This article is written for Christian marriages. God established marriage and God designed marriage and marriage was created for God’s purpose. We ought to manage our marriage His way, don’t you think?A Christian Marriage Must Have God at the Forefront!If you want to have a happy marriage then don’t treat your marriage like everyone else does. Love in society is not the same kind of love that Jesus taught! If a husband doesn’t love his wife properly, in the ways taught by Christ, she in turn will not love (submit to) her husband. Societies view of love has turned marriage upside down. This is the basis for most, if not all, marriage problems. A Christian marriage must be managed with God at the forefront! We must go back to the teachings of Christ on what love is and then base our marriage on that kind of love.True Christians should not be a part of the worldly culture of society because they bring the rebellious views back into their own lives. This is where all of the confusion on the submission thing has gone awry within the Christian community. Even some of the Christian churches have got it wrong and this in turn makes everyone blind to the truth.How Is A Husband Instructed To Love His Wife?The bible explains in great detail how a man is to love his wife. His wife should be of prime importance to him, over his career, his children, his hobbies, his friends, and himself. A Christ led man will put his wife first over himself. This is how a husband is to love his wife. ”So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” (Ephesians 5:28)What kind of a husband would have a hard time loving his wife in the way Christ instructs him to? A husband who needs inner healing, has not acknowledged Jesus Christ, and is not filled with the Spirit of Christ. Jesus says that a man who loves himself will love his wife. What kind of a man loveth himself? A man who loves himself has subjected himself to Christ, and acknowledged Jesus Christ as his Savior. He is a man that is filled with the Spirit of Christ. This kind of man has made his wife the queen in his home because he is overflowing with Christ’s love and blessings. When a man loves his wife, in the ways taught by Christ she will not have a problem submitting to his headship position. Do you see how that works? The bible instructs wives to be subject to their husbands as the church (true worshipers) is subject to Jesus Christ. God knows who the true worshipers are. God knows our hearts and minds better than we do. (John 4:23-24)How Is A Wife Instructed To Submit? ”Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands, in everything.” (Ephesians 5:24)This verse can stir up confusion. There are many churches that are not subject to Jesus Christ, even Christian churches. So what is “the church”? The church is not a church building. God’s true worshipers are “the church”. They are those who worship in Spirit and in truth. (John 4:23-24)The church is within you. The church is in your heart and in your mind. Every day you take the church with you, wherever you go, so make sure you are being a good example for Christ. You’re working for Christ in your marriage, at your job, with your friends, and in your lifestyle. Are you being a good example?If we profess to be Christ Ones than we are subject to Jesus Christ and His instruction. Christian husbands who want to have a blessed marriage are subject unto Christ first and foremost! There is no other way! If a husband subjects his own life to Christ then he will love his wife properly, in the ways taught by Christ, and the wife will submit (love) to her husband. It works both ways!God’s design, purpose, and husband and wife roles for marriage won’t work if the Christian husband is not participating. The wife will feel like a doormat, just like what is often referred to as what submission is today in society. NOT! Submission is not being a doormat. Submission is loving God with all of your heart, mind, and soul. In return Christ blesses you with the freedom to love your spouse properly. A Christian man who puts God first loves himself and loves his wife. And a Christian woman who puts God first will love herself and will be free to submit to her husband. If you are not loving your spouse in the proper ways now, maybe you ought to review your faith and ask Christ to help you with freeing the demons within you and healing your soul.”Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it.” (Ephesians 5:25) Bottom line is Jesus suffered and died for our sins and that is the way Christ wants a husband to love his wife.”Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)
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If you want to save your marriage and stop a divorce, I would like to call you my friend. The first reason for that is, I have been in that exact situation and I know how horrible you feel at the moment. The second reason is that I congratulate you for trying to stop a divorce. The majority of all marriages (87%) fail, and it’s because marriage needs self sacrifice which people are too selfish to provide – it’s just easier to say “it’s not working” and end the holy bond that is meant to unify two people until eternity.So my friend, I have good news for you: Out of all hopelessness, and the desperation that had surrounded me from all places; I have saved my marriage, and I have stopped my divorce for good. In fact, I want to go as far as to say that my marriage has never been better – we are now a more loving couple than we were even in our honeymoon. But it was a hard thing to do, since in the beginning (and for a long time) I didn’t know what to do.In my desperation, all I could think of to stop my divorce was to beg my husband to reconsider. I would say, do not do this! I apologize, I have realized my mistakes and they will never happen again! This was all I could think of to save my marriage. As I said before, I didn’t know what to do, I needed guidance but I didn’t realize that I needed guidance.But then I understood that I needed outside advice. I must say you are way above my situation right now: You are looking for outside advice on the Internet. That’s something I could think of doing only some time after, and in the meantime I suffered. That you are looking for outside advice is a great sign that you ARE going to stop your divorce.Never think of methods to stop a divorce by yourself – because an ending marriage can be devastating, you are going to be desperate, and your instincts will tell you to go and beg your spouse for forgiveness. This is a knee-jerk reaction, a desperate attempt at trying to fix everything, which should be avoided at all costs.
Communication is imperative in the pursuit of marital success. There are three levels of communication in marriage. These are:LEVEL 1 – Talking about others: At this level, couples will only talk about other people like; friends, children or about issues. This may involve politics, education, current affairs, children school fees, church, Sunday school business.At this level, the discussion will not involve the couple themselves but rather on other things. Most couples relate only on this level and this level of communication only make a distant friend. Stopping at this level on the ladder of communication is very dangerous. Couples on level one communication should please note that they have a lot of work to do to make God happy in their marriage and to make their home conducive for the Holy Spirit.LEVEL 2 – Talking about themselves: Under this level, couples are not just talking about others or issues, but in addition talks about themselves. At this level, couples have moved a little bit on the ladder of good communication. They’ve started talking about themselves, this is a healthy development as it will allow them to understand themselves better and will bring them closer to each other and will make their marriage enjoyable.I will like to encourage couples to make sure they get to this level of communication; it will allow them to understand each other better and will turn them into friends and good parents.LEVEL 3 – Talking about their feelings: This is a level where couples are not talking about themselves only, but also talks about their sadness, joy, doubt, belief, pain, reservation, happiness, apprehension. At level three, couples are talking about what the other partner cannot see, feel, touch or perceive marriage. The counselors calls it ‘Sanctuary level’.Until you get to this level in your communication, you can never make your marriage what you want it to be. Hence, learn to go beyond one and two, decide to get to this “sanctuary level” where you can enjoy your marriage to the maximum.
I get a lot of emails which ask me various questions on the same variation of “when is the right time to end my marriage?;” and “how will I know when I am at this point?” In other words, the folks asking the questions really want to be sure that they won’t regret ending the marriage somewhere down the road. How do you know that you aren’t making a mistake or if you should try to save your marriage or work it out? Is is better to just cut your losses and move on or are you not yet at that point?The answers to these questions are very individual, but there are typically some behaviors and reactions that are indicative of a marriage that truly is over and there are some which indicate that it’s not really “the end.” I’ll discuss this more in the following article.Strong Negative Emotions Like Jealousy, Fear, And Anger Are Not Indications That It’s Time To End The Marriage: Often when people contact me and ask if they should end their marriage, I believe that they are really looking for someone to validate for them what it really is that they want to do. In other words, they want someone to approve or bless the decision. To be fair, you should know that I trend toward saving marriages when it is at all possible.Often, they will tell me things like “we can’t even stand to be in the same room together,” or “I feel so angry when I am with him,” and then think that these things are proof that it’s time to cut the losses and end the marriage. In fact, negative emotions based on possession, jealousy, anger, and fear are often indicative of quite the opposite. These things are often only proof that you still care enough, are affected enough, and still involved enough in the situation to experience these strong emotions.I know that this often isn’t what you want to hear, but it is the truth. You would not be this upset or this affected if this person did not matter to or effect you as they do. In contrast, people who are really at the natural and healthy end to their relationships feel indifference. They aren’t angry. They aren’t afraid. They don’t blame. If they feel anything it all, it is to wish their partner well. They are pretty much at peace with their decision because they knew they did everything that they could, which brings me to my next point.Knowing That You Did Everything You Could Is Often The First Step To Knowing You’re At The Natural End Of Your Marriage: Often the sense of doubt, insecurity, and indecision comes with the knowledge that you’ve been holding back in some way. Perhaps you know that there are things that you could have said but didn’t, or places where you might have given a little but didn’t, or things that the two of you might have tried but decided not to, for whatever reason.This often leaves you with the sinking feeling of uncertainty. You are left to wonder “what if.” What if you had said the things that you held back, of had given a little more and demanded a little less? What if you had tried counseling or a went with a different counselor? Granted, these things may have still left you at a dead end, but you have no way to know that if you didn’t try.So I often tell people who are asking me to validate their decision to end their marriage that I’m reluctant to do that until I know that they have really fully followed every possible lead. In order to walk away with peace and without doubt, you simply should not skip these steps. It’s the only way to know that you did all you could.Getting To A Place Of Indifference (And Why I Suspect That You Aren’t There Yet): People who know that their marriage is over (without having to ask) are often indifferent. What I mean by this is that there is no anger, or resentment, or even any additional questions. It’s just become clear that although they may well still feel affection for their spouse, the marriage was not the right thing for either of them. In short, they are both better off apart than together and this is obvious to them both because they both know that they’ve uncovered every stone and rock to get to the place where they are.A therapist used to ask me (when I was having my own martial issues) how I would respond if I saw my husband out after five years of being divorced. She would set up a whole scenario: he now has a beautiful new wife and a new family. He was doing well professionally and was very successful, etc. How would I feel if I saw them?Of course, the “right” answer here is that I would’ve felt happy for him. I would’ve felt no remorse and no tug at my heart because I voluntarily set him free when I was in a happy place. And, since I couldn’t possibly say that, my therapists’ theory was that I was still “stuck” because I knew deep down that I hadn’t earned my way out by doing everything that was needed to try to work it out first. It was he who wanted to end things, but was I giving up too easily?Although I didn’t think it at the time, this was very good advice. I wasn’t over my husband and I wasn’t ready to walk away from my marriage – although my pride and my anger didn’t allow me to see this at that time. I was no where near being indifferent. The fundamentals between my husband and I hadn’t changed, but the circumstances around us had and we had allowed that to project itself onto our marriage. I went about rectifying this in all the wrong ways. It wasn’t until I changed my attitude and checked my anger that I started to make real progress.And, often, if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer. People who know that the time has come don’t go looking for validation and aren’t researching this topic. They are peace with this and they don’t need anyone to tell them they are right. They know it already.
A lot of people seem to think that advice for a happy marriage is obvious. If this is true though, why are there so many unhappy marriages? When you are in a long term relationship, it can be difficult to look at the big picture. Because of this, it’s time to take a look at some tips that can help rejuvenate your marriage.First off, communicate with your partner! This is such an important tip. If your marriage does not have communication, then you are in big trouble. When I say communication, I don’t mean arguing or yelling at each other. I mean turning off the TV, sitting down together, and talking to each other like two adults.Second, if there are problems in your marriage, admit it! It can be easy to try and look past the fact there may be problems in your marriage. You may think that if you pretend everything is ok, then things will in fact turn out ok. This is not the way to handle problems in your marriage. You need to confront the problems in your marriage.Third, the more you put into your marriage, the more your partner will put into the marriage as well! If you do everything you can to make your partner happy, chances are they will return the favor and put extra effort into the marriage to make sure you are happy as well. So don’t be afraid to put a lot of effort into the marriage!Finally, fixing a marriage does not mean trying to fix your partner. If there is a problem in the marriage, it is a problem with both of you. You can not try to change your partner in hopes of fixing the marriage. A marriage is a team effort, therefore, you both need to work together to fix whatever problems you may be having in the marriage. Don’t just try to change your partner!Good luck!
Does your wife just disappear on you while not letting you know where she goes? She says that she is going out with her girlfriends when in reality she may be meeting up with someone else to have sex or to receive alternate affection from?If this is the case in your relationship, then it is only a matter of time before she will tell you that she wants to leave you for someone else. But, what if you could fix your current situation and make her totally stop what she was doing and give you back the much needed desire and affection that you deserve?You don’t have to accept what life gives you, but on the other hand, you can make your marriage work for the better. Imagine the possibilities if you would only allow each other to start trusting and confiding in each other more often.This will ultimately be the determining factor as the marriage progresses to a higher level of stability and emotion. Often times we find ourselves stuck in a rut not really knowing what to do to make the other person love you the way they used to. Applying the appropriate measure of safe, efficient and strategic techniques will ultimately put you in a better position to fix and save your marriage at hand.So, the next time she tells you that she is going out with friends, you can rest assure that the methods that you put in place, for her to physiologically and emotionally want you more, will take effect and you will see your new and happy reality take shape the way you want it to. Learn how to fix a relationship or marriage the right way, each and every time.
When it comes to ways on how to save a marriage, some people think that if a marriage is ending and a spouse has made up his or her mind to divorce, there is nothing that the other spouse can do about it. i.e: It’s not possible to “do” something that will save your marriage. Well, today I am standing here as a counter-example: My marriage was failing, my husband wanted a divorce, and everything seemed hopeless UNTIL I started doing the right things. And I stopped the divorce from happening.Before I build up your hopes of a magic solution that will quickly fix everything, I must confess that there is no such solution. However, if you follow the right path with enough determination; you can fix any marriage, you can stop any divorce and you can make your spouse love you more than ever; whatever the situation is. So please bear with me as I tell you how I repaired our relationship.First, when my husband said he wanted a divorce; I reacted the same way all spouses do when they learn it: I panicked. I begged him for forgiveness and pleaded for our marriage. This is what everyone thinks of doing (and probably does) and it is because out of the desperation in your mind, the emotions overwhelming you. You should avoid doing this at any cost. Yes, I did that too but all it did was to push my husband further away from me.If you want to learn how to save a marriage then you have to calm down first. You CAN repair your marriage but first it requires careful consideration of the situation and acting accordingly; not knee-jerk reactions and begging out of desperation will help you save your marriage. The first thing I did correctly was to relax and it is a step in the right direction to stop your divorce.
How Can You Save a Marriage? Read Here to See What I Did to Save My Marriage and What You Have to Do
Some people “advise” that if your spouse has decided on a divorce, there is nothing you can do to save a marriage. It will merely depend upon your spouse’s mind about you and the marriage – nothing you can do will affect that. Well, I am here today to say “Nonsense!” to all that.The fate of your marriage is in your hands only and you can guide it to wherever you wish. However, keep in mind that this is a double edged sword; which means that while if you do the right things you will definitely save your marriage, but if you do the wrong ones you will end up losing your marriage.So, we have to be able to tell the good things from the bad ones when you want to fix a marriage.Unfortunately, the instinctive reactions of a person to such a situation is the wrong thing to do. When you think your marriage is ending, you go desperate and start to apologize and beg to your spouse, in search of a “quick fix” that will repair every damage and solve every problem. The problem is, your marriage problems appeared in the course of your marriage, not overnight. And they will not vanish overnight.Which brings us to the right thing to do. The right thing to do is to go AGAINST your emotions. Do not allow them to overwhelm you – then they will leave you no choice but to kneel and beg for forgiveness from your spouse. The right thing that I did was to forego my emotions and what I felt should be done as I realized that my instincts were guiding me the wrong way; and ask for unbiased outside advice.
At the moment you are looking for ways on saving a marriage – and I congratulate you for that, and I want to call you my friend. I have been there, and I know how horrible it feels to be in a marriage that is ending. If only more people were like you and me and tried to save their marriages, the world would be a more unified place.I know that you feel like apologizing and begging your spouse for forgiveness. Maybe you have already done that. Like I did. Unfortunately, it is a big mistake that you should avoid. If you have already done this – stop it right now. Why?Because people want what they can’t have. When you beg to your spouse for saving your marriage, you are sending this subliminal message: “I am easy for you to have!” which will make your spouse’s subconscious interpret it in such a way that he or she will want you less.Instead of that principle working against you, make it work FOR you. How? Stop begging, stop apologizing, stop everything that would make you look needy. Stand up for yourself, and show our spouse that you can be without him or her – you won’t die. This will immediately make you more attractive, because your spouse will now reconsider his stance now that he or she knows you are not easy to have.Another way which you can utilize this principle in your advantage is by being absent. No, don’t move into another place but simply don’t be in front of your spouse’s eyes for the whole day. This will make your spouse somewhat start to “miss” you either consciously or subconsciously, and this will work to your advantage.
How to save your marriage – Any marriage can be saved, when you are willing to work at it. When you were first married, life was good. You were happy. Somewhere down the road, things started to change, and not for the better. Unfortunately, we aren’t given any kind of manual or even any knowledge when we get married. So, how are married couples supposed to know what to do when life gets rough?With the economy plunging, money troubles are killing marriages. Money is causing more stress than ever before. Also, the lifestyles we lead are wreaking havoc on our marriages. You simply can’t deal with problems when they arise, when both of you go to work all day, then come home and take care of the kids and house. What time is left?When situations become difficult, our natural response is to run. To get away from what is hurting us. That’s the main reason the marriage suffers! When you are married, you simply cannot run away from the problems – you HAVE to make time to face them, and deal with them. Too many couple just won’t take the time to do this, and their marriage falls apart. It doesn’t have to be this way!To learn how to save your marriage, you have to make time to sit down with your spouse and talk about things. Try to see it through their eyes. Sometimes seeing things another way will enable you to see what the problem is, and enables you to remedy the problem.When couples work together, you will learn new things from each other – new ideas on how to change things around for the better. For both of you.