If your marriage is on the brink of divorce, you will probably find that everyone has advice for you on how to save your marriage. Most of them mean well but for the most part, they have no idea what they are talking about. Here are five tips that cab save your marriage:Write It OutPeople often underestimate the power of the written word. Writing makes your words permanent. Making a list of your grievances gives your spouse something concrete that they can refer to again and again. Be careful, however, the things that you write down can hang around for a very long time. Make sure that you take the time to write exactly what you mean. Do it when you are calm and can really think through what you want to say without excess emotion. Plus, you may find that writing about what makes you angry gives you a chance to blow off a bit of steam. This means you can be calmer when it comes to actually discussing the issues you have written down.Speak SoftlyOften times when people are arguing, the things that need to be said get lost in the shouting match that ensues. If you lower your voice and speak softly, no matter how angry your spouse is, they will be forced to stop screaming so they can hear what you are saying. Once both of you are talking in at a normal voice, you have a better chance of being able to discuss the issue at hand.Remember The LoveIf every time you and your spouse are in the same room and an argument ensue, you may really start to wonder why the two of you ever got together. Take the time to remember what made the two of you fall in love in the first place. Try to make a point of telling your spouse one of the things that you love about them every day and encourage them to do the same. After a short while, you may find that the fighting has given way to remembrances of love.Really ListenSometimes when you are in the middle of an argument, you only hear what you think your partner is saying. This leads to more arguments and misunderstandings. Take a deep breath and really listen to what they are saying. You may be surprised to find that your preconceived notions were wrong. You may also find out that your spouse hasn’t really been listening to you either. The two of you may discover that you really are on the same side.
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After a few years of marriage, a lot of people find they don’t have anything to talk about but who left their toenails under the couch, and what happened on Grey’s Anatomy. If you’re in a long-term relationship that’s lost it’s sizzle, now’s the time to figure out how to get that sizzle back.The key to revving up romance is to bring one new element to date night:Change the Place.Go to tango class rather than spending another Saturday night at Outback, or get freaky in the guest room (or even the back yard), instead of the usual romp in your own bed.Change the Subject.Instead of talking about the kids, what’s for dinner, or what happened on the Spam account, ask questions like you did when you were dating: What was your college essay about? What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you as a kid? Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever gotten lucky?Change what you Wear.Forget jeans and dump the track suit. Get all dressed up for a big night out, even if you just hit the local Denny’s. The act of spending time on your appearance in anticipation of your date will make you feel more romantic before you even get your pantyhose on.Change your Color.Wear red, and lots of hit. Dye your hair or slink out in something scarlet. Wearing red increases your heart rate (and his) and mimics attraction – just enough to kick-start a slow night.Change your Scent.A study at the University of Chicago showed men associate the scents of cinnamon and vanilla with love. When you’re looking to cook up a little romance, pop some of those ready-to-bake cinnamon rolls in the oven, or wear a cinnamon-vanilla scented perfume. (We love the Man-Magnet Parfum Glacé) Trust me ladies, it works like catnip for men.(C) Copyright 2002-2009 by Lisa Daily. All Rights Reserved.
Trying to read your husband’s mind is virtually impossible. As women, we tend to be more open about what we’re feeling. That makes it even more frustrating when you ask your husband how he feels about the relationship and he doesn’t offer anything. Nagging him to talk about it will only result in him becoming more and more distant so it’s not an option. If you’re worried that your marriage is barrelling towards a breakdown, there are some signs your husband wants a divorce that will give you insight into where he’s at emotionally.One of the obvious signs your husband wants a divorce is his attitude towards you. If he seems less engaged with not only you but the family as well, that’s not good. When a man is considering leaving his marriage he’ll typically opt out of family activities and even vacations. If he retreats to a chair in front of the television when he gets home from work or if he is constantly more engrossed in his own hobbies than participating in the family, he’s got one foot out the door already.Another of the signs your husband wants a divorce is his refusal to talk about the problems you two are experiencing. Many men, when they are falling out of love with their wife, will tell her that nothing is wrong or they will blame their attitude on stress. If fixing the issues between you two isn’t a priority to him, that’s not good at all. He’s allowing his feelings and the marriage to die, and unless you step in and change things, divorce will most certainly be a part of your future.
If you are in a marriage relationship, you may take it for granted that your ‘husband still love me’. However, a number of things make people change over time and the issue of your husband’s love may not be as simple as it may appear at first. Nevertheless, given that women often have very sensitive instincts, you may sense that your husband no longer feels the same way towards you as he used to.Your instinct may give you a red light so that you know that things are not in order. However, you may need more concrete proof, and that’s why it’s necessary for you to know the important signs. These are the things that will help you to know whether your husband still loves you.The frequency of his verbal expressionsDuring the earlier stages of your marriage, your husband most likely used to tell you how much he loved you fairly frequently. He did not need to have any special reason to give his verbal affirmation. With time, he may say this less and less frequently.This is an important sign that your husband is falling out of love, which you should not take for granted. Do not assume that your husband does not tell you about his love since he knows that you are already aware of it. There must be some kind of reason why your husband has stopped telling you that he loves you as often as before. The reason could be that he does not really love you as much as before.Consider his actionsWhile your husband’s words are important in determining whether he still loves you, his actions are even more significant. Try to recall how he used to behave towards you when you were still hotly in love.While it is natural for people’s actions to shift over time, there are some changes that will show you that your husband does not love you any more, at least not as much as previously. Although he is bound to change due to added responsibilities, he should not be making your life more difficult. If this is the case, it may show that he has begun to neglect you to some extent, which is a bad sign. If your husband’s behavior clearly indicates that he no longer gives you respect, the most likely reason is that he has fallen out of love with you.Once you have determined does ‘husband still love me’, you should not give up no matter how painful the reality may be. You can still reverse the situation and get your husband back in love once more.
You’re looking for ways to save your marriage. Your marriage is in trouble. It is very important that you stay as calm as possible. This is the only way you will be able to think clearly enough to stop a divorce from happening. Here are some tips and advice to help you to save your marriage and build a stronger relationship in the process.
Don’t let negative feelings show. When you act out of desperation, or talk with tension in your voice, it will only add to the problems. When you are trying to save your marriage, it is very hard, but you have to try your best to stay calm.
Give your spouse (and yourself) some breathing room. When things get heated, go to see a friend or family member for a few hours, and return home after things cool off. This will enable the two of you to talk to each other rationally, instead of fighting.
A marriage is a union of two people who love and support each other through good times and bad. When your love for each other is strong enough, your marriage can survive anything it is faced with. Show your spouse that you truly love them, and need them in your life.
Spouses should learn to communicate well with each other. This isn’t always easy, but it is extremely important, especially when you want to keep your relationship alive.
The saying ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ really means alot. Try not to complain about every little thing. Let some things slip by. The big problems do need to be addressed, and dealt with. Learn to face your marital challenges together.
You know something… you wouldn’t believe the amount of people these days that are practically crying out the words.. “Can someone pleeease help!! I need help saving my marriage!” Unfortunately for these poor couples, the happy life they once thought was possible for them has slowly but surely began to fade away into the distance… perhaps never to return again!Perhaps you are one of these unfortunate couples? If you don’t want your marriage to fall by the way side, never to return again… then you need to wise up a little and take serious action in order to save your marriage from the cold, unfriendly atmosphere of the courtroom… meaning a divorce settlement! Let me tell you something, most people in a marriage crisis believe that settling for a divorce is the best way forward. Well… if you ask most people that have gone through a divorce, they will tell you that it is a difficult time for both persons involved!Firstly, Going for the divorce option is a financial nightmare. The amount of money you will spend on lawyer fees is crazy. Plus all the other crap that goes with it such as the breakdown of assets and custody of any children that you may have. Your life really does go its separate way indeed! Then lets not forget the idea of building your life once you and your spouse have gone your separate ways! Even your whole career may take a nose dive. So as you have read out, its not as easy a solution as most people in a marriage crisis think.The best thing you can do in a marriage crisis is to try to resolve it with some common solutions first.. like marriage counseling. If this does not work out for both of you, then your only option is perhaps to end the marriage in divorce. But don’t let the first sight of trouble in your marriage push you into the concept of a divorce settlement. As I said before, its important to work on your marriage troubles first.As I mentioned before, you could always try a marriage counseling session. Well… in fact you’d need a number of counseling sessions to repair damage and resolve issues. The only problem with marriage counseling for a lot of couples is the cost involved! Marriage counseling sessions can cost anywhere from $100 plus per session. You’ll need to attend a number of sessions in order to save your marriage. However, its worth it… if you save your marriage, you’ll lead a happier married life. So if you win on that count…. that money invested is certainly worth it!If you don’t have the money for marriage counseling, maybe you should try some of the excellent guides that are out on the market today. They are self help marriage counseling guides and thousands of married couples have used them to solve their marital troubles. If you’d like more information on these guides, you can take a look at some of the reviews I have found below…
Most marriages begin the same. The newlywed couple carefree and joyful. Unfortunately, at some point along the road, things start to change. Life happens to happen. Some couples just don’t know how to deal with tough situations, and the marriage falls apart. Your marriage does NOT have to end in divorce! Any marriage can be saved, when you put good effort into saving it.It’s no wonder more marriages are struggling to survive nowadays, with the economic crisis and the fast paced lifestyles we live. As human beings, our natural emotion is to get out of any situation that makes us uneasy. That’s why so many marriages are falling apart! We simply don’t want to TRY to save marriage anymore! For whatever reason – it takes too much time, it’s too much work, etc. Millions of excuses for not holding on to something as important as life itself!To save a marriage, both partners should sit down and calmly discuss what’s going on with the marriage. This way, you have the opportunity to see it from each other’s point of view, and maybe you will see things differently. Once you have found the source of the problem, now it’s time to get to work and FIX the problem.When you work together, you will have a much better chance of saving your marriage and stopping a divorce, than if only one person tries to fix the marriage themselves. When your marriage was good, you had fun together. When times get tough, you have to learn to get through these times together, too, so you can go on to have more fun times!
While it is a fact that many marriages go sour, it is very painful for any wife to admit that her husband fell out of love with her. If this happens to you while you still love your husband, your pain will be even greater. In such a case, you may begin to think that divorce is your only way out. Although your husband may fall out of love due to the dynamics of marriage, this does not necessarily have to mark the end of your relationship. There are steps you can take to improve your relationship if your husband fell out of love with you.Self evaluationOne of the things you need to take into consideration is to take a closer look at yourself. Try to figure out how you used to associate with your husband during the initial stages of your marriage. Then consider how you related with each other at present. Are there some ways in which each partner is taking the other for granted? The changes in your marriage will affect how you feel, and your feelings in turn will influence your behavior.Your husband may feel that you no longer appreciate his efforts, which will make him become more withdrawn.If your husband fell out of love with you, you should ensure that you let him know how much you value him in your life. Let your actions show him that you really appreciate him. Your husband can be greatly discouraged when he does not feel to be important in your life. Remember that no matter how much other people appreciate him, it will not make as much impact if he does not receive any appreciation from you.Outside influencesThere are other matters that may be stressing your husband, which have nothing to do with your relationship. These may be either financial difficulties or problems at work. Such things may make your husband’s patience wear thin, and you may be mistaken to think that he has fallen out of love with you.Try to give him whatever kind of support you can so that he does not have to bear the entire burden alone. The moral support you give your husband plays a very important role. Let him know that you understand the financial tight-rope he is treading on. You will accept to make some sacrifices to make his burden a little lighter.If your husband fell out of love with you, do not despair. You can still make your marriage have a brighter future by following these steps among others. This is possible even if he is already thinking of filing for a divorce.
Relationship difficulties, marital problems and unhappiness are simply facts of life for most people. The unfortunate truth is that most marriages typically don’t work out for the people involved. At any given moment, one person is probably happier or more “in love” than the other person; and, as they say, “it takes two to tango.” One person simply can’t make a marriage work, which is why most marriages end in unhappiness and divorce. If you aren’t working on making your marriage work every day, you are eventually going to run into marital problems, stress, unhappiness and — if you’re lucky — divorce. If you want to make your marriage work, you need to consciously and consistently put energy into it and, in order to do that, you’ll need: incentive; commitment; a committed partner; and a plan.The first key to making marriage work is incentive. It goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway) that people don’t like to do anything unless they’re going to get something in return for their efforts. While it isn’t wise to do things in order to manipulate your partner into responding a certain way, you need to establish a clear incentive for your efforts. My incentive is that I want to continue to live a happy and healthy life for as long as possible. To stay happy and healthy, you need to spend your time thinking and doing happy and healthy things. Arguing, fighting, worrying and being resentful are not conducive to health and happiness; they cause stress and stress causes illness. Decide what you want in life — or what kind of life you want — and make that your incentive.The second key to making marriage work is commitment. You need to be committed to your goals in order to stick with the program and achieve them. The proper incentive helps us maintain focus, but we also need to learn to master our thoughts, emotions and actions for those times when we are put to the test. Without commitment and focus, you will fall into the unconscious, automatic (habitual) behaviors that got you where you are in the first place. It helps to have a safe “sounding-board” to keep you encouraged and focused through tough times. Friends with agendas or negative influence, however, should be avoided — these are the friends who attempt to stir up drama by trying to make you feel justified in your anger, worry, etc. True commitment to your marriage may mean eliminating negative influences from your life. How committed are you?The third key to making marriage work is having a committed partner. As I mentioned earlier, it takes two to make a marriage work; if you try to do this by yourself, you’ll simply become worn-out, bitter and resentful. Communicate with your partner. Study and learn about relationships together. Explain the importance of a committed, joint effort and then observe what happens. If your partner is truly committed, it will show. If your partner isn’t truly committed, then they aren’t truly your partner; they are an obstacle to your health and happiness. Just as you need incentive, your partner will also need incentive in order to maintain a commitment to your relationship. Help them find it and keep it in mind. Spend time talking regularly about what your joint goals and desires are — as well as what you each want individually. If you help each other, you have found the true essence of marriage.The fourth key to making marriage work is a plan — a simple plan. If being happily married was innate to humans, half of our marriages wouldn’t end in divorce and married people wouldn’t drive each other nuts. Your plan should include regular, meaningful communication, spending quality time together having fun, and learning (together) how to develop incentives and commitment in order to maintain relationship harmony. To be good at marriage, you’ll need to learn about it and practice the things you learn. Remember the old axiom: “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” There are many resources available to help you develop strategies for creating and maintaining relationship harmony.Everyone of us wants to be happy. If you’ve found yourself in a marriage, your odds of being happy have dropped significantly. Although humans need companionship to be happy and fulfilled, having a companion you don’t get along with will have the opposite effect. You can be happy and married at the same time, but it isn’t easy or natural; you’re going to have to work on it. Follow these keys to relationship success — and find a committed partner to help you along the way. When you have learned the art of being happily married, life takes on a whole new look, feel and meaning. If you’re married, do yourself a favor and learn how to make marriage work for you and your partner. You’ll be glad you did.
If you are concerned about ‘how to save my marriage’, then the first step is in identifying where the problem lies. There must be knot in the rope somewhere. If you can identify that, then that is the first step. Common problem areas are about financial worries, parenting children, difficult sexual relations,and the inability or unwillingness to talk and listen to your partner. I would say that the latter is probably the most common of all.Each of the ones I have listed above are pretty big issues but sometimes there are smaller more irritating problems which can erode a relationship like a massive mudslide on a mountain.Let us say that you have managed to identify a problem or issue which is really preventing you both from having a fruitful and fulfilling marriage. If you can manage to tell your spouse that, then you are on the right track.Now comes the difficult part. You both have to talk about it. If you are in a marriage where communication is restricted and limited, then you both may have problems here and you may have to get the help of a third party like a counsellor who can help to make the interaction easier.They say that you need to spend ‘prime time’ with your children. That is so true but what about setting aside some prime time for your spouse? This is when you are going to talk about these issues and you should aim for a small time slot for just the two of you to do this every single day. This could be centred round an activity you both like doing like taking a walk but the important thing is that there are no interruptions or excuses.How about dating your spouse again? In addition to the prime time, you need a weekly date and that should be based on an activity you both like doing like the cinema or just going out for a quiet dinner where you can talk and also help recreate the old times when you were dating regularly.As you start to talk,you are going to get a nasty surprise and that will be that YOU are the cause of most of the problems! This is where having an open mind and being willing to make some changes are essential. You have to work on ‘how to save my marriage’ and that means both of you. The ability to listen and to be more self critical is all important.It means trusting your spouse and also being convinced that you can still make a go of it. That means having faith not only in your marriage but also in your spouse. If these two elements are lacking, then you may be wasting your time in trying to save your marriage.Are you able to forgive? Is your partner able to forgive ? Can the mistakes be pardoned and can you resolve to move on ? If there is something unforgivable then it may not be possible to overcome that particular obstacle and your marriage cannot be saved.