Communication is imperative in the pursuit of marital success. There are three levels of communication in marriage. These are:LEVEL 1 – Talking about others: At this level, couples will only talk about other people like; friends, children or about issues. This may involve politics, education, current affairs, children school fees, church, Sunday school business.At this level, the discussion will not involve the couple themselves but rather on other things. Most couples relate only on this level and this level of communication only make a distant friend. Stopping at this level on the ladder of communication is very dangerous. Couples on level one communication should please note that they have a lot of work to do to make God happy in their marriage and to make their home conducive for the Holy Spirit.LEVEL 2 – Talking about themselves: Under this level, couples are not just talking about others or issues, but in addition talks about themselves. At this level, couples have moved a little bit on the ladder of good communication. They’ve started talking about themselves, this is a healthy development as it will allow them to understand themselves better and will bring them closer to each other and will make their marriage enjoyable.I will like to encourage couples to make sure they get to this level of communication; it will allow them to understand each other better and will turn them into friends and good parents.LEVEL 3 – Talking about their feelings: This is a level where couples are not talking about themselves only, but also talks about their sadness, joy, doubt, belief, pain, reservation, happiness, apprehension. At level three, couples are talking about what the other partner cannot see, feel, touch or perceive marriage. The counselors calls it ‘Sanctuary level’.Until you get to this level in your communication, you can never make your marriage what you want it to be. Hence, learn to go beyond one and two, decide to get to this “sanctuary level” where you can enjoy your marriage to the maximum.
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How to stop a divorce – the question that is haunting you day in and day out. There IS still time to save your marriage, you just need to take some time and figure out what’s wrong, and fix it. Even the best of marriages have their problems. The key to staying married is learning how to effectively deal with those problems.Couples who know how to communicate effectively with one another are the ones who will work through their problems. When couples don’t talk about the little things that bother them, those little things grow to big things. This is what causes the friction in the marriage. When you want to save your marriage, you absolutely MUST learn how to communicate effectively with your partner!Another way to save your marriage is to pay attention to each other. It may sound simple enough, but too many times marital problems start simply because one spouse believes that the other doesn’t pay them enough attention.Show your partner that you respect their opinions, their wants and needs, and their material possessions. When you show them that you care, they will do the same for you and yours.Even if you don’t especially like something your spouse is interested in, try to have an interest in it. Every once in a while, surprise them with going somewhere they like to go, or doing something they like to do. When you want to learn how to stop a divorce, take a step back and try to look at your marriage from another person’s perspective.
It doesn’t matter which country, or culture you’re in – marriage is the most sacred institution. That’s why it’s saddening to see that surveys point out that 87% of all marriages fail. So I want to congratulate you for trying to save your marriage – it’s noble. Saving a marriage is not an easy thing to do – that’s why I want to help you. And I CAN help you, because I have been in your situation.I know first-hand all the feelings of pain of being in a marriage crisis. It’s so heartbreaking to see your marriage circling the drain and approaching its end. When I was in that situation, I was so desperate to do anything to prevent a divorce and save my marriage.Unfortunate enough, this desperate state of mind blurred my vision and I couldn’t think clearly. And out of desperation, I did the worst thing – I begged my husband for forgiveness. This is something you should definitely avoid – when you’re begging, you’re being needy and pathetic. And no one wants such a person as a spouse.The first thing to do to save your marriage is to get control over your emotions and do not let them guide you into doing the wrong things. You will get rid of your desperation – that’s how I prevented a divorce. If you sincerely want to do this, you can also. Do not forget that if you do the right things, you will save your marriage – so from this moment on you know that whatever happens in your marriage after this point depends entirely upon you.
Where a person should start amidst a conflict between two people? One must start treating the core of the problem. Well, here is a husband’s dilemma: How do I get my wife to love me again?Then, what will be the next step? Know your purpose in wanting to resolve this matter. Some of the purposes may include:1. The husband is after the welfare of his family.2. The husband wants a whole happy family.3. The husband is head over heels in love with her wife.You already know why you want to achieve this. So, what difference it may bring? It will be your motivation to bring back the love of your inspiration in life.Move forward. This is the time to take the needed step.1. Court your wife, and make it sweeter this time around.2. Send her flowers even almost everyday. Express your affections to her every time you meet her at home, visit her in your children’s school, or even accompany her to have your groceries for the week.3. This time, be the wife at least for a week. Do whatever she is doing as a wife and mother.4. Wash the dishes, do the laundry and iron clothes. Make the house clean, especially your bedroom. Fill your room with fresh flowers, most of the time.5. Finally, spend more time with your wife and children. Do this to renew your bond, first as couples; and, significantly, as a whole family.My Best Wishes on getting your wife’s love back forever.
If your marriage is heading for the rocks and you don’t want it to, then the question you’ve got to ask is: “How to save my marriage?” You’ve invested your heart into marriage with your spouse and you don’t want to head for the divorce courts. I know you want to make things work but you just don’t know how. Don’t despair! I’m here to tell you about 3 great strategies that are guaranteed to bring the love of your life back into your arms again:Love Your Spouse All Over AgainBring back the romance into your marriage by loving your spouse once again. Look at them like it was the first time you met. Remember those heady days when just the sight of your spouse made you feel weak in the knees? The memory of these beautiful times is a powerful precursor to answering the perennial question of “How to save my marriage?” Express and confirm your love with the sweet affirming words you once used so frequently. The right words can have a tremendously positive effect on the state of your marriage. Make quality time with your spouse and treat them with the consideration, kindness and respect that you once showed when you were both very much in love with each other. Loving actions draw out the best in people who will reciprocate in similar ways. Touch tenderly once more, like you did before, when every inch of their person was more precious to you than diamonds.Be Caring and Tender – Forget the Past SlightsWhen you’re at the stage that you’re thinking seriously about “How to save my marriage?” you need to take a long, hard look at what you can do to change things. Chuck out the score card you kept of all the wrongs, real or imagined that your spouse did over the years. Start with a fresh slate. Write down all those traits that once made you believe you found a gold mine in your spouse. Dig deep into your heart, unblock it if you must, and find the language that made you feel tender, warm and loving towards your spouse. You’ll be surprised at the myriad qualities that your spouse possesses which you still find attractive. And you’ll find that soft place within you again to make the internal changes that will bring out your warmth and tenderness. You’ll learn another answer to your question: “How to save my marriage?”Be A Bearer Of GiftsDo you recall your pleasure at receiving gifts from your spouse on special occasions? Gift giving is a thoughtful way to say you love and appreciate the special person you are sharing your life and home with. Giving a gift diffuses tension and turns the focus of an interaction on being thankful. It’s one of the best solutions you can adopt when you are racking your mind about “How to save my marriage?”
It is the most often asked question by couples experiencing problems in the relation.Of course, it can be saved if you opt for following some basic steps. As per a recent study, it has been discovered that divorce led to some health related problems like diabetes, heart disease, depression and cancer. For these health reasons, it is significant to save the marriage.However, the worst part is that some relationships can not be saved because of incompatible differences between both partners; it is really a matter of shame. On the other hand, some relationships are broken at the first indication of problems without parties attempting to conquer their issue.Tip 1Firstly, one needs to understand that every relationship hits a stumbling block at some phase of life and it is pretty normal, so you should not give up just because things do not go as per the map. Whenever you encounter an obstacle or two, it is important to work as team to overcome these. Do not stop talking with each other, articulate your sentiments and let everything be opened to other.Tip 2You should learn to appreciate and love each other. Talk about the hurdles, avoid arguments and do not ever try to sweep out any problem as it will only develop more misunderstandings. Always remember that marriage is not a “one way street” rather you both have to make equal efforts to maintain excitement and happiness in the relationship. Love simply means putting your spouse higher than self. If both partners start practicing it, they will begin acting in a considerate way and soon will accomplish that it is good to save the marriage rather than opting for divorce.
Understanding that your marriage will probably be under a great deal of stress as you adjust to new children and your changing roles, it is important that you invest the time to nurture your relationship with your spouse during this challenging period. Following are a few suggestions to help strengthen your marriage.Avoid Comparisons- Resist the temptation to compare your spouse to others. There is no shortage of stories about how great other husbands are. The ensuing comparisons will only make you feel resentful or bitter. You’d do better to focus on your husband’s strengths rather than concentrate on his weaknesses.Touch- This is an important form of communication in a marriage. Have you ever noticed how cold a relationship appears when couples seem unable to touch and hold each other? It’s as if there is an invisible wall between them. Make it point to hold each other. Take your husband’s hand while walking at the mall; touch him on the shoulder as you walk by; greet him with a kiss and a hug -daily.Flirt- Always looks for opportunities to flirt with your spouse. Provocative greeting cards, occasional slaps on the rear, suggestive whispers, a wink from across the room-these all add dimension to a marriage and keep the passion alive.Play-Find an activity that you both enjoy and do it regularly. Our children need to understand that a healthy marriage is a vital element of a healthy family. Kids naturally think that the world revolves around them. Spending time alone with our spouse helps send the message to our children that they aren’t the only ones in the family. Dating makes it clear that Mom and Dad have their own special relationship and that they need time with each other occasionally to keep it healthy.Follow the Rules of Engagement- All marriages have conflict; it’s a fact of life. But how we handle these conflicts can have a lasting impact on our marriage and on our physical well-being. Research at Ohio State University showed that when couples used sarcasm, insults, criticism, and put- downs during conflict, their bodies produced higher levels of stress hormones.Give Each Other Space- Space can become a treasured commodity when you have children. Both husbands and wives need occasional time alone, particularly when the children are young. In a healthy marriage, giving your husband the space he needs will likely be a favor that he returns to you.Avoid Jealousy- When we accept our redefined role in the marriage, we need to understand that the perks associated with our new job also change, and that they will not be similar to those of our spouse.Forgive, Forgive, and Forgive- The secret to a strong marriage isn’t the perfect relationship or the perfect spouse, it’s forgiveness. We all screw up, sometimes royalty. Forgiveness means that we move forward, ignoring the inclination to revisit the past over and over again. If your marriage is suffering from some old grievance, and divorce is not an option, then you have nothing left but to forgive.In a world in which marriage is so often an object of derision, may yours silence the critics.
For long time there has been a myth, that men get married because they have to or just for their status and women on the other hand are known to get married for love. Though that seem to have changed since women who are financially unstable will engage in long term relationship or get married to ensure bills are paid and children have good life and education. While only few men will get married out of love.When one is single and young, they enjoy all the freedom that come with single hood such as; calling as many lovers as you can at comfort of your house rather than sneaking outside, you hang out with friends and come home late or even sleeping out, being less active since you do not have a lot of responsibility and doing whatever you want when you want without anyone approval.But, as times passes by and age is piling up, you do not enjoy life like before. Every time you return to an empty house it starts becoming unbearable. This is when one feels very lonely and bored. You start to envy things you could have got long time like children and spouse. Some people regard children as burden ,but they are blessing .When you get old or sick they will be the one to take care of you, they also take on your dream from where you stopped.Marriage works for some people while being single is something to be proud of for others, thus there is no status that is better than the other. Therefore one should follow their heart and choose what suits them. Life has its own challenges either way; I do not believe being single or married defines you or gives you happiness. You can be married or single and happy beyond imagination. In the holy book God made Adam and Eve to live together.
We’ve all heard the childhood chirp that goes–”First comes love, then comes marriage…” Most people can even recall where they were when they first heard it, and who they were with. Most likely the other kids chimed in with the singy-songy little ditty when they imagined us a bit too close to a member of the opposite sex in second grade. Kids are very good at using their radar to embarrass each other, and of course oblivious to the realities of marriage. We adults may very well rearrange the chant to say “First comes love, then comes–a civil contract?” Not so romantic heard that way, but a lot closer to reality nonetheless.Civil marriage is a legal construct, thus the law gives it efficacy and influence in our society. Many people mention the traditional aspect of marriage, but the simple fact is that marriage itself has continually evolved over time, bending and contouring itself to the needs of people who partook of its myriad benefits and protections.And the law hasn’t always been particularly benevolent to the parties involved. Only a few decades ago a traditional part of marriage was a codicil called coverture. From the French word for ‘covered’, coverture defined two people in marriage as one unit, the primary member of which was the man. Under coverture women were not allowed to own property, receive money for themselves, or pursue an education against the wishes of their husbands. Of course the law has since been altered to remove such a blatant piece of discrimination.Hundreds of years ago marriage was solely the means to an end, that being the solidification of property claims. This was true largely of the landed gentry, as the marriage of peasantry was little more than the ritualistic ‘jumping the broom’ identified in certain other cultures. The lower classes had no property, so marriage for them was a matter of convenience and necessity. Common law marriage was a routine status in this country in the early part of the 19th, and into the 20th century, for the simple reason that judges were few and far between, and people needed to settle in and have children for help on their farms. Waiting for legal purveyors of civil marriage, or any other civil affair to make the rounds was a luxury.Even farther back in history, in the early years of the Catholic Church, marriage was regarded as a strictly legal affair, along the same lines as recently relevant Roman laws. The church didn’t recognize marriage as a sacrament for nearly 700 years. Tradition has always had a way of bending and twisting to suit our needs, and that will continue. Indeed, marriage itself has always been an evolving institution, largely because of changes in the law pertaining to it.This is one reason that marriage benefits anyone entering into it; there are legal protections for nearly every aspect of civil marriage, including all the following, a list that is by no means definitive: Assumption of spouse’s pension; automatic inheritance; automatic housing lease transfer; bereavement leave, or indeed any provision under the Family Medical Leave Act; burial determination; certain property rights; child custody; crime victim’s recovery benefits; divorce protections; domestic violence protection; exemption from property tax on partner’s death; immunity from testifying against a spouse, and on and on, all provisions in direct reference to legalities.Indeed, our society has recognized that marriage is so central to stability and harmony that it’s hard to overestimate its value.And here, ironically, is one of the fundamental legal benefits of civil marriage: Divorce. That’s right. Without marriage there can be no divorce. This seems painfully obvious, but the implication is not as clear as it may seem. Being a legal entity, civil marriage provides protections. It is a contract between two people and the state in which they marry. And, as we know all too well, many marriages end in divorce. The stated legal protections are much more critical at that time than at the onset of a civil marriage. Without marriage, the ‘divorce’ proceeding must be conducted without protection of any kind for one or both parties. Thus the dilemma: if no civil marriage–how to provide protections to citizens, when a relationship involving property, or even children ends?Marriage is immersed in facts that are rarely discussed, and which always present a somewhat different reality than at first assumed. First comes love, then come–the lawyers!
Many wives have to deal with husbands who fall out of love, and you may be one of them. What should you do when things reach such a state? With the popularity that divorce has gained over the years, it is very easy to start contemplating taking that step. You are bound to be hurt greatly when your husband tells you that he no longer loves you. However, you should not just resign yourself to witnessing the end of your relationship helplessly.There are some helpful steps that you should take if your husband falls out of love. You can rekindle his passion towards you, and bring back the sparkle in your marriage.Determine the ways in which you have personally changedYou should realize that change is inevitable in life, and both you and your husband are not immune to change. However, you should bear in mind the fact that your husband was certainly deeply in love with you at some time in the past.Before you start accusing him of how much he has changed, you should determine how you have personally changed over time. Try to figure out the things that used to make him go crazy for you. Have you stopped doing these things for one reason or another?Make him feel like your partnerAfter walking down the aisle, many people soon get into the daily routine of marriage. If this goes on for a while, you may realize that you and your husband have turned into more of room mates than partners.You should take definite steps to make your husband feel like the partner that he is. Make him feel special by focusing on him. If he senses that you seem to be more interested in others, even your kids, he will feel left out and begin to fall out of love with you.Try to think of how you used to enjoy each others company during your honeymoon. Although you certainly have other responsibilities now, you should still dedicate some time apart just for the two of you. You may take time away from distractions at least once a week in order to strengthen the connection between you. You may even plan another honeymoon!If you notice that your husband is starting to fall out of love, you should take measures to make him realize how special he is to you.Have a positive attitudeNegativity is a good killer of affection. You should therefore strive to be more positive with your husband. While it is true that you will experience some frustration, don’t take them out on your husband. If you want him to be happy when you are around, you should be more positive.