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Marriage Counseling – When to Save Your Relationship?

Successful marriages are a product of a mix of various components. Two of the most important ones are happiness and fulfillment. If these are not present, this, together with other factors, can eventually cause marriage disaster.While not every marriage can be saved, and some are doomed regardless, marriage counseling works for many. Teaching the basic principles that are taught in counseling sessions can help save a marriage from destruction and help couples back onto the path of a fulfilling marriage. The willingness of both parties in the marriage to work to restore the relationship is really the ultimate factor that drives success in marriage counseling. We’ll discuss later some of the reasons and factors for success or failure of the relationship.There is no end to the ways that couples can create conflict in their relationships. And there are many reasons why couples seek marriage counseling. All marriages are beset with difficulties at some point in the relationship. Sadly, many do not survive them, and become numbered in the divorce statistics.Marriage counseling is most often sought when couples reach a point of frustration, much sadness and severe hurt in the relationship. Yet, these troubles have not arisen from nowhere, and may have been brewing for many years. Yet usually the only time people seek out marriage counseling is when the relationship is already nearly broken down. If couples would seek counseling back when their difficulties begin, before they add the layers of hurt and misunderstanding, the success rate of counseling would be greatly improved.Everyone wants to strive for happiness, but our often fantasized ideal of happiness is seldom experienced in the real world. A marriage relationship is hard work. It requires each partner to often suspend their ego, not fixate on who is right and who is wrong, but to try to find compromise, to get around the issues that divide them. Accepting the reality of a more achievable happiness requires a sensible and realistic approach, and learning to drop that insistence on being “right” is a good first step, both in a marriage and in entering marriage counseling. Without this, all may be in vain.As may be seen in this article, working to save a marriage is the central discussion. But, what of the couples that insist on divorce? Sometimes, even couples who have reached this point in their marriage can be helped to retrieve it through counseling. But even if the marriage cannot be saved, using counseling to help couples divorce amicably, even transform into friends, lean how to be willing co-parents to their children, etc., can lessen the pain and help people achieve a more constructive process. During the stages of dissolving the marriage, extreme emotions are likely to be felt.The physical and emotional separation may aggravate feeling of pain, loss, mourning and distress. Marriage counseling can often be of great help during this period as it can help couples express emotions that have not been fully expressed, and clear the air for a new beginning as divorced people.Once you begin to see the signs of distress in the marriage is the time to seek marriage counseling. It’s best not to wait until the layers of hurt and anger have created pain that may never be healed. Seeking counseling at the earliest possible time gives the very best chance of saving the relationship and renewing it. Waiting too long too often means waiting until it is too late to save the marriage.

Perfect Marriage Relationship

The other day a friend of mine asked me “do you think there is such a thing as a perfect marriage relationship?” I hesitated to answer him directly yes or no but went into deep thought and I decided to explore the issue with him.Here are some of the thoughts that we stumbled upon during the course of our discussion.-Definition: It is not something that can be attained rather it is a product of mutual understanding. It begins with how partners defines it. What would make them happy as long as they live together? What would constitute an imperfection in such a relationship according to them? What is it according to their terms?-Goals and aspirations of Marriage: A good marriage relationship would be defined on the borders of commonly shared aspirations and goals. The achievement of such goals and aspirations would bring about mutual happiness and hence a ‘perfect’ marriage. It gives basis for future endeavors and give it focus.-Identifying the enemy: It is common knowledge that to be forewarned is to be forearmed. When two people decide to get into a relationship, it is important to identify the common enemy for their marriage. A relationship leading to marriage is more like a war-a commander in chief does not go to war until he/she has an idea of who the enemy is, where he is and how he looks like. A perfect relationship will be defined on the basis of how best it is able to identify its common enemies on the same manner a commander in chief does during war.-Setting own precedence: It is usually disaster when people enter into a relationship because of age, relatives or peer pressure, availability of money or I have to do it mentality as the determining factor. A marriage has got to be uniquely defined and such a couple should aim at setting up a precedence to be followed, but they should not aim to follow. Once each two people define what defines their marriage relationship they can go ahead and define their perfect marriage.There you have the ideas, go ahead and define your own perfect marriage for only you can make your marriage perfect.

3 Steps to Solving All the Marriage Problems a Husband Will Ever Face

Marriage Problems vary. But their causes tend to have similar patterns. And their solutions tend to have similar patterns.Understand the principles at work behind the problems and their solutions, and you’ll quickly find yourself a happy husband, in a happy marriage, with a happy wife eager to please you.Let’s get straight into them:Step 1: Take Charge Of Your Relationship.What does that mean? It means that solving your marriage problems is in your hands. No one else’s. Not your wife’s. Not a friend’s. Not a counselor’s.Her end of the relationship is merely a reaction to you. If you end up always reacting to her, then you’ll end up with a cycle of marriage problems that you can’t seem to break out of.So, instead of leaving your relationship to itself, or leaving it to your wife, take charge of it!If your problems are about how she is treating you, recognize that she is merely reacting to how you are. If you are different, her response will be different.Let me repeat that for you, because everything builds on that point: If you are different, her response will be different.So don’t blame her. You may think she’s being unfair. “How could she be that way?!” Well… because she’s responding to how you are with her right now.So start acting as if your relationship is 100% in your hands.Step 2: Appreciate That Marriage Problems Are Typically Emotional.Now that you’re ready to take charge of your relationship and take responsibility for it, you need to recognize why you have marriage problems.Up to this point, you’ve failed to spark the right emotions in her.That’s the only reason you’ve lost her.Your problems are due to emotional reasons and not logical or moral reasons. They may be clothed in logical or moral reasons, but those aren’t the real reasons. Those are merely her rationalizing her emotions. Understand that.If you spark in her the right emotions, you will find her rationalizing illogical and even immoral behavior. To justify, follow her emotions. Simple.Warning: Once you understand how to spark her emotions, you will find you have a lot of influence over her. So use it with care! As they say, with great power, comes great responsibility.When sparking her emotions, you need to be a man about it, and take care of your woman. Use your influence over her with care, and she will love you and thank you forever.What does that mean on a practical level?It means a few things:Just as your marriage problems are because you pressed the wrong emotional buttons, the solution is to press the right emotional buttons. It’s that simple. That’s the good news.It also means that you need to stop trying to convince her with rational and moral arguments.”Convince” her with emotional arguments.What do I mean by “convince” her with emotional arguments? I mean influence her by affecting her emotions, by inspiring in her emotions of attraction, rather than emotions of repulsion.Because that’s all that has happened: she has responded with repulsion to how you are… but she can just as easily respond to how you are with attraction.This brings me to the third step…Step 3: Press The Right Emotional Buttons To Create Attraction.It’s simple: if you make your wife more attracted to you, you will find that most of your marriage problems will take care of themselves.Some Common Marriage Problems:”My wife doesn’t listen to me.”"My marriage feels flat.”"My wife doesn’t respect me.”"My wife isn’t interested in sex.”And so on.The Real Problem is: You’re missing one or more of the foundations of attraction. If you make her attracted to you, you will find her far more attentive, exciting, playful, radiant, respectful, cheerful (giggly, in fact), seductive, and eager to please you.So make sure you maintain the foundations of attraction at all times. If you’re yet to learn the foundations of magnetic attraction, then keep reading the articles on this site.

Is Honesty the Best Policy in a Marriage?

These days, it’s pretty rare to hear this saying. Speaking for myself for a moment, I have always agreed with, and actually lived by it. But the big question is, does it work in marriage? Quite simply, the answer is ‘yes’. In this media saturated age, it’s almost become acceptable to be dishonest, deceitful and instead of working to make things better in your marriage, simply giving up and moving on to the next person. Ask yourself this though:-That day you decided to get married, what made you decide it was the right thing to do?You could have any number of answers to that question. Is it any of these?”I was in love at the time”.”I was young and stupid.”"He/she was putting pressure on me and I caved in”.”We’d been together so long that it seemed like a natural step”.”I wanted a big/romantic wedding day”.”I was pregnant”.I’d wager that at least one of these applies to you. Which one isn’t important. You are reading this now either because things aren’t going the way you want them to or you simply want things to be better. Maybe you are here in a last ditch effort to save your marriage. Another saying I really like is ‘If you don’t ask, you don’t get’. This is never more true than in personal relationships. Have you been honest with your partner about what you want from them? Have you been honest about how you feel about the current state of your marriage? If not, then this is perhaps the most important step you’ll take towards improving or even saving your marriage. If your partner follows suit then you have a solid foundation on which to build, no matter what the problem areas of the marriage are.Opening up and being honest with each other builds emotional intimacy, one of the most important factors of a healthy marriage. Without emotional intimacy and trust, it’s a lot to ask for two people to stay together for a long period of time. The more unhappy your marriage is, the more these two things will dwindle and eventually you’ll end up going your separate ways as a result. Marriage is like a child in that it needs to be nurtured, given attention and protected. It’s a very special thing – treat it as so.Internalize these two sayings, I live by them – perhaps you should too.Honesty is the best policy.If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

My Wife Fell in Love With Another Man – Can the Marriage Still Be Saved?

Can the marriage still be saved when my wife fell in love with another man? You do not want this marriage to fall apart and you want to try winning her heart back again. The problem is she has lost her love for you. How can you get your wife to love you again?The thought of losing your wife can be very devastating. However, you should learn to get off from questioning yourself, “why my wife fell in love with another man?” It will only get your mind confused what you should do to win her heart back. It will only give you heartache and sadness when you start to wonder why. For worse, you may show out your emotions without realizing that you are looking desperate especially when you try to beg her not to leave you.You have to live your mind that you can be strong even without her. It is only when you overcome this fear of losing her, you will know how to save this marriage confidently. One thing for sure, your wife will definitely still have feelings for you because your love with her is built over the years and it is not something that can be destroyed over the days or months. This is also one of the biggest assets to penetrate into her heart and save the marriage again.Be mature and let her see the positive changes in you. Do some soul searching, are you still the same man that she fell in love with initially? Emotional attachment is one important aspect that most women will see. Try hard to bring back the communication into your marriage, let her know that you are not only a good husband but also a good listener and advisor. Make her feel love so that your wife can feel that she is important to this family.”my wife fell in love with another man” is also not a sudden thing that will appear over the night. It is obvious that something is lacking in the marriage and probably this affair can give her what she wants. So, do not start pushing the blames around saying that it is because of this or that to have this problem. Never try to make her jealous by getting another woman to spite her, this will only push her further away. No pathetic behavior to make her feel guilty towards you as well.There is no magic way to win your wife back without putting in any effort. However, there are proven tips that can tell you how to save this marriage back. In the next page, you will find these step by step proven marriage tips to win back your wife from another man. Visit: http://tosaveamarriage.blogspot.com/

Should You Insist on Equality in Marriage?

Gone are the days when wives were confined only in the homes to take care of their children and husbands. The situation of married women in the olden days no longer applies today, at least in the urban centers around the world. Most of us are aware that women have come out of their shell to do things that they want to accomplish. It is this reality that has actually prompted a call for equal rights for both men and women.Equality may not be totally achieved in the different segments of society but in marriage, this can be observed by both husband and wife. If both spouses truly love and respect each other, they can come to an agreement to ensure equal treatment in their marital relationship as well as in their relationship with their children. However, this is not really necessary in order to achieve a successful and lasting marriage.Not all people are open to the idea of equality in marriage. Attitude has a lot to do with it. If both spouses are conscious of giving each partner equal rights, that one is not superior over the other, then perhaps a fair relationship can continue going forward. For some, it may be okay at first to have an objective view but sometimes, attitudes can change overtime and what you’ve agreed initially can be ignored.Equality in a marital relationship can only be possible if you have come to know deeper the traits of your partner even before you tied the knot. If openness and transparency existed during the dating stage and engagement period, then there is a chance for equality to exist in marriage. But since our society puts men above women in many aspects of life, the responsibility of determining whether equality should be called for in marriage lies mostly on the wives.The financial aspect is oftentimes the part where equality is difficult to attain. Money has been a major source of conflicts in marriage which can even lead to divorce if not resolved properly. However, if both of you are committed to raising a happy family and have successful children in the future, you will find a way to ensure stability in your financial situation. Joint accounts of your earnings and other assets are an ideal solution.Communication is also essential in any relationship. Maintaining an open communication line can greatly help in resolving issues sooner than later. Effective communication does not only entail expressing your views, thoughts and emotions but being able to listen to what your partner has to say as well. There has to be a two-way interaction.Being generous of positive words is an important part of communication. Give praise to your partner’s looks, achievements and other endeavors. Say “I love you” to each other often. By doing this, you are providing your partner with encouragement and inspiration. Isn’t it that you get a good feeling when you’re praised and when you know that somebody loves you dearly?So there, getting a fair treatment from your spouse need not be insisted. You can earn your equal rights in marriage when you work for it and you are consistent with what you do.

Saving Your Marriage is Not Impossible! Each and Every Marriage Can Be Saved

What makes saving your marriage impossible? First, let me ask the question. What kind of a situation are you in? As you are reading this article, I guess that you are worried that your marriage is ending. Maybe your spouse has talked to you about divorce, maybe divorce proceedings are already taking place, or maybe your spouse didn’t talk to you about divorce but you are feeling it in the air.Friend – do not be desperate. Each and every marriage can be saved. Saving no marriage is impossible. What do you think had made your spouse marry you in the first place? He or she was feeling strongly to you once. It is not impossible to make him or her feel those feelings again.I should know this. I saved a marriage that was, by all counts, ending. My husband not only didn’t care about me, but was rarely coming home. This happened after a string of very stormy quarrels we had. I too felt quarreling that much was becoming unbearable – but he was the first to react to it and stopped caring about me and coming home.Stop begging. The first thing to do to save a marriage is to straighten yourself and stop begging to your spouse. Begging only reminds him or her that you are just a “OK, I love you too” away and are as accessible as a person can get. Fundamental law of the universe: The less accessible you are – the more attractive you are.Seek outside advice. The most common mistake made by spouses who try to saving their marriages is to go by their own ideas. This is so wrong – you are at the center of the relationship and you can’t see anything, and you need the advice of someone who can look from way further up. Plus, an ending marriage makes one desperate and devastated (it surely made me that way) which makes the “ideas” you come up with utter nonsense.

Your Husband is Not Romantic – What Do You Do Now?

The most important thing you must recognize is that this romance thing may be difficult for your husband to grasp.  Secondly, if he does have a good grasp of the subtle emotional cues that are a part of being romantic, your husband may not have the focus, time, energy, imagination, or skill to get it just right.  Lastly, he may not know just how important the emotional connection that romance makes possible is to you.The truth about your husband; (if you need to sit down please do so now) romance is just not very high on his list of relationship needs. How can you know this for sure?  Well, if romance were more important to him – there would be more romance. It is not much more complicated than that.  If you are still conscious and reading, prepare yourself for the next bit of reality.  Romance is important to him only:
To the extent that he knows it is important to you. 
And, to the extent that he gets some benefit from being romantic.
Ouch!  That last one can be fairly tough to accept.  Does this mean he doesn’t love you?  Absolutely not!  Simply put, your husband just has a different way of expressing his love for you.  Maybe your husband feels that by working hard and meeting the family’s financial needs;  this is expressing love far better than a love letter.  This is neither good nor bad.  It just is the way it is.  The important consideration is that this way – his way – of expressing love does not match your way of feeling loved.  Make a change here and you have unlocked the door to greater romance and emotional fulfillment in the relationship.If you take a moment to think like a man, you will be better able to understand how to improve your situation.

Do you know how you and your girlfriends can talk for hours about your feeling and possibilities for why someone should do something?  Well – men don’t and more importantly won’t.  Give a man a simple logical reason to do something and you are good to go.

Do you know how you and your girlfriends can come up with lots of ways to be romantic, really focusing the subtle parts that pull it all together for a wonderful evening or gift?  Well – men don’t and more importantly can’t.  Most men were not raised to focus on the little nuances of personal interaction that women so easily recognize.  Give a man an easy to follow set of instructions and you are on your way.

Do you know how you remember all the anniversaries, birthdays, holiday etc?  You guessed it - men probably won’t. Give a man a set of reminders and you have a sure thing.
Combine the three elements above – a reason, set of instructions, and reminders – and you have the greatest possibility for changing your relationship.  The challenge is to create a situation where all the important elements come together in a way that your husband does not feel like he is being nagged or manipulated. The good news is that there are several opportunities for you. One choice is a relationship coach who specializes in this area marriage development. The bad news is that many men will be very resistant to this idea and the cost could be out many family budgets. The second and better option is Romantic Outsourcing.Using the interactive capabilities of the internet, your husband can be reminded of your anniversaries (with enough time to plan something special), birthdays and special occasions, receive regular romantic ideas and get reinforcement from other men who are interested in improving their marriages as well. While many of these sites are basic, a few are full-featured. Even better, some sites are both full-featured and free. Romantic Outsourcing can provide your husband with everything he needs to transform himself into a romantic knight in shining armor.Before you say, “No way. Not my husband. He will never do it.” Check out a Google search for “Romantic Outsourcing” and see what the possibilities are. The really interesting thing is that most men seem to become quite comfortable with this romance thing after just a few weeks. Give it a try. You have all the romance to gain, and nothing to lose.

Here’s Help If Your Husband Fell Out of Love

While it is a fact that many marriages go sour, it is very painful for any wife to admit that her husband fell out of love with her. If this happens to you while you still love your husband, your pain will be even greater. In such a case, you may begin to think that divorce is your only way out. Although your husband may fall out of love due to the dynamics of marriage, this does not necessarily have to mark the end of your relationship. There are steps you can take to improve your relationship if your husband fell out of love with you.Self evaluationOne of the things you need to take into consideration is to take a closer look at yourself. Try to figure out how you used to associate with your husband during the initial stages of your marriage. Then consider how you related with each other at present. Are there some ways in which each partner is taking the other for granted? The changes in your marriage will affect how you feel, and your feelings in turn will influence your behavior.Your husband may feel that you no longer appreciate his efforts, which will make him become more withdrawn.If your husband fell out of love with you, you should ensure that you let him know how much you value him in your life. Let your actions show him that you really appreciate him. Your husband can be greatly discouraged when he does not feel to be important in your life. Remember that no matter how much other people appreciate him, it will not make as much impact if he does not receive any appreciation from you.Outside influencesThere are other matters that may be stressing your husband, which have nothing to do with your relationship. These may be either financial difficulties or problems at work. Such things may make your husband’s patience wear thin, and you may be mistaken to think that he has fallen out of love with you.Try to give him whatever kind of support you can so that he does not have to bear the entire burden alone. The moral support you give your husband plays a very important role. Let him know that you understand the financial tight-rope he is treading on. You will accept to make some sacrifices to make his burden a little lighter.If your husband fell out of love with you, do not despair. You can still make your marriage have a brighter future by following these steps among others. This is possible even if he is already thinking of filing for a divorce.

4 Tips For Saving Your Marriage

Many marriages nowadays face the tough challenges of sustenance and longevity due to a lot of factors bombarding relationships in the contemporary world. Unlike before, many marriages are prone to breakups and separation because of the way of life and new perspectives surrounding marriages and affairs. Since a lot of matrimonial bonds plunge themselves into their end, there are still a lot of ways that could definitely save your marriage from falling apart and becoming history. Hope springs eternal and this is what most marriage counselors and experts are reiterating and advocating uplifting morale and marriage values.What are sure ways of saving your marriage?Are you one of the many couples who face the threat of divorce and seeing their relationships go to the trash? Even during the first stages of marital distress, there are certainly things that could help to save your marriage. During the first signs of distress, remember the tips and secrets to rekindle the flame and renew your affair in no time at all.o Remember that marriage is a two-way affair. It takes both husband and wife to settle things and do what needs to be done so that you know what the problem really is and do something to remedy and solve that predicament you’re experiencing. Open communication is the key to every relationships and having an open line with each other avoids conflicts and misunderstandings from getting bigger and worst.o Trust and faith in your partner add color to your relationship. Where there is no trust, there would definitely be no love at all. It helps to know that your husband or wife believes in you all the way and that you do in the same manner. Even if you already are a couple, you both need the space and time by yourself to grow and enrich yourselves independently. Thus a great amount of confidence on each other is indispensable to allow growth of your relationship and as an individual.o When you seem not to understand each other that well, allow time and give space to have self-introspection and to see the problem objectively. Oftentimes, if you are too engrossed and involved in the problem, you tend to be too emotional and subjective yourself, which will certainly not help at all. Therefore, be discerning and examine yourself and the contribution you have in the way your marriage turned out.o Seek help from professionals, books or family members and friends. Somehow it is tremendously important that you don’t keep the problem to yourself. Sometimes all it takes to get rid of those emotional stresses is to share it to significant persons in your life. Outlet for your emotions is salient to find logical solutions to your marital problem.Saving your marriage has a domino effect especially on your children and the people around you. Good relationships and affairs are factors of keeping an ideal family. Children who will eventually become productive members of the society are actually products of happy homes. Thus, this noble task is not only life-changing but it would also change the world.

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