I’m sure you have heard the term ‘Honeymoon period’ before. It’s used to describe the initial few months a couple is together, or in some cases, is married. The love and lust the couple are experiencing is usually enough to mask any issues or flaws the relationship might have. Everything is fresh, your sex life is thriving and everything is well with the world. At some point though, reality is going to set it and it can be a shock to the system. By getting married, you have made a big life changing step. You have committed yourself to another person. You live with someone, share your finances, share your future and generally share your life.I consider a married couple to be newlyweds, right up until they have been married one year. This year is absolutely crucial and will have a massive say on whether you are going to stay together for a long time. Some couples don’t ever recover from the adjustment they have to make from the honeymoon period to regular life together. It’s when things aren’t going well that you really discover how much you actually feel for each other, and how determined you are to stay the course.As soon as cracks start appearing in your marriage, it’s a good idea to face up to these issues and take action to deal with them. The earlier the better. Some might say that you don’t truly get to know each other until the honeymoon period is over. When problems present themselves, don’t let them build and threaten the marriage – take action. Imagine if you could ensure that you have a sensational marriage? I’m here to tell you that you can.
Tag Archive for ralph lauren polo dress shirts for men
If you want to save your marriage, I congratulate you. As you know, an overwhelming majority (87%) of all marriages fail. This is because people aren’t courageous and self-sacrificing like you; and when they face a problem in their marriages they simply choose to say “OK, it is not working,” and walk out of it. Marriages are supposed to last until eternity, not until when you decide it’s not going well. So, I congratulate you for not giving in and trying to save your marriage.As with everyone going through difficult times, surely you too are desperate and looking for something that will quickly fix everything and save your marriage – like I did. Unfortunately, this leads us to making mistakes such as trying to talk to our spouses, press them so that they will change their minds. More often than not, such conversations are nothing but you begging to your spouse. This should definitely be avoided – begging is the last thing you want to do in your situation.You should consider the fact that people want what they can’t have. Begging makes you less desirable, in that aspect. Moreover, it makes you look pathetic, and gives away your credibility.What you need to do in order to save your marriage, is to stop begging and stop trying to talk your spouse out of the divorce altogether. This will allow both of you very precious time to think things over – in his case, “really” considering things a second time, in your case, “really” looking at the problems in your marriage and finding out ways on how to get rid of them.This will also allow you to calm down, shed the desperation out; and look at things from a wider perspective, instead of acting out of knee-jerk reactions to quickly fix a desperate situation.
Separation is a time where couple can go into their own space to think about the problems in the relationship. However, some couples think it is just a time to wait for the divorce process to end. If you choose marriage separation as a time for you to reconcile with your spouse, here are the steps to marriage separation reconciliation.- Work out on an agreementThere will be many issues to agree on during the separation period, issues such as finance, children or household can cause conflicts if it is not arrange properly. It is best to work on an agreement to avoid further conflict during the separation period.- Have a balance in everythingOne of the steps to marriage separation reconciliation is to keep a balance in everything. Keep your communication clear and open. Take this separation period as a time to sort out your feelings and problems. Try to find out a balance to work out on your marriage problems and also time to make yourself more positive and stronger.- Marriage counsellingGoing through problems in a marriage is not easy and sometimes you need someone to talk to. Share your problems with friends, family members, individual counselling, marriage books to work together on your relationship issues.- Reflect and make changesIf you want to reconcile after this separation, you have to reflect and make better changes. You should see what you can do to make the marriage better and make sure you are always placing positive changes into the marriage during the separation period.After the agreed upon time to marriage separation, both of you have to make decision to the marriage. If either party is not willing to reconcile, you should always be respectful on the decision. Anger or forcing the other party will only turn the situation ugly.The steps to Marriage Separation Reconciliation is to consider the effort and using the right methods to repair the marriage.
The why of a marriage seminar is, quite simple, you would not need to go on a marriage seminar break or weekend if you were not having problems in your marriage. Lets face it, at the moment, with the recession and all the stresses and strains of our day to day life, marital problems are quite common but you may be feeling totally isolated and alone if you are without family and very close friends. This is another reason for going on a marriage seminar, you will start to realize you are not the only ones who are suffering these particular problems, you may even end the weekend wondering why you went because you do not have half the troubles other people have.One of the main tools that you can learn is communication, you may think that while you are shouting and screaming at each other, you are still communicating, but if you can actually take a time out during your arguments you will realize, a lot of the shouting is simply personal insults, and nobody is listening to anybody else, they are too busy trying to think up the next clever insult.At a marriage seminar you will be taught how to effectively communicate your needs and wants and how to listen effectively as well. If we feel we are being listened to, we start to feel we are being respected by our spouse and treated with value, as our self esteem rises we will find our value and respect for our other half rises as well. After all why did we marry them in the first place, we usually marry our spouse because we have fallen in love with them and cannot imagine living our life without them. Through being able to communicate effectively with each other we can, very often find that love again.Often at marriage seminars you will find that they do have marriage counselors who can help you work through any serious problems you may have. Even infidelity can be caused by a lack of communication, if your spouse feels that at home no one cares about his feelings, but at work some one listens to them, looks into their eyes when they talk, makes them feel that what they say matters and are a little more important than the latest episode of who knows what on the television, then their head is going to be turned more than just a little. A marriage counselor can help us see this and work through any little problems that may get in the way of your marital happiness.There are all kinds of different marriage seminar weekends, Christian and church run marriage seminars, spiritual marriage seminars and even seminars that are run by the authors of marital self help books. It must be said that a marriage seminar weekend is a lot more than just a weekend away. It is a weekend break for you and your spouse, so that you are able to concentrate on each other, your needs and wants and your marriage. If you really do want to save your marriage, you will be able to leave the seminar with renewed strength and enough good tools to be able to carry on the good work started on your wonderful marriage seminar weekend.
If your relationship needs counseling, take your family with you. They had a lot to do with your coupling choices in marriage and relationships.Without you realizing it, your family helped to pick the person you came to love. In many ways, our family picks our mates as surely as if they were prearranged for us. Not through conscious parental effort, perhaps, but the dynamics of our family of origin strongly influences the “love” choices we make and ultimately the partners we couple with. The major patterns in family which influence couple matching are these:Sibling position and configuration. These affect sex and rank conflicts or compatibility. If you grew up without a sibling of the opposite sex you may not really understand how to cohabitate with the opposite gender. Your rank in the sibling order is also critical. For example two first borns each want to run the show. This match often leads to power struggles in the couple. Functional positions and the reciprocal fits. For couples to “fit” with each other they each have to play roles in the relationship that work with each other. If one person is more likely to be a planner, the other person may like to have things planned out for them. That could be a good “fit”. Likewise, leaders need followers, caretakers fit with needy, nurturers mesh with some one who needs nurturing and so on. On the other hand two caretakers could have a long term incompatibility. Two pleasers may get paralyzed for life because neither will take a risk and make a decision that could displease the other.Family loyalties. We are creatures of pattern and habit. If you grew up eating with a knife and fork, chances are you will not marry someone who only eats with their fingers. Other family patterns which are buried deep in our unconscious minds such as ethnic matters, socio-economic status, religious beliefs, levels quality of life and chronic anxiety stay with us and influence what we think is good and “normal”. It’s as if we act out this loyalties as we “choose” partners. Mates fit our family patterns.Emotional familiarity. We date people we feel comfortable with. Through dating, courtship, engagement and ultimately marriage, we keep checking our feelings to see if this person continues to feel okay or comfortable enough to live with. We forget that the biggest component to “comfort” is “familiarity”. In effect, we choose a mate who is a pretty good bet we will continue to experience the emotional sense of ourselves that we grew up with and came to call familiar. That has nothing to do with our conscious awareness of what may or may not be good for us.
In every culture and walk of life, it’s widely recognized and acknowledged that communication is one of the key factors in making marriage work. Just how important is it? Can improving this area even help to save a troubled marriage? Let’s investigate.Imagine for a moment you are having a conversation on the telephone. You hear someone through the receiver and talk through the mouthpiece. It is give and take on both sides of the lines and we rarely talk over each other and we have always listen carefully to what the other person is saying. The kind of give and take communication we have over the telephone should resemble the kind of conversations we have with our spouse in person.Communication is the most important relationship skill one can have, particularly when it comes to marriage. So why is it we let ourselves get into such bad habits when it comes to communicating with one another? Why do we listen halfheartedly and give one word answers that leaves the other feeling we are not interested in what they have to say?What can we do about this? How do we learn to communicate more effectively in our marriage? We don’t really need to learn any new skills. We just need to make a conscious effort to listen to what the other is saying, and concentrate on how we speak to one another. This is easier said than done in today’s busy world, but it needs to be done in order for your marriage to thrive. Set aside a time each day, after you put the kids to bed is usually the perfect time. If you don’t have any children set aside a time were you are both relaxed either in the morning before work or in the evening at meal time is a great place to start. It doesn’t have to be a long period of time just 10-20 minutes a day. Set a timer if you need to. When your partner is speaking try to make them the center of attention. Look at them and make eye contact. Try to put all other thoughts out of your head, don’t think about that sink full of dishes that won’t do themselves or that a TV programme is coming on in 5 minutes. Use body language to show you are listening, give a little nod or a smile. When they have finished, ask a relevant question or give a comment to let them know you have listened and understood what they have said. When you listen to someone wholeheartedly they are likely to show you the same respect in return. Never underestimate just how vital communication is. As I said when I began this article, it’s a vital component of making marriage work.
Do you think you and you life partner are walking towards for a divorce or just simply falling apart? Has it occurred to you that perhaps most of the excitement in your marriage has been lost? You too can rescue your marriage, like many others have, and go back to having a beautiful relationship again. The first step towards a rehabilitating happy marriage is to understand why the marriage has fallen apart.Lack of or little communication mixed with the incapability to settle issues in harmony is noted as the number one reason for marriage failure. It is important to keep open pathways of communication in order to keep you relationship in shape. These traits will usually be found in couples experiencing joyful marriages, whereas couples whose marriages are unstable will often deny the need to improve upon these areas.Couples need to put in the effort to put in time and work to better their marriage to maintain a healthy status, regardless of their current position. Studies show that fresh habits of communicating are proven to be effective, almost 100%, when applied to your marriage, so do not hesitate to attempt them. Taking to heart the various missteps made by both yourself and other couples will greatly improve your ability to solve conflict in a more productive fashion.Your marriage will always be worth any effort it takes to saveg it. You and your spouse need to be willing to do anything in order to save your marriage. Getting a separation is not what you really desire. Fix the problems in your marriage, no matter what you have to do, and get your life back on track.
If more people asked for ways on how to save your marriage, we wouldn’t have this 87% marriage failure rate we have now. It is easy to walk away from a marriage – whoever wants to save a marriage is taking the hard path, and should be commended.The most common thing people do when they want to save a marriage is to try to fix everything at once, by telling their spouses that they fully understand the problems and they won’t happen again. This won’t work, and when it doesn’t work; you are forced to take more dramatic actions such as begging your spouse for forgiveness and a second chance. You absolutely have to avoid this path.Saving a marriage requires the correct mindset. The “I have to fix everything at once” mindset is actually formed by panic and desperation and is, as before told, the wrong way to go. The correct thing to do is to enter the right mindset – I call this the “marriage saving mood”. Without this “mood”, you can’t save your marriage.This mood requires being calm, as opposed to the panic-driven desperation. You have to relax, be calmer. This will allow you to look at everything from a wider angle, and really understand the problems in your marriage, consider their underlying causes; and having a plan to fix those causes and save your marriage.Being calm serves another very important purpose: when you are panicked, you try to do everything at once, and this requires you continuously try to talk and press your spouse on various issues; which will make your spouse even more fed up with you, and will certainly work against you. When you are calm, you will give your spouse precious alone time to reconsider everything.
I assume that, since you are reading this article, you have a troubled marriage and you want to save your marriage. I was in the exact same situation as you, and I know how bad it feels to be in an ending marriage.But I did my best – and saved my marriage. Now my husband loves me even more than he did when we were first married. I can’t explain how overjoyed I am! Could you, if you were able to save yours? The joy is extreme, it’s maybe the best feeling I have ever had.Since I know how horrible you must be feeling now, I feel for you, and I want to call you my friend. I want to help you save your marriage. So let me tell you what changed the fate of my marriage, which I thought was surely ending, and was desperate to repair.I stopped trying to talk to my husband to find a compromise. Why? Well, it is simple. Since my husband wanted to divorce, but I wanted to save my marriage; ”talking” to him essentially meant begging him not to end our marriage. And I did that all the time – before I read an online guide about saving a marriage and saw the right way.You see, when your marriage is ending you can hardly come up with effective ways to stop your divorce. To do that, you need a good understanding of human psychology and ways to put that knowledge into good use. But when you have an ending marriage you can’t do that – because you can’t think! If you want to save your marriage, the best advice I can give you is to stop trying to think of methods by yourself!
How does an ending marriage feel? Bad. How does it feel when you’re the side who wants to save the marriage? Horrible.I know this because I felt that exact thing. It felt bad when my husband stopped paying any attention to me. I used to cry because I felt my marriage ending – and it felt even worse that when I was openly crying he was looking away and not giving anything whether I cried, or burst in laughter.So what do you do when you want to save your marriage? I’ll start by the last thing you should do: You never try to think of a way YOURSELF to get your spouse back to you. You are inside the marriage, you are worn out with sorrow that your marriage is ending, so do you think you can really come up with methods to bring your spouse back to you?Unfortunately I did think of several “methods”. Among them was:
Crying. Especially crying near him so that he saw me and understood how much I wanted to save our marriage and understood how much I cared for him and return to me.
Outright BEGGING. Yes, begging! Which emotion does begging invoke? Pity. So I wanted to save my marriage by having him get back to me out of pity. Pathetic!
The best thing to do in such a situation, as I later experienced, is to ask for outside help. You are reading some outside help at the moment – which is a good sign! That outside source can indeed be the Internet, or some friends on whom you can count on.