“How Do I Save My Marriage?” This was the only sentence roaming in my mind some time ago. My marriage was definitely ending – there is no question about that. It feels bad enough to be in a troubled marriage, but when you are the side that wants to save the marriage, it feels even worse.My spouse wasn’t paying any attention to me at all now – and I went desperate by asking “how do I save my marriage” over and over to myself, and trying to think of ways. The things I thought of to stop my divorce were worthless – they were laughable. Anyone looking from outside would know they would do absolutely nothing on how to save my marriage, but worse they would push my spouse even further away from me.Yet, I was devastated, I was desperate and I was acting only according to my instincts. And my instincts told me: ”You love your spouse! You cannot leave him go! Beg him, cry to him, do something!”I did that – exactly. I begged for him not to go away. I cried openly in front of him so that he would see how much I loved him, and how much I wanted to save our troubled marriage. Now – was it possible at all that by begging I was going to go anywhere on getting my spouse back to me? It wasn’t. Yet, I couldn’t think of that at that moment.But then another moment came and I realized that the things I thought myself were absolutely worthless – and began seeking outside advice. This is when the tables turned and I not only saved my marriage, but made it better than it had ever been.Looking for outside advice – like you are doing now, is the best answer to the question “how do I save my marriage”. Never answer this question yourself – the answer will be worthless.
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Are you looking for something more in a marriage that can bring you both peace and amplify the life of your relationship? Seeking a great marriage comes with wonderful rewards and opportunities for two souls to evolve together gracefully through time. The pure and simple enjoyment of being together and knowing that it can be done is an awareness that is most often overlooked in failing marriages.Hard work and knowledge come into play when attempting to make a marriage greater than what it already is or “needs to be”. If you want a guide to a great marriage and want to enjoy the fruits of your labor in making your marriage work most effectively and efficiently that you are one step ahead of everyone else. There are methods and strategic techniques that you can put in place in order to make your marriage happier stronger and more prosperous.Determining this early can be most beneficial to you and your marriage in the long run. Referencing material that can truly benefit you both can be quite rewarding and satisfying for each of you. Even if the knowledge of trying to fix a relationship or marriage is currently one-sided. As long as you can understand that, even if you are only seeking to make you marriage better, then you are one step closer to having that reality come true. Psychological and strategic techniques are readily available to you as they guide you to a more prosperous and healthy marriage. So, good luck and make sure you see the information provided below.
If you think your marriage is in a severe crisis but you don’t just want to accept a divorce and you want to save your marriage; then let me first say that I have been in your exact situation some time ago. So, I know the feelings you are going through right now. But know that I have saved my marriage from what seemed to be a totally hopeless situation. I know – you are saying “But I have tried everything and still my spouse won’t move an inch!”. Rest assured – you haven’t done what it really takes to stop a divorce.What you need to do immediately is to stop being depressed and desperate. Being desperate brings the thoughts of “I must act! I can’t just wait and watch my marriage ending!!” in which you feel forced to do desperate, damaging and dangerous actions such as trying to talk your spouse out of the divorce, and begging when that doesn’t work. Those even further damage your marriage because they all make your spouse even more fed up with the marriage.You have to relax – KNOW that you can save your marriage, and if you do the right things, you will. But to do that, you have to calm down first. This will allow your brain to really process what is going on right now – a marriage in crisis is a lot to consider. It will give you time to think about ways on saving your marriage. Another crucial point is that; being calm will mean that you give your spouse some very precious “alone” time which will make them reconsider everything.The calm, thoughtful state of mind is a “marriage saving” state of mind. It was what saved my marriage from a divorce – I made no progress until I stopped being and acting desperate.I know that this is easier said than done, but it is exactly how I stopped my divorce and saved my marriage from what looked like a totally desperate situation. Like you, I needed help doing this. I found help from an outside source – and now I am your “outside source”, and want to show you what I exactly did to save my marriage and how I did it.
Having lived abroad in various Asian and South East Asian countries for over fifteen years, I have some awareness of the challenge a mixed Asian and Western marriage can face, especially when the bride is brought back to a Western country. I was not married when I lived abroad, and as is natural with youth, I ended up with an Asian girlfriend more often than a western girl. I adored my Asian girlfriends. They were warm, cheerful and had a delightful, innocent manner that definitely charmed my heart in those days. When I was young the relationships were very simple and uncomplicated. As I grew older however, and my marrying potential grew, I found that what had once been a casual relationship became much more complex. Perhaps that’s the same with any budding relationship, the more deeply involved you become, the more issues you have to sort through. In my case, however, I believe that the cultural differences and expectations about relationships added a new level of complexity. It’s not that I haven’t seen successful inter-cultural relationships. I have, of course. One of my best mates ended up with a lovely Malaysian wife, and they’ve been together now for over twenty years, have three beautiful daughters, and a successful hardware business. With some of my other friends who married Asian women, a few are still happily married and quite a few have split up–usually citing the cultural differences were too difficult to overcome, and often mentioning that honest, open communication was difficult to achieve. Yet today I see many advertisements on the internet, offering Asian brides or mail-order brides. What is it that causes a man to seek overseas for a bride, rather than finding a woman he can be close to in his own country? Women especially seem to have a difficult time figuring out what drives men in this way. I think I know why men look overseas, particularly to Asian countries, when looking for a wife. Without wanting to stereotype any race, and at least from my observations, Asian women are generally meeker, more willing to serve and please, and often content with a husband who provides for them and their children than their Western, fiercely independent counterparts. Many men like those qualities in a woman, or at least they think they do. Of course, until you actually live with an Asian woman you really don’t see the other side. They can be very jealous and suspicious, they have also been known to pretend love but marry only for a foreign citizenship and money. Many a man has been duped out of a fair bit of his life savings by his new wife who promises him the world, then divorces him after a couple of years, taking half of his property and savings with her. Not only do you marry the cute Asian woman, but you also marry her entire family, or so it seems! Asians are very loyal to ‘family’, and you will be expected to be just as loyal and devoted if you marry an Asian. I do understand certain men’s yearning for a soft, meek Asian wife. But I do think there’s a fair danger and you’re taking a real risk ordering one on line. Holiday romances seldom seem to work out either. If you’re seriously considering taking an Asian bride, I’d suggest you go and work in Thailand, or Malaysia or Vietnam, get to know people there, make friends, and then see what develops. It’s much more natural that way, and you can be sure that you’re really getting what you’re looking for in a wife.
Looking for marriage counseling tips can be extremely helpful in saving your marriage. They offer excellent ways to stop divorces, to turn your relationship around, and even make it stronger than it was before. By surviving these problem areas, your relationship grows in strength, and you grow in coping skills.You can find tips for saving your marriage just about anywhere on the net today. Lots of free advice is out there for the taking, and by searching them out it shows you care enough to take the time and make the effort. This goes a long way in healing a broken relationship.Many professionals offers marriage counseling tips that are really good in order to drum up business for more in-depth counseling. They offer good insights and ways to stop divorces. Divorce rates have skyrocketed in the past decades, due to stress and lack of advice. But now, if two people want to get help, help can be found and taken advantage of.No relationship is flawless. And many enter into marriage believing them and their mate are infallible and inseparable, only to find out that life and its pressures has a way of test this and pushing it to the limit. So being armed with the proper information and reaction techniques can be a huge and wonderful help.Marriage counseling tips come from thousands of other marriages that were also ‘one the rocks’. Then by the same mistakes showing up time and time again, professionals created tips for avoiding these pitfalls, and making ways to stop divorce before it has time to take shape.
Poison ivy is my nemesis. I’ve learned the hard way to stay as far away from it as possible or suffer the consequences for weeks. I used to try to carefully pull it myself, but I’m convinced that the oils are strangely attracted to me. Now, when I see it in the yard, I stop weeding or whatever I’m doing and ask someone else to carefully remove it for me.If we treated sexual temptation in the same way, there would be a lot less remorse, heartbreak and broken marriages. Sexual temptation is not something that we are adequately equipped to face head-on.Two of my female interviewees shed light on how to handle tempting situations. (Maybe you think women are never tempted, but they are often tempted to begin emotional affairs, which can lead to physical affairs. Men are believed to physically cheat more frequently, so it’s even more important for them to not place themselves in risky situations.)So, back to the two women. The first was a newlywed who didn’t feel her husband was meeting her needs. She opened up to a man at work who was also unhappy in his marriage. They had lunches and team-building meetings together. Before long, their one-on-one lunches were being held at a local motel. This wife was very fortunate to salvage her marriage 30 years ago, and both spouses made major changes over a long period of time to build a new relationship. Many marriages would not have survived this major breach of trust.The second woman-who thought she would never be tempted sexually-was attracted to a music teacher with whom she had private lessons at home. Her husband was busy with work, and she found herself listening too hard for the instructor’s compliments and enjoying his company too much. She decided to quit the lessons and tell her husband about her feelings. The fact that her husband had no jealousy or feelings of mistrust (in fact he just joked about it) is a testament to the strength of their relationship. She ended the contact before her feelings became a problem, but she felt it wasn’t worth risking her marriage to place herself in a tempting situation.I doubt there’s anyone who has been married more than a few years who hasn’t faced at least a tinge of attraction or temptation toward someone other than their spouse. Mutual attraction can be a nice feeling. You find someone who has common interests, “gets” your personality or is fun to be with. However, you only have to read about the politicians, celebrities, and even people of faith, whose private lives have been splashed across the news to know it’s a serious and common problem. They all probably thought they could handle the temptation.Do you think flirtations and private communication with members of the opposite sex are no big deal? Better to treat these liaisons like poison ivy.
Let’s face the fact, not every husband has the ability, time or focus to write romantic love letters that stir the emotions of their wife. To suggest that everyone can be a master of the subtle nuances of romance is to suggest that everyone could be a nuclear physicist. So if you are not a physicist – read on, because there is hope for the romantically challenged. And if you are a physicist, you are probably a bit of a geek – so there is help you as well!All too often it is said, “I wish you would be more romantic.” If you are taking the time to read this and haven’t heard this, it is likely that your wife is saying to her friends in confidence, “I wish my husband was more romantic.”All this ‘wishing’ by women is based on the mistaken belief that somewhere deep inside every husband is this incredible romantic inner-child fighting to be set free. In reality, maybe, just maybe, the genetic difference between the sexes not only affects the way we physically look on the outside – it also permanently influences the way we relate to the world from within. Or possibly, how differently young boys and girls are raised forever affects the how adults interact with each other. Next time these women set out on a journey to find this elusive romantic inner child hiding in their husband, they should first locate their own inner computer technician or mechanic.There is absolutely no intention to mock one gender or the other; or to apply generalizations to individuals. Each gender and each person has their own set of strength and weaknesses. The critical element to creating a strong vibrant marriage, where each partner feels fulfilled, is to focus on the positive strengths while minimizing (or eliminating) the effects of a person’s weaknesses.Archimedes said, “Give me a lever long enough, a place to stand and I can move the world.” Being romantic is no different. Give a man a plan of action (reminders), the right tools (advice and suggestions) and he can make a woman’s heart flutter. The good news is that any man can be a knight in shining armor if put into the right situation.By using the interactive capabilities of the internet, there is hope for the romantically challenged husband, his wife and their marriage. To create incredible romance for your wife, you need only take advantage of resources available on a well designed marriage building website. While some of the online services are basic, others have tremendous capabilities to improve the romantic potential, increase you wife’s confidence in the relationship and add spice to the marriage. In addition to romantic suggestions, tips and ideas, full featured sites will have a reminder service that you can program with important anniversaries and birthdays. A few even provide romantic letter and poem templates that you copy and quickly personalize for your situation. Do a quick search for “Romantic Outsourcing” to see what is available to you and what best fits your needs.An important aspect to maintaining the romance in your marriage is by meeting the needs of your spouse – in the way she wants her needs to be met. Every one is different and an individual’s needs change over time. Be flexible and make sure to keep the romance fresh with new ideas. Here are some suggestions:
Just because you enjoy practical gifts, like a table saw, doesn’t mean your wife is the same. Tailor your romantic exploits to her needs.
Few people would enjoy chocolate cake every night. At some point the enjoyment wears off. Mix it up and keep it fresh.
Romance is not necessarily about spending money, it is about making an emotional connection.
Personalize your romantic gestures. Generic off-the-shelf greeting cards just do not have much of an impact.
If what you are doing is not working – do something else. Every woman has a romantic button – you just have to figure out how to push it.
At sometime in the past a combination of romantic gestures worked to capture your wife’s imagination. How do we know this to be true? She married you! It is just a matter of making that connection again.
If you’ve been married for any length of time then you know that you or your spouse can start to demonstrate behaviors that may not please one another very much. This can be little things like passing gas or picking the nose, to the more serious stuff like cheating with another person. Regardless of the issue involved if you feel or know that your relationship is going down the wrong track you need to take action to bring it back to where it should be. Here are a three steps to start moving back in the right direction. Number one, remember why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place. Two obtain some high quality information about how to maintain a loving marriage. Lastly number three taking action on the information that you find. Let’s look at this in more detail below.Concentrate on The PositiveDecide why your marriage is important. Before you got married you were in love and wanted to share your life together forever. You need to focus on why that was important, and what were the reasons that you felt that way in the beginning. Ultimately, you need to remind your spouse that your marriage was not an accident, and that you do indeed love each other. This might take some time an patience but it’s an important first step.Get Some Quality HelpYou’ll need to obtain some quality information on what it means to married, and how to maintain a healthy relationship. Even if you feel like it is not able to be saved you should at least start the process of gathering the information. Trying to have your spouse involved in this is the optimum situation, but chances are they may not be receptive to this right now. The important thing is to start getting the information that you need to move forward. Don’t give up.Act AccordinglyIt is almost impossible to ignore someone that is treating you with respect and being a good partner and person. Taking action on the information you find in your fact finding mission is the next step in getting your relationship back on track. It is difficult to remain hard at heart to someone that is being kind to you.
Every married couple at some point or another feels that the relationship is becoming stretched and thus the parties feel that they are struggling in their everyday lives and find it difficult to cope with all the things that are happening to them. Luckily help is available online.Difficult marriagesAfter the I do’s normal life starts creeping in and maybe there are times where the couple wishes to go back to the relationship before marriage where things looked better. Those however are things of the past and a couple needs to stay together and create a healthy way of living each other’s love with all the virtues and vices included.Whether for small things that you have postponed talking to your partner, money problems, sexual or infidelity issues, feelings are very difficult to deal with alone and marriage counselling services are available online.The benefits of online marriage counselingIt is important to know that help is available when needed, especially in difficult moments. Carrying out day to day chores, dealing with kids’ school assignments, work and stress, finding time for oneself and taking care of your better half are very difficult to juggle, even when serious health or emotional problems are not present. We end up running after time and take the people we love for granted.Online marriage counsellors are available at any time of the day and can be contacted from home, without needing to waste time in driving, finding parking and physically going to another location. You will have the comfort of your own home environment yet having the privacy needed. Both partners can find the right time to talk with the counsellor separately or together with text, webcam or voice chat. You can find better ways of communicating and work out problems together. Healthier marriages are possible and they can be repaired online.
Communication is a process of sending a message through a medium to the receiver. It basically means to pass on or share or exchange views, information, ideas, knowledge, feelings and emotions.Lack of communication is the cause of most marital problems. There could be a minor or a major information distortion. Lack of communication is the mother of frustrations in a marriage.Types of CommunicationThere are two major types of communication:a. Verbal: This could be in form of discussion, argument, whisper, murmur, rebuke, protest, command, encourage, praise, appeal, gossip, instruct, correct, appreciate, etc.b. Nonverbal: This could be signs or signals. This could be in form of nose twitching, hissing, door slamming, bunching of legs, clapping, touching, winking of eyes, etc.Kinds of Communication1. Zero Communication: This is when there is no communication at all between the couples. When couples are no more in talking term. This show a sign of a family that is about to fall. Lack of communication in the home is a threat to the peaceful existence of the family.2. Plastic Communication: This is when communication has no root, not sincere, not direct. This shows a sign of a poisoned relationship. Guard your marriage against such communication which does not have its root in total sincerity and faithfulness.3. Negative Communication: This involves dangerous communication. It involves negative communication like cursing, murmuring, abusing or insulting, protesting, etc.4. Bulk Communication: This is handling a lot of issues at the same time, thereby confusing the receiver. Thereby affecting the rate of understanding between couples.5. Half Communication: This is making incomplete statements which could be refer to as half truths.6. Object Communication: Directing one’s comment to object instead of addressing the subject. For instance, the husband may look at a badly prepared soup and say “You this peppery soup how I wish I had somebody with good sense that can prepare you better, I would have enjoyed you”. By saying this he is passing a message across to the wife that the soup is bad. Though in a wrong way.7. Subject Communication: This is the situation when a person addresses the subject instead of the object of discussion. The husband of a woman that cooked a bad food may say, “Woman, you have been careless in everything, everything you do in this house is bad” instead of telling the wife how badly the food was prepared, may be peppery, or salty, he is busy castigating the woman. It could not be true, that the woman has never done anything right in that house.8. Sandwich Communication: This is the level of communication that combines both negative and positive to produce a positive result. It is like commendation, correction and condemnation. For example, “Darling, thank you for this wonderful food. You can just try to reduce the pepper tomorrow; all the same it is a wonderful meal. I always say you are the best cook”. This kind of woman will take to the correction of her husband without any grudges because of the commendation.9. Extra Mile Communication: This is when a partner goes beyond commendation to sing the praise of his partner calling him beautiful names and telling him how handsome he is. These kinds of communication are missing in our home today that is why we encounter diverse problems in marriages today. Check your own marriage, check the level of communication in your home and change for good. Allow God to use your mouth for the betterment of your home.