus saving your marriage.

My Husband Left and Said He Doesn’t Know When Or If He’s Coming Back – How Can I Get Him Home?

I get a lot of emails or questions about what a wife should do if her husband leaves the home.   One example is the one I got over the weekend where the wife told me that her husband would not disclose where he was going or how long he would be gone.  He had basically told her that he had no idea when he was coming back or even if he was.  The wife wanted to know how she should handle this. Of course, she was worried sick about both him and the marriage.  But, his leaving had made it very clear that he wanted some time and space.  Intellectually, she knew that she should probably honor this request, but emotionally, she could not imagine just allowing this to progress naturally.  I’ll share with you what I told her in the following article.Don’t Allow Your Wanting Him To Come Home Too Soon To Drive You To Make Overly Emotional Decisions:  I know that if you’ve found this article, you probably want your husband home nearly immediately. And the longer he’s gone, the worse this feels.  Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead you to make rash or overly emotional decisions.  In truth, your husband likely left to get a break from the situation in the hopes that the high emotions would calm down and that you could both think a bit more rationally.  So, if you push him or continuously call or nag or try to engage him as to why he is doing this, you are only giving him more of what he was already trying to escape and this can actually make the situation worse and set you back in terms of time.I know that it’s very difficult, but try very hard to let the time and space happen and doing so will often allow the situation to slightly improve even if the improvement is only due to a lessening of the growing tension.   I know that there’s a distinct possibility that you may have said or done some things that you regret and there will be a time to communicate this, but this time is often not immediately after he leaves.  Give both of you the time to calm down and to reflect a bit before you attempt to make or receive contact.Controlling What He Thinks (And  Hopefully Feels) When He Thinks About You:  It’s highly likely that he’s at a crossroads right now.  He’s not sure if he’s better off in the marriage or outside of it.  He’s likely going to think about you and the marriage as he struggles to decide which way that he wants to go.  This will likely include past memories and recent ones.   Do you really want to give him a glimpse of you as needy and desperate so that this is what he can think of when he ponders this?  Of course not.  You want for him to see you as a positive influence rather than a negative one.  Always keep this in the back of your mind before you act.  I know that this is easier said than done, but it’s so necessary.And, here’s what you have in your corner, although you might now realize it right now.  You already know what attracts him and draws him to you in terms of behavior.  So, this is what you want to give him to ponder right now.  Now, you may have already behaved in a way that runs counter to this.  But, tomorrow is a new day and you’ll focus on controlling what you can.  There will come a time when you will need to or be able to interact with him.  When that day comes, you want to draw on your best self so that when he remembers back on that encounter, he’s pleasantly surprised and not drawing on memories of someone who is desperate, high maintenance, needy, or unattractive, which brings me to my next point.Spend Your Time Doing The Things That Strengthen You:  I know that you probably have a burning desire to text or call him and then to watch sad movies or listen to sad songs or hang out with friends who are also going through a break up. While this might provide some comfort momentarily, it’s not your best bet for the long term.   You want to concentrate on doing things that strengthen you and make you feel strong and competent.  This might feel counter productive at the time, but it truly is not up.Surround yourself with positive, upbeat people.  If you are going to focus on your appearance, focus on doing things that make you feel better, not worse.  Don’t beat yourself up or tell yourself if you were a better wife or had more to offer, this would not have happened.  Instead, focus on what you can do moving forward.  Do whatever you need to do to improve yourself and build your confidence.  This is going to work for you in a couple of ways. First, it’s going to make you more attractive to him.  Confidence and competence is appealing and attractive.  But, more than that, it’s going to make you feel a little bit better and provide you with a little relief. I know that you may feel that this plan is risky, but it’s really the only way to set it up so that you know he’s coming back of his own free will.  If you give in to the negative feelings and guilt or beg him back, you will always wonder deep down if he came back for the right reasons of his own free will.  It’s also important that you focus on bonding and resuming the closeness before you try to pick apart or “work on” your marriage.  If you are already on shaky ground, you don’t want to reintroduce any huge stressors until the relationship is able to endure this.

How to Save a Marriage – Ways to Save a Marriage Without Counseling

When a couple realizes their marriage is failing, first things first, they see a counselor. Being the most widely used remedy for saving a marriage. Research has proved there are other ways to save a marriage, and that most counseling in the end failed. Talking to a stranger often makes a spouse feel vulnerable, and causes emotional pain. A rocky relationship can be salvaged if both spouses are make an adjustment and are willing to accept some form of help. If a couple see the need for change, there are other methods available besides open counseling.Saving a marriage without counseling:Seeking advice from the older generation: Rather than seeking professional help, seek out an elder, whether it is from the community or from your family. They often are happy to see you together. An elder often can provide you with good advice, and maybe bring your marriage back on track. A preacher is a prime example of someone who is caring and loving, while wanting to see your family succeed. Often your preacher knew you from when you were younger, and can properly advise you on a path to take. Counselors are trained to talk as a third party and listen to both sides of a situation, their goal is to see your marriage last. An elder or a preacher can speak bluntly and openly because they are closer to the situation than a counselor who is paid. They often can help you find peace and harmony in your marriage.Prevention of an argument is a key to a good marriage: Fighting is often caused by arguments with no conclusion. When making decisions, sometimes an argument leads to individual decisions rather than mutual ones. If a spouse concedes in an argument, it is a decision in its own right to not argue. This way, you understand that you are conceding to your spouse’s decisions and giving them a more feeling of acceptance. Respect often goes both ways; in one instance you’re showing your spouse that you respect their thoughts and decisions.Seek out the root of the problem: Couples fight for many reasons, some of those being; religious beliefs, sexual intimacy, raising children, financial situations, or even other family members. Taking a step back and looking at your own personal situation, usually reveals the reason for problems in your marriage. Taking equal roles in the responsibilities around the home is an important solution to many problems. When one spouse sees the other spouse taking an active role in the responsibilities around the house, this will bring them much closer. Often when one spouse slacks off on their responsibilities as a parent or their duties around the house, this will cause unrest in a marriage. Often a heartfelt apology is needed to keep the emotions from running wild and turning into anger. It is also harder to bring a situation back under control when anger is involved. When a situation is prevented from escalading it is much easier to keep under control.A healthy sex life leads to a healthy marriage: Couple’s tend to lose sight of certain aspects of marriage once a child is introduced into the relationship. Until death do us part is part of most wedding vows, this means that regardless if you have one, two, or maybe even three children, you should love your spouse until death. Sex is a big part of relationships, a healthy sex life leads to happiness among spouses, and it brings them closer together, when raising children has made them drift apart. Sometimes spending a week or two without your children, a vacation so to say, is better than letting your relationship fail.A healthy conversation goes a long ways: When married couples weren’t married, and just were dating, they often discuss topics that would otherwise seem useless. Such examples being who came out with a new music video, or who started playing on a certain television show. Then, after being married for a while, the topics change, and become less and less discussed. Such examples of this would be, a man asking his wife if she would drop the kids off at school because he is going to be late for a meeting at work. One may be a wife asking a husband to make dinner for himself; she will be at their daughter’s dance class. Often losing the effortless communication we once had with each other makes those thoughts we once had seem like useless thoughts now. When one spouse finds out from a relative by accident that the other spouse should have told us something, it make us emotionally hurt inside. Communication without and barriers is a key to a successful marriage in today’s modern world.

Easy Steps to Save a Failing Marriage

A marriage is the pinnacle and embodiment of the love between two people as they will spend their time together and be in constant contact with one another. Whilst this is intended to be a reflection of the love and trust between them, for many people this constant exposure to one another can be stressful and as the old adage goes: “familiarity breeds content.” Stress and traumatic events can poison the relationship between spouses, turning love and affection into bickering hostility and it is imperative that the spouses act in order to prevent the damage from escalating into something permanent and irreversible.If you want to save a failing marriage then the first crucial step is to initiate communication between the spouses in an emotionally neutral manner, free of blame or anger. The spouses should be able to feel secure and comfortable enough to express their true feelings without any need to conceal or dilute them, because if they mask their emotions then the underlying issues cannot be resolved. This is a process that must be handled with a great deal of caution because if it is not then the there is a very good chance that there will be more harm than good caused and the issues identified during these dialogue sessions may end up alienating the parties even further.Once the problems have been identified then the spouses should work towards trying to resolve them in so far as is reasonable and achievable. This may include a more equal division of labour, spending more time together, an opportunity for the spouses to be more intimate among others. That said, whatever end goals are identified should always be with the mutual consent of both spouses, if objectives and goals are forced upon a spouse then this will only create resentment.More often than not, a spouse just feels unappreciated and undervalued. When trying to juggle career pressures along with a young family, this means that there can be very little time left over to spend with our nearest and dearest and so if you want to save a failing marriage then you may want to give some thought to spending more time with your spouse. Show them that you care, and that you are thinking about them whether this is by a romantic dinner, buying them flowers or giving them sort of treat.

Saving My Marriage by Pulling it Together

If you really want to save your marriage from ending then it’s time for you to pull it together. It’s very difficult to watch a marriage that was strong for so long just simply fall apart. It’s very heartbreaking for friends and family alike to see the two of you going in different directions. If you don’t want that to happen to your marriage, then it’s time to pull it together.Time-Out – Take a moment to stop, catch your breath and take a step back from the situation. I don’t mean take a break from your situation but to step back to calm down. It doesn’t take much for things to get overheated. Now is the time to give yourself a personal time-out. Before you do anything, step back, take a deep breath and try to relax before taking any action. When you use this as an opportunity to reduce or remove your anger, then you can truly start to communicate and take the next step to help save your marriage.Try To Understand What Is Happening – While on your time-out, take a look at what is happening. Now is the time to look at the big picture and then look at it from your spouse’s or an outsiders perspective. From your point of view it may seem bad but from there point of view it is not so bad. By looking at it from another point of view you might find out why things have gotten so out of control and you may find that the solution is relatively simple.Look for the root of the problem – By understand what is happening you can follow it back to it’s beginning to how it took root in the first place. You may find that the problem is really relatively small and as such something that you can easily overcome to save your marriage.If your goal is saving my marriage, then by pulling it together and taking these three steps then you might just bring back what really belongs together…the two of you.

How to Save Your Marriage – What You Can Do to Make Your Spouse Fall in Love With You Again

It’s a bitter truth that the spontaneous, all consuming love and infatuation leading to a marriage ends sooner or later. While some people think it’s a “loss of love” overall, what it in fact is the realization of the transition from a simple, superficial, “lust” to a much deeper level of loving. I have been in this situation and was nearly losing my marriage over it.It’s crucial that you make your spouse understand this.Bringing Back LoveOne of the key steps on how to save your marriage by bringing back love is that you stop being negative, depressed and needy. Do not say things such as “it was all my fault”, “I must be the world’s worst spouse”. Be self-confident and strong. This will not only make you a lot more attractive, the power of thinking positive will make YOU more positive as well.Physical and Emotional TouchWhen you tell someone that you appreciate what they did, they like this very much – and when it comes to marriages, it’s all those small things that build up and matter. When your spouse does something positive, even the smallest of things, show your appreciation, don’t hold yourself back.Physical affection is another very important point in saving your marriage. A brief, warm hug can and will make wonders in making your spouse remember the real and deep love associated to being a married couple, facing difficult problems in life every day.Take Care of YourselfYes, you are married but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to look good to your spouse. Over time you might have become insensitive to the feelings your spouse has towards you, which makes you care less about your physical appearance. As a famous chef once said – “people always eat with their eyes first”. So whatever reaction your spouse will give to you for any matter will be AFTER his/her brain will filter the thoughts according to its interpretation of how good you are looking.

8 Dirty Secrets to Foreplay BEFORE You Enter the Room

You’re an adult…of COURSE you know what foreplay is. You have some background with the female anatomy. You realize that even though your rocket ship is ready to launch with as little as a 2 second thought about sex, she needs stimulation.Remember when you got her REALLY hot and bothered? Sure there has been good sex and great sex. I’m sure that even with minimal foreplay and a steamy encounter, you’ve managed to have great sex.Here’s a tip on how to have GREAT and even “Off the Chart” phenomenal sex. Surprise! It has nothing to do with your endowment or your breath (although that helps) No, stud…the secret to having phenomenal sex is 100% psychological.Men think with their penis and women think with their heart. In order for you two to connect and really have a satisfying sex life, you HAVE to speak to her heart.Below are 8 surefire ideas to get her hot and bothered BEFORE you enter the room. Once you do any number of these, prepare to be attacked by a very passionate lady.1. Leave post-it notes around the room that are ROMANTIC. Profess your undying love, dedication, and attraction to her. Leave out your penis size please. Think “Chick Flick” not porn here. Proper words and gestures are critical to cracking the female mind.2. Send her flowers for NO reason whatsoever. Statistics show that 99.3% of all flower orders are for a specific occasion or season. Less than 1% of studs out there realize that a $25 flower arrangement “just because” has more power than a month supply of that “blue pill.”3. Tell one of her friends how much you adore her and love her. Don’t be obvious here. Next time you are at a party or event and you find yourself talking to one of her friends, mention how lucky you are and how you put your girl on a pedestal. Word will get back to your squeeze and hello, she’ll be all over you!4. Do a chore around the house WITHOUT being asked. Next time the game comes on and you are all set to relax and watch your favorite team pound the daylights out of their rivals, take a moment and PURPOSELY miss the first 4-5 minutes of the game. Pick one of your honey-do items and get it done. (You’ve already set the Tivo-right?) When she sees that you’ve sacrificed even a few minutes of your favorite past time for her, she’ll melt.5. Ask her about her day and REALLY listen. I know…this may be pretty tough, but give it a try. She might not instantly want to jump in the sack, but the long term effects will surely begin. Don’t try to solve ANY problem she talks about. Just listen, nod your head, and act like a girl. She won’t think you’ve gone gay, buddy. But she will be shocked at your metrosexual understanding and compassion.6. Schedule one-on-one time with your kids. This has the added benefit of actually being fun! You get serious double points for taking one of your daughters shopping or your son to the zoo. When your bride sees a pro-active father, their confidence and security goes up. It really melts her heart. Don’t ever talk about how cool you are, by the way. It dilutes the sincerity of what you are suppposed to do anyway, you workaholic!7. Draw a bubble bath, leave rose petals on the bedroom floor, light some candles and get out of the way! When you set up that relaxing and romantic atmosphere you should NOT expect to get lucky. She can smell that set up a mile away. Just PAMPER her! If you honestly do not expect to get any action from this sanctuary of peace, you are MORE likely to actually get it! Any anticipated “payback” makes the gesture seem cheap and contrived.8. Send her (and a female friend for bonus points) to a spa for 1/2 or full day. If you have the means, don’t put any restriction on the services or amount they can spend. This gesture is a 100% home run for your sex life. She will come back feeling and looking sexier than ever. If you are on a budget, ask her what she wants but has never done. If that mud massage or facial is something she’s only dreamed about, make her dream come true. (Depending on your skills, do what you can to get that FULL wax job on her. You will both benefit from that service, I guarantee it!)Get the idea, Chuck? When you are sincere, generous, and a little bit more in touch with the feminine mind, you will melt her heart even when you are not around. Speaking her language is the key to increased connection in your relationship and more satisfying sex. Most women have HUGE sex drives and tremendous passion. Your key to unlocking it is simply to take your time, be generous, and be gentle. Relax, my friend….she will be begging for you nightly before you know it.

Save Your Troubled Marriage Today and Build Trust Now

Today you can make the decision to save your troubled marriage. It will be a process but if you begin to build trust now it is possible to save your marriage today.Marriage success comes from a variety of elements in proper balance. Trust in marriage is indispensable for a proper foundation to be built. Build trust now and maintain it forever. It is easier to build and maintain than it is to rebuild trust in a marriage.Things come and go in life. No matter what it is cars, houses, toys, they are all intended to be temporary. Your relationship with your spouse is your single greatest asset and should be treated with that level of respect and dignity.Relationships should begin with a certain amount of intrinsic trust in the beginning. If you begin a relationship questioning whether or not you can trust your partner chances are you can’t and you should follow your intuition. If nothing else move cautiously forward until you better understand if your concerns are legitimate or not.Maintaining trust requires transparency and openness with your spouse. Your intentions and motivations should be clear. There may be times that a spouse would question your desires or motivations and you should have enough trust and respect to treat each other with kindness and reassurance if that is what they are asking for.It takes both people to maintain trust. It only takes one partner to destroy it. People are human, if a mistake occurs it is far better to address it than to stuff it and hope that it never surfaces again. Covering mistakes with lies would only perpetuate the mistake and it can only get worse.If your relationship has broken down don’t despair. One person taking the initiative to make positive changes can make the difference in a relationship but you may not be able to do it alone. With the proper assistance you will be on your way quickly to restoring trust in your relationship and experiencing marriage success. One person has the ability to affect change in a marriage and begin to save a troubled marriage. Make that decision today.

A Delve Into Interracial Marriages

The topic of interracial marriage has been one filled with different sentiments both negative and positive. Interracial associations like marriages are marred with many difficulties. There are two main views about these marriages and the first one is the Egalitarianism view.This is one that accepts or finds no fault with this kind of union while the one that seeks to disagree is the cultural conservatism view. The former is a view of many young people while the older people in society are rather conservative with this regard.It has been a long road in many countries of the world to accept interracial marriage as a form that can work and succeed. Although many countries still disregard it. In the United States, a court ruling in 1967 in a landmark case set the stage for interracial freedom to marry.The Loving v. Virginia case paved the way for more liberal views on interracial marriages all over the world. In Nazi Germany, it was illegal for Germans to marry people from different races. Also, during the apartheid era in South Africa, whites were not allowed to mingle with blacks in this way.Therefore, the world has come a long way. This is a time in history when the number of interracial marriages has gone up. People have integrated in different platforms and for this reason, they have come to understand and appreciate different cultures well. After all, we are living in a global village. It is an exciting time to mingle with the world thanks to fast communication tools like the Internet and other technological advancements. However, having said this, there are many people who still hold conservative views.If you are a person who is married or dating a person of a different race, you know fast hand some of the challenges that are rife. Anne, a black African immigrant who got married to Anthony, a white man she met in Atlanta United States, has had to live through hell over the past two years.Her parents in law have labelled her openly as a gold digger many times. She is constantly reminded that her marriage was to secure herself in the country and to get citizenship. It is not uncommon that many races especially those who are not well up economically to get looked down upon.If you are preparing to get married to a person of a different race, it is important for you to be prepared. You might step on many toes through your action and even be the target in many instances. For example, in the Arab world, many Muslim men and women who marry outside their jurisdiction face execution.I’m talking about honour killings from relatives to preserve the law of the book. It is never an easy road but as they say, love can blind people. The bottom line is that we are all human beings who have the power to give love and receive love no matter the race, status, religion and other major barriers. To be happy, you have no choice but to follow your heart.

Playfulness in Marriage

Most couples find it easy to do things together but find playing together a tedious and a difficult task. This has made romance difficult for them because playfulness is the foundation of romance. You can never be romantic unless you are playful and you cannot be romantic and be too serious. Please try to loosen up a little.Couples should spend time together, playing and relaxing. They should spend time to be in their own world enjoying the best of time.Children do enjoy the best of time playing together. The best way my little boy can ‘punish’ me if I offend him is to say “Daddy, I will not play with you again”. Little children do appreciate the wonders of playing together; they love you when you are their playmate.Playing should be part of our family life. It create a sense of friendship and brotherhood. It create closeness, intimacy and bonding. It also brings out the best in us and make us to enjoy the best time, thus profiting our life.When you see two young people in love, they are fond of doing lots of things together such as playing, visiting good places, strolling together, observing nature, appreciating the beauty of the sky, watch the ocean, spending time at the beach; thereby enjoying their lives and moments. Immediately after the wedding, most couples fails to continue this act but concentrates on making a living and raising their children. That is the beginning of difficult family life and decline in their love life.Couples that wants a strong family life should make playing together a business.

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