Is you marriage in trouble? Do you want to save your marriage? Then you are on the right track by clicking on this article and reading it. As they say, there is no such thing as a coincidence and the fact that you are reading this article right now may have some significance. First of all, you must congratulate yourself from wanting to save your marriage. That only means that you have taken the first important step in salvaging a relationship. Give yourself a pat on the back. Of course it is not right to stop right there. Take the other steps. If you don’t know what they are then this article will be a big help for you. Next Step: Find the Problem. Now that you have acknowledged that there is a problem in your relationship then the next logical step is to determine what the problem is. Every troubled marriage has a root cause and that is what you should find. One of the best places to look for clues are your differences, the differences that come up every time you and your spouse argue with each other. There must be an underlying theme to all your fights. Once you recall what it is, then you already know the main problem in your relationship. Then it is time to move on to the next step. Next Step: Fix the Problem. OK, to fix the problem is easier said than done. Sometimes though, the solutions to our problems are right under your noses. The reason why many couples are not taking the necessary steps to solve their marital problems is because either they are too lazy or too scared to do so. Implementing solutions require effort and most human being avoid exerting effort. If only people would be able to fight off the emotional inertia that is stopping them from trying out the solutions to solve their problems then there would be significantly less divorce cases all over the world. Final Step: The Follow Up. If you were successful in bringing life back to your marriage do not think for a moment that the work is done. In fact, you have only just began. You must stand vigilant never to allow small problem to become big issue. Failure to do this may result in another break up in the future. If you want to save your marriage, then you will be willing to work on it every single day. If you want to save your marriage then remember these steps.
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There is one thing you MUST know when it comes to saving your marriage that you may not have heard before.If you are crawling on your belly to try and get your marriage back, this secret wont help you. I won’t help you commit a crime against your own dignity.But if you are REALLY ready to know what it takes, read further.Understanding what is going on inside your spouse’s mind will help you know what you should do to make saving your marriage work for you.Before your marriage lost that spark, your spouse was emotionally available to you. He/she invested emotionally based on your commitment to each other.You are now faced with losing your spouse because he/she does not want to INVEST emotionally in the relationship.But if you understand basic psychological principles of human nature, you can help your spouse see you as irresistible almost overnight.The reason why we tell you to stop begging, acting needy, or promising to change is because these are not behavior patterns that drive attraction through the roof.People who save their marriage know something you don’t and what they know worked for them. The secret they know is that it takes attraction to get your spouse back.That means that you have to get your spouse to emotionally invest in the relationship again. In order to do this, you have to come up higher in the game from the place where you were dumped.The people who won their husbands or wife back INCREASED their value in a way that it caused their spouse to FEEL attraction. The partner who wanted out found them to be emotionally attractive again because of the attitudes that were portrayed based on their behavior.
Praise can help improve and even transform your marriage. When you generously praise your spouse, they’ll feel loved and appreciated. And when you learn to look for the good in your spouse, your appreciation and love for them will grow, too. So here’s four simple tips to help you become better at praise:Tip #1: Catch your spouse doing good thingsCritical people are ready to catch others doing wrong things. They’re ready to jump on people whenever they do something wrong. You’ve got to be like that – except instead of noticing bad things, you’ve got to become good at noticing the good things that your spouse does. And it’s not just the big things that matter: it’s also the little routine things that matter, too. Sure, notice the fact that they got a promotion. But also notice how they faithfully make lunch for the kids each day. Notice when they tidy the house. Notice when they pay the bills on time. Be on the lookout for all the good things your spouse does!Tip #2: Make your praise SpecificHaving taken notice of all the good things your spouse does, let them know how much you appreciate their efforts. Put your appreciation into words – and be sure to make your appreciation specific! Don’t just say “I appreciate all that you do for the kids”; instead, say “Honey, I really appreciate the way you make lunch for the kids – day after day. I really am thankful for all your hard work”. Specific praise is genuine praise: it will mean more to your spouse if it’s specific.Tip #3: Praise regularlyIt’s great to praise – but praise “leaks” – there’s always more required. Don’t just praise once a year, but do it regularly. Aim to find something to praise your spouse for on a daily basis. If you make this your goal, then you’ll more likely look for things to praise your spouse for. And if you look, you will find. (Note: don’t always praise them for the same things. It’s great that you notice how good their cooking is: but make sure you notice other things, such as how good a friend they are to you etc).Tip #4: Make sure you mean it! This might sound obvious. But I’ve got to say it. Your praise has to be heartfelt and genuine. Otherwise it’s called manipulation. So make sure you mean what you say. Don’t tell them how thoughtful they are, when in fact they’ve just forgotten your anniversary. Make sure you really mean it. Otherwise your spouse will think you’re lying, and really not appreciate any of your praise.ConclusionBy being regular with your praise, you’ll help your spouse feel appreciated, loved, and respected. And you’ll start to appreciate your spouse more as well. You’ll both enjoy marriage a lot more as a result.
I get a lot of emails or questions about what a wife should do if her husband leaves the home. One example is the one I got over the weekend where the wife told me that her husband would not disclose where he was going or how long he would be gone. He had basically told her that he had no idea when he was coming back or even if he was. The wife wanted to know how she should handle this. Of course, she was worried sick about both him and the marriage. But, his leaving had made it very clear that he wanted some time and space. Intellectually, she knew that she should probably honor this request, but emotionally, she could not imagine just allowing this to progress naturally. I’ll share with you what I told her in the following article.Don’t Allow Your Wanting Him To Come Home Too Soon To Drive You To Make Overly Emotional Decisions: I know that if you’ve found this article, you probably want your husband home nearly immediately. And the longer he’s gone, the worse this feels. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead you to make rash or overly emotional decisions. In truth, your husband likely left to get a break from the situation in the hopes that the high emotions would calm down and that you could both think a bit more rationally. So, if you push him or continuously call or nag or try to engage him as to why he is doing this, you are only giving him more of what he was already trying to escape and this can actually make the situation worse and set you back in terms of time.I know that it’s very difficult, but try very hard to let the time and space happen and doing so will often allow the situation to slightly improve even if the improvement is only due to a lessening of the growing tension. I know that there’s a distinct possibility that you may have said or done some things that you regret and there will be a time to communicate this, but this time is often not immediately after he leaves. Give both of you the time to calm down and to reflect a bit before you attempt to make or receive contact.Controlling What He Thinks (And Hopefully Feels) When He Thinks About You: It’s highly likely that he’s at a crossroads right now. He’s not sure if he’s better off in the marriage or outside of it. He’s likely going to think about you and the marriage as he struggles to decide which way that he wants to go. This will likely include past memories and recent ones. Do you really want to give him a glimpse of you as needy and desperate so that this is what he can think of when he ponders this? Of course not. You want for him to see you as a positive influence rather than a negative one. Always keep this in the back of your mind before you act. I know that this is easier said than done, but it’s so necessary.And, here’s what you have in your corner, although you might now realize it right now. You already know what attracts him and draws him to you in terms of behavior. So, this is what you want to give him to ponder right now. Now, you may have already behaved in a way that runs counter to this. But, tomorrow is a new day and you’ll focus on controlling what you can. There will come a time when you will need to or be able to interact with him. When that day comes, you want to draw on your best self so that when he remembers back on that encounter, he’s pleasantly surprised and not drawing on memories of someone who is desperate, high maintenance, needy, or unattractive, which brings me to my next point.Spend Your Time Doing The Things That Strengthen You: I know that you probably have a burning desire to text or call him and then to watch sad movies or listen to sad songs or hang out with friends who are also going through a break up. While this might provide some comfort momentarily, it’s not your best bet for the long term. You want to concentrate on doing things that strengthen you and make you feel strong and competent. This might feel counter productive at the time, but it truly is not up.Surround yourself with positive, upbeat people. If you are going to focus on your appearance, focus on doing things that make you feel better, not worse. Don’t beat yourself up or tell yourself if you were a better wife or had more to offer, this would not have happened. Instead, focus on what you can do moving forward. Do whatever you need to do to improve yourself and build your confidence. This is going to work for you in a couple of ways. First, it’s going to make you more attractive to him. Confidence and competence is appealing and attractive. But, more than that, it’s going to make you feel a little bit better and provide you with a little relief. I know that you may feel that this plan is risky, but it’s really the only way to set it up so that you know he’s coming back of his own free will. If you give in to the negative feelings and guilt or beg him back, you will always wonder deep down if he came back for the right reasons of his own free will. It’s also important that you focus on bonding and resuming the closeness before you try to pick apart or “work on” your marriage. If you are already on shaky ground, you don’t want to reintroduce any huge stressors until the relationship is able to endure this.
Are you suffering in your matrimonial home and this is bothering you to the point of divorce? I have a good news for the people in your category. Love is able to change our world,our families, our marriages, and even the religion conflicts that are usually happens among Christian and Muslim. A pastor was visited by a woman full of hatred toward her husband. Not only did she want to divorce him, but also wanted to cause him as much pain as possible.Four Steps were suggested for the woman in which I will highlight below.Step 1: that she should go home and act as if she really love her husband.Step 2: that she was to tell her husband how he meant to her.Step 3:that she should be as kind as she could to her husband.Step 4: after having convinced the husband of her undying love, she would then inform him about wanting a divorce. That would surely all but guarantee hurting the husband as much as possible.With revenge in her eyes, she did just that, lavishing love on him for the period of a few months as she never did before. Then, the Pastor called her and asked about her divorce. But the woman said “No Way!” “I discovered I really love my husband.” I’m sure somebody’s testimony will come as you apply this four magic steps to save your marriage from divorce.You have to take note of something as a woman that is usually beaten by the husband. And because of that you want to divorce in order to get hook to another man. Is this the solution to your problems? No! The man you want to divorce may better the one you are prepare to marry soon. So instead of thinking of separation, while can’t you make use of another method to win your love back and enjoy your home. This is my advice.
“My wife is always mad at me, nothing I do can make my wife happy.” Do you have similar problems like this? Are you calling help for your troubled marriage?Any little thing can let her go off and blast at you. Think about it carefully. Did she tell you anything over a million times and has been complaining that you did not change your ways? Your wife is most likely a systematic person and she likes things to be done a certain manner. When she cannot stand it anymore, she will find everything irritating as long as it is related to you.Things can get worse if both of you don’t talk very much. The only way to fix the marriage is to identify the problems that are bothering her now. The reasons are still unknown. It may be more than just you alone. Probably, she is also unhappy because of other factors such as work, children, parents, money, etc. All these can also be the reasons why your wife is always mad at you.Find a good time to share with her about your concerns. Talk to her nicely and explain in a tactful manner how you want the marriage to get better. Most likely, she will be agitated when she tells you her problems. Maybe some of the things that she says can sound nasty, try to control your emotions and never argue back with her if you hear anything that you do not like.If you want your wife to stop being mad at you, stand by her side. Agree with her about the problems she raises and she will feel better when you try to understand her situation. Assure her with solutions to tackle the troubles in the marriage.Your wife not only needs attention, care and love from you, she also needs romance in her marriage. This is going to keep your marriage alive till you are old. One of the best ways is to plan and bring her to a romantic holiday.As long as you can understand what women think, you should be able to turn your wife into a loving lady. There are many psychological tactics that can win your wife’s heart back. These tactics can help to fix the worst situation with your wife easily.
Marriage relationship help is sometimes a necessity. Especially when your marital problems are overwhelming, and seem impossible to solve. Sometimes is just takes a perspective and view from someone who is not emotionally tangled up in the problems.This fresh look can open the eyes of the couple involved and help them find ways to approach their problems that are insightful and different from what they have already tried. Being too proud to ask for help has led many marriages down the path of no return. Counseling can work, if the couple wants it bad enough.Marital problems are the kinds that seem too complicated to solve, when many find through marriage relationship help that they’re a lot simpler than they would have thought. They can be like the dog with a big bark whose bite wasn’t much at all.It comes from people allowing the problem to become too big in their mind. It’s amazing how these problems can sometimes just disappear when the focus is set on the right things.Many people become so focused on the tiny problems, that they lose sight of the wonderful things that are so big and beautiful. Then the problems seem bigger than the enchantment, when in reality, they’re not.Marriage relationship help should always be sought after when it seems there’s no way to go. You’ve discussed your marital problems until you just can’t talk about them anymore, and you’re out of ideas. Then help can be a great thing, and can save your marriage.
If you take a look at the couples around you, it will become obvious that many were not paying attention while they were reciting their wedding vows. There are many reasons for this, none that are truly acceptable, but none the less there are reasons. Most couples, when they are getting married, seemed to be more focused on what they are wearing, how they look, who is there and who is missing. Other may not think about it because they are “in love” and feel that they already know what they want and what they want to pledge to their loved one.The true problem with this is that these couples, may not know what it actually means to be in love. That initial feeling between to people, the butterflies in your stomach, this is all puppy love, in my opinion. There is a huge difference between actually loving someone and being in love with someone.When you take care of your elderly grandparents and change them or feed them, you do that out of love. Which is, in my opinion, a far cry from the hearts and flowers feeling of being “in love”. Don’t get me wrong, it is not that it is not valid or a good reason to be with someone, but there absolutely must be more.A successful marriage must have companionship and friendship that can withstand the test of time. During a marriage you and your spouse village, hair will and teeth will be lost, and sometimes so will the mind. Ten, fifteen even 40 years down the road, you should be able to look at your spouse and love them just as much as you did, if not more, due to the life and experiences you have shared. This is more then just a romance novel love, this is the strongest type of love that there is.You need to realize that even though you may have fell in love with his smile and full head of hair, that will all change. You will begin to love him more for standing bedside you, through all the joys and sorrows that you have experienced throughout your life together. You will watch him go from a young, sexy boy into a responsible and secure older man. You need to be able to say, if I was to go back in time, I would choose him all over again.For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and cherish for as long as you both shall live. It won’t be without problems, changes or things to adapt to and deal with. Marriage problems are the glue of the marriage itself, for with each one you conquer the marriage becomes stronger than ever before. So don’t get divorced…GET REAL!
“Every divorce is the death of a small civilization”. – Pat ConroyThere seems to be a resurgence in America of good old fashioned regard for the institution of marriage. It appears to be driven partly by a disdain for celebrity relationship ‘adventurism’, partly because of the state of the economy which, by itself has held couples together, partly, I believe, because there’s a renewal of belief in a more spiritual, less materialistic life. I believe we’re turning away from consumerism, toward a society that values inner satisfaction over retail therapy and credit-card cures.The economic argument seems counterintuitive, considering that economic strains often drive people apart, which often leads to more satisfaction through shopping, which causes more distance and on and on. But those same stresses can uncover a backlog of issues that are becoming irrelevant in comparison with holding the family together. I believe we’re beginning to address some of those issues, and that the financial mess we’re in has become a focal point of change, the silver lining, if you will. People are staying together. The trend is good news for the country, and the community.The numbers are pretty remarkable. Between 1991 and 2002 the divorce rate fell in this country from the Census Bureau’s often-cited 50% rate, the proportion of marriages taking place that will eventually end in divorce, downward to roughly 43% by the National Center for Health Statistics. Most recently, according to the New York Times, it’s been revised further downward to just over 40%. So that commonly heard half of all marriages end in divorce statistic we keep tossing around isn’t true. Granted, 40% of marriages ending is still a sad commentary on our ability to work out differences, and remain true to our wedding vows, but the trend is encouraging.Are we marrying later? A bit. The average age at marriage now is 26 for women and 27 for men. Maturity always helps. But that can’t explain it fully. Is divorce harder to obtain? Perhaps, or maybe the aforementioned maturity has made us more aware of those costs. Divorce is a $28 Billion (Yes, the ‘B’ word) dollar industry in the U.S. And the average divorce costs about $20,000. That realization would deter a lot of people.But that can’t be the whole reason. I believe there’s a more humanistic answer here, and I believe it has to do with our evolving understanding that marriage is truly a status to be entered into well, and given every opportunity to succeed.I direct this piece at men, partly because, being one myself, I speak with a bit of authority on this issue. Plus, as a divorced man, my familiarity with it is doubly authoritative. I know first hand how disruptive and painful a separation and divorce can be, and almost always are. Particularly when there are children involved, the anxiety, dashed expectations and unattractive outcomes cause all manner of reassessment of who we thought we were. Divorce hurts a lot of people, and I believe the word is out on the street that divorce really sucks, deterring some from following that path too easily, or quickly. I can attest that it really does, and it really is.We men have a unique opportunity to have an impact on this issue. Since we appear to be hard wired toward more individualism, less inclined to stay in one spot and try to flourish there, we need to look at a different aspect of our male-ness, our respect and admiration for other mens’ perseverance, especially when life gets tough, and others encourage us to follow our own instincts. But we also need to be more aware, and more supportive of other mens’ overtures toward their gentler, more human side. We all feel the urge to reach out to our spouses when things get tense. We’re beginning to see that we can give in to those emotions, and still retain our identity as males in this culture, and perhaps even enhance it. Along those lines there’s a touching story that comes to us from the Cherokee Indians about two wolves.One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.’The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’The grandson thought for a minute, and then asked his grandfather, ‘Which wolf wins?’The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’Next time your spouse expects something from you that causes you to revert to the bad wolf, remember that expression, and feed the good wolf. Your marriage, and your self-image will be better for it. We men have, I believe, an obligation to our colleagues and ourselves, to admire those who feed the good wolf, encourage them to continue that behavior, and seek others like us to do the same.
As married couple, there are some things that must be in your marriage for your marriage to be on the positive side of matrimony. This is what I call kiss principle of marriage.’K’ – Kindness: You must learn to be kind to each other, do anything to show kindness and love. Speak kind words to your mate, relate kindly, act kindly and operate kindly. Be generally kind to your spouse, do not allow anger to degenerate in to bitterness, deal with anger, forgive your spouse and reconcile.’I’ – Intimacy: Do everything to draw closer to your mate, create bonding and togetherness. Don’t just join your hands together, join your mind. Don’t just join your body, join your soul. Don’t just be alike, be the same. Be intimate, be friendly, be interwoven, be available to each other, and let the Lord take the glory.’S’ – Support: Give adequate support to each other. Be a pillar, refuge and shield to your spouse. Give moral, physical, financial, spiritual and mental support to your mate. Never leave your spouse desolate nor defenseless, you are the only one he or she has. Please do not disappoint but give support. Be there for the one you married. Marriage is not just about sex and romance, it is about all round support and supply of energy to you mate.’S’ – Surprise: Give your marriage a new meaning by learning how to always surprise your mate with a good deed. Cultivate the habit of giving surprise gifts, birthday bash, surprise date, surprise visit in the office. Give room for surprise elements in your marriage and try to impress each other with positive surprises. Do something that will make your spouse cry for joy, do this without telling him or her ahead of time.