Building a lasting marriage relationship begins way before the actual marriage. It begins not even during courtship but much earlier. It must begin at a point when a person who intends to form a family contemplates of the thought and does adequate preparation. This preparation has got to be guided not only by the socially accepted norms but also but those not accepted. Any person who wants to one day be in a marriage relationship must thoroughly understand what norms guides them in their society. The purpose of these norms is to assist in building of basic minimum principals that one would accept.In a society that does not mind multiple relationship for instance, such a person must ask-do I accept such? Does such a norm enable me fulfill my vision of a marriage relationship? As you define that, also audit those norms that you consider unacceptable to you or to your future marriage. Once these have been defined, they help you make a picture of what you would like and dislike.To distinguish between like and dislikes the society has some predefined roles and expectations of each party in a marriage. We don’t need to go through them in detail because most literature is based on them but just to mention them in random and without categorizing them they are:- Provision of protection-social and economic.-Love and companionship-emotional and psychological.-Procreation-Faithfulness-to one marriage partner or those agreed upon in case of a multiple partner set up.- Vision-providing direction for the future.- Spiritual growth-Providing a basis for the connection with the supernatural.Our life experiences and those of others are valuable books to learn from. Lessons learnt need not be positive or negative only but should assist in improving our own lives. Sure, each person has dislikes and likes. As far as marriage is concerned one does not pay much attention to them . As a result many end up in a relationships that leads to marriage without much contemplation. Many have found themselves already dating without knowing they are actually dating. In the process, one gets into marriage by seeing themselves fulfilling some of the expected roles of a married couple. Thus they find themselves doing what they actually thought their neighbors, friends or relatives would have avoided. In other words they do not learn from others’ lessons.Before getting into a marriage it would help to ask yourself:- What do you like most about those you consider to be in a perfect marriage?- What do you loath in a marriage that you hate in your community?-How do you think you can better the relationship given a chance?- Did you plan to get into the relationship that you are in nowThese questions would make you begin to visualize your own marriage situation. The aim is not to be judgmental but to draw up possible grid that you would use to navigate through your marriage.
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Looking for ways to strengthen your marriage? Then you might have probably sought a marriage problem advice from someone that you really trust. The question is, did the advice work? Different married couples face different kinds of marital problems but there are essentially three things that help strengthen marriage.One of the things that strengthen marital ties is keeping a lid on your anger. This is also a very common marriage problem advice because it simply helps. A marriage can break down if there is too much stress and strain between the couple. To keep matters from getting worse, better get hold of your emotions and lessen your anger.You will also need to keep your promises. Once you have made a promise, stick to your word. If you tend not to keep your side of the bargain, you will often find yourselves fighting over little that were left undone. Even the smallest of arguments can be annoying especially when they happen rather frequently.It also helps to learn to say that you are sorry. Pointing fingers at each other will not help. If you believe you have exhibited some form of destructive behavior, then you better apologize. It can be difficult to change for the better almost instantly but with your partner’s help, you surely can.Perhaps the best marriage problem advice that anyone can give is to keep the relationship interesting. This advice never fails to work. Do not allow yourselves to slowly slip away from each other. Always try to spend more time with your partner than with your friends. You may need to attend to some personal needs for leisure every now and then but that does not mean you will always be out with your friends. Spending more time with your partner and coming up with surprises can help much in keeping the passion alive.
One of the most common problems in any relationship is the ability to communicate clearly with your partner. There are secrets to building a better marriage once you discover the power of positive communication.Sometime during your life you’ve probably played the telephone game. Remember sitting in a large circle of friends or students or perhaps in a line? The first person comes up with a simple phrase that should be easily remembered and whispers it to the second person. The only rule is that it needs to be passed one person at a time and in such a way that no one else can hear.Usually after the message travels past the fourth or fifth person it has already become something unrecognizable by the person who began the message. It’s a lot of fun to play but the sad thing is it plays out all the time in our relationships.Have you ever asked your partner to do something and they thought you said something completely different? It happened to me just the other day. In the shower, I thought she asked me to wash her face, which I do fairly often. What she did say was “watch my face”. Oops! As I lathered my hands and moved towards her she jumped back excitedly. Close call.We were in a hurry and just because its summertime and it was hot we decided to take a quick shower before getting dressed for dinner. Earlier she had already done her makeup and didn’t want to disturb it. We both had a good laugh and fortunately we communicate really well with each other.When you are trying to build a better marriage you will need positive communication. Simply put, be sure you understand what your partner is asking or stating. Be certain to positively clarify as you navigate a conversation. Without judgment simply respond with something like, so what I hear you saying is…and then restate what you believe you heard. Over time this becomes more natural and both partners will benefit.It doesn’t always play out this easily, don’t be discouraged. It has taken both of your efforts to get here. One person taking the initiative to make positive changes can make the difference in a relationship. With the proper assistance you will be on your way quickly to restoring your relationship.
“Save my marriage!” If you are one of those shouting this plea at the top of your lungs then you have come to the right place. This article is devoted to ways that couples can salvage a troubled marriage. The first thing that you should know is that you are not alone. As this article is being written (and as you are reading this right now) thousands upon thousands of married couples all over the world are experiencing the same problems that you and your spouse are experiencing. If only they are as lucky as you are in stumbling upon this little article about how to save a marriage. In pleading, “save my marriage,” you have already taken the important first step in salvaging your relationship and that is to ask for help. The reason why you found this article is because you are seeking help about your problem. Sadly, many couples fail to even reach this stage. This is because many of them are in denial that they are already having problems. The shame comes from the fact that marital failure is considered by many as personal failure. Nobody wants to look like losers right? And no one wants to admit that they have failed. Looking like a loser is an important step in saving a marriage. By admitting that you have a problem, then you can start seeking for a solution. There is an underlying reason for all marital problems and this is what you should search for. The best way to look for it is to recall trends or patterns in arguments between you and your spouse. Try to determine a common issue that sprouts up whenever you two fight. Is it money? A bad habit? A sin from the past? Whatever it is you must find it then deal with it appropriately. Failure to do this step may result in the same issue coming up in the future. So even if you were successful in saving the marriage for now, troubles will likely arise not long after your reconciliation. After you have found the underlying problem now is the time to fix it. Whatever the problem is you must fix it together. After all, it takes two to dance the tango. Either you solve the problem together or do not solve it at all. Congratulations for shouting “save my marriage!” You are on the right track.
How to reach a partner that’s in emotional shutdown? Sorry to have to point this out to you but if you are trying to reach a non-communicative partner you have let things deteriorate into a really bad situation. This kind of person has had it and thinks jumping ship is the solution.As bad as it may look you can take comfort from the fact that there is no situation that is hopeless. You just need to get your partner to a point where at least there is free conversation between the two of you. Decide to treat your partner like your friend. Talk to them as you would a friend. Do not always bring up the state of your marriage every time you want to talk.Try different environments for talking about the subject. There are some places that make for really good conversation. Choose the time wisely. Do not approach your partner when they are in a rush, when you can clearly see they have been having a bad day. Wait for a time when you can see they are a bit more relaxed and willing to talk. Reflect on some of these things when you want to know how to reach a partner who is in emotional shutdown.Your partner has to confront the situation, being in denial does not help and running away only makes it worse. Point out to your partner the silence does not improve anything. If they are not willing to talk to you at least try to get them to talk with someone; anyone even a counselor. Find out on all the ways that you can use on how to reach a spouse who is in emotional shutdown. Lots of material is available on the subject.
It’s a well established fact that more marriages fail than survive. When a marriage crisis occurs it is commonly the result of negative relationship routines created over time. Prior to a couple being able to put an end to the marriage crisis they need to be aware that each partner wants the same end result, to take pleasure in a positive marriage. If it is only one person’s goal it can still be overcome but it will be more difficult.Some level of marriage crisis will inevitably come up from time to time. The continuation and damaging behavior may be avoided by two partners who are aware of the difficult issues at hand and are able to communicate their personal commitment to the marriage. Unfortunately if communication is lacking, again the couple may need greater assistance to bridge the gap.When beginning into a marriage, life is good. Both spouses are faithful and try their hardest to satisfy the other. Love is all around and there is no time for conflict. Over time the majority of married couples will face obstacles they weren’t aware of or even thought were possible. How the individuals answer to the conflict will dictate their level of success and ability to persevere as husband and wife.If in a marriage the husband and wife don’t discover how to address the crisis in a positive and nurturing way the marriage is sure to be among the failed marriage statistics. The crucial element in understanding how to deal with conflict is to listen to and share ideas with your spouse. Honestly listening to needs and desires and then restating them in a non-judgmental way creates the team effort needed in a marriage. once abvle to communicate in this fashion it is then possible to establish your own needs and desires and share them with your spouse.If an exchange of ideas is difficult or if there is a pattern of one or both spouses struggling to divulge their thoughts and ideas then it may require an independent source to aid in the conversation. Both partners play a role in the direction a marriage goes. One partner making the effort to produce encouraging outcomes can affect the difference in a marriage. With a little effort and guidance you’ll both be moving in the right direction and will soon end the marriage crisis. Rest assured that then you will take pleasure in a positive marriage.
You’re an adult…of COURSE you know what foreplay is. You have some background with the female anatomy. You realize that even though your rocket ship is ready to launch with as little as a 2 second thought about sex, she needs stimulation.Remember when you got her REALLY hot and bothered? Sure there has been good sex and great sex. I’m sure that even with minimal foreplay and a steamy encounter, you’ve managed to have great sex.Here’s a tip on how to have GREAT and even “Off the Chart” phenomenal sex. Surprise! It has nothing to do with your endowment or your breath (although that helps) No, stud…the secret to having phenomenal sex is 100% psychological.Men think with their penis and women think with their heart. In order for you two to connect and really have a satisfying sex life, you HAVE to speak to her heart.Below are 8 surefire ideas to get her hot and bothered BEFORE you enter the room. Once you do any number of these, prepare to be attacked by a very passionate lady.1. Leave post-it notes around the room that are ROMANTIC. Profess your undying love, dedication, and attraction to her. Leave out your penis size please. Think “Chick Flick” not porn here. Proper words and gestures are critical to cracking the female mind.2. Send her flowers for NO reason whatsoever. Statistics show that 99.3% of all flower orders are for a specific occasion or season. Less than 1% of studs out there realize that a $25 flower arrangement “just because” has more power than a month supply of that “blue pill.”3. Tell one of her friends how much you adore her and love her. Don’t be obvious here. Next time you are at a party or event and you find yourself talking to one of her friends, mention how lucky you are and how you put your girl on a pedestal. Word will get back to your squeeze and hello, she’ll be all over you!4. Do a chore around the house WITHOUT being asked. Next time the game comes on and you are all set to relax and watch your favorite team pound the daylights out of their rivals, take a moment and PURPOSELY miss the first 4-5 minutes of the game. Pick one of your honey-do items and get it done. (You’ve already set the Tivo-right?) When she sees that you’ve sacrificed even a few minutes of your favorite past time for her, she’ll melt.5. Ask her about her day and REALLY listen. I know…this may be pretty tough, but give it a try. She might not instantly want to jump in the sack, but the long term effects will surely begin. Don’t try to solve ANY problem she talks about. Just listen, nod your head, and act like a girl. She won’t think you’ve gone gay, buddy. But she will be shocked at your metrosexual understanding and compassion.6. Schedule one-on-one time with your kids. This has the added benefit of actually being fun! You get serious double points for taking one of your daughters shopping or your son to the zoo. When your bride sees a pro-active father, their confidence and security goes up. It really melts her heart. Don’t ever talk about how cool you are, by the way. It dilutes the sincerity of what you are suppposed to do anyway, you workaholic!7. Draw a bubble bath, leave rose petals on the bedroom floor, light some candles and get out of the way! When you set up that relaxing and romantic atmosphere you should NOT expect to get lucky. She can smell that set up a mile away. Just PAMPER her! If you honestly do not expect to get any action from this sanctuary of peace, you are MORE likely to actually get it! Any anticipated “payback” makes the gesture seem cheap and contrived.8. Send her (and a female friend for bonus points) to a spa for 1/2 or full day. If you have the means, don’t put any restriction on the services or amount they can spend. This gesture is a 100% home run for your sex life. She will come back feeling and looking sexier than ever. If you are on a budget, ask her what she wants but has never done. If that mud massage or facial is something she’s only dreamed about, make her dream come true. (Depending on your skills, do what you can to get that FULL wax job on her. You will both benefit from that service, I guarantee it!)Get the idea, Chuck? When you are sincere, generous, and a little bit more in touch with the feminine mind, you will melt her heart even when you are not around. Speaking her language is the key to increased connection in your relationship and more satisfying sex. Most women have HUGE sex drives and tremendous passion. Your key to unlocking it is simply to take your time, be generous, and be gentle. Relax, my friend….she will be begging for you nightly before you know it.
You try very hard to get your husband’s attention, but he is not showing any reaction. It seems that he is no longer interested in you because you feel a detachment in the marriage. Sometimes, when a couple moves into a daily routine of maintaining the household and raising children, the relationship may not be as sweet and romantic as before. In the end, you start to wonder how you can get your husband to pay attention to you.Stop showing out your emotionsDo not try to beg or quarrel with your husband over this problem. Your husband will think that you are being dramatic whenever you do that and hence he will not treat this problem seriously. He knows that you will care for him no matter what and this is going to let do whatever he wants. Instead of focusing how to get your husband to pay attention to you, you should focus on how to make yourself feel better by participating in a new sport or going out with your friends. Let him know that your world is not only about him alone.Reflect on yourselfIf you want your husband to pay more attention to you, ask yourself, have you been doing the same to him? Maybe you think that he is not trying hard to understand your needs, but think in another way, do you understand his needs as well? Have an honest chat with him, talk to him slowly about the problems between both of you and let him know how both of you can improve the relationship.Take initiativeSometimes because of juggling between household, children, work and relationship, a couple can be quite stressed up in the marriage. He may show signs of wanting to have a break, but yet not taking the initiatives to do anything about it. Take a step forward to do something for this marriage, bring the kids to a baby sitter and arrange to go and do something that both of you can enjoy.It is not really a big problem to get your husband to pay attention to you. As long as you know the right ways to deal with your marriage problems, you should be able to capture his attention and win his heart back.