One of the most common problems in any relationship is the ability to communicate clearly with your partner. There are secrets to building a better marriage once you discover the power of positive communication.Sometime during your life you’ve probably played the telephone game. Remember sitting in a large circle of friends or students or perhaps in a line? The first person comes up with a simple phrase that should be easily remembered and whispers it to the second person. The only rule is that it needs to be passed one person at a time and in such a way that no one else can hear.Usually after the message travels past the fourth or fifth person it has already become something unrecognizable by the person who began the message. It’s a lot of fun to play but the sad thing is it plays out all the time in our relationships.Have you ever asked your partner to do something and they thought you said something completely different? It happened to me just the other day. In the shower, I thought she asked me to wash her face, which I do fairly often. What she did say was “watch my face”. Oops! As I lathered my hands and moved towards her she jumped back excitedly. Close call.We were in a hurry and just because its summertime and it was hot we decided to take a quick shower before getting dressed for dinner. Earlier she had already done her makeup and didn’t want to disturb it. We both had a good laugh and fortunately we communicate really well with each other.When you are trying to build a better marriage you will need positive communication. Simply put, be sure you understand what your partner is asking or stating. Be certain to positively clarify as you navigate a conversation. Without judgment simply respond with something like, so what I hear you saying is…and then restate what you believe you heard. Over time this becomes more natural and both partners will benefit.It doesn’t always play out this easily, don’t be discouraged. It has taken both of your efforts to get here. One person taking the initiative to make positive changes can make the difference in a relationship. With the proper assistance you will be on your way quickly to restoring your relationship.
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Marriage is something two people do when they are in love. When they have the decision to love each other no matter what. There are a few things that will help your marriage to last. First thing to remember is never go to sleep angry. This is important because over night allows too much time for the problems to fester and become bigger.The second thing to remember is when you do argue and everyone will eventually. Remember to use words like “I feel like this…. when you do this” Never use words like “You always do…” You never…” You are placing the blame totally on the other person. It’s an accusation. Remember money is on of the biggest areas people fight about. If you have debt problems seek help.Take interest in what your spouse is doing even if it isn’t something you would like to do. Put the other person first. If grocery shopping needs to be done and there is no choice but to go, and if both of you are extremely tired. Who do you think should go to the store? Should you say, “you go I don’t feel like going.” No, you say, “I’ll go I know how tired you are.” This is putting the other person first. Compliment your spouse. Your beautiful, you look nice, I’m really proud of you. Thank- you for being so good with our children. Many think that you don’t have to tell them, they already know. Well the truth is we all need that affirmation that we are good, that we are worthy and that the spouse still thinks we are great!
Can marriage survive without intimacy? Intimacy is one of several ingredients in the making of a successful marriage. A lack of it is often among the first tell-tale signs of a failing marriage; and while a few couples out there believe otherwise, I do believe that NO marriage can survive without intimacy and the earlier a couple begins to take steps to rekindle the romantic blaze that once existed between them, the better they’ll enjoy their relationship.The truth is that in romantic relationships, there is an inverse relationship between the length of that relationship and the level of passion or intimacy existing between the couples. This is such that new couples are usually very intimate and passionate about the relationship but as time goes on, they just seem to lose interest in one another. The bad news is that if this continues, then it is only a matter of time before one partner gets served divorce papers but the good news is that if you’re concerned about your situation, then there is still hope. Sit back and consider again: ‘Can marriage survive without intimacy? ‘The first step in bringing intimacy back into your marriage is evaluation. Both partners must separately provide answers to the following: on a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rank the level of intimacy that existed when you first began this relationship? On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rank your current level of intimacy? In your opinion, what reasons do you feel are responsible for this change in intimacy? Do you feel resentment for your spouse? What issues bring about this resentment? It is important for couples to dedicate time to do provide all these answers individually at first and then sit down together with their responses and work out their differences. Always remember that intimacy begins with communication and is based on trust. After all this, ask yourselves one more time: ‘Can marriage survive without intimacy?Why is saving your marriage so important to you?Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions. It is especially true for a marriage. We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.Losing a lover is one of the most emotionally traumatizing episodes in our life. Losing a spouse is even worse. It is amazing how the very thing that brings us the most pleasure also brings with it the most grief.But don’t give up on the love of your life yet. It is too early for this. You can still reverse the breakup and successfully reconnect with your spouse. I will teach you how to bring back the passion into your marriage.
Making a happy marriage is of course an effort from both partners, thus, if you are a wife who wants to make your marriage happy, it is important that you know how to please your husband.One way of showing your love to your spouse is giving. When you give and know how to please your husband, you will most likely receive more love as well. In a relationship, however, it is important that you give and love unconditionally.For ideas on how to please your husband, here are a few to add to your list. Keep in mind that no matter how small it is, it could be of big help to maintaining a happy marriage.* Listen and pay attention. Listening is one way to settle arguments, appeasing anger between spouse and in decision-making in marriage. If you know how to listen, you will be able to iron out things easily.* Learn to manage your finances well. Do not indulge in luxuries and debts without letting your husband know. Troubled finances between couples often cause arguments and can sometimes lead to divorce, so avoid it from the start.* Take care of your children. Provide them with good food and nutrition, as well as keep them clean. Although parenthood should be a shared responsibility, giving extra care to make the children healthy, clean and well-taught can be a good way on how to please your husband, especially if you are a homemaker.* Limit jealousy. Some levels of jealousy may be flattering to a man or woman but it can also grow into an annoying habit. Before you get into that trouble in your married life, learn to trust your husband. Keep jealousy to a level where it is still admirable. Trust your partner.* Make him enjoy the lovemaking. It is an essential part of marriage and gone are those days that only men can initiate the lovemaking act. Initiating lovemaking with your partner will also make him feel wanted. If you want to please your husband in bed, variety is also a key. You can find many resources online on how to please your husband in bed or ask him what he likes.* Make yourself pleasing. Be attractive for your husband. Not because you are already married you will now quit making yourself beautiful to your husband. Still do. You may not be conscious like before when you were dating, but try to be pleasing at least to the eyes of your husband.* Be loyal to him. Marriage is about commitment to your husband and keeping that promise is indeed a good requisite of a happy marriage. Support your husband in times when he experiences bad days at work or if he is having a hard time with his business.* Appreciate your husband. If you love to be appreciated, so is your partner. Cultivate the habit of being appreciative for things that your husband do for you, for the family and for the marriage. Instead of picking on his weaknesses and finding faults, learn to appreciate him. This way, he will most likely reciprocate it with more good deeds.Knowing how to please your husband indeed is an important thing in making your marriage work. Of course, it takes two to make the relationship a happy and successful one but do not wait for who will start pleasing who. You can start with yourself.
Save my marriage now – that’s all you want to do – what you HAVE to do. Don’t think that your marriage is doomed. It certainly is NOT! A lot of couples face marital issues every day, and they learn to resolve those problems. They have taken their marriage from a point of crisis to a marriage that is stronger than ever before, and now you are going to learn how, too!Marriage Requires WorkA healthy relationship requires work. To keep a marriage healthy, you have to put effort into it. If you don’t, then small problems will snowball, and you will be on your way to an avalanche, and fast! A marriage is made up of good times and bad. It requires that couples learn how to face these problems and tackle them – TOGETHER. Facing marital issues isn’t easy, and it is definitely more difficult if you are the only one trying. But is CAN be done, and your marriage will be stronger in the long run, because of the effort you put into it now.What’s Wrong?Before you can do anything else, you have to find out why the problem started in the first place. If they are willing to talk, talk to your spouse. Ask them what they think the problems is. There are two sides to every story. By seeing things from BOTH sides, you can better understand what is happening, and then you can find ways to resolve those issues.Resolving the Issue at HandLearn how to tackle one problem at a time. There are many different ways to fix a problem. If your first attempt doesn’t work, try something different. If you stop trying when one thing doesn’t work, you are giving up. NEVER give up on your marriage! You got married for a reason! If you are getting more depressed as you try to fix the problems, try to think back to when you had fun in your marriage. By bringing those positive thoughts back into your mind, dealing with problems becomes much easier.You have to be persistent. Don’t try one thing and quit if it doesn’t work. Try to talk to your spouse and see how they think it could be fixed. This may open your eyes to different things you haven’t thought of. The best way to work on a marriage is by both of you working together. I know, sometimes this just isn’t possible. But at least TRY to get your spouse to help.Sometimes, it takes one person’s persistence to make the marriage better to show the other person that it IS worth fighting for! Show your spouse that you want to save your marriage. That may be just what they need to also turn around and start working to save it.
If you’ve been wondering is your marriage in trouble, chances are very good that it is. We all have an inner instinct when it comes to the relationship we share with our spouse. We can detect quite quickly when something is amiss and when the dynamic has shifted. Even if you two don’t openly talk about the friction in the relationship, it can still mean that you’re headed right towards an inevitable separation and then subsequent divorce. It doesn’t have to end up this way though. If you love your partner and you are committed to keeping your family together, you need to recognize the signs that the marriage is falling apart and then take the necessary steps to fix it before it’s too late.A lack of communication in your relationship may be what brings on the question is your marriage in trouble. Once a couple stops talking about the important issues, the relationship is careening towards a divorce. All relationships take work, and this is especially true of marriage. You have to be able to talk with your spouse about everything that affects you both. If you’ve delegated the brunt of your conversations to topics that center around your children or finances, you need to address that. Set aside some time to talk with your partner about your relationship and anything that is bothering either of you. Be patient and understanding when they share what they are feeling. You can’t rebuild the marriage if you don’t have insight into what is troubling your spouse.You also have to put your partner’s needs about your own if you feel that your marriage is in trouble. It’s easy to start to feel resentment towards the person we married if there are issues tearing you two apart. Something like differing views on a parenting situation can actually start to wear away at the foundation of the relationship. If you want to save the relationship, and keep your family intact, learn how to compromise with your partner. Start considering whether winning the argument at hand is worth losing your family over.
Are you trying to heal your broken marriage? If you are like the majority of couples having marital problems, you are feeling very disconnected from your spouse. The first step in beginning to heal a broken marriage is to restore emotional balance to your marriage by to reconnecting with your spouse. In this article we are going to examine some very easy and fun ways to do this. This will not be nearly as difficult as you are imagining. You will be surprised at the kind of response you will receive from the smallest gesture on your part.Three things to remember:
The goal is to reconnect so keep it lighthearted and have some fun. This is your time to remind your spouse why they fell in love with you. Rekindle feelings of the initial attraction between the two of you.
It’s too early to resolve any major problems. So just have a good time. The atmosphere should be carefree and cheerful. Enjoy the casual intimacy.
Keep in mind, your spouse is wounded too. Show some kindness and let your spouse know that you care and your intentions are genuine.
Here are some basic ways to reconnect: You should schedule a regular time to get together – something planned and concrete that you can both expect and look forward to. Below are some ideas as to how to make the most of that time.
Schedule a date night
Take a day trip
Work on a project together
Take a class together
Go for a walk, hike, jog, bike ride
Play a sport together
Take turns deciding what to do
Play Tourist For A Day in Your Own City
Cook Together and For Each Other – Each of You Cook Your Own Dish
Comedy Show, Jazz Clubs, Interactive Dinner Plays
Take Turns Exchange 1 Day Per Month Having A “Spoil-Me” Day
Amusement Park or Water Park
Public Event – Concert, Sporting Event, Play
Rent a Boat for Half a Day
Do the things that you enjoyed doing together before you were marriedand try new things as well.What you are striving for: Your goal is to remind yourselves that things can be easy and effortless in your marriage, not always painful and difficult. Strive to create hope that you can heal what is broken your marriage.
People today have an unrealistic view of marriage, They believe “I feel so good being around this person and I never want that feeling to end.” In God’s eyes, marriage is not just a feeling, it’s a commitment.Even among Christians, many of whom have been negatively influenced by movies,novels and pop culture to be guided only by how the other person makes them feel in other words, by getting goosebumps or butterflies in the stomach and totally ignore things like compatibility and clashing worldviews and you wonder how do I save my marriage?What God has joined together, let no man put asunder-Mark 10v9As Hank Hannegraaf (popular radio host) frequently says, feelings ebb and flow, one minute you might love your spouse and at other times, you don’t, often because of a lot of stupid and trivial stuff, many times involving egos of trying to “win” the argument, you bear a certain level of resentment.Marriage is a commitment, yes it involves love, but it also involves sacrifice of putting your needs and wants aside for the good of both of you, its (marriage) is not just a commitment of two people of the opposite sex, it is a commitment of a man, a woman and God.Understand,that despite the abysmal divorce rate around the world, just because you may have a rocky marriage, divorce must not be your first option.There’s that saying that Divorce is contagious “Our neighbors are selling their house,my co-worker’s wife is running around on him and now he’s going to divorce her as he can’t take it any more”There are legitimate grounds for divorce that are biblically based like infidelity or violence,even so, each marriage is different as you have people in some cases with radically different personalities, not to mention the fact that men and women in general are so different in general.So as you think how do I save my marriage and feel like giving up, it may be time to take some time to think before changing your (or your kid’s if you have any) life before you take such a potentially devastating step.To save your marriage,you both need to be committed to not just “letting it work itself out”.
Your one-and-only isn’t behaving his one-and-only self lately. He’s distracted, spends more time at work, on the Internet, everywhere but with you. He’s not that interested in being intimate – oh, he joins in just fine if you make the moves, but he’s not initiating things. You hear “yes, dear” more often than “sweetheart.” And as you get the kids ready for school one morning, it hits you – he must be having an affair!You know you’ve gained a few pounds since the honeymoon, and with kids-work-chores, who has the time (or energy) for sexy lingerie? Besides, there’s nothing you can do about the years going by and whether it’s Olay or L’Oreal, nothing will restore your prom night skin-tone. Let’s not even talk about how un-sexy credit card payments, hamburger helper and parent-teacher meetings are.How can you compete with all those ready, willing and available fresh-faced pert-breasted short-skirted girls out there?! You throw yourself across your bed in despair, ignoring as best you can the six year old banging at your door “Mommy I’m staaarrrving” because you’re five minutes late with breakfast.You can’t compete. You’re right. But that’s beside the point. You see, the truth of the matter, the secret closely held by happy couples everywhere, is that it isn’t your skin tone, sexy lingerie, or trim waistline that cheat-proofs your marriage, it’s the friendship you have with your spouse.Studies show that fully 70% of men’s satisfaction in the marriage comes from the quality of the couple’s friendship – not from the sex, romance or passion in the marriage. Of course, sex, romance and passion are important, but the foundation of it all is the friendship – and that’s what we tend to overlook when we fear our men have strayed.We quickly lose weight, get our hair permed/colored/cut, buy the latest “erotic fantasy fashion” – which is all fine, but doesn’t address the most likely underlying dilemma. What happened to your friendship? And what does that mean anyway?Because your friendship with your spouse doesn’t mean (like it does with your girlfriends, Mom or hairdresser) pouring out your emotional guts at every turn. It means:1. Don’t take him for granted. Pay attention to who he is and what he does, instead of taking him for granted, which is what we too often do after that first year or two of being together.2. Remain engaged in his world. Most often that means – remain interested in and enthusiastic about his work and hobbies.Why do you think so often a guy gets involved with someone at his work? It’s not like there aren’t lots of cuties who cross his path every day outside of work. No, it’s that the cutie at work openly expresses her appreciation for who your guy is and does, and – importantly – she’s someone he can talk about his work with who doesn’t cut him off with “That’s nice dear, could you fix the toilet please” just as he really gets going.That’s also why she doesn’t even have to be all that cute. Just appreciative in a way that you no longer are, and interested in what he’s up to, in what he’s interested in – in a way you no longer are.The fix?Look at your man with fresh eyes. Notice how lovable, generous, handsome, sexy or helpful he is, and tell him about it. Thank him for anything and everything he does or is that pleases you.Be interested in and supportive of whatever is important to him. Listen to him talk about his work, remember names, situations or events that are relevant to him. Don’t diss his hobbies or friends – they matter to him, they should matter to you.Isn’t that, after all, what you do for your best friends? You tell them how great they are, and you support whatever makes them happy. Yes, there are other components to friendship, such as being trustworthy and reliable, but you get the gist.True, nothing can guarantee a cheat-proof marriage, but keeping the friendship aspect of your relationship front and center can go a long way towards ensuring your happily-ever-after.
It is very difficult to come to the conclusions that your marriage is in need of counseling, but in truth it should be a very welcome and easy thing to decide. It is natural for people or couples to have difficulty in admitting their failings. No one likes to believe that they are having trouble, particularly in today’s western culture where so many people try to put up a grand façade. In most cases trouble in a marriage is rarely seen by anyone outside the marriage because couples do such a wonderful job disguising their issues. However, finding a marriage counselor in our society is relatively easy to do, marriage counseling is sought out by more couples that you might expect and is more successful than most people realize.Finding a marriage counselor is far easier that most people think. When I first sought out help for my own marriage I had no idea where to start. As an adult I had never been to a psychiatrist or psychologist. The first place I turned was the local phone book and the Internet. Both of these sources proved to be extremely helpful as I was able to find several marriage counselors in the area.The initial interview took place on the phone. The marriage counselor will want to make sure that they are a good fit for your particular problem and personalities. I answered a series of simple questions designed to help them see who my wife and I were. Secondly, they wanted to see how we expected to pay. It was all set up and scheduled quickly and efficiently.