Think back to when your relationship with your spouse first developed into being physically intimate. I bet you look back on it with fondness, and the mere thought of it probably brings a smile to your face. Compare that to now – you are living in a marriage that doesn’t consist of the level of physical intimacy you desire. Over time, this can be incredibly frustrating. It may have caused arguments between you. It may have helped to build up a level of resentment that is threatening to put a premature end to the marriage.Different people deal with lack of physical intimacy in different ways. Some people just accept it and go through their days, weeks, months and even years frustrated. Some people constantly bring up the issue with their partner, and the manner in which they do this just moves the situation even further backwards. Some people go outside of the marriage to get their needs and desires satisfied. Have I described you yet? I’m sure I’ve at least come pretty close.I’m here to tell you that there are many people in exactly the same situation as you are now. They feel like a once valuable part of their marriage has now been stripped away, and it’s completely down to the other person. They wonder if this wonderful aspect of marriage will ever be present for them again. They wonder if their partner just isn’t interested in them any more. You can choose to be like them and constantly mull these things over, making yourself even more frustrated, resentful and depressed, or you can take some positive action today.
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More marriages die from neglect than anything else. Often, it is simply a matter of life getting in the way. Strangely, something as important as marriage gets ignored. More than that, many relationships shift from suffering with neglect to a growing animosity and antipathy. The innocent beginning of a crisis (neglect, lack of understanding, etc.) can quickly spin into a crisis that puts the entire marriage at risk. Of course, no problem that can ultimately lead to a divorce occurs over night, chances are that many factors which were left unattended to have accumulated to the present state or your marriage. Prior to that stage at which the couple seek for a divorce, there must have been numerous signs that pointed towards the dissolution of the marriage. However, no matter how bad a state your marriage is in now, divorce should not be an option because you can always take steps that can save your marriage and most times make your marriage better that it was before. I will list some signs below that shows that your marriage is about to hit the rocks.1. Do you and your spouse constantly battle over small issues which rather than been resolved lead to bigger issues?2. Has threats and yelling become an everyday occurrence in your marriage?3. Do both of you desperately want to be accepted and loved, but neither feels like doing it? The more either of you tries, the further apart it appears you move. 4. Do you fill a lot better in the absence of you spouse?5. Do you and your spouse leave like roommates rather than marital partners?6. Is your union experiencing perpetual name calling and tearing down of each other?7. Has your once open marriage now become shrouded in secrecy?8. Does your spouse now find fault in any thing you do or say?9. Has the level of communication in your marriage dwindled?10. Is your spouse now exhibiting violent tendencies?The above questions/signs and many more are very clear markers that your marriage is on the verge of dissolution. When you notice one or more of the signs above in your marriage, it is an indication that something is about to go wrong therefore it would be appropriate to start making efforts to save your marriage. In trying to save your marriage you have to be open to certain adjustments which at the end of the day would help you to accomplish your “save my marriage” desires.
No one said that marriage was going to be easy, and it isn’t. However, we somehow seem to think that it will be for us when we first get married. We can beat those odds of 1 out of every 2 marriages ending in divorce because we are in love, and we will live, “happily ever after.” Then we get married.After being married for awhile we realize that we really don’t know what we’re doing. The only models of marriage we had were our parents and those of our friends. Some of those marriages may have been happy, some were not, so we’re left with having to figure out what works and what doesn’t. If you’re reading this to begin to answer the question, “How do I save my marriage,” then you know that most of the time we end up figuring out what DOESN’T work but still have no idea of what does work.So, I have 3 ways that WILL work to help you transform your marriage and will help you get your marriage back to that “happily ever after” situation you wanted in the first place.1.) The first is to realize that arguments are based on hurt and resentment.You need to realize that most of your arguments are coming from hurt and misunderstandings and those areas of hurt are what really need to be addressed to make some major changes in your marriage.So, for example, if you’re arguing about your love life being in a slump. One person says, “We never make love anymore.” Making love is not really the main issue. The main issue is that one spouse is hurt because they don’t feel attractive or loved anymore. So if you focus on making your partner feel more attractive and loved, you will probably find that this argument goes away pretty quickly.First of all the word “never” is never true. So to say, “We NEVER make love anymore,” probably isn’t true. They are really saying, “We don’t make love as much as we used to, and that’s making me feel unattractive or unloved.”If you can focus on making your partner feel more loved in other ways this argument will most likely go away. Remember, the real issue is that your partner is hurt because they feel like you don’t love them or they don’t turn you on anymore.If you understand that the disagreements in your marriage are coming from hurt and resentment, then you can focus on healing those hurts and fixing the real problems that plague your marriage.2.)The second key in answering the question, “How do I save my marriage,” is to not be who you think your spouse wants you to be. What? I can transform my marriage by not being the person my spouse wants me to be? No, what I’m saying is to not try to be the person you THINK your spouse wants you to be. So many times when a marriage is in trouble, one spouse tries to save it by doing all the things they think their spouse wants them to do Then sadly, they are shocked when they’ve made all these changes, and their spouse still hands them divorce papers.Now I’m not saying to not make some changes to who you are, but you need to make them for the right reason. You need to become more loving, caring, understanding, etc., because you want to be a better person, not to try to save your marriage. If your partner has complained to you over the years that you are thoughtless and insensitive because you do such and such, you should try to change those things about yourself in order to make yourself the best person you can be.If you only try to change because you hope it will save your marriage, your spouse will feel that and resent it because they will feel like they are being played. You need to make some changes that YOU don’t like about yourself to become a better person, with no other ulterior motive. Surprisingly, this is going to make you very attractive to your spouse. The transformation this can make is incredible.3.)The third key in saving your marriage is to love your partner in a way that “feels” like love to them. This is critical to answering the question, “How do I save my marriage?” Gary Chapman wrote a fantastic book in this area called, The Five Love Languages. In it he talks about how there are 5 different ways that people express and receive love.1. Affirming Words- this is basically saying sweet and loving things to your partner.2. Quality Time- this is loving your partner by spending time together.3. Gifts- this one’s kind of obvious, it’s loving someone by giving or receiving gifts.4. Acts Of Service- this is loving someone by doing nice things for them, like laundry, cooking meals, cleaning the house, etc.5. Touch- simply hugging, kissing, holding each other, making love, etc.Without going into depth on what’s covered in this book, the main point made in this book is that oftentimes, we are married to someone who speaks a different “love language” than we do. So, if you mainly see that loving your spouse is done by giving them gifts(Gift Giving), they may see love expressed by spending time together(Quality Time).So you bring home flowers and candy as a way of saying, “I love you,” but it doesn’t really seem to change anything in your relationship. That’s because you are actually speaking different languages when it comes to love. If you try to learn which of the five love languages your spouse “speaks,” start learning to “speak” that love language. Transformation is almost inevitable.
A marriage is the pinnacle and embodiment of the love between two people as they will spend their time together and be in constant contact with one another. Whilst this is intended to be a reflection of the love and trust between them, for many people this constant exposure to one another can be stressful and as the old adage goes: “familiarity breeds content.” Stress and traumatic events can poison the relationship between spouses, turning love and affection into bickering hostility and it is imperative that the spouses act in order to prevent the damage from escalating into something permanent and irreversible.If you want to save a failing marriage then the first crucial step is to initiate communication between the spouses in an emotionally neutral manner, free of blame or anger. The spouses should be able to feel secure and comfortable enough to express their true feelings without any need to conceal or dilute them, because if they mask their emotions then the underlying issues cannot be resolved. This is a process that must be handled with a great deal of caution because if it is not then the there is a very good chance that there will be more harm than good caused and the issues identified during these dialogue sessions may end up alienating the parties even further.Once the problems have been identified then the spouses should work towards trying to resolve them in so far as is reasonable and achievable. This may include a more equal division of labour, spending more time together, an opportunity for the spouses to be more intimate among others. That said, whatever end goals are identified should always be with the mutual consent of both spouses, if objectives and goals are forced upon a spouse then this will only create resentment.More often than not, a spouse just feels unappreciated and undervalued. When trying to juggle career pressures along with a young family, this means that there can be very little time left over to spend with our nearest and dearest and so if you want to save a failing marriage then you may want to give some thought to spending more time with your spouse. Show them that you care, and that you are thinking about them whether this is by a romantic dinner, buying them flowers or giving them sort of treat.
Let’s Save Your Marriage! – I Got My Spouse Back to Me, and You Can Too Stop Your Divorce With This!
I know of the horrible feeling of seeing your marriage head towards the end with each passing day. This is true even if you actually want to divorce. But what if you want to save your marriage? Then you feel totally ruined and desperate.I said I know of the feeling, because I have felt it. I have gone through all this, unfortunately. It felt so bad, and made me so desperate to see that my husband wasn’t showing any interest in me any more. I had no idea on what I should do to save my marriage – how do you save your marriage when you obviously can’t force someone to love you again?Fast forward to today.We have just returned from a vacation with my husband, we had a great ten days which were even better than our honeymoon – yes, I have saved my marriage and yes, that’s an understatement.How did I do that? By using simple methods. They were so powerful, and have stopped so certain a divorce that, now I’m totally sure that those methods can save any marriage.The methods rely on one simple behavioral pattern – that people always want what they can’t have. It is build upon that principle. If you make yourself less accessible to somebody, that person is going to want you more.Currently this principle works against you as your spouse knows that you don’t want a divorce – so you’re easy to have for your spouse at the moment. This works against you, but by utilizing the “being the unreachable and inaccessible” method not only cancels the disadvantage, but even works FOR your advantage.If you want to save your marriage, you have to play for this principle!
When couples tie the knot, they are normally unprepared for the responsibilities that come with marriage. Many failed to realize that marriage requires hard work to cope with the demands that come with it. If you have not prepared yourselves for the hard work ahead, then your marriage will face a tough time. Making marriage work means knowing what is expected from you as a spouse.In addition, ensure that you have realistic expectations from the marriage. Couples must have discussed and come up with some ideas to answer or address the following questions or situations.o What is your view about money and who will be in charge of the finances?o How do you plan to raise your children?o Will both partners go out to work or one has to stay at home?o How do you want to live together?o What kind of life do you expect from the marriage?Apart from the above, you also have to deal with building a good relationship with your in-laws. Therefore, do not happily enter into a marriage expecting it to be an enjoyable endless date. You will have your expectations from your partner and vice-versa. Both partners must be clear about each other’s expectations. For example, is the wife expected to give up her career once the kids arrive? Learn what sort of husband or wife you want to be and discuss it with your partner.Hence to make a marriage work, do not have unrealistic expectations. A normal marriage means having problems to deal with as a couple. A couple who has made some preparations or have anticipated some of the problems can make their marriage work successfully compared to those that have not.
Living in a sexless marriage is probably the loneliest feeling in the world. You feel as if you can’t confide in anyone, as if you have a deep dark secret that you must protect at all costs. However, this is not the reality of today’s society. Sexless marriages are far from rare. In fact, a recent survery showed that about 15% of married couples in the USA live in what is defined as a sexless marriage: having sexual intercourse 10 times a year or less.There is a problem with this definition: if a couple has sex once a month, which comes to 12 times a year, they’re not living in what is defined as a sexless marriage. But having sex once a month is what most people would consider as a very low sexual frequency.So, if we disregard the formal definition of a sexless marriage we discover that there are far more couples leading a passion starved life than what any of us would like to admit. It’s a phenomenon which can happen to any of us if we don’t take very good care of our marriage.If you currently live in a sex deprived marriage, you’re not alone and have nothing to be ashamed of. It can happen to us all. We get so caught up in our hectic routine that we don’t make time for being together with our spouse and nurturing the love that we once shared. The road from that point to sexlessness is short and fast.However, in many cases this is a situation that can be fixed. It is mainly up to you to decide whether this is something you want to do. It will take time and effort on your part and you may face rejection again for a time.However, taking the right steps is the only way to reinvigorate the love that has turned sour and reignite the passion between the two of you.
Is Your Marriage in Trouble? Here’s What You Do to Fix a Troubled Marriage and Live a 2nd Honeymoon!
If you think you have a troubled marriage, then it must be that those troubles are more than just fights. In every marriage there are a lot of fights – after all, when two people with completely different interests, manners, likes and dislikes live under the same roof, there are bound to be a lot of problems. Unfortunately, more often than not those problems lead to a divorce. An overwhelming majority of marriages end in divorce – but do not let that dishearten you. You can fix a troubled marriage, and I am going to show you how.First of all, if you are in a panicked state right now (most people are, when they think their marriage is heading towards a divorce), you need to get out of it as soon as possible. Panic leads you to desperation, and you take desperate measures to prevent a divorce. Those measures are almost always knee-jerk reactions like apologizing, saying things like “I have changed! I promise that will not happen again!” to save your marriage, and stop the divorce from happening. Unfortunately, those desperate measures do nothing to save a marriage and do more harm than good. So you need to come out of your panicked state, straighten yourself out – know that you CAN fix your troubled marriage, but you do need to stop acting desperately to achieve this.Your spouse is fed up with you, or with married life – that’s why he or she might be thinking of a divorce. You should make sure that you do not make your spouse even more fed up with things. Do not act desperate, and do not talk to your spouse a lot. This will both prevent new fights, it will allow an “alone time” for both of you to think about the marriage and the problems, and it will make your spouse somewhat miss you, consciously or subconsciously.
Is your marriage in trouble?If it is, you might not agree with me at the moment, but marriage is a wonderful institution. I can say that as I have been happily married for over 30 years. Sadly, it is not uncommon these days for couples to split at the first sign of trouble rather than to find ways to rekindle love in marriage.It is not easy to make a marriage work, but I am glad to say that by working together, my wife and I have successfully raised and educated three children who are all well adjusted and caring human beings. Our life has now progressed to a new stage with the birth of our first grandchild. Sure, along the journey we have had to face a number of hurdles, just like anyone else, but our love for each other has been the foundation of our success. I can honestly say that my greatest achievement in life has been my marriage. Everything that is good in my life – my children, my home and my family all stem from being happily married. During our tough times, the key for us was to always find ways to rekindle love in marriage.Successful, happy marriages do not happen by accident; so rather than let your marriage become just another divorce statistic, have a look at some of the ways that I have found to help us rekindle love in marriage:-o When you have a squabble, get over it as quickly as possible. Say you are “sorry” rather than let a situation get out of hand.o Try and be a peacemaker in any disagreement. o Appreciate each other for what they bring to the family.o Find ways to complement each other.o Find things to do together – Something as simple as a daily walk can bring you closer to each other.o Be each other’s best friend.o Talk with each other – If something is concerning you, bring it out in the open and discuss the issue.o Find ways to share special moments together – when was the last time you went on a “date” together? This is a great way to celebrate a birthday or anniversary. Plan ahead to give yourselves something special to look forward to. o Do things to please each other and be considerate of each other’s needs.o Look after yourself and don’t be tempted to let yourself go. It is very easy to get into a rut, but it is important to do your best to look good, both in what you wear and physically.o Keep the romance in your marriage – surprise each other with impromptu treats.o Express your feelings for each other and never be backward in telling each other why you love them. o AND – Love each other with all your heart.Divorce, is rife in today’s liberated world. Work on ways to rekindle love in marriage and hopefully, you will end up having a fantastic journey together; a journey full of love, romance and fun, but above all, love.
If you ask the question “how do I save my marriage” to yourself right now, I wish to consider you my friend. I have been in the exact same situation, and know exactly well how bad it feels to be in a marriage that is crumbling. I know you have put a lot of effort, and have sacrificed a lot for this marriage. So did I. But the good news is – I saved my marriage in the end and I wish to pass my experiences upon you.If you want to save your marriage, it is very important that you get into the right state of mind to do so. I know that at the moment you are desperate and want to do something as quickly as possible to save your marriage. I was exactly like that – but that will only make things worse. I learned it the hard way that if you want to stop a divorce from happening and repair your marriage, you have to take things slowly.Why?Because whatever happened to make your spouse want a divorce, in all possibility, didn’t happen overnight. It slowly built up over a long period of time. So, any attempt to quickly fix this will not only fail but will ruin your credibility. For this reason, it’s imperative that you end your “panicking, desperate state” and get into the marriage saving state of mind, which means careful consideration of everything. You lay back, calm yourself down, and look at things at a wider perspective and really understand the reasons of the problems in your marriage, rather than knee-jerk panic reactions to the horrible possibility of a divorce.