I get a lot of emails asking for tips on coping when your husband has left but you still love him and want him back. It can be very painful and just feel odd when you’re on your own and feel like part of you is missing. It can also be worse when there is an unknown of how it is going to turn out. If you know that you were going to be without him for the long haul, then you could begin to adjust and heal, but if you doubt or hope that it might now be over, then you are sort of in limbo and this can prolong the pain. There is no doubt that this is a difficult time but you can and will get through it and luckily, the best way to get through it is often the most effective way to get him back, if this is what you want. I will discuss this more in the following article.Understanding That It’s Easier To Swim With The Tide Than Against It: Often it feels so weird and foreign for him not to be there, that we immediately go into a panic. We feel that we must solve this situation immediately or that we can perhaps kiss him goodbye forever. You must understand that you didn’t get to this place overnight and so it is likely not going to be completely resolved over night. And, to be honest, you probably are better off giving this process time to run its full course. Allowing him to miss you and miss your home is really in your best interest because this will contribute to your having his full cooperation in working things out.I know that it feels tempting to try to argue, manipulate or guilt your way into making him come home. And, while these things may yield you small victories, you’ll often find that he’s either resentful, noncommittal, or unsure if you go about getting him back home this way.You are far better off initially making the points that you want him to know (you want him to be happy, you love him, you will miss him but you want to comply with the space that he has asked for, and that you are going to use the time for your benefit as well) and then backing off. This is a time when you should just sort of go where this takes you. You’re better off leading him lead you than chasing him. I know that this advice sounds risky. I know that you are probably worried that if you let him take the lead, he’s not going to do it. But, this is really the only way to ensure that you know that this is what he really wants. And, the silence, distance and time will often intensify his positive feelings, especially if you don’t disturb this process by appearing over bearing, needy, or manipulative.Making Sure He Sees You As The Strong, Confident, Busy Woman That You Are: To be very honest, the best thing that you can do right now is to keep yourself so busy that you will have a hard time stopping too long to dwell or feel devastated. Focus on your friends, your work, and those things that make you happy. Take very good care of yourself. Handle this with quiet confidence and grace. You don’t want him to see that you’re not capable of going it alone or that you don’t enjoy your own company enough to have a bearable time right now.I know that it’s so tempting to put on that tattered robe, eat pizza straight out of the box, and take the phone off of the hook, but this is only going to take you to lonely dark places and weaken you. And, you do not want to be in a weakened state when you see or talk to him. You want the way that you’ve been spending to your time (in a productive way) to show on your face. You want for him to know that you are capable of interacting with your friends, getting things done on your own, and exploring your own interests.Strengthening Yourself: In truth, the best thing that you can do right now is to strengthen yourself. How you accomplish this is going to be different for every one. Some people will focus on their appearance. Some will take a class or start a project. Whatever you need to do to engage yourself, keep yourself busy, and experience some pleasure, it is certainly worth the effort. It certainly doesn’t hurt to let your very busy life leak to him. A woman who is coping and confident is going to appear so much more attractive as someone who is holed in and moping.Now, some people will take this too far. They think the goal is to be distant and aloof. It isn’t. You still want to be the laid back, fun, and happy go lucky person that he fell in love with. You want to be open and approachable, but you want to balance this with the fact that you certainly on not sitting at home waiting on his whims. This process might take some time, which is why it’s important that you be comfortable and happy where you are. Restoring his attention might well take some time. There are instances when you might never have the exact same relationship. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try though.And becoming the best version of yourself is a healthy option for you whether you get him back or not. Being at your best will allow you to create a healthier relationship with him, with yourself, or with whoever else comes along. Understand that this is just a speed hump. What’s happening today may change tomorrow, but so long as you’re moving forward in a healthy way, you can truly handle whatever comes your way.
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Marriage is the union of one man and one woman for life as established by God. Marriage was designed by God for happiness of the human race and therefore, must be held in honor. Marriage creates room for love which should be expressed in an intimate manner and is designed for reproduction.Both husband and wife have part to play in the institution. The husband must devote himself for the good of his wife and the wife must commit herself to her husband. Marriage must be held in mutual submission and equal responsibility.Marriage has three major aspects:i. The two of them become one flesh in the commitment and intimacy to the glorious and fantastic union that is reserved for marriage.ii. The two of them are joined together by helping each other and by loving each other above others.iii. On the part of the man he lives his parents and in a public declaration pledges himself to his wife.Marriage is one of God’s methods to keep men and women from fornication and adultery.For marriage to be sustained there must be love, kindness, tenderness, submission, the wife should respect and obey her husband and the husband should love and care for the wife but the submission of the wife to the husband should not be obliterate or nullify the woman’s personality. It should not be subjugation nor imposed obedience; the submission must be motivated by love and should be voluntary subordination.The husband is the head of the family and headship has the idea of authority but a wise husband must be considerate, he must have good understanding and should be able to bear with his wife, he must not take advantage of his role and the wife must not try to undermine her husband’s leadership.
In many parts of the world, marriage is accepted to be the coming together of a man and a wife, in agreement that they will live together till death. Every person is unique and has been brought up in a different setup thus making the two people uniting in a marriage not to have same ideologies, thoughts, decision making ability, feelings as well as motivational drive.To ensure the two stay together for as long as they are alive, they will have to purpose to nurture their relationship by giving each other quality time. When a man and a wife spend time together and talk about the dreams they have for the family, their problems, fears as well as their solutions to marital challenges, they do build a tight friendship and trust. This helps them to long to be in each other’s company.One major cause of separation between married couples is financial disagreements. Each couple needs to sit down, openly disclose their income, their debts as well as assets then discuss how best they would like to handle their joint financial obligations. This reduces the possibility of unwarranted friction in the marriage.In-laws are known to sometime interfere with marriages. It is also important for a couple to draw a line on how far their extended family members can be allowed to have a say. To tackle this, couples are advised to discuss how to relate with their in-laws.The institution of marriage should be treated sacredly since it’s the foundation of stable communities. Prosperous nations most often prioritize strengthening the family unit.
I remember one night, after a bad fight, sitting in an old neighborhood bar and telling my best friend “my marriage is falling apart. What the hell do I do?” He sort of laughed at me, shook his head and asked me “are you serious”. I didn’t understand his confusion, it seemed pretty straightforward to me. Then he said something that made so much sense it was almost silly…He said “What the heck are you doing sitting in a bar with me then. Do you think that’s going to make your marriage any better?” After that, telling him my marriage is falling apart seemed sort of silly.You see sometimes we look for the answers to our marriage problems in the most stupid places. Asking my best friend, who had never been married what I should do about my marriage wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I guess what I was looking for from him was compassion and someone to point fingers with. What I got was a duh moment.I left the bar that night, and went home. Of course things weren’t miraculously better because I left the bar a little earlier that night. Things were still the same when I got home, my wife was still as tired of me as she was when I left the house. I was actually just as tired of seeing her as well. But what had changed was that I walked in the door determined to figure out a way to answer the question of why my marriage is falling apart.I asked advice in a lot of different places over the next few days. I read a lot of stuff, some terrible and some outstanding. I’ll tell more about that in a minute.I asked people that I knew who had good marriages why their marriages worked, what their “secret” was. I asked others who had terrible marriages and divorced (like my parents for instance) why their marriage failed.I even got a little sneaky and started asking my wife questions.The most important thing I did was take serious stock in my life, took responsibly, admitted that my marriage is falling apart, and instead of blaming my wife decided that it was up to me to change things.From the outstanding things I read, I started to take some very serious action steps and my marriage began to improve little by little, and soon after a snowball effect took place and my marriage saw some very dramatic improvements.I was able to eventually to go from saying “my marriage is falling apart” to “my marriage is finally what it’s supposed to look like…I’m happy!”
When you first met, you and your partner couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Then you settled down and got married; slowly the amount of intercourse that you and your spouse are having has dwindled down to nothing. When you do have sex one or both of your are going through the motions. You hate to admit it, but the two of you have wandered down the sexless marriage path. This path really does bite the big one, but before you can find a solution, you need to figure out what the problem is. The causes of your sexless marriage could be one of many things, but you may want to start with looking at one of these three possibilities: stress, an affair, or a boring routine.1. Stress – If stress is the cause of lack of sex in your marriage, then you may want to look at where the stress is coming from. Is it coming from work? Maybe a different job is in order. Is it coming from your financial situation? Then sit down with your spouse and get a plan together to make things on the money front better. Is it being caused by your lack of sex? Discuss with your spouse why you are not having sex, this could be as easy as making time to have fun in the sack. Just taking time to discuss the problem could afford you a solution.2. An Affair – If you or your spouse is having an affair, it could be real ugly. The fling in your lives is the latest and greatest thing; it will be extremely difficult to compete with that. Even if the affair is ended, how can you trust your partner again to open yourself up and start having intercourse. In this case, look back and see what may have caused the affair in the first place. Was it lack of sex? Then look to see what caused that. Go through this process with your spouse to get the most bang for your buck.3. Lack of variety – In the bedroom you and your spouse go through the same motions every time you do the dirty. If this is what your life in the bedroom has become, then chances are your life outside of the bedroom is the same. Try thinking of ways that you can spend some time with your husband or wife doing things you have never done before. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something different. If you can surprise them without any suspicion the change-up may be even better. Just making some unexpected changes in your daily routine could bring some spark back to your sex life.
Marriage is a blessing. However, it is a blessing that comes with a price called sacrifice. Sacrifice is the very essence of marital bond, and this is also achieved by means of compromise. Note that the key words rhymes: Price, sacrifice and compromise. These are the elements for marital bliss. Marital bliss can only be achieved if one is selfless enough to uphold its values.Marriage in its pure form should not be corrupted by anything awful–like a fight blown out of proportion. It should be about love, kindness and support for one another. There is nothing as mortifying like the sight of seeing married couples openly assaulting themselves with unpleasant words all in the name of anger and lack of patience. It is not only shameful for the individuals directly involved, but also for any person that witnesses such a horror. It can also be a psychological trauma for the children of the married couples.The common causes of dispute between married couples can be listed to an infinite degree, from the germane to the very trivial. However some major causes of contention includes: infidelity, money, poor communication, sex, chores, addictions, habits, past history, occupation, insecurity and even childbearing. However statistics shows that infidelity and finance stands most prominent.Nevertheless, no matter how prominent it is, it can always be argued over in a gentle way that will not be cataclysmic to the marriage in whole.After a thorough insight into practical cases in my own life and that of other married couples. I came up with some tips that can never be overlooked if one wants to fight fairly with his/her spouse:Poor communication between married couples aid to fester problems. Problems that in their early stages could have been quenched using simple dialogue. However, due to lack of communication, it is allowed to grow to the point where one or both parties cannot take it any longer. It is important that married couples should confront themselves about issues that bother them. This should however be done carefully. They should not immediately point accusing fingers at one another and laying blames. They are half of the other, so they should be both responsible to in finding a solution to the problem.By fighting fairly with your spouse is also by fighting privately with your spouse. The issues between married couples should be discussed where there are no prying eyes and ears. Where no external factors serve as catalyst to the intending feud. Issues are well resolved this way. Couples should also not bring in friends and other family members in a case of dispute between them. It only introduces the element of betrayal and vote of no confidence in the other.Patience can never be overemphasized in a case of dispute between married couples. They should both exercise patience when dealing with issues between them. In the case of anger, a spouse should allow himself/herself to calm down before approaching the other to discuss it. This should be done in a bid to avoid shouting at one another and making it a raucous affair. Married couples can also endeavor to schedule time to discuss their problems for later if they are both not in the mood to discuss it at that present time. Because it takes two willing mind to resolve a marital issue.By fighting fairly in a marriage is by letting go of your ego and apologizing. Acknowledge that you are wrong and ask for forgiveness from your spouse. It is simply the honorable and romantic thing to do.Even if a blown-out-of-proportion fights threatens. Couples should endeavor to control themselves in other to avoid it. Do not use elements like criticism, sarcasm, character assassination, accusation, and direct insult. Avoid also generalizing and recalling past history. This can only detonate the explosion of a fight.In other to prevent financial dispute, couples should have different bank and credit accounts. However they should both agree contribute to the bills being paid, with only one person in charge of making the direct payments. This allows for ease of the financial running of the family, which will thwart all potential financial disputes that may rise between them.Finally, if it is a problem that persists and seems irresolvable, couples should seek professional advice from a marriage counselor. It is not wise to think it is best to get out of the marriage. I can bet that it is a lot better than the loneliness that comes afterward. And how does one know that one will not face such a seemingly irresolvable problem in another marriage?
When you want to save your marriage, you have to figure out why it is in trouble. Many different things cause marital problems. The good news, though, is that most of these can be fixed.The reasons for marriages in trouble vary greatly. Lies, cheating, boredom, children, jobs or job losses are just a few. If your spouse had an affair, you should really seek professional help. This isn’t a secret, but when you’re dealing with deep trust issues, a professional will know best how to help you.If you opt for marriage counseling, the counselor will be able to find out the reason the cheating took place, and will also be able to tell you ways to heal from such a broken trust issue.The secret techniques aren’t exactly a secret, but most people never try them. They do the opposite of what they’re supposed to do, and wonder why the techniques don’t work.The first technique, when you want to save your marriage, is to leave your spouse alone. Give him or her some room. If you have to, stay with a family member or close friend for a day or two. Make sure your spouse knows that you’re not leaving for good, but you think the time away will be best for the both of you.If, on the other hand, the problem in your marriage is that you don’t spend enough time with each other, then you should do the opposite. Plan a weekend getaway, or simply stay home, but devote time for both of you to talk, or do something you both enjoy doing.These two ‘secret’ techniques work wonders for marriages in trouble!
Are you constantly asking yourself “How Do I Save My Marriage”? My friend… I feel for you. I called you my friend because I had been in that exact situation only some time ago. Whether you are a male or a female, I know how devastating it can be that your loved one is getting away from you day by day. I know how it feels to see your marriage crumbling.I had tried lots of different things out of desperation. I thought – if acting good to him doesn’t work, then acting bad to him has to work… etc. I thought there OUGHT to be something to save my marriage! I wanted to stop my divorce!So here I am, not only I have stopped my divorce and fixed my marriage but also my marriage is now even better than it EVER was!! I have created a web page to share my tips with you, the troubled spouse, because I know exactly what you are feeling right now and want to help you. Before giving you my page’s link, however, I want to share some tips with you.
DO NOT BEG. Never beg to your spouse. If you have been begging, quit it immediately. You know the most basic law of the universe? The “People Want What They Can’t Get” law? You should also know its translation into troubled relationships: “the easier you can get somebody, the less you will want him or her.” When you beg to your spouse, you are actually getting away from saving your marriage. Your spouse will think that you are easy to get anyway and will want you less.
BE ABSENT. Yes, exactly that. Maybe your spouse has already moved out of the house, maybe he or she didn’t. You somehow have to disappear from his / her eye most of the time. If he / she is still living with you, the best option is just going out somewhere and not returning until night.
LEAVE HIM OR HER ALONE. This goes hand to hand with the first thing I said: Do not beg. Leave him or her alone and you will then be more inaccessible to him or her, suddenly making you more desirable in his or her eyes.