Married Christian couples have problems arise in their marriages from time to time just like any other couple. One of those problems may very well be in the bedroom. Sexuality does not end because a couple marries and serves God first in their lives as individuals or a married couple. On the contrary, sexuality and intimacy among married Christian couples is just as important and relevant to their marriage as it is to a couple not choosing to follow Him.Open communication between a husband and wife is the first step to a healthier and happier sex life. Trusting and not being afraid to share one’s desires with his or her partner is crucial to the success of that communication. Married Christian couples are people, too, and they get into ruts just as other couples do and it is up to them to realize that their love and their marriage is worth discussing and saving.Depending on where you are in life helps you decide on a plan. If the kids are grown, take a cruise and go spend some time being young again with each other. Take that Hawaiian holiday you have dreamed of for so long. If the children are younger, perhaps they can stay with a trusted relative or friend while you take a little three or four day trip to the coast or a bed and breakfast and revitalize an area of your marriage that will bring pleasure and satisfaction to you both.We know that married Christian couples have a sexual relationship with each other just as any other couple. And they should have the right to be able to enjoy sexual intimacy as long as possible in regards to health, age and stamina. Have you sat a few pews behind a married Christian couple? Be honest. Wasn’t there a touch of envy at the bond between them? Whatever their needs are sexually, a happily married Christian couple who care deeply for each other, present to the world, a tangible love and intimacy. So tangible in fact, that it is noticeable and remarkable. It can cause the average observer to realize they are witnessing something new and unusual in a world of mediocrity and selfishness. While it’s no guarantee, chances are good that such a couple enjoys a life-giving relationship during their days and their nights are abundantly fulfilling and passionate. Such a relationship only exists between a couple who are confident in their sexuality, their spirituality and their relationship with each other.
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If you are asking yourself “how do I save my marriage”, then I have two very important things to say to you, one good and one bad. The good thing is that you actually want to save your marriage instead of taking the easy route out, and just walk out of the marriage, saying “This doesn’t work”. I congratulate you on this. However, as I said; there is a bad point. If you are asking “how do I save my marriage” to *yourself*, this is a wrong thing to do. Why, and what should you be doing instead?Let me put it this way. Being in an ending marriage is one of the most painful things you can have in your life – seeing that marriage you put so much effort and sacrifice in end is a horrible experience. And it is very easy to go desperate and be overwhelmed by your emotions at this point, unfortunately. Because you are desperate, your mind will tell you to do desperate things; like begging your spouse for forgiveness to save your marriage. This should definitely be avoided! No one wants a begging, desperate, pathetic spouse!Because your desperate mind will tell you to do things that are even further damaging to the marriage, you must make sure that you do not give in to your instincts. Do not let your emotions overwhelm you. You can save your marriage only by correct, unbiased thinking. And this is not something you can do when you are desperate and looking for a quick fix.So, the correct answer of “how do I save my marriage” is that you calm yourself down first – and not give in to your emotions. This is what saved my marriage (oh, did I mention that I was in your situation?) when everything seemed totally hopeless.
If you have been married for a while, you may find that you have started taking your wife for granted. You may even wake up one morning and find that your wife doesn’t love you anymore. She may be going through the motions and pretending that nothing has changed but the love just isn’t there anymore. If this has happened to you, you need to take immediate steps to try to bring the love back into your marriage. Here are some tips that will help you to do just that.Stay StrongAlthough you may feel as if your heart has broken into a million pieces, you need to keep it together. She will not be impressed by tears or begging. What will impress her is a strong man that is able to calmly tell her exactly what he is feeling and why he doesn’t want to lose her.Look At YourselfBefore you blame her entirely for the fact that her feelings have changed, take some time out and look at yourself. Are you still the same man that she feel in love with? Has life made you angry and bitter? Have you given up on your dreams? To bring back love in your marriage you must make the effort to go back to being the man she met and fell in love with. It’s highly possible she may fall in love with you all over again.Make Her Feel ImportantAs marriages go on, each person has the tendency to stop doing all the little things that used to make the person feel important. This is especially true for a woman. If you want to make your wife feel that she is important to you, you need to do the small things. When was the last time you really listened to her talk about things that are important to her? She may feel like who she is has become lost in the details of daily life. Sit down with her and find out what she is really thinking and feeling. She will really appreciate the few minutes of your time that is devoted entirely to her. Make her feel like she is the most important thing in your life and she may return the favor by once again making you feel the same way.Be HappyIf you are not happy with your life, she won’t be either. Instead of helping each other through the struggles of life, you two may just be dragging each other down. Try to adopt a hopeful and optimistic outlook on life and you may find that she does the same. Above are the 4 simple tips that will help you out to bring back the love into your marriage once again.
There was a time in American history when it was against the law for a black male and white female to join hands in marriage. The restrictive laws and statutes prohibiting such marriages were struck down by the United States Supreme Court. The court’s action opened the floodgates for blacks and white in love to be happily married to each other. As a result, we now find many happily married couples of various races in America. The actions of interracial marriages are more prevalent in some states than others. Additionally, such marriages were more acceptable in various countries even before the laws were stricken in America.While serving with the United States Army in West Germany, I had the opportunity to work with the grandson of famed Olympic athlete “Jessie Owens.” The world knew Jessie Owens as the African-American athlete who made Hitler swallowed his words when he won numerous gold medals in the Olympics. He showed the strength, stamina, speed, and agility of African-American athletes whom Hitler considered as non-human and inferior. Jessie Owens grandson was the first sergeant for the unit to which I was assigned.First Sergeant Owens was married to a German female who spoke English more fluently than non-Germans speaking German. He also spoke and understood the German language in an excellent manner. He and his wife were happily married and resided in the German community. They were very supportive of each other and had several wonderful children who spoke German and English. First Sergeant Owens and I had coffee as often as possible and I would listen to the fascinating stories about his grandfather. The German people dearly loved and respected him.He had a small business with a line of sporting goods, sweat suits, and jogging suits; naturally, based on his grandfather’s fame and reputation. Why not? The ground work was already established; however, his family assisted him on the weekends at the military exchange at various bases where he marketed his sporting goods and wares to Germans and Americans. During scheduled tours with others, we would take a group trip into France for coffee and cake, and visited the crystal factories for souvenir shopping.According to some, First Sergeant Owens and his wife had a crossing experience. Additionally, to others it was an interracial marriage. Regardless of the classifications, he and his wife were enjoying life with their family members, friends, and children. The relationships they had on both sides of the world showed love and respect.Notwithstanding First Sergeant Owens and his wife, there were other African-American, Hispanic-American, and Native-American military service members married to German, French, and Italian females and resided in Europe. They were happily married and enjoying life in Germany, France, Italy and other European countries. Regardless of what classification their relationships were called by others, they were husbands and wives in love, enjoying, and sharing love and life with each other. They showed respect to and for each other, received respect from others, and were happily enjoying their life as a family-husband and wife living, loving, and happily enjoying life with each other in peace and harmony.
When I see someone who tries to save a marriage, I consider that person my friend. So, I wish to consider you my friend; because I have been where you are, and know what you are feeling and going through right now.I saved my marriage from a totally hopeless situation. And in the process, I experienced exactly what makes you fix a marriage and what makes you unable to stop a divorce.When you first encounter the possibility of a divorce, and don’t want that divorce; you get desperate. I did. And your instincts tell you that desperate situations need desperate measures – and your emotions tell you to go beg your spouse to save your marriage. I have been through all those – and as you might have guessed, apologizing or begging doesn’t work at all when you want to repair a marriage. Talking and apologizing might work when your marriage is merely a normal marriage with its fair share of fights – not when a marriage is on the brink of divorce.So what made me get my marriage back?What you must know is that people have an increased tendency to want things they can’t have. This is exactly what you should use to your advantage. For example, stopping to beg works immediately to your advantage. This will make your spouse think that you are no longer “dying for him/her” and this makes you harder to get in his eyes. Suddenly this makes you a lot more attractive.
Does it seem like you’re arguing with your spouse every minute of the day? Are you questioning what happened to the love you shared when you originally got married? Do you feel that divorcement is the only alternative for your family? This article will give you some facts you can use and a source for the greatest way to save your marriage starting today.Since the beginning of time, man and woman have had marriage difficulties, and throughout the centuries those couples have managed to weather those troubles; you can do it too, given the right information and strategy.You are probably struggling with some very general issues and are in need of some uncomplicated solutions, if your marriage has not been doing well as of late.If a couple has a son or daughter, parenting issues can be a problem among married couples. One parent might believe that they are taking care of the child all by their self and the other parent isn’t adding anything at all.Having insubstantial quality time with demanding schedules.One half of the married couple needs to make the decision to fight for their marriage, in order to move frontward and change things. You will find that the other side of the duo will begin to make an effort at helping you turn your marriage around, which is quite amazing.Therefore, even when your spouse does not look committed or attentive to the marriage, you could still be a role model and begin learning the skills and knowledge other couples have to rescue their marriage; with any luck, you will find your partner involved in the marriage once more.Just be sure that you never surrender. The love you had when you got married could even be there, and with a little work the love of your life can return.
Humans are never content in what they have and how they got it. That is what keeps us trying to make things better for the most part. Marriage is no exception as it has changed shapes and forms from the early heydays to where it stands now.We are the only species who have institutionalized marriage from not having it at all in the beginning, to a mere exchange of vows and a handshake purely for financial gains in old times, fast forward now to more of an emotional and psychological commitment between two individuals.It is considered a norm to be married with kids, dedicate your life in upbringing the next generation, and in the process sacrifice all that you have to with no expectation of return on it. Problem is, for some it comes naturally and for others it cannot be abnormal enough.In sub-continent (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh etc), marriage is considered to be a responsibility for parents and in haste of being done with the job at hand they often make unfortunate decisions. In rather stark contrast it ought to be an informed outcome of consent from both individuals and families, and should be celebrated for it to not become a cause of regret later.Just in case if you were wondering and needed my opinion on:- If is it a must to get married? NO, it’s not. But YES it helps to have someone to share your life with.- If one should get married just for procreation? NO, just get a pet or adopt a child in need instead. Not to mention you will be doing injustice to your partner if you got married for the wrong reasons.- If is it nice to be married? YES, it could potentially be if you know what you are getting into and have expected to make changes to accommodate the new lifestyle.- If waiting for the right person is a good idea? YES, it beats getting your marriage turn out to be a bad one.- And last but not least, if it’s OK to get married for money? I am not sure about that as the jury is still out on that one . Just kidding and NO you should not if there was any doubt.We are social animals and companionship is our basic need, so surround yourself with worthy people as they help you unlock your potential and if in the process you like someone (or more than one in some countries) enough to get married, then you can enjoy the fruits of it even more.
Is your marriage heading for the ugly end – a divorce? And do you want to save your marriage? Then I feel for you – because I know from personal experience how bad it is to see your marriage circling down the drain. I know how bad it is to see your marriage, which you fought so hard to protect and maintain; crumble down to pieces.I was in a similar situation – as you want to save your marriage now; I wanted to save mine. But I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know where to turn to stop a divorce. I did everything I could think of – I tried to talk my husband out of it millions of times, when that didn’t work I begged, and when that didn’t work also, I cried. Nothing seemed to work – and everything was hopeless.But now let’s let all those go – and fast forward to today. I have saved my marriage – and by saying that I am making a big, big understatement: my marriage is better than ever right now. And now I look back, and see all the mistakes I have made. And I can confidently say now: Every Marriage Can Be Saved. It is in your hands to save your marriage.How do you do that?If you have begged your spouse for reconsideration, or if you are thinking to do that (I know it is tempting), quit it immediately. The right way to save a marriage is the exact opposite of that: You have to make yourself less accessible, less easy to get for your spouse. How, and why?Because people want what they CAN’T get. By begging your spouse, you are shouting: “I am easy to have!” and nobody wants such a spouse. You have to reverse this situation if you want to save your marriage!
People today have an unrealistic view of marriage, They believe “I feel so good being around this person and I never want that feeling to end.” In God’s eyes, marriage is not just a feeling, it’s a commitment.Even among Christians, many of whom have been negatively influenced by movies,novels and pop culture to be guided only by how the other person makes them feel in other words, by getting goosebumps or butterflies in the stomach and totally ignore things like compatibility and clashing worldviews and you wonder how do I save my marriage?What God has joined together, let no man put asunder-Mark 10v9As Hank Hannegraaf (popular radio host) frequently says, feelings ebb and flow, one minute you might love your spouse and at other times, you don’t, often because of a lot of stupid and trivial stuff, many times involving egos of trying to “win” the argument, you bear a certain level of resentment.Marriage is a commitment, yes it involves love, but it also involves sacrifice of putting your needs and wants aside for the good of both of you, its (marriage) is not just a commitment of two people of the opposite sex, it is a commitment of a man, a woman and God.Understand,that despite the abysmal divorce rate around the world, just because you may have a rocky marriage, divorce must not be your first option.There’s that saying that Divorce is contagious “Our neighbors are selling their house,my co-worker’s wife is running around on him and now he’s going to divorce her as he can’t take it any more”There are legitimate grounds for divorce that are biblically based like infidelity or violence,even so, each marriage is different as you have people in some cases with radically different personalities, not to mention the fact that men and women in general are so different in general.So as you think how do I save my marriage and feel like giving up, it may be time to take some time to think before changing your (or your kid’s if you have any) life before you take such a potentially devastating step.To save your marriage,you both need to be committed to not just “letting it work itself out”.
I often get emails from people who say that they feel “disconnected” or “distant” from their spouse. Many will take this one step even further and feel that this is the first step to the chemistry or spark being gone and in “falling out of love.” Some even go further than this and tell me that they think that they may want a divorce.I understand that it can feel really “off” and discouraging to feel lonely or alone in your own marriage or that you just don’t have a connection with your spouse anymore. But, I also suspect that if you were perfectly at peace with your decision or the way that your thought process was going, you would not have found this article. I honestly believe that it’s at least worth a try to make an attempt to reconnect. Because often many of the factors that are going on in our life contribute to a sense of disconnect – and not just with our spouse – with everyone. Sometimes, if you can change the circumstances, you can also change the feelings. I am living proof of this.Understanding The Disconnected Society We Live In: Our world is not really all that conducive to taking the time to nurture our relationships and to really take the time to connect one on one. Technology that allows you to “keep in touch” with only a few sentences and the blinking words on the screen ensures that we are short and hurried. Since it’s oh so easy to keep in touch on Twitter and Facebook (mostly with limited characters) it’s common to say a lot while really not saying much of anything.This technology does allow us to keep in touch with folks who we otherwise would not interact with, but it is no replacement for face to face connections and it should not contribute to us interacting with our spouses this way. Still, there is no denying that we live in an unbelievably fast paced society which is full of distraction and obligations. It’s very easy to assume that those closest to us know that we care and understand our burdens. Unfortunately, good intentions do not carry a marriage or ensure that we remain fully connected.We unfortunately can not control our society, but we can control that boundaries and commitments that we place on our relationships. We make choices about how to spend our time each and every day, but the one’s closest to us and most deserving of our time sometimes come up on the short side of this because we assume that they know that we care or that they will always be there for us and then we are surprised and upset when the changes and shifts start to appear in our relationshipsBeginning To Reconnect With Your Spouse In The Hopes Of Avoiding Divorce: Many people who write to me are deep down troubled by this disconnect and they wish that it could change. But, they just don’t know how to start and they have developed some long term habits that have started to define the relationship. It’s often hard to get started or to go out on a limb and be the one who begins to make the changes. I completely understand this, but know that stepping out of your comfort zone is the first step toward making meaningful changes.And, don’t worry. You don’t have to make any drastic changes. Its better that they are gradual anyway. You can start by looking at the relationship with fresh eyes. What has changed between now and the time when you felt most connected? I can tell you that most people will tell me that today, they have kids and obligations and just not enough time for each other. This is universal to almost everyone. And, honestly, you can not really change the fact that your have kids and that your life is busy and you probably would not want to. But what you can change are the ways in which you prioritize how you spend your time and who you spend it with. Because often when you are “falling in love” with the person who is now your spouse, more is going on than just chemistry. You are both enthusiastic, willing, and in the right frame of mind to move forward. You are both on your best behavior – complementary, polite, attentive, thoughtful, and interested. These things obviously go along way toward feeling connected and to moving things along. But, how many of these things are you exhibiting today? And how does this omission affect the way that you feel? Because make no mistake. The circumstances drastically affect the way that you feel, but most people are not able to see the correlation until it’s almost too late.Focus on the things that the two of you might enjoy and might allow those attributes that were plentiful when you were connecting to come to the forefront. Promise yourself that you will put forth this effort with an open mind. If it doesn’t work, then you are no worse off than you are now. And at least you will know that you made a sincere effort before you move forward toward the next step.