Are you asking the question, “can I save my marriage?” The only person who can answer this question is yourself. If you still love your spouse and if you are very much willing to exert the necessary effort to save your marriage then YES, you can definitely save your marriage. The most important thing is love which is the only reason why you should be thinking of getting back with your ex. If love is not the reason, then maybe you should just forget about reconciling with your spouse. Love is the force that put the two of you together so love is also the force that will reunite you if either of your strayed from the other. First of all, analyze your relationship. What are the events and circumstances that have led to the current state of your marriage? When did the problems start showing up? It is advisable though to avoid playing the blame game. That would be very unhealthy at this point. It is not important anymore who committed what to whom. After all, it takes two people for a relationship to work. And a failed relationship is the fault of two people and not just one. So the real question to ask is not can I save my marriage but can we save out marriage. And if both of you still has feelings for each other then YES is the resounding answer. Having love is not enough of course. There is work to be done and both of you should be up to the task. What is needed from both of you is a commitment. You should both commit to spending more time together however busy your schedules are. Without quality time, you will never be able to work your difference out. Some couples think that as their relationship progress the need to spend time with each other diminishes. This is not true. On the contrary, couples should increase the time that they spend together as their relationship advances in years. This is the only way to be sure that their togetherness will remain intact. People asking can I save my marriage will find that answer to that question inside their hearts. They will never find the question somewhere else and with other people. The answer may not be easy but if you love your spouse then you will be willing to make sacrifices and compromises.
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Getting married is easier than staying married. Ask any one who has tied the knot and you would hear the same thing being repeated. Tips and tricks to save your marriage can be as varied as the people themselves. There is no ‘magic formula’ to make it work. In fact, a better way to interpret it is that you keep on working on the formula till such times that you live together. This means that to save your marriage, flexibility is what the doctor ordered.You will need to adapt to changing priorities, changing personalities and changing needs of the environment. The other key to save your marriage is perhaps to give each other space. Now, this is a critical area, as many do not know how much space is right. Too much of it can create irreversible distance and too little of it can create frequent collisions. Each marriage has its own formula of ‘space’ needed, and you have to decipher your own, as time goes by.All that is fine but despite your working out a reasonably acceptable marriage formula, you might still find yourself in the unenviable position of facing an imminent break up. Not being used to such mental trauma, it is natural for you to make some critical errors that spoil your chances to save your marriage even further.While you might deploy a thousand strategies to save your marriage here are some tips on some strategies which you should not deploy:o Mistake #1 is the instant outburst of emotions. Defeat in a relationship invites gender-specific reactions. A woman cries; a man might get aggressive. A woman may plead, while the man might just walk out of the situation. While such instant reflex reactions largely depend on individual personality traits, there are certain things which you should never do if you are serious to save your marriage. For example, never cry or plead with your partner to stay back. This does not mean that you get aggressive and start a tirade of accusations and abuses. You need to stay calm to think rationally about the steps you are going to take in future to save your marriage. Crying, pleading or throwing tantrums are pure waste of efforts.o Mistake #2 is to jump to conclusions as to why your marriage has failed. Though tough, keep an open mind about the situation, till you have got all the facts right in stead of groping in the dark or listening to other people’s views. Before trying to find the scapegoat, look at yourself in the mirror and analyze your faults and shortcomings. Chances are that you might find several aspects of your own personality that needs rectification, if you want to save your marriage.o Mistake #3 is to be fatalistic or pessimistic. You do not have to take everything that life has to offer, lying down. If you are a responsible adult, capable of thinking and acting rationally, you should not give in to ‘what fate has in store for me’, even if the situation hints towards a foregone conclusion. You need to know why, how and what you did wrong in the marriage, even before you try to make attempts to save your marriage. The only person to enlighten you in this matter is your spouse, if he or she is the one who has decided to walk out of the marriage. Even if what you hear surprises you, you should be able to communicate clearly to your spouse why it makes sense to save your marriage – provided there is still love and respect between the two of you. Getting defeated by the first blow is a sign of cowardice and by having a fatalistic attitude you can never save your marriage.
In your marriage, have you discovered that you and your wife or husband consistently quarreling? You must sometimes wonder the spark that you had for one another during the beginning of your wedlock. Are you now concerned that your union is heading straight to a divorce? This article will offer some knowledge you could take advantage of and a source for the best approach to rescuing your marriage – beginning now.Matrimony has its ups and downs and it has been this way since the beginning of time, for millions of couples, and with the right subject matter, you can put this bad time behind you and move on to happier moments.Usually when a marriage isn’t doing so great it is because you are having anxiety with ordinary issues that all couples go through. Some of these issues are listed below:* Bickering on a daily basis* Parenting concerns* Insufficient quality periods with due to busy schedulesOf course, the only true way for a couple to endure united is if one partner makes it his initiative to make sure the marriage stays in tact. You will find that the other half of the twosome will begin to make an endeavor at helping you turn your marriage around, which is quite amazing.Therefore, no matter what, set an example for your marriage and become knowledgeable on methods used by various other troubled marriages to save them, and eventually you may be able to engage your spouse in your partnership once again.The secret is to not abandon hope. Most marriages have a potential at becoming the relationship that you are dreaming of and it is almost always worth fighting for what you truly love.
A marriage is for all intents and purposes an equal partnership between two people who are in love with one another and whilst literature and the media may describe and perceive love as an all encompassing, all forgiving force which can overlook the most profound of defects or flaws the grim reality is that this is simply not accurate. Financial troubles and debt are toxic to the well being of a marriage and can serve to create a massive rift between the couple, creating resentment and frustration.It is highly unlikely that both spouses will earn precisely the same amount of money and therefore the spouse who is earning more will no doubt feel more than a little resentful at being the one who is expected to simply bail out the other when the going gets tough. Whether such accusations are well founded or not are irrelevant, the fact that they are even rearing their ugly head is extremely problematic in of itself.Of course, it is also entirely possible that these complaints and criticisms are well founded, and that it may very well be that one of the spouses is rather irresponsible when it comes to money. They make foolish and unwise purchases, squandering limited money on impulsive purchases when there are more pressing concerns and incur more and more debt.Many people who are married nowadays still wish to retain some degree of independence and so specifically request that they have their very own bank account to which they are fully responsible for. However, if one spouse who is careless with their money should squander their own savings and then dip into the joint account enjoyed by both spouses then this can be fatal to the marriage. The money is secondary, and the major issues here are the lack of respect, responsibility and trust that is being clearly demonstrated.If your thoughts are frequently on “saving my marriage” and you are currently in a state of affairs like the scenario described above then you should ensure that you have a honest and frank discussion with your partner. It is important that the spouses determine whether there is some deeper reason as to why the spouse who is spending all their cash is doing so, and whether or not placing safety mechanisms such as withdrawal limits on the joint account would be a wise move.
The qualities of a healthy marriage for one couple may be totally different than they are for the next. What really matters is that your marriage has the right mix of qualities that are right for the two of you. If you feel you may be missing something, you may want to look at the values you and your spouse share or possibly do not share. Shared values are important because if you are not on the same page resentment may start to creep into your daily lives.When I first started my online business, I don’t think my husband was really on board with my idea. He was happy with the status quo and not ready to give up some of the time that the two of us were spending together. Educating my husband about the value of running your own business quickly turned his mind around and helped him understand the value that I hold in owning my own business. Is my spouse as excited about my business as I am, no, but he understands that value that I uphold in becoming an entrepreneur.Whether or not to have children is also a value that many couples may disagree on. Too many times you see a wife decide to get pregnant in a last ditch attempt to save a troubled marriage and most of the time this last ditch effort fails. Children are a big step for a couple to take and discussing the right time to have a child is extremely important in order to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page. My husband and I have decided that if children happen, then it was meant to be and we have been on that same page from the start. This is a value that the two of us have always shared.
Are you experiencing joy and happiness in your marriage? Then speak about it. Several things will happen to your relationship when you share with others. One of the good things is that the goodness you experience will be multiplied. Here we are applying the principle of sowing and reaping. Whatever positive contribution you make towards other people’s lives will eventually return to you in a greater measure. When your motivation is to see the success of others, I assure you today that your success will be multiplied.Many marriages are troubled to the extent that the victims have resigned to fate, concluding that it can never work. This is why I encourage you to speak out about your successful marriage. Share your wisdom and experience with others. Propagate this truth; that marriage is one of the best things that can happen to any man or a woman in this life. Identify marriages that are going through crisis and speak to them. I know your success in marriage is not automatic. There are couples that have contributed to your success. You have observed, admired and imitated good marriages for you to be happy. Do not take it for granted. As you have been helped, help others also.Let me note that in the process of your well intended gestures, you will face a few situations that will suggest what you are doing does not make sense or a difference. Kindly ignore such opinions and continue with the good work. Do not succumb to discouragement. Be committed to the welfare of others. Freely you have received, therefore, give freely.
It’s a bitter truth that the spontaneous, all consuming love and infatuation leading to a marriage ends sooner or later. While some people think it’s a “loss of love” overall, what it in fact is the realization of the transition from a simple, superficial, “lust” to a much deeper level of loving. I have been in this situation and was nearly losing my marriage over it.It’s crucial that you make your spouse understand this.Bringing Back LoveOne of the key steps on how to save your marriage by bringing back love is that you stop being negative, depressed and needy. Do not say things such as “it was all my fault”, “I must be the world’s worst spouse”. Be self-confident and strong. This will not only make you a lot more attractive, the power of thinking positive will make YOU more positive as well.Physical and Emotional TouchWhen you tell someone that you appreciate what they did, they like this very much – and when it comes to marriages, it’s all those small things that build up and matter. When your spouse does something positive, even the smallest of things, show your appreciation, don’t hold yourself back.Physical affection is another very important point in saving your marriage. A brief, warm hug can and will make wonders in making your spouse remember the real and deep love associated to being a married couple, facing difficult problems in life every day.Take Care of YourselfYes, you are married but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to look good to your spouse. Over time you might have become insensitive to the feelings your spouse has towards you, which makes you care less about your physical appearance. As a famous chef once said – “people always eat with their eyes first”. So whatever reaction your spouse will give to you for any matter will be AFTER his/her brain will filter the thoughts according to its interpretation of how good you are looking.
This story is from two men in California, a gay couple who wed in 2008 during the so-called window of equality, prior to proposition 8 that effectively ended same-sex marriage, for now, in the Golden State.”In a historic 1948 decision, the California Supreme Court held that each citizen’s fundamental constitutional right to marry was really no right at all, unless it meant the freedom to “”marry the person of one’s choice.”" My parents married in the International House at Berkeley, the very same place they’d met. But as they moved to other states, they found that each state’s laws treated their marriage differently simply because of their races. While looking for a house in Missouri, they learned that Missouri law prohibited marriage between whites and “Negroes” or “Mongolians,” the term then used for most Asian Americans.”It wasn’t until 1967 that the US Supreme Court overturned all such laws when the court declared marriage is one of the “basic rights of man.”This is a fascinating case study in the history of the struggle for marriage equality in this country. This heartrending tale shows why a patchwork of laws concerning civil marriage will never work in the United States. Author Jonathan Rauch in his landmark book Gay Marriage: Why It Is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America ©2004 Jonathan Rauch , the author cites an example of his own when he refers to his eventual marriage to his partner of 18 years. If they were to wed in Virginia where Rauch lives, then he drove to DC where he works, as he drove across the bridge he would no longer be married. We can refer to the 14th amendment to the U.S. Constitution that guarantees equal protection under the law in this matter. The hodgepodge of legal protections, stipulations and exemptions will be a nightmare for everyone until civil marriage equality is the law nationwide.That said, the process will be better served if each state endeavors to establish civil marriage equality. The memory of the abortion rights case of 1973 is instructive. Roe v. Wade was decided in favor of a woman’s right to choose an abortion by the nation’s highest court. In the intervening 36 years the issue has still not been completely settled in this country. We have to wonder if the situation would be different had each state decided on its own.Just so with civil marriage equality. Once a number of states adopt such laws, erasing discrimination from their books, a tipping point will be reached, and all the remaining states will fall in line. In the meantime, the six states that now allow gays and lesbians to marry have demonstrated a progressive stance on this issue, and are leading the way. But until civil marriage equality is reality nationwide there will be a patchwork of domestic partnerships, civil unions, civil marriage and assorted other arrangements, what Rauch terms ‘marriage lite’. He goes on to say, with some justification, that these so-called marriage lite relationships are one of the most corrosive factors to marriage insofar as they dilute the message we as a society ought to be sending. Marriage confers a large array of benefits, protections and rights on two people entering into it. What society should be doing is saying, if you want the rights and benefits of marriage, get married! Instead, at this point, and until the tipping point of civil marriage equality is reached, we’re creating a patchwork of marriage lite arrangements, thus, ironically, devaluing traditional marriage.Imagine if Ohio had a law that codified a stop at a red light. Then imagine that Indiana’s law said stop at a yellow light. Kentucky may have us stop at a green, or blue, or lavender light. Each state may use different shapes for their street signs, different currency in business transactions, or drive on the opposite side of the road. It might be very interesting for a time, and a challenge for the daring among us, not to mention a boon for travel agents. But it would be an odd situation at best, and chaotic at worst. In the early days of our republic this was exactly the case. There was a real patchwork of laws, observations and practices, and it took time, and in some instances the intervention of the federal government to equalize and level the field.This is what needs to happen with civil marriage equality. Over time, as more and more states undo the discriminatory restrictions to gay marriage, at some point the entire nation will move in the direction of equality as it has so often in the past. Then the patchwork will come together, more closely resembling the more perfect union that we have always aspired to be.
While many articles, both in physical media and online, have been published to provide couples with useful tips to liven up their failing marriage and eventually save it, the figures pertaining to the rates of divorces all over the world never ceases to increase.With conflicts being common among married couples, it all boils down to how these conflicts are being handled and resolved. Essentially, there are only three things that you should keep in mind, just three keywords in fact, to prevent your marriage from hitting the gutter of divorce – NO, COMMUNICATE and STRIVE. Say NO to Divorce!Divorce is not an option. Always keep this in mind, and even if you are living in a country where divorce is legal, it shouldn’t be for you and your spouse. Marriage is a pledge, not only on paper, but of your love for each other and this is true no matter how tacky it sounds.Marriage is a vow that should be kept while the two of you are still alive. Eliminating the idea of divorce from the onset of marriage and keeping the idea intact throughout the course of your relationship is not a guarantee, but will greatly help you and your spouse from resorting to this nasty and non-sense process of separation, no matter how readily available it is.COMMUNICATION Fills the Void that Love cannot FillEver heard of the saying “love ain’t enough”? While some would say love alone will keep couples together, with the divorce rates soaring yearly, maybe love isn’t enough after all.Constant communication is the only effective medium for couples to discover each other’s emotions and thoughts about anything, be it related to their marriage or not, even if they have been together for years. Issues or tensions within the marriage such as those which concern your finances or your sex life should also be discussed immediately, to prevent prolonging it which may cause more issues. It is best to discuss these matters face to face, because some messages may be best conveyed through non-verbal forms of communication such as body language, eye contact, voice quality and tone, etc.STRIVE to Keep Yourselves TogetherMarriage is a work in progress and it never stops to be one. It is a constant struggle to maintain harmony and a state of balance between both parties who, at the end of the day, are still different individuals and their own person, but are united through marriage because of their love for each other. It takes a lot of work for both parties to be able to reach a common ground or to meet halfway because of their differences – to compromise, sacrifice and settle. This is why marriage is a huge deal, because when the bliss of honeymoon is over, this is when the real work begins.To discover the 6 Most Common Reasons for Divorce and How to Stop Them Happening to You, visit http://www.DivorceNoWay.com right now.
If you are tired of your boring marriage and seek some type of new excitement then you are definitely not alone in this world. There are many couples out there that seem that their marriage is boring and without any significant purpose. This may be because they have no kids, there is no type of enjoyment or they have a sexless marriage.A lot of factors can contribute to a boring marriage but the worst of it all is the fact that the couples that are married do not have sex what so ever. This is an indication that your marriage may be in trouble and needs some fixing. Restoring a broken marriage will not be easy and having the essential knowledge and how to “knowing” is quite important, so you don’t ruin it any more in the process.Marriage will definitely have its ups and downs and knowing how to prepare yourself for these uncertain situations will always keep you steadfast and ready to conquer any challenges that your marriage throws at you. Lets face it, how hard are you going to try to fix your marriage if you don’t have the necessary and strategic techniques to fully take on this monstrous challenge.A happy marriage can create many wonderful memories that will be hard to forget. Allowing yourself the will to acknowledge that your marriage needs fixing is the first step to saving your marriage the best way that you can. So, if you have found yourself in a boring marriage then you must look within yourself to understand what needs to be done to fully restore it the right way. Learn how to fix a relationship and marriage effectively.