When looking for marriage advice for men, you are probably finding yourself struggling to keep your marriage together. Men and women don’t think alike. That’s why we are so attracted to each other, but that is also why we disagree so much.By learning how women think, you will be better able to see why your wife does what she does, and how you can work with her to fix your marital problems before they get even worse.Many times, one partner will do something that the other thinks is terrible. And, because there is such a lack of communication in most marriages, this one thing is very likely to turn out into an all-out war. This is terrible, because the person who did ‘the wrong thing’ probably doesn’t even know what they did!Learn to talk to your wife – not only talk , but really listen to what she has to say. A good old-fashioned, heart-felt talk will work like magic in your marriage. It tells your wife that she IS important to you, and you DO care about what she thinks and feels!When women are hurting, they need to be loved and held. They need to be told that everything will be alright.When men are hurting, they tend to keep it bottled up inside. They don’t show emotions well, and this causes women to feel like they don’t care about what is happening. This may not be true, but that is the way a woman see it.Try to keep as much romance in your marriage as possible. Romance isn’t just for dating – you have to do things to keep it alive in your marriage, too. Romance can be as simple as a little note that tells her you love her. It can be a romantic home cooked meal, with candlelight and soft music.Women also need affection. They need to feel like they are loved and cared for, and they need to be shown. You were probably raised that men shouldn’t show emotion, but your wife needs you to. Even if you feel uncomfortable with this at first, she will see that you are trying. The more you do it, the easier it will get.
Tag Archive for mens ralph lauren polo classic fit outlet
Things aren’t going well, but you don’t want divorce to end your marriage. What can you do? If you don’t want divorce there are some specific things you can do to interrupt it.These tips won’t succeed in every circumstance. A number of relationships are too far gone. But most marriages begin having problems long before they get to this spot, thankfully.When you don’t want divorce but your partner does, try being silent for a while. Just don’t talk about anything. Quit complaining. The worst thing you can do is to carry on about how you don’t want to get divorced.You can let your significant other know that you don’t want the divorce. And that’s just about all you can accomplish. Perhaps you could reassure them that partners go through this kind of issue all the time and are still together now. Just don’t do it more than once. If you go on and go on about how you want to stay together, you’ll probably only annoy your partner, making it less likely for him or her to be open to the thought of staying as one. The entire intention is to make yourself even more desirable to your partner again. It’s doubtful he or she finds you particularly attractive when you’re complaining and whining about inconsequential things. That tendency to complain and even nag may have had something to do with why the marriage broke up in the first place, remember.You would like to demonstrate your very best side to your significant other at all times. When you started dating this person, you were probably on your own very best behavior. Everybody does that to win a mate’s heart. Then as things start to get old a little because the mate is won and there’s no need to compete with others anymore, the tendency to whine and complain starts.End this at once and go back to your very best “going to win them” courting behavior. That is often such a switch from the way things were in the beginning, that it seems almost too good to be true.Going hand in hand with taking care not to complain or nag is learning to simply be agreeable. We tend to take our significant other for granted and when he or she suggests something we’re not happy with, we make it known. If we do that too often it can begin to seem to our partner that they can’t do or say anything good! If you don’t want divorce then learn to reach an agreement with your partner even when you don’t want to. That might sound a tiny bit extreme, but you’re in survival mode right now. You just want to do everything you can to save the relationship. It doesn’t’ mean that you’ll never be able to disagree with them for the rest of your life.You need to learn to not whine, to reach an agreement and to do it all with a smile on your face. If you don’t want divorce you’ll have to figure out these things for at least a little while.
If you are asking yourself “how do I save my marriage”, then I have two very important things to say to you, one good and one bad. The good thing is that you actually want to save your marriage instead of taking the easy route out, and just walk out of the marriage, saying “This doesn’t work”. I congratulate you on this. However, as I said; there is a bad point. If you are asking “how do I save my marriage” to *yourself*, this is a wrong thing to do. Why, and what should you be doing instead?Let me put it this way. Being in an ending marriage is one of the most painful things you can have in your life – seeing that marriage you put so much effort and sacrifice in end is a horrible experience. And it is very easy to go desperate and be overwhelmed by your emotions at this point, unfortunately. Because you are desperate, your mind will tell you to do desperate things; like begging your spouse for forgiveness to save your marriage. This should definitely be avoided! No one wants a begging, desperate, pathetic spouse!Because your desperate mind will tell you to do things that are even further damaging to the marriage, you must make sure that you do not give in to your instincts. Do not let your emotions overwhelm you. You can save your marriage only by correct, unbiased thinking. And this is not something you can do when you are desperate and looking for a quick fix.So, the correct answer of “how do I save my marriage” is that you calm yourself down first – and not give in to your emotions. This is what saved my marriage (oh, did I mention that I was in your situation?) when everything seemed totally hopeless.
A new study indicates that people who have stayed in married life may have better health than the perpetually single, but losing a spouse could be much worse than being single. It could possibly take a significant health toll. In fact studies have found that before in history. Something interesting is recent research suggests that in a modern marriage the health advantage is not so obvious as before.As many studies showed, researchers found that middle-aged and older American who were in harmonious marriage tended to have better health than their never-married counterparts. They also have fewer depression symptoms and limits on their mobility.Unsurprisingly, divorced or widowed adults have worse condition than the never married on certain health measures. They have stronger sense of loss . “Previously married people experience, on average, 20 percent more conditions and 23 percent more limitations,” the researchers write in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior. That is due to their disharmonious marriage or losing their spouses.A lasting marriage is a perfect marriage. Remarriage, it seems, would alleviate the pain your previous marriage brought to you. But people in a remarriage still have worse health condition than people in a lasting marriage. That sounds incredible but it is reality.”We argue that losing a marriage through divorce or widowhood is extremely stressful and that a high-stress period takes a toll on health,” researcher Linda, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, said in a written statement. In many times, emotional pain is much more harmful and can not easily be cured than physical pain. People’s emotional condition would influence life spam directly. “Think of health as money in the bank,” she added. “Think of a marriage as a mechanism for ‘saving’ or adding to health. Think of divorce as a period of very high expenditures.” that is pretty animated metaphor. But not all of us can do it.There is an interesting survey to more than 9,100 Americans age 50 and older in 1992. The result is that 55 percent had been continuously married, 4 percent had never married, and the rest had been divorced or widowed at least once. It seemsthat most of them still could enjoy their harmonious marriage. It is something to do with people’s mind toward happiness. However, The findings do not necessarily mean that simply staying married is a health boon.
Trust is important in every human relationship, but it is crucially important if you are to enjoy a healthy marriage. If it isn’t present, then you’re facing an uphill battle. It’s fair to say it’s the backbone of marriage, along with good communication. When you are sharing your life, your home, your dreams and your aspirations with somebody you should be able to have complete trust in them. Do you have complete trust in your spouse? If the answer is no, you need to figure out exactly why. Here’s some questions to ask yourself:–Are they sometimes dishonest with you?-Have you been hurt or let down by others in the past?-Are you dishonest with them and fear reciprocation?-Do you spend a lot of time apart?-Do you make decisions together?From asking yourselves these questions, you can probably deduce what the reasoning behind your lack of trust in your spouse is. If it’s because they are sometimes dishonest with you, this is something that should be addressed as soon as possible. Marriage is no place for dishonesty, it can contaminate any relationship. Maybe you have been let down in the past by family members, friends or previous partners. You could be living with a ‘filter’ in that you expect to be let down by everyone. Perhaps it’s only natural to feel like that, but is it fair on your partner? You need to discover what is contributing to your distrust and set about tackling it. To save a marriage, you will usually need to re-evaluate it and from there you will need to confront the issues that are putting it in jeopardy. First as an individual, and then together. If you want a healthy marriage, trust is so important, never underestimate just how important.
Let me start by thanking and congratulating you for “worrying” about a divorce. Many spouses await a divorce eagerly, because they are not ready for the responsibilities, the commitment and the sacrifices a marriage demands. So, if you want to save your marriage, I sincerely want to congratulate you for this. Only if more people were like you and didn’t accept a divorce eagerly and strived to protect their marriage. In that case we wouldn’t have the horrible 87% failure rate among marriages, and would be a more unified and dignified community.If you are worried that your marriage could be, or is openly, heading for a divorce, the foremost thing you need to do is to consider getting some outside advice. This is what you are doing right now by reading this article, so it’s a good sign. I am saying you should get outside advice, because when a spouse wants to save a marriage he or she panics and does all the wrong, desperate things. Here are a few tips that helped me save my marriage personally:1. Do not apologize: If your spouse wants a divorce for some reason, that reason is probably something fundamental that has been present for a long time. It’s not realistic for you to have understood what that problem is at the moment your spouse has talked about divorce. Your spouse will think that you haven’t really understood the problem, or even if you have, you couldn’t have changed that easily. Apologizing in this state will ruin your credibility.2. Do not beg. This is again, very crucial! Begging and looking needy will make you look pathetic. If you want to save your marriage, you need to shed those traits of weakness, and look strong. Nobody wants a pathetic spouse – moreover, people don’t want what they can have easily – whenever you beg, you are automatically saying “I am very easy to have for you!”, which works against you.
Saving a dead marriage sounds like it could be a difficult task for you and your spouse to take on, but just making some small changes in your lives could make a world of difference. Before you start, you must both make sure you are on board with whatever route you decide to take. If you are not both on board the efforts that one of you are putting in will be fruitless, unproductive, and downright frustrating. Once you have both decided that you are up to the challenge of saving your dead marriage, then here are some simple steps that you can take.1. Break out of your routines. Humans are creatures of habit, just like anything else in this universe, we are going to take the path of least resistance; this happens in marriage as well. After a while we fall into our routines that feel comfortable and breaking these routines is extremely difficult. Make it a point to do something different with your spouse this week. It doesn’t have to be expensive or cost any money, just change your habit. Who knows, once you do, you may find a hobby that both of you enjoy which will enable you to spend more time together.2. Spend time bonding. Wives, this one is for you. I’m not talking about bonding and sharing like you would with your girlfriends, I’m talking about spending some guy time with your husband. If he’s watching a football game, then sit down and watch the game with him. Make sure you are watching like one of his guy friends would do. Don’t interrupt during a big play, don’t talk about plans for the future, just sit and watch. Then, when the game is over, don’t just jump right up and say “It’s my turn now.” Make sure he knows that there are no strings attached to the time you are spending together while bonding.3. Make her feel wanted. I just gave a tip for the women, so this one is for the husband. Make your wife feel like you still want her. Grab her butt while she’s walking through to the kitchen, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, or even go as far as dragging her to the bedroom. The fact that you still think she’s attractive will help her feel like she did when you were first dating and will go a long way in helping the progress you two are making.
There are many aspects in a relationship that have the ability to send it reeling off course. If you want to build a better marriage then take time to build trust and understanding with your partner. This is first step towards marriage success.Relationships usually begin with a blank slate, no one has done anything wrong, there has been no hurt inflicted by either partner and life should be blissfully joyful for the remainder of eternity. Right? Yes but it rarely plays out that way. Everyone has a past. Your past encompasses every relationship with anyone that has ever been part of your life parents, friends and past relationships are all a part of your individual make up.Relationships that thrive have open and non judgmental communication. It is a fundamental building block of trust and understanding. Marriage success will be elusive if it isn’t present on some level.Communicate your past with your partner. They need to know what they are up against. While getting to know your partner or as you discover things that may become an issue it is good to understand why. There may be a past hurt or indiscretion that you find sensitive. Share with your partner in a non judgmental and loving way what it is that you heard or thought and why it bothered you. Chances are they didn’t intend it that way and will quickly respond to discontinue the action or words.There may be “trigger points” from a past relationship that cause discomfort. If someone who hurt your spouse did something that lead to a negative behavior in their relationship then witnessing that trigger now may evoke that same emotion, even though the trained behavior didn’t follow. Being aware of the triggers is the first step to overcoming them.If you really want a better marriage then exercise transparency and openness on a regular basis with your spouse. Doing so will build trust and understanding and lead to your marriage success. Sometimes it doesn’t come that easy and communication is strained, you may not be able to overcome the difficulty on your own.It has taken both of your efforts to get here. One person taking the initiative to make positive changes can make the difference in a relationship. With the proper assistance you will be on your way quickly to restoring your relationship. If you want a better marriage begin today.
Over the weekend, I got an email from a very upset wife who said that her husband was getting ready to leave her and she felt that there was nothing or little that she could do to stop it. She had seemingly tried “everything” on her end of things and her husband was resistant to most of them. She had eagerly suggested marital counseling, but the husband refused to go, saying it would be a “waste of time.” So, she was left with little but her own desire to save the marriage and she feared that this was not enough. She asked what she could do, on her own, to turn the situation around because she was clear on the fact that she didn’t want to lose her husband. I’ll share some of the highlights from my response in the following article.Accept What Is And Work Forward From That Place: I started out by telling her that if she was meeting resistance and had tried to negotiate and still run into a brick wall, that she had to accept this as her starting point. There is little good in trying to strong arm, guilt, or “make” someone change their mind. This only alienates you from them and gives you yet another point on which you disagree.She did not need to add any fuel to an already raging fire, so I felt that she should stop trying to change his mind because this only made her appear high maintenance, desperate, and needy – all things that likely weren’t going to be attractive in her husband’s eyes anyway and would probably contribute to him only wanting to leave sooner. Instead, I wanted her to agree that time apart, should he chose to go that route, might just do everyone some good. Now, of course, she may have had to stand behind that statement. She may have had to keep a straight face right as he walked out the door. But, she also needed to understand that his leaving or his staying didn’t really matter all that much if the underlying tension and drifting apart weren’t addressed. There were bigger problems at stake then which roof was over his head. And countless husbands decide to come home and work things out once they have the time and distance to clear their heads.Presenting Yourself In The Best Way Possible: Another thing that you need to understand is that what you have right now (in addition to relationship problems) are perception problems. If your husband wants to leave you, it’s likely because he perceives that things are better for him without you than with you. To make him want to stay (or to get him back home, if he’s already left), you will need to change this perception. He must eventually come to see that he’s much better off with you than without you. And, he’s not likely to decide this if you are fighting him every step of the way and telling him that he’s wrong or selfish to want to leave.So, always take a second to think about how you are presenting yourself and how he is perceiving you. Always remember that your goal is to overcome the negative way that he perceives you right now. This may require for you to not say what immediately pops into your head or to put a positive spin on something before you just come out and say it, but taking this one step is vital in turning this around.He has to come to realize that the two of you can still interact and connect in a positive way. This may well not happen overnight and is more likely to be a gradual shift, but it is a shift that needs to happen if this is going to change. In order for this to happen, you must have control over your emotions and you must display this to him. You want to appear strong, capable, and understanding – all at the same time.Addressing His Wanting To Leave You: My best advice is to sort of find a happy middle of median. You want to make it clear that you don’t want him to leave, but you only need to state this once. Your goal now is strengthen your position, not weaken it. If he still insist on going, tell him you are sorry that he feels this way, but you must concede that the break may do some good. Explain that you love him and want him to be happy and if this is what it takes, so be it. You will support him in this decision and will use the time to your benefit also.”Using the time to your benefit” doesn’t mean or imply that you’re going to go out with other people or do things that you will regret. But, you should make the best of it and see friends, work on yourself and display your best self because it’s highly likely that once the dust settles and the quiet kicks in, he will be watching and this is exactly when it’s most vital that you are aware how you are presenting yourself. (Seeing the counselor on your own can be a very good idea. It will support you and it will allow him to see that you are serious about what you’ve been saying.)You want him to see the vibrant, capable woman that he first fell in love with, not the desperate, moping one that would be so easy to give over to right now. At this time, you must act “as if” you already have what you want. This will help immensely toward attracting what you really want and toward presenting yourself as the person (that you are deep down anyway) that is going to turn this thing around.
Ladies! Before you say ‘yes I do’ to that man, please get to know some basic details about him. Before I became a Christian, I listened to a song that I really do not know the artist. The words of this song – if my memory is good – goes like ‘ I don’t care who you are, where you are from, what you do… as long as you love me…’ it is unfortunate that many ladies have been guided by such ‘I do not care’ attitude. It is good to feel love and to feel loved but remember feelings come and go. What you need beyond feeling is knowledge. There is the saying ‘knowledge is power’ which I strongly subscribe to.Do not make a decision to marry any man only on the basis of what you feel about him. The best decisions in life are those made on the basis of some sufficient knowledge related to an issue, product or person. When you have some basic facts and truths about a man’s life, then you can be sure to cope and live with him under any unexpected circumstances. Get me right. Every man has some negative past and present and by marrying, he will not turn into an angel.Some of the critical areas to focus on are like, past relationships – has he ever been married? To who? And what happened. How was he brought up? – Under one parent or both? What is his faith, convictions and passions in life? – are they compatible with yours? Does he suffer from any serious ailment? Is he committed to marriage for life or just for a period of time?