When you are married, you would certainly like to enjoy your time with your husband. But how can you enjoy when he is sad? When your husband is not happy, you can easily also cross the boundary and become negative. Your life will be closely intertwined with your husband’s, and his sadness will make you wonder where you are messing things up.It is necessary for you to find ways of how to make your husband happy once more. This means that you will need to understand what makes him unhappy in the first place. Here are important tips that will help you to remove the sadness from your husband.Have quality time togetherMarriage comes with a lot of responsibilities that can leave you with hardly any time together. You may have to take care of children. Then career also has to be considered. In the process, you may find yourselves gradually turning into strangers who happen to share the same space.As you take care of your other responsibilities, your husband will feel that you neglect him. That is why sometimes husbands feel some jealousy towards their own children. This does not mean that your husband does not like his own kids. What he misses is your company.You should therefore make your schedule such that you have some quality time alone, preferably every week. Leave your kids with either family members or friends to strengthen the bond between you.Be happy yourselfHappiness begets happiness. If you would like to make your husband happy, you should make yourself happy first of all. In case you find that you have too many responsibilities to carry out on your own, consider hiring some help. Otherwise, you can easily get frustrated.Unfortunately, since it is your husband who is closest to you, he is the one who will bear the brunt of your frustration. You should therefore find a suitable way of venting your frustration without making your husband a victim.Take measures that will help you to be happy if you want to make your husband happy as well. Have some spare time to renew your energy. Be happy, even if you have to leave some responsibilities.The things that you say and do will have a great impact on your marriage. If you say or act wrongly, you will be pushing your husband away. Yet it is through your words and actions that you can also make your husband happy.
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The qualities of a healthy marriage for one couple may be totally different than they are for the next. What really matters is that your marriage has the right mix of qualities that are right for the two of you. If you feel you may be missing something, you may want to look at the values you and your spouse share or possibly do not share. Shared values are important because if you are not on the same page resentment may start to creep into your daily lives.When I first started my online business, I don’t think my husband was really on board with my idea. He was happy with the status quo and not ready to give up some of the time that the two of us were spending together. Educating my husband about the value of running your own business quickly turned his mind around and helped him understand the value that I hold in owning my own business. Is my spouse as excited about my business as I am, no, but he understands that value that I uphold in becoming an entrepreneur.Whether or not to have children is also a value that many couples may disagree on. Too many times you see a wife decide to get pregnant in a last ditch attempt to save a troubled marriage and most of the time this last ditch effort fails. Children are a big step for a couple to take and discussing the right time to have a child is extremely important in order to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page. My husband and I have decided that if children happen, then it was meant to be and we have been on that same page from the start. This is a value that the two of us have always shared.
How long has your husband been ignoring you? Has it been months, years, or even decades? I hope it is not that long, because that is really not a way that two people should go through their lives. If it has been that long, think back to a time before your husband started ignoring you. What was different in your marriage? I’m not saying that the change which occurred is the cause of your problems, but it could have been the start of some behavior that would have caused your husband to retreat back into his protective shell where he can no longer be damaged.Did your husband start ignoring you soon after you had children? Were you the the one that stayed home with the kids after they were born? Then it is more than likely that you were craving for adult conversation by the time your man walked through the door. You were so starving for it that the minute the door handle turned, you jumped up and started telling him everything that happened in your day. Meanwhile, your husband just wanted 15 to 30 minutes to unwind and switch from work mode to home mode after work.As you were talking your husband’s ear off, he was ignoring you. Just going about his business of taking the coat off, putting his briefcase away, and opening the mail. I’m sure you can see where this is going now. He was switching from work to home mode because he’s not good at multitasking and you were talking to him about stuff that happened at home. He can’t process what you are saying because his mind hasn’t switched yet so he’s ignoring you; then you get mad because it appears that your husband doesn’t care about what happened during your day. A mean and nasty fight occurs and your husband retreats just a little into his shell.After a couple of months of this occurring, your husband starts to think just plain ignoring you is better that fighting with you, so he never comes out of his shell. You try to ask him what’s wrong, he states nothing because he doesn’t want to fight. The more you ask, the further he retreats. It’s a never ending cycle unless one or both of you chooses to change it.
It’s amazing how many women are on the verge of being wingspouses, but just don’t know where to begin. They know the value of having one parent stay home, and yet they want the challenges and victories of a career, too. While many women are capable and willing to partner with their spouses, they can’t figure out how to get started. In many cases, they don’t know where to start because they don’t know how to apply their own skill set to the career they wish to share. They haven’t embraced their own “See – E – O” role.SEE (See and learn what he does): When any good CEO evaluates a job opportunity, he looks up the mission statement, the CEO bio, and and any other information that reveals information about how the company operates. He becomes familiar with the potential company. It’s no different for the wingspouse in training. A wingspouse cannot know how she can best serve until she knows what her spouse does and why he does it. This takes time. The executive husband must be observed to gain a better understanding of his duties, responsibilities, and his mission – not superficially, but intimately – so that she understands when something applies to him and when it doesn’t.E (Evaluate his needs): A successful CEO surveys the needs of the company to determine how his skill set may serve those needs. He understands he can’t meet all of their needs, and that he is most successful focusing his attention where he is the strongest. A wingspouse should do the same. She may not be able to plan next year’s budget, but can she spot a good article on creative staffing when she stumbles across it? She may not work in his HR department, but is she exposed to a lot of people and could she spot a good candidate if she met one? She may not have the ability to propose a new product line, but does she have the knowledge base necessary to introduce her spouse to new technology, needs or practices as they develop?Even beyond identifying general needs within her spouse’s role, a wingspouse should begin identifying areas where her spouse is less proficient. Within those areas, a wingspouse can enhance her partner where she excels. If, for example, a spouse is weak in written communication, the wingspouse may be well-suited to assist in written communication or editing. If a spouse is not comfortable in a social setting, the wingspouse may keep turn on her social charm. Where a wingspouse has an area of expertise (technologies, social media, broadcasting, accounting, etc.), she may be well-suited to give instruction or assistance as it is applicable. A wingspouse partnership should be a custom fit.O (Offer her services): By the time a CEO submits his resume or CV, he already knows what he has to offer. He has pinpointed one or two areas where he could improve on what they currently have and he’s ready to present his worth if they ask. Perhaps there is a difference here with the wingspouse approach. Most executive spouses would never ask. This is not to say that they don’t want such a partnership, but they don’t know it’s available. Not only is the concept new, but those who already embrace the concept rarely recognize how unique they truly are. They only know it works for them and they’re happy.If an executive wife wants to evolve into a wingspouse, she has to be the one to initiate. She has to stay informed, show a genuine interest in her spouse’s daily operations, and seize the opportunity to participate when it arises. A good starting point may be simply sharing magazine articles, news clippings, or internet sites that may interest her spouse. Each offering should be carefully evaluated by the wingspouse to determine if she was truly helpful or missing the mark. Slowly, the wingspouse will learn where she can best participate, and the spouse will begin to appreciate her contributions and even invite them.The critical piece is the spouse’s willingness to embrace this team concept. If a spouse is not willing to talk about the intricacies of his job, or does not trust his partner to keep information confidential, then the true wingspouse benefits cannot be realized. However, if he is willing to open the door to her, the two can form a symbiotic relationship that will unite them beyond meals and children. Their relationship will becomes a partnership in marriage AND career, where together they realize the successes of both.
Marriage can sometimes turn unhappy for couples that are involved. This can be a time of uncertainty, disappointment and there seems no reconciliation for any of it does there? But what if it can come back you, as you pluck out the pain and give yourselves a fresh start? One that you can never imagine?The causes for unhappiness may be due to infidelity, sexless marriage, no affection or lack of communication. Goals may be different and apparent with couples involved. Although, as you turn to realize that you are not alone in this, then there is still a way that you can fix your marriage and save if for the better. Perhaps, if you give your situation a different approach and give yourself a new aspect in life to turn it around, than your luck may turn for the better.The will of wanting and doing something about your unhappy marriage is important during these times. Confusion and the uncertainty of it all can drive you both simply crazy. But with a little patience and proper guidance you can see it though completely. Apply the right methods an strategic procedures to improve your marriage is most important and keen for it longevity and survival.Unhappiness in a marriage can create distrust between both people and this distrust can only grow like a wild fire, until a disaster comes out of it and strikes you both down. Don’t live with such an uncertainty. As you approach a new method of handling an unhappy marriage, then you will be able to see how to better interact with your spouse and attain the level of quality one can only expect form a happy and prosperous marriage. Learn how to fix a relationship and marriage effectively.
If you want to save your marriage, I wish to consider you a friend. There are too many people divorcing – statistics say 87% of all marriages fail. It’s just too easy to say, “well, this marriage doesn’t work” and choose the easy road of divorce. Striving to maintain, or save a marriage is much more noble than simply accepting the divorce. I wish there were more people like you.Another reason I want to consider you my friend is; that I have been in the same situation myself. I know how horrible it can feel that your marriage and relationship is ending. I know of the sacrifices you have made for the marriage and the sadness of seeing it all end. I know that terrible feeling of a divorce that is closing in.But it’s not the time to be desperate and feel devastated. Those will only blur your judgment, and will prevent you from doing the right things to save your marriage. Being desperate will make you do things that might harm your marriage even further – such as crying in front of your spouse or begging to your spouse to reconsider the thought of divorce.And this is one of the key advices I can give you on how to save your marriage. Straighten your life and cast out the cloudy visions – I have saved my marriage from the most desperate of situations and am fairly confident that ALL marriages can be saved, whatever the problem.You just have to do the right actions and avoid things such as begging. Really – the fate of your marriage rests on your actions only.
We know that couples are in a good space when they are thinking positively about each other and about their marriage.Spouses who think about their marriage as something good in their lives also report greater degrees of happiness. The will give their partner the “benefit of the doubt”, not jump to conclusions about mistakes that they have made and overall notice what is good about their spouse rather than what is bad.These marriages may have the same ups and downs that all marriages have; however, spouses see these as “normal” or surmountable rather than crippling or devastating for the marriage.Here are a few suggestions for how you might maintain that positive attitude about your marriage.* Use “pet names” for each other that are loving and respectful…and private.Write in a gratitude journal every night. List together 3 things that you like and appreciate about your marriage.* Begin a “Journey Journal”. Periodically spend some time recording the events that have occurred in your lives together. Reread it every year on your anniversary or on New Year’s Eve and together set one or two goals for the relationship for the year.* Look at your wedding album on your anniversary along with pictures from a few of your favorite trips or experiences. Remind yourself of how much you liked and appreciated each other and how much you value the friendship.Thinking differently about your spouse also makes a difference.Susie recently told me that she noticed a big difference in her happiness with her husband when she stopped complaining about him to her friends. She just decided that she wanted to experiment with letting go of her complaints and either say nothing or talk about something nice that he did or something that she liked about him. Susie said that she was shocked to find the difference that it made in her and in her feelings about Tom.Have you heard the old saying “what you look for is what you get”? This seems to be even more true in relationships. When you focus on the problems, irritations or “weaknesses” in your spouse, you are much more likely to notice them even more and develop more negative feelings about him or her. When you recognize all that he or she brings to the marriage … feelings of appreciation and warmth emerge.Just for today, notice what you like. As you notice these things, make sure to let your spouse know that you notice and appreciate him or her. Pay attention to what happens.
One of the reasons why couples decide to get married is because they want to spend more time together. As soon as the honeymoon is over, the demands of daily life hit you from every direction and it becomes very difficult to spend some time together. The demands could be work related and this makes it very difficult to have enough time for your family and spouse. The demands of life do not go away, they are continuous, waxing and waning and you can’t simply wish them away.One of the forces which may come between you and your spouse are children. If you want to protect your relationship you cannot afford to sit down and wait for the inevitable. One effective method of protecting your marriage is by attending the weekend marriage seminars.The most common sponsors of the marriage seminars are churches but they can also sponsored by various psychological groups. Marriage seminars sponsored by churches usually stress spirituality. Marriage seminars sponsored by psychological groups usually stress the use of mediation tools. All these weekend seminars have the same benefits its only that they apply different methodology to reach the same goal.When you go for the marriage seminars, all the distractions which usually come your way are removed. These distractions include; phones, bosses, children, and family and debt collectors.The marriage seminars also help you meet other married couples. Sometimes we tend to lose track of our friends because we are so wrapped up in our daily live. The attending couples in the seminars are allowed to meet other couples who are experiencing the same problems as they are. In order to heal and grow you need to share your problems with other couples so that you can share insights. When you hear what other couples have been able to overcome it becomes some source of inspiration.Whether the marriage seminar is spiritual or meditative the couples are reminded the important aspect of taking some time to breath. This helps stimulate and bring your marriage back to life. There are various classes offered during these seminars such as; trust building activities, individual counseling, group counseling and various activities with other married couples.The marriage seminars will provide you with a free look at your marriage and relationship which is very important. The main reason why many marriages break is because of lack of communication. The whole idea of the marriage seminars is to try and open up communication within the marriage.
We generally have eight types of criticism, each of which is potent enough to destroy any marriage if care is not taken.Internal Criticism: This is the foundation of all other forms of criticism. It starts when you begin to feel disconnected about your spouse actions, reactions, habits, attitude, outlook, dressing, cooking, communication style, family members, friends, job, lifestyles, etc. At this stage, no open comment will be made to anybody about it. It will just be in one’s mind, but it will be affecting one’s reactions to ones mates, unconsciously.Open Criticism: This involves criticizing your spouse to his face, though between the two of you. You may think you are correcting your spouse but you will end up criticizing him or her, for there is a thin line between correction and criticizing. When you correct without love you end up criticizing your mate. Although you may be saying the truth but with the absence of love and respect criticism is not a far fetch. If you want to correct your spouse do it with love, care, and respect.Third Party Criticism: This involved criticizing your mate in the presence of others when your spouse is not there. It is a sign of immaturity and it aids quick destruction of marriage. Irrespective of whom the person you are talking to, there is no third party interference. Criticizing your spouse to third party will increase your bitterness towards your mate.Public Criticism: It involves you criticizing your spouse in his or her presence openly. It may be in the presence of the children, friends, family members, neighbors or colleagues. It is another sign of immaturity and a fast lane to family destruction.Household Criticism: Before a criticism will grow to public level, it will first grow to household level, whereby the spouse has been criticized and chastised in the presence of children and housemaids. This is very common among couples and it is a bad example for the children.Running Criticism: When criticism involves nagging then it is called a running criticism. It means a criticism that has been repeated over and over. It is like a cancer in the body of a family life, it can destroy any home if it is not carefully handle.Habitual Criticism: This is when criticism has become a habit of both or one of the couple; anyone who experiences such attributes has a critical spirit. Nothing moves nor satisfies such individual. They believe only in their own opinion.Counter Criticism: This can become habitual too. It involve a situation whereby the party being criticized becomes defensive or combative, thus seeking means to counter the criticism. When marriage get to this level it is very dangerous as it will go to the last level.Cycle Criticism: This is the most dangerous level of criticism; this involves both partners in a relationship. In the other types of criticism, it may involve one partner that is critical, but in this case, it involves both parties. Although, the other party might have learned to criticize as a form of self-defense from the critical partner, but it ends up becoming his/her habit too. What we have in cycle criticism is criticism and counter criticism. Therefore, this crazy cycle will continue until the more mature among the couple allows sanity to prevail. Thereby deepens the family crises which might eventually consume the home.
If you don’t accept divorce and are asking yourself “how do I save my marriage”, I feel very strongly for you – because I have been in that horrible situation. I know how painful it is to see your marriage end – my husband wanted a divorce and I couldn’t even consider it. And my marriage was ending.No – I loved him, and I loved my marriage, with its pains and bumps along the road, so I wanted to save my marriage. I wasn’t in the best state of mind to think of ways to repair a marriage, but I wanted to stop my divorce. The things I thought of doing – and did in the end -, however, weren’t very bright things, such as “act good” and if that doesn’t work “act bad” – one had to work to fix my marriage, right? Let’s fast forward to the current time – I would say “I have saved my marriage” but it would be a big, big understatement! My spouse now loves me more than he ever did and, hey – cheer up, you can do this to save YOUR marriage too! To share my experiences, I created a web page. But before I tell you the address, here are two very strong tips for you to save your marriage.Stop Begging: This is a fundamental one that’s unfortunately hard to do when you are desperate to save your marriage. You should never beg to your spouse for your marriage because it violates the “people want what they can’t have” rule. By begging your spouse, you are only making yourself “easier to have” for him, and this works against you.Be Absent. No, this doesn’t meant that you should leave home and be absent for a month. Just do not be in front of, or visible to, your spouse for the whole day. For example you can get out somewhere with friends and return only when it’s evening, If it is Sunday.