How hard is it to watch a marriage circling down the drain? Not that much, unless it is your marriage. And how hard is it to see your marriage end, when YOU are the spouse who wants to save the marriage? It’s one of the hardest things one can encounter.I assume that you want to save your marriage because you are reading this article. In that case – I feel for you, my friend. I called you a friend because I have been in this exact situation and know how horrible it feels. It felt awful to see that my husband didn’t really care about me or the marriage. I did everything I could think of – but nothing worked and everything looked and FELT so hopeless.But let’s fast forward to today now – my marriage is still here, it’s much more firm than it has ever been, and my spouse loves me more than anything. What more could someone ask in life?And you know what – the things that changed everything for me is simple. Yes, then, every marriage can be saved, if you do the right things.What I did to save my marriage was a psychological method called “being inaccessible”. It might already be speaking for itself – you act to be the “inaccessible, unreachable” person to your spouse. This suddenly makes you much more attractive than the desperate, begging, needy spouse.It might sound like a lot, or even impossible to do. But you CAN do it. And you have to do it. This is a fundamental law of the universe – people want what they can’t have. This isn’t changing anytime soon – so you better start using it to your advantage; because it’s working to your DISADVANTAGE right now!
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This article is written for Christian marriages. God established marriage and God designed marriage and marriage was created for God’s purpose. We ought to manage our marriage His way, don’t you think?A Christian Marriage Must Have God at the Forefront!If you want to have a happy marriage then don’t treat your marriage like everyone else does. Love in society is not the same kind of love that Jesus taught! If a husband doesn’t love his wife properly, in the ways taught by Christ, she in turn will not love (submit to) her husband. Societies view of love has turned marriage upside down. This is the basis for most, if not all, marriage problems. A Christian marriage must be managed with God at the forefront! We must go back to the teachings of Christ on what love is and then base our marriage on that kind of love.True Christians should not be a part of the worldly culture of society because they bring the rebellious views back into their own lives. This is where all of the confusion on the submission thing has gone awry within the Christian community. Even some of the Christian churches have got it wrong and this in turn makes everyone blind to the truth.How Is A Husband Instructed To Love His Wife?The bible explains in great detail how a man is to love his wife. His wife should be of prime importance to him, over his career, his children, his hobbies, his friends, and himself. A Christ led man will put his wife first over himself. This is how a husband is to love his wife. ”So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” (Ephesians 5:28)What kind of a husband would have a hard time loving his wife in the way Christ instructs him to? A husband who needs inner healing, has not acknowledged Jesus Christ, and is not filled with the Spirit of Christ. Jesus says that a man who loves himself will love his wife. What kind of a man loveth himself? A man who loves himself has subjected himself to Christ, and acknowledged Jesus Christ as his Savior. He is a man that is filled with the Spirit of Christ. This kind of man has made his wife the queen in his home because he is overflowing with Christ’s love and blessings. When a man loves his wife, in the ways taught by Christ she will not have a problem submitting to his headship position. Do you see how that works? The bible instructs wives to be subject to their husbands as the church (true worshipers) is subject to Jesus Christ. God knows who the true worshipers are. God knows our hearts and minds better than we do. (John 4:23-24)How Is A Wife Instructed To Submit? ”Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands, in everything.” (Ephesians 5:24)This verse can stir up confusion. There are many churches that are not subject to Jesus Christ, even Christian churches. So what is “the church”? The church is not a church building. God’s true worshipers are “the church”. They are those who worship in Spirit and in truth. (John 4:23-24)The church is within you. The church is in your heart and in your mind. Every day you take the church with you, wherever you go, so make sure you are being a good example for Christ. You’re working for Christ in your marriage, at your job, with your friends, and in your lifestyle. Are you being a good example?If we profess to be Christ Ones than we are subject to Jesus Christ and His instruction. Christian husbands who want to have a blessed marriage are subject unto Christ first and foremost! There is no other way! If a husband subjects his own life to Christ then he will love his wife properly, in the ways taught by Christ, and the wife will submit (love) to her husband. It works both ways!God’s design, purpose, and husband and wife roles for marriage won’t work if the Christian husband is not participating. The wife will feel like a doormat, just like what is often referred to as what submission is today in society. NOT! Submission is not being a doormat. Submission is loving God with all of your heart, mind, and soul. In return Christ blesses you with the freedom to love your spouse properly. A Christian man who puts God first loves himself and loves his wife. And a Christian woman who puts God first will love herself and will be free to submit to her husband. If you are not loving your spouse in the proper ways now, maybe you ought to review your faith and ask Christ to help you with freeing the demons within you and healing your soul.”Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it.” (Ephesians 5:25) Bottom line is Jesus suffered and died for our sins and that is the way Christ wants a husband to love his wife.”Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)
The vast majority of people who get married really don’t know what to expect once they are married. Most couples believe that their marriage will be just fine. With total confidence they set out to have the most joyous marriage ever imagined. Then, slowly at first, the marriage relationship erodes. Sooner or later most (yes, most) couples realize they are not happy. They wonder what happened. When they try to analyze what went wrong they usually point out some external occurrences like financial pressures or an “ex” popping on the scene. Very few think that what is happening was actually predictable. In fact, most good people believe they or their spouse have changed so they just don’t get along as they used to. Most people blame the lack of joy on anything and everything other than what the real problem is. They do not realize that the trend of their marriage is going from bad towards worse. They do not know that their marriage can go from bad back to good and then to excellent. They do not take personal responsibility for the downward trend.Getting a marriage on track means knowing what the track is supposed to beMarriage is supposed to get better from the first day to the last. Did you know that? There are some married couples that will attest to this. In order for a marriage to steadily improve there needs to be an understanding of what marriage is and how to make it work. Unfortunately our world doesn’t actually support the thinking that creating a family (no matter how small or large) is a scientific endeavor. Most of us think just being married will automatically create the happiness we seek. It won’t. If you think about those behaviors that help or undermine a marriage you will see, using your own common sense that marriage is like anything else. You do have control. You require knowledge of how marriage works and then make the correct efforts to improve it. It is also common sense that if you do the opposite of what works your marital relationship will actually go backwards.The right track for a happy marriage looks something like these 4 essentials to marital happiness1. Always being complimentary to and of your spouse2. Never be critical of your spouse3. Always express your love and support in meaningful ways4. Treat your spouse as the most important person in the worldCan you say you adhere to the above list? Would you say you have taken responsibility to make sure you employ these underlying principles? In most cases individuals expect their spouse to do what is right but never make themselves accountable. Isn’t that backwards? You cannot hold anybody but yourself accountable for behavior because you can only control one person in the whole world and that is you.
I continue to be amazed at how insane our “women’s-lib-conditioned” world grows. Even more insane is that certain MEN have so bought into that agenda that they have become better “women’s-libbers” than the women ever were.Take this true story for instance (the names have been changed for privacy)…Bob and Sue were married for 4 years before they had children. During that time, they had a pretty good marriage. Sure they had their bumps in the road just like everyone does but overall, things worked pretty good and the needs on both sides were met at a satisfactory level.And in particular, they usually had sex at least a couple of times a week – sometimes it was more like 3 – 4 times and sometimes it was only once a week – but overall, it was a frequency level that Bob was happy with.But then, Sue gets pregnant and 9 months later, out pops little Bobby.Little Bobby no more arrived on the scene but what Bob and Sue’s marriage took a major turn for the worse…From Sue’s perspective, everything was mostly fine…new baby…Bob’s job paid well enough that she didn’t have to worry about money…the house was nice…the cars were all good…extended family was all good…everyone was healthy…and she was satisfied.Well…at least on most levels she was. She definitely was not satisfied with the division, distance, and negative energy that was growing increasingly strong in their marriage.A year and a half later, Sue finds out that Bob has been cheating on her for over 6 months. Of course, she’s devastated and angry but they go to marriage counseling and the counselor helps Bob with his “anger management” problem and his “expressing emotion” problem and soon enough, they got everything patched up and they were back to running down the marriage-track again.But, they no more get back to running when Sue comes up pregnant again – and 9 months later out pops little Suzie.As you probably expected, the same exact situation plays out again…a year and half later, Sue finds out that Bob’s been cheating on her again…for over 8 months this time.So, they jump in the ol’ station wagon, head off to another marriage counselor’s office…and this second counselor was a little “sharper” than the first one…he discovered that with the birth of each baby, Sue lost all interest in having sex.For months on end, 100% of her interest was in the baby and 0% of her interest was in Bob.Except that wasn’t the “problem”…And here’s what I’ve been leading up to that so amazes me…According to this particular marriage counselor, the problem was NOT that Sue had lost all interest in having sex with Bob and was refusing to have sex with him month after month.The problem was…and get this…Bob was a SEX-ADDICT!According to this counselor, the fact that he wanted sex at least once a week made him a “sex-addict”.So, Bob accepts the counselor’s verdict – who was after all, the “expert” – and they go through a tidy little program to “help Bob overcome his sexual addiction”.Then, with his “sexual addiction” supposedly out of the way Bob and Sue head back to the house to live happily and “sexlessly” ever after…Is that just NUTS or what?Well, to me, it’s more than just nuts, it’s unacceptable.I DO NOT accept the idea that a woman can go on a sexual vacation for months or years on end and that’s completely “ok” because she’s “bonding” or “finding herself” or whatever it is that clinicians decide it is that she’s doing.Why should it be acceptable for a woman to stop being a wife in a marriage?I mean, it’s not acceptable to the normal woman for her husband to go on a financial vacation and stop providing for the family, is it?We know it’s not…in fact, it’s not even acceptable to a woman who’s not even your wife now…you let one of those men who has an “EX” miss even a single support payment and he’ll have EVERY branch of government coming down on him like a ton of bricks.Now, I for one DO NOT excuse myself from my financial obligations and NEITHER do I excuse a woman from being a lover to her husband.I know…that makes me bad…I guess I’m a bona-fide sex-addict too because not even once-a-week sex is acceptable to me. And, it shouldn’t be acceptable to you either.Especially when you realize that there are skills a man can learn that CAUSES his woman to WANT frequent sex with him.The issue with Sue in the story above was NOT that she was non-sexual or needing “bonding” time with the baby. The issue was that she needed Bob to learn how to lead both her and him into the relationship that worked for both of them.Here’s the deal… When people first get married, they’re excited, interested, and curious…and those emotions naturally drive them to do the right things. But, as the cares and concerns of life begin to kick in with full force AND the excitement, interest, and curiousness begin to wear off…THEN, things no longer work “naturally”.It’s at this point that a man better get to learning how to lead both he and his wife into a happy and sexual marriage relationship. If he doesn’t, both he and she ARE going to suffer increasingly severe dissatisfaction and unhappiness – until one or the other gives up and leaves OR he learns the right “skills”.Myself, I decided to learn the right “skills” and my wife and I have enjoyed a lot of happiness AND a lot of sex ever since.And, I’ve been teaching men from all over the world how to get the same in their marriage.I guess you could say I’ve become a “men’s-libber”.I’m “liberating” men so that they can have the happy, sexual marriage they desire.Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro and a link to MoreSexForMen.com is included with it:
Your marriage is in crisis, and you’ve done everything you can think of to save it. You last option would be a separation, but will it help?There are two types of marital separations – legal or informal. When you are thinking of an informal separation, you will both agree that time away from each other is best, and from there you will try to work things out. When you think of having a legal separation, it is final. It requires lawyers, just like a divorce.Separation should be your absolute last option when trying to save your marriage. This is a last resort – only after you have tried everything else should you even think of a separation. Marital help comes in many forms. Just to mention a few: marital counseling (which can get expensive), friends and family, and ebooks written by professionals that help couples solve their differences at home.A marital separation might help your marriage. It will allow the both of you to know what it feels like to be apart from each other. This in itself brings many couples back together. With a separation, you ARE still married – you can always go back to each other, without involving lawyers or courts.During a separation, you will have time apart to think about your situation. Living together, you can’t find time alone, and every time you see each other you could start fighting, just because the tension is unbearable.This time alone will make you both look at the situation with a lot of thought. Thought that won’t be hindered by stress. You will both be able to clearly think. Even if only one of you wants to try, saving your marriage IS possible!Remind each other the reasons you got married to begin with. Also, remind each other that divorce is final. Separation is not. Make this your opportunity to make things right, once and for all.
How to Stop a Divorce From Happening – What You Must Do Right Now If You Want to Save Your Marriage!
Do you think your marriage is in serious trouble – a severe crisis that it might never come out of? But you don’t want to simply accept this – and want to stop a divorce from happening? Then the first thing I have to say is that I have been in your shoes and want to congratulate you for striving to save your marriage. I stopped a divorce from happening and I am confident that every marriage can be saved. I know that you think you have tried everything and it’s all hopeless, but I bet you haven’t.When you want to stop a divorce, the first thing to do is quit your depressed state of mind. This makes you “desperate” to save your marriage and being desperate makes you act in wrong and dangerous ways. When you are desperate, you feel forced to “do” something which is almost always trying to talk your spouse out of a divorce. This leads you to apologize, beg etc. which are all further damaging to your already strained marriage.Calm down. This is crucial. You can stop a divorce from happening, rest assured – but to be able to achieve that, you have to relax. A severe marriage crisis is a LOT to think about. When you calm down, you will allow your brain some very valuable time with which to process everything that has happened lately.Another VERY crucial point in this is that when you have calmed down, you’ll stop applying pressure on your spouse to stop a divorce. This will give your spouse some time in which they’ll be alone and free from your pressure – and this will give them time to really reconsider things.I never made an inch of progress in stopping a divorce from happening until I quit being desperate and depressed – it’s that important.
Marriage advice for men – There’s a saying that says ‘men are from mars, women are from Venus’. All too often I see marriage advice that talks to men and women the same. It is a proven fact that men and women don’t see things the same way. If your marriage is a little shaky right now, here are some tips that will help you to show your wife that you really do still love her, and that you want to save your marriage.I believe that society wrongs men right from the start. As a boy, you were probably taught that you weren’t supposed to cry, that you weren’t supposed to show emotions. These are signs of weakness. The worst saying I think I’ve ever heard is ‘man up, and get over it’. This is especially true for young boys who get hurt – either physically or emotionally. This is NOT a sign of weakness! When, as a man, you are able to show your true feelings, you are saying that you are strong and confident.The best marriage advice for men that I can give is to tell you that, in order to save your marriage, you HAVE to try your very best to show your emotions! I imagine it will be hard, but I really do hope that you will find a way to do that in this article.Words mean one thing to women, but actions dig deeper. Instead of saying ‘I love you’ to your wife, do something nice for her. Something as simple as tidying up a little around the house shows her that you know she works hard for the family. It shows her that you appreciate her and what she does. As a wife myself, I dealt with this many times. At some points, I often wondered why I was here in the first place. I thought I was just here so he didn’t have to do anything except go to work. I was here to keep the house, raise the kids, etc. He never understood how I felt. I’ll give you a true example. On father’s day of this year, I spent all weekend cleaning, doing laundry, shopping for gifts for him, etc. On father’s day, I stood in the kitchen for hours, making him his favorite dinner. I got the kids together, and we sat down for what was supposed to be a family dinner. WELL…. my husband was playing video games, and he’d run to the table once in a while and shovel a bite into his mouth, then go back to his game. I was devastated! He just couldn’t understand why I was so upset. He told me, I ate it, didn’t I? It was good, thank you. Those words meant absolutely nothing no me! Later, after I got myself in control again, I told him – ‘how would YOU feel if this were turned around? How would YOU feel if YOU were the one working your butt off to make ME happy, and I sat there and played a game?’ The look on his face told me exactly what I needed to know – he never had a clue as to why I was so upset. He honestly didn’t know. He said to me ‘ I’m sorry, I never thought of it that way.’From that point on, I knew that it’s not that my husband didn’t love me, it was that he was raised different than me. Society makes women wear their heart on their sleeve, and makes men keep everything bottled up. It’s not anyone’s fault, but you are going to HAVE to try and do things a little differently.Take a lesson from someone who knows. Words do mean something, but there comes a time when words are just words. When you take action, and SHOW your wife that you DO appreciate her, and that you DO love her and want her in your life, you will see a difference in your marriage. The tension will disappear, and the two of you will develop a bond that you’ve probably never had before.Take the chance – don’t live like society wants you to, live like your WIFE wants you to. Like she NEEDS you to. Your marriage will thank you for it!The more you do these little things, you will see your marriage improving. Your wife will be happier, because she realizes that you DO still love her, and you will be happier, because your marriage will become stronger.
Challenging and tricky may not be what we want to hear, but those 2 words are what best describes a marriage. Married life can be tricky and at times it can be very challenging, but at the end of the day it is one of the most fulfilling aspects in life. In order to get the most out of your marriage, you have to keep working to improve the relationship between you and your spouse.It is impossible to improve your relationship with anyone if you don’t interact with them, but you would be surprised if you knew how many couples lack this knowledge. Living in the same house with someone is not enough; you have to actually talk to each other about something meaningful.Talk to them about your day, tell them a funny joke you heard, or take them out somewhere with you. Do anything to spend time and communicate with them. Just don’t fall into a routine with your spouse, because a routine will keep your marriage from improving and reaching it’s full potential.Here are 3 things you can do to improve your relationship whether you’re in a good or bad marriage.1. Plan A Date NightAt least once a week plan a night where you and your spouse get dressed up and go out. Slow dance with each other, take a long stroll under the moonlight, do things your spouse will find romantic, and enjoy yourselves.2. Laugh It may seem simple, but when was the last time you and your spouse had a good laugh together? If you can’t remember the last time then it’s time to enjoy this basic pleasure again. Laughing is a positive trait to implement in your relationship and anything positive will improve your marriage.
Are you looking for a way to repair your broken marriage? You are probably like thousands of other couples out there in troubled marriages. You do not want to divorce but you are confused as to what to do to recover your relationship. In this article we are going to talk about something that you don’t know that can save your marriage – no matter how bad things are right now!Is human biology is the KEY to repairing my broken marriage? Funny you should ask. Did you know that we all possess some very basic (even instinctual) traits that can work in our favor to repair broken marriages. Most of us just don’t know it. I can show how you can take advantage of these traits and use them as a technique to reconnect with your spouse. This information is scientifically based and it will work for you no matter how bad things are!Okay… so how can human biology heal my broken marriage? Let’s learn a little bit about the science of love. Here’s the condensed version. Have you ever been instantly attracted to one person and not another? Do you know why? When we experience an initial attraction to someone, our brains conspire with our five senses. We unknowingly put the other person through a series of tests to determine if that person would be a good potential match. What does this have to do with repairing your marriage? You and your spouse have long ago determined that physically you are a good match for one another. You have chemistry! If not, there would have been no “spark” and you each would have moved on to other conquests. This is your first advantage.Wow! That’s interesting, but the spark has been extinguished long ago and now we don’t even LIKE each other. No need to fret, my friend. Biology to the rescue! Here is your second advantage. Even when a couple falls OUT of love, the brain remembers that unique chemical chain-of-events and can be nudged back into love. Especially, once a couple has been in love AND experienced a long-term relationship or marriage. Given those two conditions, the brain can be prompted into falling in love again! No matter how bad things are! There are techniques that you can use to make your partner fall in love with you. Again!
Marriage is a lifetime vow, everybody knows this. But why are there still so many who resort to separation and divorce? Is there a magic pill to having a long and lasting marriage? Or is it just mere luck that some people manage to hold on for so long.The truth is that marriage is hard work, it’s no walk in the park and there is no magic pill to make it work. You have a daily decision to make – whether you are going to make your marriage work today or not. So read on a little to get helpful tips on the areas that you should give importance to most in your marriage.Communication. Communication is more than just talking. It’s also those glimpses across the room, the winks. Simply put, communication makes your relationship grow – taking both of you to a more intimate level. And apart from that, it’s important that you should always say what’s on your mind, even those little silly things. Don’t expect your partner to know what you’re thinking, they can’t read minds, so speak up!Trust. Trust is the most precious thing that should be guarded in a marriage. It is considered the foundation for a lifetime commitment. Although a little jealousy here and there can add spice in your married life, keep in mind that being suspicious of almost every woman your husband talks to will take a toll in your relationship.Be open-minded. Arguing is normal between a husband and wife. Bear in mind that you are two individuals with different points of view. The secret is to keep your disagreements “civilized”? Be open-minded. Respect each other’s views and you may just come up with a better idea with the two of your ideas combined!Learn to forgive. Everyone makes mistakes, nobody’s perfect. Your partner may have broken your trust once but the most important question is: where do you go from there? Will you throw it all away for a single mistake? Or will both of you pick up the broken pieces and start afresh? If your relationship is worth fighting for, then make forgiveness a part of your vocabulary.Making a marriage last does not need grand gestures but it simply requires you to place importance on the little things such as listening and saying “sorry” when needed. If done right, you are on your way to a long and happy married life!