Is your marriage in trouble? If it was, would you know? Do you know how to spot the warning signs? A troubled marriage can sometimes appear normal on the surface, but there can be trouble brewing deep down.The first thing to do is to ask yourself how often you have sex. Although sex is not the only aspect to a marriage, if you are having sex less than you used to then this can be a strong indicator that things aren’t quite what they once were.Often, sex can become less important after a baby has been born. For every child that comes into a family, the more difficult it then becomes for the couple to spend time alone being intimate.But also, another sign is how much affection you show each other throughout the day. A couple that is very much in love will often touch each other in passing, or one of you will randomly kiss the other on the cheek for no reason.Another sign is common courtesy. If you find yourself saying “please” and “thank you” to strangers throughout the day more than you would your partner, then there is surely something going wrong.But the great thing is, if you notice these things have started to go wrong in your relationship, it’s not too late to make them better. All you have to do is pay extra special attention to them and take things back more to how they once were. Then you may start to find that your relationship as a whole begins to fall back into place.
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Yes, you can stop your divorce in its tracks. It doesn’t have to end because you’re out of ideas for saving it. You can get help with marriage problems that can steer you in the right direction for salvaging and saving your marriage. But you have to be open-minded and willing.The hardest cases of failed marriages are from people with closed minds and uncompromising beliefs, and unforgiving hearts. These barriers have to be broken down in order for a marriage to be a success.Pride has to be left at the doorstep as well, there’s just no room for it between two people who have to reach the level of intimacy of a couple in a successful marriage relationship.If you’re willing to get help with marriage problems, then you can stop your divorce in its infancy, before it becomes chiseled in stone, or signed onto paper. By caring enough for your partner to listen to some good advice, you can come away a winner.Many times the problem blind-sides them, and they aren’t equipped to deal with it when it comes. First of all, realize that you’re not the only one, and just because you never thought you and your spouse would have those problems, be sure that no-one is immune.So stop your divorce in its tracks. Get help with marriage problems. Be a success story and not a failure. Take pride in your ability to cope with problems, and to love your mate. Be forgiving and understanding and the quality of your marriage will rise. You have everything to gain by learning how to fix your marriage without having to go through more arguments, slamming doors and days of tense atmosphere.
A happy and successful marriage will have things such as honesty and good communication between the spouses and it goes without saying that trust is extremely vital as well. If the bond of trust between the parties is broke then this means that the relationship has suffered a devastating blow to its integrity as well and this can often spell out the ultimate demise of the relationship. The spouse who has been betrayed will have a hard time recovering from the breach of trust committed by their partner and the spouse who has broken the trust will no doubt struggle to process the enormity of what they have done.Whilst we tend to associate a breach of marital trust with the likes of infidelity or having an affair, not all affairs manifest themselves in the guise of another human and many marital partners suffer from personal demons in another guise: addictive personality. Coming to terms with living with a partner who suffers from an addiction is an extremely traumatic affair and one that many spouses will suffer to come to grips with. Many feel resentment and outright anger towards the addicted spouse, blaming them for being “weak” and for their inability to resist temptation that comes their way.The truth of the matter is that no one ever willfully chooses to be an addict. The allure of addiction is that the addiction provides a means of temporary relief and salvation from the problems and stresses suffered by the addict. Of course, such relief and succor is temporary and is quickly overshadowed by the consequences and ramifications of the addiction whether this is down to risks to health, wealth or legal status.It is important that regardless of your own personal feelings towards your spouse that they enroll in a support network and group in order to help them overcome their particular addiction. Make sure that you are there with them every step of the way, because a major stressful event such as a divorce or separation maybe enough to tip them over the edge into a full blown mental breakdown.Addicts rely on their addiction to provide them with some degree of comfort, therefore the onus falls on the supporting spouse to show that they can provide an equivalent degree of support and emotional stability for the addict spouse. Do not give up hope and do not write off your spouse as a lost cause.
I think that anybody who’s marriage is in trouble would like to see things worked out. There are so many problems, both financial and emotional, that come with divorce that surely isn’t a good first choice.Unfortunately, lots of strength, emotional and physical, is needed to fix things up. This is especially true if your husband suffers from depression. The emotional and physical stress is so great that a lot of women just give up and look to get out of it.In this article I offer three pieces of advice for women who’s marriage is in trouble because of the husband’s depression. Read it and implement the ideas so you’ll be able to lead a much happier life.1. Do what you have done before. The best advice that I, or ANYONE else, can give someone who’s marriage is in trouble is to remember what you have done in the past. Your husband’s depression probably isn’t something new. The severity might be new but probably he had bouts of “sadness” even before you concluded that your marriage is in trouble. And if you are still married then the depression did weaken.Don’t waste your time and energy to “reinvent the wheel”. Firstly it is not worth the effort. Secondly, if it worked once, it will probably work again. Even if the situation has changed since the last time, you can use what you used in the past as a base and “tweak” it to make it appropriate for the present situation.2. Take care of yourself. When your husband is depressed it surely takes a heavy toll on you. He might not help with the kids, can’t hold a job down (so you have to support the family), offer you NO support, and constantly blame you for his situation and put you down.You need all the strength that you can muster in order not to fall apart. Go to the gym. Go out to eat or go out to the movies with friends. Lock yourself in a room and read a book.THIS IS NOT BEING SELFISH. I repeat, “THIS IS NOT BEING SELFISH.” If your marriage is in trouble, it will take strength to save it. If you fall apart, then your children will suffer and well as your husband. Therefore take care of yourself.3. Convince him to get help. This DOES NOT mean to just “drop the bomb” and bluntly tell him, “Dear, I think that you need help.” This surely won’t help! (as I’m sure you know.)A simple, and very effective, formula to use is (1) only mention facts (no labels) (2) make clear what you are not hinting to, and (3) then to say what you want to say (as gently as you can say it, but enough to get your point across).Meaning: You don’t call him lazy, inconsiderate, or self centered. You only say what you saw. For instance, “I see that you haven’t gotten up before 12:30 for the past month.”After that you say something to the effect of, “I’m not saying that you are lazy or that you don’t care about the family.”Only after that can you say, “Therefore what do think can help you here?” If he says, “Nothing, it will work itself out. Just give it time and don’t rush me”, then you can suggest that you don’t agree and that and suggest that he sees someone (or to do something else to overcome his depression).Dealing with a depressed husband isn’t easy. However, it also doesn’t mean that you have to run to divorce that might be “jumping from the frying pan into the fire”.Begin with these 3 ideas and stay strong until you once again begin to have a happy marriage.
The other day, I received an email from a wife who said that she could feel her and her husband “drifting apart in our marriage.” However, when she tried to talk to her husband about this, he became defensive and asked her how she could expect for things to be exactly the same after so many years together. He assured her that it was normal for there to be a cooling off and that “everything was fine.” However, the wife didn’t buy this. Everything did not feel fine. She wanted to know if she should keep pressing the “drifting apart issue” or just let it go. I’ll tell you what I told her in the following article.Why You Should Not Ignore It When You Feel Yourself “Drifting Apart” From Your Spouse: From my own experience and from my research, I know first hand and with all confidence that the first blow to a marriage is often lessening intimacy and connection. This is the start of the cracks beginning to show. And, if you ignore it and don’t address it, those cracks are going to spread, get bigger, and then deepen and will therefore will be harder to contain and patch.A couple who are deeply bonded and are feeling intimate toward each other are going to have a much easier time navigating what life throws their way. Because they care deeply about what the other person is feeling, they’re much more willing to work harder and give more. That’s why it’s so important to retain a close and unbreakable bond and “drifting apart” is most definitely a weakening of this.Don’t Push The Drifting Apart Issue If Your Spouse Is Resistant. Work On It From Your Own Angle: With these thing said, if your spouse is denying any problem, then there is really no reason for you to continue to dwell on it. You can make big changes, all by yourself. Start by controlling what you can, which are, first and foremost, your own actions. You don’t have to come on too strong or be too obvious, but you can begin to prioritize spending quality time with your spouse.So many of us expect to feel very intimate with our spouses and yet we do not put in the kind of time that would make that so. When we were dating, we only showed them the best of ourselves, we listened intently when they talked, and we made it our mission in life to know exactly how they were feeling and what was important to them. As a result, we were rewarded with feeling extremely close.However, with the passage of time, we start to lose our grip. Other obligations begin to invade and we can no longer put in the same kind of time. As more time passes and nothing bad seems to happen, then we slip a little more. And then one day we wake up to find that we’ve “drifted apart” but we don’t connect the dots. We don’t see the correlation between the lack of time and effort and the lack of intimacy. But, you can most certainly change this and you can start today, with yourself.Begin by trying to focus more on your spouse. Really listen to what they are saying. Ask open ended questions. Ask yourself how you can support them and lighten their load and then do it. You don’t need to explain anything to them. Just start acting like the caring and involved spouse that you, yourself, would want.As you begin to get positive results from this, then naturally more time together will follow. This time together will strengthen your bond and draw you closer together. When you were dating, I’ll bet you found all sorts of activities that you enjoyed together. It didn’t need to cost a lot of money and it didn’t require a lot of planning. It was enjoyable because they were with you. Your goal should be to create this again. It truly isn’t as insurmountable as you might think. You have to willing. You have to be open. And you have to put in the time and effort. Today is the day. There is no time like the present. So stop feeling the drift and start feeling the pull.
Confrontation is one of the only methods to stop your divorce by. You should confront your marriage relationship problems head-on. You must face these problems and address them, together. It takes both sides communicating feelings and ideas in order to discover the best route for solving these problems.Whenever problems are left unresolved, they are like picking up a thorn in the yard that doesn’t get pulled out. Every now and then they’re going to hurt again, and get buried a little deeper, until the problem is more painful, and harder to fix. They should always be addressed immediately.And don’t let having marriage relationship problems lead you to believe that your marriage is just wrong, or too late to save. You can stop your divorce by recognizing that marriage has no set rules for anybody, but only deep love, true forgiveness, and a commitment to the marriage are going to save it.By taking a calm look, alone as well as together, and talking about the things that make it hard, you can find ways to ease your partner’s pain, and make it better for them. This is something that marriage partners sometimes forget, and that is to prefer the other’s happiness over your own. It’s a hard concept, but it really works for your own happiness more than it sounds like it will.Be strong. Stop your divorce by taking charge, and by confronting your marriage relationship problems. Take the bull by the horns, and don’t give in, but take the necessary steps to hold your marriage together. It will grow stronger from each experience that involved you fighting for it.
Every day people are getting married and every day people are getting divorced. Marriage is a serious step to take, but actually getting married is easy, it’s staying married that’s the hard part. Building a happy and successful marriage is not an easy thing to achieve.It’s a very sad fact but within five years or even less, around half the people who got married will be getting divorced. Not a nice scenario, the only good thing about it is that the divorce rate has dropped over the past few years and is seen to be stable. I think that probably the answer to these statistics is the number of couples who don’t marry but just cohabit means there are less divorces to face.Whether you are married or just living together can be a mixed blessing. You enter into the relationship with high hopes, you look forward to a blissfully fulfilled family life, and whilst there many people who do achieve this many others do not and have to give up on their relationships.What is it that makes the difference between a loving marriage or relationship and an unhappy one? There are so many different reasons, but successful marriages seem to have a few key issues.Commitment – such a scary word, but this is one of the main requirements for making a marriage work. If you can only think of it in terms of a nagging spouse, a small mountain of bills to be paid then that does not bode good. If the marriage is to work and grow, and you want to accomplish things together, then it takes commitment.You will be thinking, ‘oh. No, not that old chestnut again’ – communication. There is no substitute for communications. Within a marriage it means not just chatting about your day, but revealing to the other your private feelings. This doesn’t come easy to a lot of people but in time you will begin to value this aspect of your marriage, having someone you can tell absolutely anything.Taking care of each other should be a pleasure, not a chore. You want to be able to fulfil your partner’s every need both emotional and physical. Your partner should be everything to you, a friend, a lover, a provider, everything. If you have respect and admiration for your partner you will appreciate them fully and small things which may at the time annoy you, will never grow into big annoyances.Marriage means achieving a balance in all things, having time to devote to leisure pursuits, work of course and pleasurable occupations. Make your plans together so you can work together to get where you want to be. Always make decisions together, respect the other’s opinion and always turn to your partner for help and advice.Always laugh with your spouse, never at them. An absolute must is a sense of humor, if you can laugh about things you can get over most problems. If you think of marriage in terms of a recipe, once you have found the correct combination of ingredients it will be a success and couldn’t be more enjoyable.
Learning techniques to improve your marriage may the only way to successfully get it back on the right track. You have to do the work and take responsibility for saving your marriage. Your efforts will determine whether your it survives or if you end up in divorce court. Without your efforts – your marriage will fail. Without a doubt.There are a lot of great books out there on marriage and other topics but I don’t believe anyone ever accomplished anything great just be reading a book. All victories are the result of hard work. Your hard work! A personal investment and dedication are necessary elements for achieving success. Those with the most to gain often work the hardest.If you’re determined to succeed in your marriage, willing to do the hard work, contribute to open and honest discussions, you will be successful.Exploring new ways to learn about your spouse is a wonderful start. This is not a one time project! You must continue to learn throughout the entire life of your marriage. The work must continue.Finding new ways to love your spouse will open so many wonderful doors for the both of you! Agreeing to continue growing is essential. Over time these behaviors can become habits but should never stop. If you feel that you’re at a point in your marriage in which you can’t learn anything new about your spouse, you’re wrong. There is much more to learn and so many ways to grow together. Learning a few simple tools can help you in this process.In my personal experience, it seemed easier to just stop trying rather than working at the relationship. As time went on and we drifted farther apart, it just didn’t feel that it was worth it to “do the hard work”.There are “marriage secrets” that we can use to draw us closer to together. I believe the key is to begin repairing the relationship sooner rather than later.
You can’t stop asking yourself ‘Can I save my marriage?’. Yes, it CAN be saved, and it may be easier than you think.A lot of marriages suffer because of the lifestyles we lead. More and more, both husband and wife have to work, just to make ends meet. Money is tight, which ads more tension. For those couples who have children, stress levels continue to climb, because of school activities, sports, etc. When we get stressed out, we tend to take our spouse for granted – the one person that you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. When your marriage is in trouble, it may be as simple as finding a way to give your spouse some extra attention, and time.Quality time together is vital to a marriage. How much time do you two really spend with each other? After work, chores, kids, etc. You have to find a way to spend an hour or so just with each other, doing something you both like. When one spouse feels lonely, it only opens the door to more disaster.Take a walk together. Go and see a movie, or join a gym together. You have to learn how to communicate effectively with each other. Tell your spouse how you feel, and invite him or her to open up to you, and let you know how they feel. Make sure you are not distracted when talking to each other. Just like with kids, your spouse needs your undivided attention.It’s OK to disagree. No one ever agrees on everything. That’s a part of what makes marriage so special. The important thing is to support your spouse – in everything they do.Has the romance gone out of your marriage? bring physical contact back. Even rubbing shoulders as you pass through the hall, or a quick hug or kiss, just because. Tell you spouse, and SHOW your spouse that you do love them, and that they mean the world to you.
Marriage advice for men – men and women tend to see things differently. Advice needs to be given differently for men than it is for women. This article is meant to help you find your way to having a happy marriage again.Before I start, please know that you are not alone. A lot of men, at one point in time or another, fear that their marriage is falling apart. The only way you are going to ease this fear is by finding out what is wrong, and learning to fix it. In order to do THAT, though, you are going to have to find it within yourself to break free from the stereotype that society has made for men.You are going to have to learn how to show your wife your true emotions. This includes sadness and fear. You are NOT less of a man if you show your true emotions! In fact, that may be just how you will be able to save your marriage!Women think differently than men. Words, especially in times of arguments and high emotions, mean very little to women. It is the ACTION that men take that really makes women see that men are honestly trying. As a wife myself, I can honestly tell you that the words ‘but I love you’, and ‘I’m sorry’, and ‘I know’ mean absolutely nothing to me anymore. It is what my husband DOES to PROVE that he loves me, he is sorry, and that he understands what I’m feeling.Society is hard on men. I do understand that. But you have to make a decision right now. Who do you want to please more – society? Or your wife? Your wife NEEDS you to be open with her.She NEEDS you to SHOW her that you do, indeed, love her. By learning how to freely show your true emotions to your wife, you will open up new doors in your marriage. You will feel so much better, and you will know that SHE feels better, because you will see it every time you look at her!