Are you on the verge of getting divorced from your spouse, but you want to stop your divorce? And do you think there is nothing you can do to save your marriage, it is doomed forever and it’s only a short time before you actually get divorced?Well, my friend, you couldn’t be MORE wrong if you wanted to. I, having saved a marriage that had stopped looking like a marriage some time ago, can rather comfortably scream into your ears:YOU CAN FIX YOUR MARRIAGE! YOU CAN STOP YOUR DIVORCE!Every marital problem can be solved! Well, not everything, I hear you saying. Some problems like infidelity WILL end a marriage. Well – you are again dead wrong! You can stop your divorce even if the conflict was from infidelity.As I said before, I was in a very troubled marriage with some very desperate problems. I will not go into detail here, but know that my marriage was probably in a worse situation than yours. I was looking for tips to save an ending marriage like mad, and in the meantime I was doing what I could think of. Begging? Crying? Acting like I didn’t care? Even “threatening to suicide”? Well, I do not know what I was thinking. Even if threatening my husband with taking my own life helped me to save my marriage, would I be comfortable with such a situation?Know this, my friend – human psychology drives us to do similar things when we are in similar situations. This is true for our spouses, as well. So, if we perform a certain set of actions, the right actions – the psychological result of these actions on our spouses can very well be that they decide to stop the divorce and continue with the marriage.You can do it, my friend. I do not know whether you are a male or a female, but it does not matter. You can stop your divorce.
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Has your wife suddenly become distant or inattentive to your needs? Is she starting to make plans on her own? If you feel that something is terribly wrong but just can’t put your finger on it, then read on.Although it is normal to experience lows in marriage, drifting farther apart from your wife should be taken as a warning sign. What you can do is try to think back to what triggered your wife’s distant behavior in the first place.For starters, has it occurred to you that you may be responsible for the distance between the two of you? Here are some points you need to reflect on that could possibly help you find out just why the woman, who was once deeply in love with you, has now lost all interest in your marriage.
Are you still showing her the same love and attention the way you used to? Do you still take her out to dinners or bring her flowers like the old days? Do you still share in the household chores? Are you still looking out for the kids and assisting with their daily needs? Do you still look forward to weekends with the family? Do you still show interest in her parents and how they are doing? In short, do you still show her the appreciation that she deserves? These are little things but could mean a great deal to someone you love. You just need to keep in mind that marriage is something that needs to be treasured and taken care of. Your vow to love and serve each other, no matter what, does not end at the altar, but will follow you for the rest of your life. There has to be an active effort between couples to make it work.So if you are starting to feel her distance, then try to identify the problems and fix them as early as you can. The earlier you address the issues, the bigger the chances of saving what’s left of your marriage.
Deciding who and when to marry is one of the most life altering decisions you will ever make. Getting married is so much more than a change of status on Facebook.There are some important questions to ask yourself and each other before to make this commitment. There are some deal breakers that are worth identifying before you begin.Finances: What are you each bringing to the marriage? How much debt? What are your assets? What are your spending habits?Sex: Have you talked about attitudes toward sex, beliefs about sex, desired frequency, preferences, expectations and fantasies? What are your thoughts on masturbation, pornography etc.?Chores: Who is going to do them? How will you fairly accomplish what needs to be done? How important is a clean house to you?Children: Do you want children? If so, how many and how soon? How do you plan to parent?Relaxation: What do you like to do for fun? How will you have fun together?Drugs: How much and how often do you drink? Do you use illegal substances?Fighting: Do either of you have violent tempers? Have you ever hit someone? Have you ever been abused? Is it ever okay or necessary to hit your partner?Fidelity: How do you plan to remain faithful to each other? What is inappropriate behavior with someone of the opposite sex?In-laws: How healthy are your boundaries? How involved will the in-laws be in your lives? How do you feel around and about each others families and friends?Work ethic: What is your attitude toward work? Where do you fall on the scale between workaholic and lazy bum?Future: What do you think you will be doing in 30 + years.If you cannot or will not talk about any of the above issues, consider that changing your Facebook status to married may end up being temporary. You may find yourself a few years down the road changing your status back to single.
Like all marriages, your marriage was also made in heaven; but with time earthly reality strikes leaving you wondering several times in a day whether your husband is the same man you married and how you can make your husband fall madly in love all over again. They say the mind of the woman is complex but the mind of the man can also be a quagmire of complicated feelings and emotions making it impossible for the wife to know exactly what he is going through. In case you too are going through a similar situation and find him gradually distancing himself from you – it is time to think how to make your husband fall madly in love. Of course, this is subject to your own desires to save the marriage. There are various proven ways to make your husband fall madly in love all over again and rekindle that passion which you once witnessed in him. So, before you plan your second honeymoon, you have to know how to make your husband fall madly in love, and cement your relationship once again.The eternal quest to explore the unknown has triggered the interest of a man from time immemorial. Exploring a wife is no exception. When he married you, what kept him happy during the initial years was that he was continuously exploring the woman he hardly knew. But over time, familiarity with the same woman has started to bore him. Therefore, to make your husband fall madly in love, develop an aura of mystery about you. Just the way you were when you first met him. Make sure that there is something new and changing about you every other day. Last week you hated to go for jogging, this week you love it. Yesterday you hated that red dress (which he bought you for your birthday) but today you are ready to flaunt it in front your friends. What you are essentially trying to do is to appear new and unknown to your bored husband as this is a sure way to make your husband fall madly in love. Start reading a new author, listening to some other kind of music, cook something which he least expects and the list can be endless. The more mysterious and unpredictable you get better chances you have to make your husband fall madly in love.When was the last time you surprised him with a text message saying you were missing him, while he was traveling on work? When was the last time you invited him for a candle-lit dinner at that quaint little restaurant down the road? When was it last that you bought him something special exclusively for his use? If you really think hard, perhaps you have forgotten to do all these small things thinking they were insignificant. This is the biggest mistake we make when we take our husbands for granted. Therefore to make your husband fall madly in love, you might have to re-work on your ‘loving’ strategies once again. Let us face it, these small but meaningful gestures does not cost much and does not take too much effort. Remember everyone wants to be loved, hugged, and touched and to feel special. Your husband is human first and then your husband. Caring does not mean saying ‘I love you’ sixteen times in a day – you could show your love in small ways which take him by surprise. Once your husband understands in the core of his heart that he is the most special person in your life, chances are high that you can make your husband fall madly in love all over again. They say that some men are very difficult to please – even then, there are some factors which ought to make him go weak on his knees. There is none other in this world who knows about such weak links than you. Apply your knowledge about your husband to successfully make your husband fall madly in love.
The why of a marriage seminar is, quite simple, you would not need to go on a marriage seminar break or weekend if you were not having problems in your marriage. Lets face it, at the moment, with the recession and all the stresses and strains of our day to day life, marital problems are quite common but you may be feeling totally isolated and alone if you are without family and very close friends. This is another reason for going on a marriage seminar, you will start to realize you are not the only ones who are suffering these particular problems, you may even end the weekend wondering why you went because you do not have half the troubles other people have.One of the main tools that you can learn is communication, you may think that while you are shouting and screaming at each other, you are still communicating, but if you can actually take a time out during your arguments you will realize, a lot of the shouting is simply personal insults, and nobody is listening to anybody else, they are too busy trying to think up the next clever insult.At a marriage seminar you will be taught how to effectively communicate your needs and wants and how to listen effectively as well. If we feel we are being listened to, we start to feel we are being respected by our spouse and treated with value, as our self esteem rises we will find our value and respect for our other half rises as well. After all why did we marry them in the first place, we usually marry our spouse because we have fallen in love with them and cannot imagine living our life without them. Through being able to communicate effectively with each other we can, very often find that love again.Often at marriage seminars you will find that they do have marriage counselors who can help you work through any serious problems you may have. Even infidelity can be caused by a lack of communication, if your spouse feels that at home no one cares about his feelings, but at work some one listens to them, looks into their eyes when they talk, makes them feel that what they say matters and are a little more important than the latest episode of who knows what on the television, then their head is going to be turned more than just a little. A marriage counselor can help us see this and work through any little problems that may get in the way of your marital happiness.There are all kinds of different marriage seminar weekends, Christian and church run marriage seminars, spiritual marriage seminars and even seminars that are run by the authors of marital self help books. It must be said that a marriage seminar weekend is a lot more than just a weekend away. It is a weekend break for you and your spouse, so that you are able to concentrate on each other, your needs and wants and your marriage. If you really do want to save your marriage, you will be able to leave the seminar with renewed strength and enough good tools to be able to carry on the good work started on your wonderful marriage seminar weekend.
Communication is a process of sending a message through a medium to the receiver. It basically means to pass on or share or exchange views, information, ideas, knowledge, feelings and emotions.Lack of communication is the cause of most marital problems. There could be a minor or a major information distortion. Lack of communication is the mother of frustrations in a marriage.Types of CommunicationThere are two major types of communication:a. Verbal: This could be in form of discussion, argument, whisper, murmur, rebuke, protest, command, encourage, praise, appeal, gossip, instruct, correct, appreciate, etc.b. Nonverbal: This could be signs or signals. This could be in form of nose twitching, hissing, door slamming, bunching of legs, clapping, touching, winking of eyes, etc.Kinds of Communication1. Zero Communication: This is when there is no communication at all between the couples. When couples are no more in talking term. This show a sign of a family that is about to fall. Lack of communication in the home is a threat to the peaceful existence of the family.2. Plastic Communication: This is when communication has no root, not sincere, not direct. This shows a sign of a poisoned relationship. Guard your marriage against such communication which does not have its root in total sincerity and faithfulness.3. Negative Communication: This involves dangerous communication. It involves negative communication like cursing, murmuring, abusing or insulting, protesting, etc.4. Bulk Communication: This is handling a lot of issues at the same time, thereby confusing the receiver. Thereby affecting the rate of understanding between couples.5. Half Communication: This is making incomplete statements which could be refer to as half truths.6. Object Communication: Directing one’s comment to object instead of addressing the subject. For instance, the husband may look at a badly prepared soup and say “You this peppery soup how I wish I had somebody with good sense that can prepare you better, I would have enjoyed you”. By saying this he is passing a message across to the wife that the soup is bad. Though in a wrong way.7. Subject Communication: This is the situation when a person addresses the subject instead of the object of discussion. The husband of a woman that cooked a bad food may say, “Woman, you have been careless in everything, everything you do in this house is bad” instead of telling the wife how badly the food was prepared, may be peppery, or salty, he is busy castigating the woman. It could not be true, that the woman has never done anything right in that house.8. Sandwich Communication: This is the level of communication that combines both negative and positive to produce a positive result. It is like commendation, correction and condemnation. For example, “Darling, thank you for this wonderful food. You can just try to reduce the pepper tomorrow; all the same it is a wonderful meal. I always say you are the best cook”. This kind of woman will take to the correction of her husband without any grudges because of the commendation.9. Extra Mile Communication: This is when a partner goes beyond commendation to sing the praise of his partner calling him beautiful names and telling him how handsome he is. These kinds of communication are missing in our home today that is why we encounter diverse problems in marriages today. Check your own marriage, check the level of communication in your home and change for good. Allow God to use your mouth for the betterment of your home.
Ok, if you’re looking for signs a marriage is failing then there’s a good chance that you’re already seeing some signs that your marriage is failing as you read this. The truth is that you’re probably looking more for signs that your marriage isn’t feeling and that it can be saved right?Here’s the thing…you’re either looking to dump your spouse and get rid of them already and you’re trying to justify that by making sure that the signs are truly there…or you’re looking to see if you can figure out a way to keep them around forever like you’d planned on when you first got married.Either way you’d be pleasantly surprised to know that just because there are signs a marriage is failing present in your marriage, it doesn’t mean that your marriage is doomed or that it has to end.That’s not to say that you shouldn’t pay attention to these signs because you certainly should. But just because you think you’re seeing signs that your marriage is failing is no reason to throw in the towel and give up.My own marriage saw plenty of signs a marriage is failing and I got through them with some help.So What are the Signs That a Marriage is Failing?Well there are plenty of them.But here’s the deal. If there is abuse in the marriage, especially physical abuse, then the marriage has failed. End of story. It’s time to get out of the marriage, see a therapist (both spouses) and move on with your life. Abuse is the one permanent and consistent deal breaker. It means the marriage has failed.Another sign is obviously cheating. Now cheating doesn’t always mean the marriage will fail. It is a very serious problem that must be tackled straight on, and quickly, or else there really is nowhere else to go in the marriage. Only after the cheating has stopped can there be steps made toward repairing the marriage.But there are more mild signs a marriage is failing, or has the potential to fail.I think one of the biggest is indifference toward the marriage. In my marriage, both my wife and I had become very indifferent toward one another. In other words neither of us care much about the marriage anymore. It wasn’t extremely important to us anymore. It wasn’t the center of our worlds anymore.When this happens then I believe it’s a huge indicator of a huge breakdown, and perhaps even then cheating may begin to happen.It’s also the gateway to things like resentment, spite, revenge, and a zillion other things.
I often get emails from folks who suspect that their spouse no longer wants to be married. I’m often asked for a list of signals and signs to watch for. I will generally preface this by saying that everyone is different. Some people can be very unhappy and discontent in their marriage but can also have a strong level of commitment so that it’s going to take a lot to make these people even think about walking away. But, then there are others who will walk (or at least think about it) as soon as the two of you hit a rough patch. It may not yet be clear which of these categories your spouse falls into.Still, there are generally some signs that you will begin to see as they move away emotionally. The distance may come gradually, but it will generally come. And only time will tell if this distance contributes to their taking this further and leaving the marriage, but it certainly helps to watch for the signs so that you can fix the problems right away before they get any worse. So in the following article, I’ll tell you some things to look for which might signal that your spouse is seeing the marriage in negative terms.They Look At You (And React To You) Differently: It used to be that your spouse’s eyes would light up when you walked into the room. The sight of you would always bring a smile to their face. They were always happy to see you and to be with you no matter what else was going on in their life.But, you may be noticing that things today are in direct contrast to that. They don’t even seem to really see you anymore. They may not even glance up anymore when you walk into the room. You may now see a straight line or a scowl instead of a smile. When you ask them about this, they may ask you what you expect after all this time or they may wonder how you can expect the two of you to act like teenagers when you are an old, married couple.Maybe you could see their point if this was an isolated incident, but it’s not. Their indifference to you has become the norm. It’s not just a few instances scattered here and here on bad days. Not really seeing one another has become your normal. Yes, it’s not unusual for things to calm down and to cool off once you’ve been married for a while, but couples who are still happy will generally be very aware of the other and will respond with spontaneous positive gestures in the presence of the other. A smile, the brush of a hand, or a palm resting on the back doesn’t take any energy or thought at all. They are simply spontaneous reactions that occur when you are deeply connected with someone. If they are not happening, then you have to question the state of the connection.They’re Avoiding Intimate Contact And Conversation: Often when the connection begins to leave the marriage, you’ll see either opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of behavior. Either this will come out negatively and you’ll see the couple begin to fight, bicker, and “debate” much more. Or, you’ll see them become very busy with other things so that they’re just not around you as much. This is sort of passive aggressive avoidance.In this phase, when you are together, you’re not fighting. But, you’re not being all that intimate either. This is the phase where you’re perfectly pleasant, but you’re not really talking to him or her as you would a lover. You avoid what’s really important. You busy yourself with work or obligations. You talk about the weather, the kids, the stock market, the neighbors down the street. You talk about everything under the sun but your relationship.It used to be that you could tie up the phone line for hours giggling and sharing and just letting the conversation flow. Now, there may be awkward lags in the conversation or times when you find that they, or you, aren’t really listening all that intently anymore.They Are Starting To Live More Independently: When people start to check out of the marriage or to distance themselves emotionally, you’ll typically also see this manifest itself physically. They will begin to spend more time away from home. They’ll suddenly want or need to spend more time with friends or other family members. They may take up a new hobby or take on more responsibilities or projects at work. They will want to create an individual identity rather than just a couple identity. They’ll start to establish individual rather than couple friends.They may take separate vacations or open their own bank or money accounts. They may be either very open or secretive about this, but the bottom line is that it stops becoming “we” and starts becoming “I” and “you.” They may even encourage you to become more independent so that this process requires less guilt from them. They do this because they want you to begin to establish your own life and interests so when they break comes, it won’t be as devastating to either of you.Sometimes, these things aren’t conscious on their part. They’re not actually saying to themselves: “well, I know I want to get a divorce next year so I’ll start breaking away now.” It’s more that they are acting on their often unconscious need to start breaking away, even if they’ve yet to even notice this or to admit the reasons for it, even to themselves.
In case your marriage has been tumultuous and is facing a breakup, it may be best to split up and try to resolve the issues involved. Here are some things that can help you out.Step 1 – Avoid blaming each other for the failure of your marriage.You may feel angry about your partner but keep in mind that he or she was once the apple of your eye. It can be difficult to imagine at present that you had once loved the other person, but always remember that the best way to healing is to remove all the blaming and fighting.Step 2 – Try to help your ex get back on his/her feet.This may sound absurd to some, but helping your former mate can benefit both of you in the long run. Psychologists say that people who have been married for quite a long time are complements to each other. That is why undergoing a marriage breakup is such a hard thing to do because it feels like you are losing a part of yourself. So try to look out for your former mate and make sure he or she is doing well.Step 3 – Do not involve the children.Your kids are the most precious people in their lives, so make sure to not intentionally involve them in your marriage problems.Step 4 – Seek the help of a therapist or a friend to confide on.When your marriage is about to end, it is wise that you reconnect with reliable friends whom you can talk to. If friends are not around, you can hire a therapist whom you can confide all your feelings.Step 5 – Try to patch things up again.If you think that there is still a little spark left in your hearts, why not try to patch things out again. Maybe it’s not yet too late for things to work out between you.
Anyone who’s ever gone through a nasty, litigious divorce has probably thought to himself or herself: “I wish I had signed a prenup.” You’ve probably heard the term thrown around in gossip magazines and entertainment shows, but may be wondering what a prenuptial agreement is and what it does.A prenuptial agreement is a contract entered into prior to marriage by both spouses, which specifies how property will be divided and spousal support will be allotted should the marriage end in divorce. Basically, it sets the terms that would normally be drafted after the marriage ends. So rather than have a court decide who gets the china and what alimony should be, the two people getting married decide what would happen in the eventuality of a divorce, removed from the anger and acrimony of en ending marriage.In the US, all 50 states and Washington, D.C., recognize prenuptial agreements, as long as those agreements conform to the following standards:
The agreement must be in writing.
The agreement must have been voluntarily signed by both parties and cannot be the result of duress.
The agreement must not be unconscionable (that is, it cannot be patently unfair to one party).
It must have been signed by both parties in front of a notary.
It must have been written with full disclosure to both parties.
AdvantagesObviously, the main advantage of the prenuptial agreement is that it provides a template for property division and alimony in case the marriage ends. It is a rather pragmatic solution to the problems inherent in marriage. They can severely limit a spouse’s claims to alimony and property rights, assuming the prenuptial agreement was executed correctly. It can be very difficult to invalidate such a document.DisadvantagesWhen you get right down to it, it’s the pragmatism of the agreement that can make the prenuptial agreement rather unattractive. It can be seen as a sign of bad-faith when one spouse suggests a prenup, as it can be seen as suggesting a lack of faith in the other spouse. Additionally, prenuptial agreements, should they not conform to the already stated standards, don’t hold much water. A court can dismiss the statements of an improperly drafted prenuptial agreement. For this reason, it is beneficial to have a lawyer draft the document.For more information about prenuptial agreements, visit http://www.kleinattorneys.com.