Sometimes, it is better to live your life alone rather than staying in a marriage that you are miserable in. Some spouses refuse to get a divorce just for “the children’s sake”, even if their marriage died long ago. But did you know that it is sometimes healthier and better for the kids if their parents get a divorce rather than see how miserable their parents are together?When we hear of divorce, negative things come to mind – the end of a relationship, a broken family, misery, loss. But there are times when divorce becomes the better choice than staying together. Most spouses refuse to get a divorce because they think it’s what’s best for the kids. Children generally do better with a mother and a father to support them as they grow. However, it would be better for the kids to live in a happy environment with just a mother or a father than stay in a house seeing their parents argue everyday.And if you do resort to pretending that everything is all right with your husband or your wife, consider how your children will react. They are not dummies nor are they emotionally callused. They will eventually find out that something’s wrong. Truelove and affection can never be faked, especially in front of children. There will always be that uneasy silence or that hostile stare that they will notice now and then.Remember, seeing you genuinely happy will make your kids happy as well. So if both of you think that divorce is the healthiest choice for your relationship, then it will also become the best choice you can make for your children’s sake. All you need to do is to make them understand why both of you are separating. Be open and talk to them together as husband and wife. They will still need all the reassurance and support that you can give. Try to make the entire process as civilized and as peaceful as possible to reduce any emotional impact it may have on your children.
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Do you want to save your marriage? Let’s do it together. I am saying together because I have been in your exact situation and have made a lot of mistakes, as well as the right things to do. So I have a lot of experience in this issue which I want to pass onto other spouses in a marriage crisis. I feel strongly that the institution of marriage is a sacred one and is what keeps us unified. It’s a pity that 87% of all marriages fail. I do not believe that there are any hopeless marriages – every marriage can be saved if you do the right things.As with most people, my first reaction when I understood that my marriage was ending was to go desperate. This is a very common reaction and makes you search for something that will quickly fix your marriage. I felt that I couldn’t just sit back and wait for my marriage to end in divorce – I needed to DO something to save my marriage! So this drove me to do all the wrong things, such as trying to talk my husband out of his demand of divorce. I apologized and apologized for everything, and then I begged him to reconsider. Obviously the wrong things to do – but how can you save your marriage otherwise, I thought.Unfortunately, all those things did was to make my husband even more fed up with me, and the marriage overall. But something changed the issue for me – and it led to eventually saving my marriage: I noticed that I was so desperate that I was totally unable to think correctly about how to save your marriage. I had let my emotions overwhelm me and they were guiding me to do the wrong things. I realized that I needed to stop this from happening – and I realized that I needed some outside advice.This is what changed everything for me! So, if you want to save your marriage, you must definitely ask for or seek some outside advice from a trusted source. Your own emotions are taking you nowhere.
While many people think that marriage is a bed of roses, they forget the fact that roses have thorns. Hence many couples are thrown into confusion when they realize that things are not as smooth-sailing as they had imagined.The only time when some couples really enjoy their married lives is during honeymoon. Soon after they get into the nitty gritty of a married life, some couples face a lot of challenges that threaten to throw them apart.Life is often very stressful, and this easily affects emotions. You may notice that your husband’s feelings seem to have changed, and you will begin to wonder whether he does not love you any more. However, you do not have to be in a constant state of uncertainty. There are some important signs that will help you to determine when your husband is falling out of love with you. The following are some of the things you should keep an eye on.Frequent absencePerhaps your husband used to enjoy spending as much time as he could possibly squeeze with you at home. He would come back as soon as he was from work. If he seems to be looking for any kind of excuse to stay away from home now, you should not take it for granted. He may start taking extra work or getting involved in other activities outside the home.This may be a sign that he is trying to avoid dealing with something at home. The thing could be that he no longer loves you as before.Lack of interest in your personal lifeAnother important sign that your husband no longer loves you deeply is when he seems less concerned about what happens in your life. When he hardly asks about how your day has been, and he doesn’t seem to care what you have been through, this is a warning signal that his love is drying up.Lack of intimacyHusbands who love their wives are normally very intimate with them. If your husband no longer appears to be interested in an intimate life with you, chances are that he is falling out of love.In order for you to reach a better conclusion, you should also consider how he behaves towards you in general. His lack of intimacy may be due to another reason all together. When he seems to be aloof most of the time in addition to loss of interest in intimacy, this is a warning signal.When you take note of such signs in addition to paying attention to your instincts, you will be able to determine if your husband no longer loves you. Then you will need to take corrective measures to bring back the sparkle in your marriage.
As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. In order for any marriage to be successful, both the husband and wife must play their parts actively. So your marriage will suffer when your husband starts showing signs of unhappiness.Women are gifted with a high sense of intuition; hence there are high chances that you will detect fairly easily when your husband is not happy. Once you have noticed this, you should not take it for granted. You need to take immediate measures to help in solving your husband’s unhappiness.There are a number of things you can do in order to strengthen your marriage by making your husband happy. The following are some of the things you should not take for granted.Laugh togetherInterestingly, many people find it easier to laugh with other people than their spouses. However, laughing with your husband is a good way of strengthening the bond between you. It is true that you will face a lot of difficulties as you try to juggle parenthood and career among other challenges. However, instead of ending the laughter, you should have time to laugh and even these burdens will be easier to carry.Many people will just advice you to take time to discuss such serious issues as the mortgage. This is good, but it should not stop at being serious all the time. Share light moments as well.You certainly were not always serious at the beginning. Try to think of the things you used to enjoy together. Having fun with your husband will help in getting rid of his unhappiness.Respect his feelingsWhen you respect how your husband feels, he is bound to be more satisfied in the marriage, which in turn will make him happy. You should understand that something that may mean a great deal to you may hardly have any impact with him, and vice versa. You should therefore not take it for granted when there are some issues that do not please him in your relationship.You should help your husband to tackle the issues that make him unhappy. When he is not happy, neither will you be.Consider your behaviorYour own behavior can play a very significant role in your husband’s unhappiness. There may be a way in which you are venting your frustrations on him without even realizing it. Perhaps you are not happy yourself, and you may be taking it out on your spouse. If you would like to make your husband happy, you must ensure that you are happy first of all.
First of all I want to take a minute to congratulate you on trying to save your marriage. We have an overall marriage failure rate of 85% – horrible! And this is because most people, unlike you, don’t make an effort to maintain their marriages. When trouble shows its head, they just let the marriage go. So I congratulate you for being like me and trying to save your marriage.When I learned that my husband wanted a divorce, even though I had seen it coming for some time, it was still a shock to me – the world went from under my feet. I was so desperate to prevent a divorce from happening, but I wasn’t able to think of anything but apologizing and begging to my husband for forgiveness.And those certainly didn’t help – they only made my spouse more fed up with me. But I wasn’t able to think of anything else to do to save my marriage.So what saved my marriage in the end?It was a realization that I should NOT give in to my emotions. It was a realization that I should go “against the flow” – and I should look for some marriage counseling advice from outside.And that is exactly what stopped my divorce.So, the first and maybe most crucial thing you have to do when you want to save your marriage is to acknowledge that your emotions are overwhelming you and making you do the wrong things – and then asking for unbiased outside advice for guiding you through the right path.
When you and your spouse first tied the knot, you promised your spouse you would stay with them until death do you part. So what happened to get your marriage to the point of divorce? It is probably because your marriage wasn’t strong enough to withstand the challenges it faced. If you make a deliberate effort to make your marriage better then you will not only stop your divorce, but you will also build a stronger marriage to last a long time.1. Find A Model Couple To Copy: Finding other married couples that are happy in their relationship is a great way to learn first hand how to build a stronger marriage. Spend some time with them and ask what they do to keep their marriage strong.2. Become Closer: Do the things you did that made your partner fall in love with you in the first place. Try to take a day out of the week where you and your spouse spend quality time together. Go out for dinner, a cup of coffee, or just take a walk holding hands. Whatever you can do to spend more time with your spouse is a good step towards building a stronger marriage.3. Keep Learning: Always continue to learn something new that can benefit your marriage. Read books, see counselors, attend events designed to improve your marriage. Whatever the situation is that is putting your marriage in trouble, there is a book or a counselor will show you how to overcome these problems. Reading a good book or getting advice from a good counselor will transform your marriage into a strong one.
Ask any marriage counselor and they will tell you that communication is the key to success in a marriage. And how is this so?People are different and in a marriage, two people of different up-bringing, goals, thoughts, feelings and sometimes cultures have to live together and complement each other. The only way they can achieve a level of oneness is by listening to each other, talking out their views and reaching an understanding that would make both parties either satisfied or close to being satisfied.Communication is not only verbal. Non-verbal means of communication such as body language also counts. A partner may not say much but buy a birthday gift which reflects and at the same time communicates love.In many cases though, discussing is the best means of communicating in a marriage as it leaves no room for misunderstanding.As people live together they get to learn their partners and discover the best time to discuss issues, the right tone to use while solving problems as well as the words that work magic in conflict resolution or persuasion of one’s partner.It is advisable that each couple agrees on a time that is set apart just to talk about anything in their relationship. This could be daily or even weekly depending on the couple’s schedule. But this agreement doesn’t mean that one has to wait until the set time to relay any concerns to their partner. As the couple continues to enhance their communication, their bond also continues to grow much stronger.
You would not believe me if I told you that I can make you win one million dollars by reading a manual so why believe “experts” who lie to you about getting your marriage back using backyard formulas cooked up to make a buck?When it comes to getting dumped, the brain switches off into a completely irrational state because evolution is responsible for making it do anything for the survival of the human species. Therefore, when you’re rejected, you will feel like you’ll want to do anything to reunite with the person who wants out.Knowing this will help you make wise choices when it comes to the information you choose to read that promises you that you will save your marriage.Backyard deals and ridiculous promises will get you no where – in fact, they can cause you further pain. Because a desperate manual will cause you to do desperate things.I do not want to insult your intelligence. I know you can think rationally. You just have to be aware that your brain is just doing what it was evolved to do. If you understand that the thoughts, feelings, and reactions you are having is to preserve life, you can bypass the OVERWHELMING feelings of desperation in order to think in a logical and intelligent way.This is the task that many find to be difficult and that is overriding the feelings of rejection in order to implement an intelligent plan to create feelings of love in their partner so that these feelings will build attraction which leads to romance again.Getting your ex back or your marriage on track will not be like “magic” – there are no magic formulas in life just as there is no jack and the bean stalk.But there is definitely a sensible and natural way to increase your chances of getting back your marriage.
Life is not always plain sailing…never a truer word! There are probably very few marriages that have not had their tensions and their ups and downs. It’s what marriage is all about. To expect two very different individuals to live in perfect harmony with never a cross word is not realistic. Marriage has to be managed by both parties or things start to get out of control and unwelcome distortions begin to create unnecessary divisions.Marriage Help – If You Need Help, Ask!At the first sign of trouble, many couples start to think that there may be problem with their marriage. It may be a disagreement or the result of a series of events that suddenly blows up. It’s not good when it happens and it’s quite common for couples to really dislike each other.When the problem is looked at in the cold hard light of day it is usually something fairly trivial that was the catalyst for the bust up. A little understanding and plain, unemotional speaking can sort the problem out.Couples often forget that having children usually coincides with the busiest and most pressurized time in their lives. Children, husband’s career pressures – wife’s career pressure – moving house maybe, and a whole lot else can cause pressure to build. Sometimes it all goes pop!If it all goes pop, there needs to be a lot of ‘understanding’ on both sides. Usually everything can be resolved, but if it is proving difficult, then advice should be sought. Usually it’s just a case of someone coaching the solution from the individuals and getting them to fully understand the problem – another person’s perspective is always helpful. If your marriage needs help, don’t be afraid to ask.Sometime unhappiness can cause weight gain. It’s an unwanted consequence of marriage going through a rough patch. It can cause further problems when attractiveness starts to become an issue. The simplest way round this is not to rush off and go on a diet. This will just cause further stress and strain, and it’s not necessary. A good idea might be to start to eat more fresh food – vegetables and fruit.
Even if you’ve been married for a while, having kids brings massive change into your marriage. Instead of spending weekends and holidays relaxing together, you’re up at 3am with your newborn, trying to get him/her back to sleep. You barely have time to scratch yourself, let alone spend time alone together. It’s easy for you both to drift apart when you’re parents, so that once your kids leave home, you barely know each other. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Here are 3 tips to keep your marriage strong during parenthood.1) Be deliberate about spending time together (even if it’s only in short bursts). It’s easy for the demands of parenthood take over, so that you no longer spend quality time together. This is especially true when you’re children are young, and need a lot of your attention. However, it is fundamentally important that you schedule in quality time alone with your spouse each day, even if it’s only 10 minutes to see how other are going. Oh, and try not to talk about which brand of nappies are the most leak resistant, but keep the conversation focused on each other.2) Don’t over-schedule your children’s livesYeah, I know: the next door neighbour’s child can play 3 musical instruments, has a black belt in Karate, and is a state champion soccer player. All at the age of 6. But you must resist the pressure to ‘keep up with the Jones’ (or whoever your neighbours are) when it comes to your children’s activities. Endlessly running from activity to activity can easily exhaust your child – as well as yourself. This takes both time – and energy – away from the most important relationship you have: your marriage. Your children would much rather have parents with a happy marriage, than to be able to play the flute, the guitar, and the piano.3) Roll with the punchesYou don’t realise how little you control your life, until you have kids. You best made plans, goals, and dreams can get put on hold (or even thrown out) because of the energy and attention your children require (rightly so, I might add!). You might have organised a nice date with your spouse, with babysitters to look after the kids, but then little Johnny gets sick, and the whole plan has to be shelved. Don’t get too frustrated, but realise that this is part and parcel of parenthood. Just be flexible, and look for new opportunities to spend time with each other. Oh, and don’t be afraid to take up offers for babysitting: make the most of any child-free time that you get (especially when your children are very young).Conclusion: A wise man once said that the best way to love your children, is to love your spouse. By keeping your marriage strong, you get to have a loving family, which is easily one of the greatest joys in life.