Do you and your spouse come across as fighting all the time? You must sometimes ponder the twinkle that you had for one another during the beginning of your union. Do you speculate if your marriage could be headed for a divorce? The following consists of several tips and tricks given to you and the most effective methods to keep your marriage afloat starting now.The very first teaching you must ascertain is that every married couple goes through a rough patch.You are likely struggling with some very common issues and are in need of some uncomplicated solutions, if your marriage has not been doing well as of late.o Being with a suffocating mate* Problems with parenting your kids* Insufficient quality time with due to busy calendarsThe route onward for almost couples is when one partner makes a pledge to stick to it and struggle for the marriage. When this happens, the other partner will see this and also want to help the marriage live.This means that even when your spouse appears to not be committed to or still interested in your marriage there is still a chance for you to set an goal and begin learning the information and techniques that other couples have gained in order to save their marriage and with any luck your spouse will be engaging in the marriage along with you.It is critical that you never give up if you really want your marriage to succeed. Most marriages have a possibility at becoming the relationship that you are dreaming of and it is almost ever worth fighting for what you truly love.
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Broken trust causes a majority of divorces. But you don’t have to end your marriage because of this! Marriages are made up of many things – trust, although a HUGE part, is only one of them. It doesn’t matter if you are the one who broke this special bond, or if you are the victim. What matters is that you need help. When you are the person that broke the trustWhile there are many ways trust is broken, the main one is infidelity. If you have cheated on your spouse, you are here because you know that you made a horrible mistake. You want to change things, and save your marriage. Have you opened up to your spouse yet? Have you told them that you’ve made a horrible mistake, and you are sorry? Have you told your spouse that you want to try to save the marriage, and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to do so? You have to show your spouse that you want to make things better. This is going to take time, work, and commitment. Trust isn’t something that comes easy to begin with, and it will take time to gain back. but you CAN do it, and when you succeed, your marriage will be all the more stable!When you are the victim of broken trustWhat if you find yourself on the opposite end of broken trust? What if YOU are the one that was cheated on? This is devastating, to say the least. The most important thing you can do right now is to learn to forgive. You will never forget what happened, but by forgiving your partner, you will release the pent up anger and resentment that is building up inside of you, and eating away at you.You must forgive your spouse. Not only to save your marriage, but to help yourself. Your spouse has a lot of work ahead of them. Hopefully, you have forgiven them. A mistake was made. Talk to your spouse. Find out why they think the affair happened. Is it because the romance has gone out of your marriage? Is it because the love is fading?If so, there are things you can do right now to make your spouse feel loved. Also, by opening up the lines of communication in your marriage, you will feel more loved, yourself. Your marriage, over time, will become stronger. Many couples who are faced with this situation come out stronger than ever, because they work together to save their marriage.
San Diego State University psychologist Linda C. Gallo, PhD, tracked the health and happiness of 493 women for 13 years. Using blood tests, Gallo found that women with the luck, skill, or emotional fortitude to have created highly satisfying marriages were simply in better health¹.We’ve all heard the scientific evidence, confirmation of our assumptions, and out and out speculation about a connection between a happy marriage and good health.Mortality rates, for example, are greatly affected by marital status. The mortality rate among single men under 34 is about 2½ times higher than that for young married men. Widowed and divorced men over 80 have a mortality rate one third higher than married men. Single, widowed and divorced older women all have higher mortality rates than their married peers.One of the biggest factors in our food obsessed, overly sedentary culture is, of course obesity. The prevalence of obesity in America doubled from 15 percent in 1980 to 27 percent in 1999. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 30% of children and two-thirds of adult Americans are overweight, no thanks to poor diet and lack of exercise. Nearly 2 in 3 Americans is overweight, and more than 50% of those are considered obese. This doesn’t just have an impact on the health care budget, even though obesity costs us nearly $117 Billion dollars per annum. It also costs us in one of the prevalent outcomes of overweight: divorce. Ask any married couple this question, “would you marry your spouse again if you knew they’d be overweight?”. If they’re honest they’ll say no. Too much body mass causes all manner of health and other problems, not to mention it’s just unattractive.No news there. But let’s turn that around for once; is the opposite equally true? Do people who take care of themselves find that their marriages are happier as a result? And is this a self-fulfilling prophecy? Does taking care of ourselves lead to better health, which leads to a happier, more satisfied mate? It would seem so intuitively. It could be that we have it exactly backward; it could be that people who find themselves in a satisfying marriage automatically watch their weight, don’t smoke, drink in moderation, buckle up and in general take fewer chances with their physical well being. This could be an unconscious reaction to knowing someone loves us enough to expect nothing less.Expectations in marriage mean a lot. In my own relationship, for example, it would be an impossibility that one of us would take up smoking. My mate would assume I’d gone ’round the bend; seeing her with a cigarette, I would assume the same. Neither of us drinks very much. We’d no more drive without buckling up than walk into traffic blindfolded. We exercise daily, either walking, biking in the neighborhood, or at a nearby public park. We have an almost daily drill where we compete with each other to do as many sit-ups as we can (she always wins). Our diet is healthier, and, counterintuitively, more satisfying than ever.Recently, we acquired a copy of a cookbook/earth greening manifesto titled Food Matters: A Guide to Conscious Eating², which contains all manner of recipes, food and agricultural information, planetary impact data and health related observations about what we buy at the grocery, cook in our kitchens, and put in our mouths. Food Matters is now our only cookbook. Hint: we keep beans in the pantry at all times, and, yes, Beano®, too. We just feel it’s important to stay slim, healthy, attractive and attentive for each other.The current health care controversy may revolve around a hidden factor here, that those who initially care enough about their own health gravitate to others like themselves, and overall, impact the health care system less than those who abuse their bodies. Anecdotally, those people are likely involved in unsatisfying marital relationships.Speaking of expectations, marital bliss doesn’t necessarily mean sexual satisfaction, but the two are pretty closely aligned. Here are the stats: According to the American Urological Association, overweight men are more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction than slimmer correspondents³. Considering how most men feel about sex and their partners, this is likely a reason to stay slim, or slim down after the middle age spread has begun. Research suggests that Americans do in fact gain about ten pounds per decade on average, and we’re living longer, so do the math. Most divorces in America, too, have as a factor the loss of sexual attraction in men and women. The bottom line is that to enjoy sex longer, and to keep our mates happy regardless, we need to take better care of ourselves. Here are a few tips on how to do that.Regular exercise: How many times have we heard that? Set a timer. Every thirty minutes leave the computer, get on the floor, and do as many sit-ups as you can without strain. In no time you’ll be proud to say you can do 100 sit ups per day, and your tummy will thank you. Your mate will, too. Take a walk after work. Don’t eat dinner till you’ve exercised at least fifteen minutes. Hold hands while walking; it will increase the enjoyment, and it embarrasses your kids, a good thing.Eat less, and eat better. The story about beans? It’s true; they’re the best thing we can eat, full of nutrients, high in protein, low fat, low carb, satisfying, and good if fixed imaginatively, which isn’t hard. (See notation #2). Also, why do we keep eating till every scrap and morsel is gone? Is that mom’s admonition to clean our plates? The cure for this is ridiculously simple: when you’re no longer hungry, stop. The grocery bill will decline, too.Stop with the snacking & grazing. Research suggests that several smaller meals throughout the day is better for us than the standard three squares. A lot of our food habits, indeed a lot of our weight gain problem is pure habit: We’re surrounded by food; we eat by time instead of hunger; we finish everything rather than ‘waste’ it, which is an interesting choice of words when you think about it. By eating after we’re no longer hungry we’re effectively ‘wasting’ food.Don’t nag your mate about their weight. Tough not to, but the habit of mentioning weight gain and unhealthy eating habits creates a spiral toward even more of the same. If weight gain is becoming an issue, look at other factors in the relationship first. Praise is always a slimming agent.Finally, consider that your mate really does love you enough to want you to stick around a long time. Sure, you’re their beneficiary, but that doesn’t mean they want to cash in on you right away. Attributed to various sources, the following quote is appropriate. “The idea is to die young as late as possible.” For good marital satisfaction, this means taking care of our health, and being considerate enough of our mates to do that for a lifetime.¹©2009 Rodale press. Writer Deb Dellapena.²©2009 Mark Bittman.³© 2003-2009 Bio-Medicine.
Marriage isn’t always an easy road to take. We all start out convinced that our marriage will be different than everyone else’s. We don’t even consider the idea that we’d end up divorced given how deeply we love our spouse. Many people feel this same way and so it’s overwhelming once they find themselves in a position where they feel their relationship is unraveling. If this is what is happening to you right now, you’re likely looking for advice. There are a few how to save marriage tips that can give you the second chance at happiness with your spouse that you so desperately want.Some of the best how to save marriage tips focus on improved communication. Obviously, having great communication is essential for any successful relationship, but it’s even more crucial for a happy and fulfilling marriage. It’s easy to stop talking to your spouse once real life sets in and the honeymoon phase is officially over. When a couple has to deal with things like mortgages, raising children and demanding careers the stress can overrun everything and make them drift apart. Unless you make a point of sharing your feelings with your spouse they may never fully understand what you are experiencing in terms of the relationship. The same is true for them. Make a point of setting aside time to listen to one another. Be open to hearing what they have to say and don’t take offense. Learn from what they tell you so you two can work towards a more fulfilling relationship for both of you.Putting each other first is another of the how to save marriage tips that really helps. You need to make time to spend just with your spouse. Plan date nights with each other without the children. If you can afford it, take a weekend getaway as a second honeymoon. You two need to connect on the same level you did when you first married. This naturally takes a bit of work but it’s well worth it.
Living in a sexless marriage isn’t easy. You feel alone, depressed, rejected, and confused. You may even feel stuck in your sexless marriage, as if this isn’t what you signed up for when you said “I Do” a while back.You had dreams of love and passion and now you face a kind of loneliness that is hard to bear and difficult to share with anyone else. In addition, you simply have no idea how to fix this situation. Nothing seems like it has a real chance of working. What can you do?First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself. This will get you nowhere, and being a person full of self-pity isn’t the most attractive thing in the world.Second of all, you shouldn’t feel stuck in your marriage. As always, you have a choice to make. Either work on your marriage, accept it as it is and try to be happy about it, or end it. I’m not advocating divorce, just being in action. I’m actually in favor of trying to save your marriage as long as you still love your spouse and believe there is something worth saving.Third, it’s time to become your own person. Pursue your hobbies, take up a class, invest in your career. Doing this will make you a happier person in your own right and you will feel less defined by your marriage. This can also make you look more attractive in the eyes of your spouse.Fourth, take a long hard look at your life and see whether there is something in your marriage or the interaction between you two that could have brought on this lack of passion. Most likely, something has turned a little stale between the two of you and it’s time to bring it back to life.Above all, don’t despair, there’s a lot that can be done to bring back the passion to your marriage. It’s time to take action.
It’s so sad to see so many divorces these days. Did you know that most divorces happen only because the couple does’t know how to resolve their problems? Most marriages CAN be saved! When your marriage is on the brink of divorce, there IS hope. You can turn your marriage around, and it is easier than you think!Your marriage is tense right now, and both of you are full of negative emotions and behaviors. You are probably both picking on every little thing that the other one does. This is totally normal. By keeping this negativity in your relationship, you are letting it bring your marriage down more. When you take steps to bring positive emotions and actions into your marriage, you will see it start to get better. It’s not hard at all to do, either.Let’s say the two of you are eating dinner. Start a conversation with something simple, such as how your spouse’s day went. If your spouse made dinner, tell them that it is good, and thank them. This little thing brings positive thoughts in, and as you do this you will find yourself doing it more and more. Also, people are drawn to positive people. As you start to be positive, your spouse will, too. You will start to feel the ease of tension in your marriage, and can easily go from there.This may sound silly to you, it did to me when I was having my own marital problems. But I tried it, just because I couldn’t think of anything else to do. It seems ridiculous, but I saw improvements that same day. Just as one bad remark leads to another, thus causing an all out war, one POSITIVE remark, no matter how small, leads to another positive remark, and bad feelings start to fade.
Are you worried that your marriage is going to end? No wonder, with those statistics that an overwhelming majority of all marriages fail (87%). It’s hard to keep your marriage at the best 13%. But most of those failed marriages could have been saved if one of the spouses actually asked “how to save a marriage”. Usually, both sides get “bored” of the marriage and end the marriage by mutual consent. But if one side wants to stop the divorce, he or she definitely can do this – it all depends on your actions if you want to save your marriage.I was personally in such a marriage that was ending. When my husband made it clear to me that he wanted a divorce, I did what most people do in such a situation: I panicked. This does nothing to save your marriage. In my panicked state, I went very desperate and did everything I could think of in a short time scale – try to talk to him, apologize to him and promise I was going to change – when that didn’t work, I began to outright beg him to save my marriage. This is the biggest mistake you can do – do not beg your spouse to save your marriage, never. It will only make you look pathetic and will lose your credibility. It does a lot of harm.Then I realized that because I had panicked and I was very desperate, I wasn’t able to think clearly and was running in circles of begging and apologizing. And I made the decision that made me save my marriage: ”I cannot think effectively, my mind is clouded. Clearly I need some outside advice.”That was the decision I made, and that is the decision you SHOULD make. Stop trying to think of ways to save your marriage by yourself. Seek outside advice. Actually, by reading this article you are already seeking outside advice – which is a good sign that you ARE going to save your marriage. Listen to me – and stop “inventing” ways to stop your divorce as soon as possible!
Marriage counselling isn’t the first choice for most couples. Most couples will try and sort out the problem themselves before seeking professional help? This means that marriage counseling is the last hope for couples who are desperate to rekindle the lost love once again in their marriage. However, there may be a cheaper, and more effective way to do so. Let’s try and answer the question does marriage counseling really work?A licensed marriage counsellor is basically a psychologist. A psychologist understands the complexities of human nature and it is these skills which helps the marriage counsellor solve the marital problems that exist amongst the couples.Here’s a list of the most common problems a marriage counsellor will encounter between couples: alcoholism, monetary problems, low self-esteem, health issues, physical or verbal abuse and extramarital affairs. These marriage counselling sessions allows both partners to be totally open with each other and get everything off their chests and out in the open.The intervention of a marriage counsellor should never be taken lightly. This must be the very last resort. Marriage counsellors costs range from $75 per hour all the way up to $300 per hour. It is very unlikely that all your problems will be solved in one hour so be prepared to spend quite a lot of money on these services. Again, it all depends on if you really have tried everything you possibly can to try and save your relationship before seek these services. At the same time though, you can’t put a price on happiness.