In some countries, polygamy is allowed and men can have up to four wives at one time. The question is, should polygamy be practiced, or are men better off with having only one wife?From a scientific perspective, humans are polygamous in nature, just like the lions in the wilds. Just like animals, humans have to ensure the survival of their species. Thus, it is logical for men to practice polygamy to maintain the human population, and also to continue to breed.From an historical point of view though, our forefathers do practice polygamy. However, with the passing of time, humans found that they could breed just as well with the practice of monogamy. Furthermore, with the rise of human activists, women have achieved the same social standing as men, a feat only accomplish in the past few decades.As such, polygamy has been declared illegal in most of the countries in the world. Gone are the days when women only stay at home with their dishes.Though it is illegal to practice polygamy, the very nature of men defies whatever laws which have been enacted to bind their polygamous urge. Men are known to two-time their partners, and this number tends to increase at times. Has our law played its part to uphold the spirit of gender equality, or does it simply turn a blind eye in the wake of raging hormones?This topic is still up for debate, though polygamy may very well never see the daylight again.
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Making your marriage last is a real possibility, but in order to accomplish this, there are some things that you really need to know about making your marriage work for the long haul. Of course there are no guarantees, but following these ten simple rules, can really do a lot to improve your marriage for life.Respect – This is necessary, for some reason after people are married they don’t think they need to be nice to each other. This is not the case, you need to treat your spouse as you would if you were dealing with a stranger. Speaking Kind Words – You should never speak mean words to your spouse, you can have disagreements but it doesn’t have to become nasty. This is also true when you’re speaking to other people about your spouse, it should always be in a positive light. When you voice something it sometimes becomes reality so you must be careful with your words.Working on you: If you’ve let yourself go and don’t give yourself the attention you need you may be shortchanging your relationship. You may need to give yourself more attention and improvement on emotional, spiritual and physical issues as this will be beneficial to your spouse also. Giving in: There are time when there will be arguments and there are times to hold to your position and other times to let it go. If you need to be the winner every time then there’s a problem, this tells your spouse that they are always wrong.AVOID TEMPTATION. Be sure to stay out of situations in which you might be tempted to stray. If you know you are attracted to someone steer clear of them. Do not be around members of the opposite sex alone and if you find you need to, be sure to include your spouse. This will allow you to show your commitment to your marriage. DON’T LIE. Marriage is based on trust and truth, so be sure that you are not even telling little white lies to your spouse, a lie is a lie. They may not want to hear the truth, but you need to stay it or steer clear of doing things that you might have to lie about eventually. It is a partnership and not a parent / child relationship so be sure that you are both acting like grown ups.BE FRIENDS. Don’t be afraid to let your spouse in. Talk about your feelings and be willing to let them know what makes you tick, turns you on and scares the heck out of you. Marriage is based on communication and sharing is a big part of it. LISTEN. Be sure to listen to what your spouse is saying. Hearing them and trying to understand them, will help you and them to grow not only as people but as a married couple.
Anyone going through a rocky time in their marriage at the moment would feel for anyone having difficulty in dealing with a marriage separation. It is a very sad time for anyone having to endure a marriage breakup.A recent study conducted by the Chicago University found that divorce has a huge impact on one’s health EVEN if you remarry. Obviously, the message that comes out of this is that you should do everything in your power to make your marriage work. That’s much easier to say than it is to apply in practice with divorce rates higher than they have ever been; however, it doesn’t mean to say that all is lost just yet.The interesting thing to learn for anyone dealing with a marriage separation is that a separation doesn’t mean the end. In many cases it does, but that doesn’t mean that yours has to end this way. There are many examples of couples who after having been separated get back together again and go on and enjoy long term, happy marriages.What do you have to do to get back in the arms of the one you love and rekindle your lost love? First you have to act in a calm and thoughtful manner. You need to make contact with your ex and try and arrange a face to face meeting. It is so important that you do not pressure your partner under any circumstances. You have to meet and try and work together to resolve your issues. It is important that you listen to each other and avoid playing the “blame” game. Invariably, it takes two to tango and it is unlikely that one party is 100% to blame for the separation in the first place. At your meeting it would be good if you could have a focus for your meeting. It could be something as simple as “what has to change if we are to get back together again as a happy and loving couple.” Having such a focus is helpful if your meeting is getting off the track but it also gives each of you the opportunity to say what’s on your mind and what you are unhappy about.This is a mature and positive way of dealing with marriage separation. If you could resolve your issues and give your marriage another chance you will have done a fantastic job in getting through such a difficult situation. If you reach a stalemate in your discussions, it may be necessary to seek some outside help. Do this because you will be in a much better space if you can avoid going down the path of a divorce.It was love which bought you together in the first place and hopefully, it will be love that takes you to the next stage of your marriage. Life isn’t easy, nor is learning to love someone again after a nasty breakup. It takes a special person to ask for forgiveness but it takes a more special person to forgive. Forgive and forget and get on with loving each other again and you will not have to worry about dealing with marriage separation ever again.
Help My Marriage! You Must Do This One Thing Right at This Moment If You Want to Save Your Marriage!
I know it feels utterly heartbreaking to be in an ending marriage – because I have lived it.I wanted to do something to help my marriage for some time, because I had noticed that my spouse wasn’t paying enough attention to me any longer. Even though I had seen it coming, when my husband made it clear to me that he wanted a divorce, it was still devastating. What could I do to help save my marriage?Desperate to save my marriage, I tried to think of ways that would help my marriage. But I was so devastated by everything that was happening that I wasn’t able to really think much and all I could think of was to apologize for everything and beg my husband. Which are all dangerous things to do that not only won’t do anything as help for marriage; but will hurt it even further. But I couldn’t help it, because I was so desperate and I thought “I have to DO something! I can’t sit and wait!”Yes, it is correct to feel that you have to take action to help save a marriage; but that action must be something CORRECT! But the problem is that, in that desperate state of mind, it’s impossible to think correctly.So this is why I’m telling you that the foremost thing that will help a marriage is that you quit being desperate and calm down.I have stopped a divorce from happening and so can you – but you must first calm down. This will give both of you some very valuable time to process everything, and it will enable you to a wider perspective from which you can see the fundamental problems and ways of fixing it. This is what helped my marriage a lot!
If you’re asking yourself “how do I save my marriage”, I know what you are going through. Seeing the marriage for which you did a lot of self sacrifice crumble down to little pieces is very hard. The thought of losing your spouse forever is very hard. It’s almost unbearable.I have been in the same situation, so I know what you are feeling right now. I feel for you. When my husband made it clear to me that he wanted a divorce, all I could do was to beg him not to. And did it work? No.But let’s fast forward to today now. I have saved my marriage. In fact, that’s probably a huge understatement – we are living our second honeymoon now for a long time, it is such a wonderful feeling!Now looking back, I can see what mistakes I made. And I am very confident that all marriages, regardless of how desperate or hopeless their situations might seem; all marriages can be saved.The biggest mistake you can do to save your marriage is to beg your spouse for forgiveness. Because people want what they can’t get, you should play for this. You have to make yourself inaccessible. You have to show your spouse that you are not easily obtainable. This is the key to saving a marriage.And this is exactly why you shouldn’t beg. By apologizing and begging, you are both ruining your credibility and looking needy to your husband – those both work horribly against you!
Last night I saw the delightful movie, ‘Julie and Julia.’ It was an inspirational film, based on two women who followed their passions and lived out dreams beyond their expectations.But that is not what compelled me to write on this sunny Saturday morning. No. It was Julia Child’s marriage to her husband Paul, that so intrigued me.They had the warmest, most loving, relationship. They really had the ‘secret’ to an intimate marriage. In fact, I was so impressed, I encouraged my 19 year old daughter to see the movie, if for no other reason than to observe the relationship between Julia Child and her husband.So what made their marriage so unique? What did they know that we don’t?They lovingly encouraged each other, privately and publicly, and often with a good dose of humor. They also believed the best of the other, and that set in motion a relationship so sweet, so tender that they were each a far better person for it. And their marriage was one we all dream of.Examples of Encouragement in Julia Child’s Intimate Marriage:1) Julia and husband Paul are having dinner in a restaurant (where they live in Paris) and she’s trying to decide what to do with her days. First she considers learning to make hats. You can see Paul doesn’t think it’s the best idea but rather than put her down, he asks, “What do you really like to do?” She responds, “Eat” and he leans in “And you’re so good at it!” to which she agrees and they both start laughing hysterically.2) They are having a Valentine dinner with friends and Julia is telling about when she and Paul met, she was only a file clerk but “Paul designed all the secret war rooms. Why, he single-handedly won the war.” After Paul heartily agrees, he raises his glass of wine to her, “Julia, you are the butter to my bread and the breath to my life. I love you.”3) After eight years of working on her cookbook, Julia Child receives a final rejection letter from the publisher. Of course she is devastated and Paul snuggles with her and comforts her, “Your book is a masterpiece. It will change the world.” .And of course it does go on to change the world of cooking.What would happen in our relationship, if we chose to encourage our spouse? Believe the best in them? It’s a decision we can make today. Never mind if we don’t feel that they are encouraging us. It has to start somewhere and since we know that the only person we can change is ourselves; the action has to be on our part. We have to make the decision.Go see the movie. or not! But put a little ‘love and encouragement’ into your loved one and see your relationship grow and improve to a new level of intimacy. By the way: Don’t limit encouragement to your spouse. Watch all your relationships grow by encouraging your children, co-workers, friends, parents.
If your marriage is heading for the rocks and you don’t want it to, then the question you’ve got to ask is: “How to save my marriage?” You’ve invested your heart into marriage with your spouse and you don’t want to head for the divorce courts. I know you want to make things work but you just don’t know how. Don’t despair! I’m here to tell you about 3 great strategies that are guaranteed to bring the love of your life back into your arms again:Love Your Spouse All Over AgainBring back the romance into your marriage by loving your spouse once again. Look at them like it was the first time you met. Remember those heady days when just the sight of your spouse made you feel weak in the knees? The memory of these beautiful times is a powerful precursor to answering the perennial question of “How to save my marriage?” Express and confirm your love with the sweet affirming words you once used so frequently. The right words can have a tremendously positive effect on the state of your marriage. Make quality time with your spouse and treat them with the consideration, kindness and respect that you once showed when you were both very much in love with each other. Loving actions draw out the best in people who will reciprocate in similar ways. Touch tenderly once more, like you did before, when every inch of their person was more precious to you than diamonds.Be Caring and Tender – Forget the Past SlightsWhen you’re at the stage that you’re thinking seriously about “How to save my marriage?” you need to take a long, hard look at what you can do to change things. Chuck out the score card you kept of all the wrongs, real or imagined that your spouse did over the years. Start with a fresh slate. Write down all those traits that once made you believe you found a gold mine in your spouse. Dig deep into your heart, unblock it if you must, and find the language that made you feel tender, warm and loving towards your spouse. You’ll be surprised at the myriad qualities that your spouse possesses which you still find attractive. And you’ll find that soft place within you again to make the internal changes that will bring out your warmth and tenderness. You’ll learn another answer to your question: “How to save my marriage?”Be A Bearer Of GiftsDo you recall your pleasure at receiving gifts from your spouse on special occasions? Gift giving is a thoughtful way to say you love and appreciate the special person you are sharing your life and home with. Giving a gift diffuses tension and turns the focus of an interaction on being thankful. It’s one of the best solutions you can adopt when you are racking your mind about “How to save my marriage?”
Marriage problems are a fact of life. Most people struggle at some time with conflict that involves them and their partner. It’s difficult when you feel the love slipping out of your relationship and you’re not sure what you can do to stop the destruction. If you aren’t ready to call it quits and if you still love your spouse, fixing a broken marriage is what you need to focus on. You can save the relationship and in fact, you can actually nurture it to a place where you both love each other more than ever.Most of us, when we are living in a less than perfect marriage, point the finger of blame directly at our spouse. It’s easier to cast blame on their shoulders for the problems you two are going through instead of owning up to your part in the problems. You need to take a moment or two to reflect on your own behavior. Things like nagging, anger and resentment can all have a negative impact on a marriage. If you’ve been treating your spouse in a way that is making them feel less loved than when you two first got together, you need to own up to that. It’s easy to fall into a trap where we start taking advantage of the person we love most. If you’ve done this you need to show your partner how much you truly do treasure them, before it’s too late.Another of the effective tips for fixing a broken marriage is to give your spouse a platform where they can talk openly about their feelings. This seems straightforward and simple, but it’s not at all. Our natural instinct is to protect ourselves when we feel the person we love is being critical. However, you two can’t truly understand the depth of your problems unless you address them openly and in an environment where there isn’t any fear of backlash. A good exercise to accomplish this is to allow each other a specific amount of time to talk about your feelings without any interruption. This can go a long way towards rebuilding the relationship.
What is the foundation of your marriage? What is the one thing that you center everything else on? Is it happiness? Compatibility? Good Times? All of those things are important in a marriage, but I can guarantee you that none of them will keep your marriage together.Happy times come and go. This is a guarantee. Feelings come and go and often times we don’t have control over them. Same with compatibility. Conflicts are going to happen, even in the best of relationships. It’s how you handle the incompatibility that is going to make the difference. The one thing that you can control in all of this is you. You made a promise when you got married, and you can keep that promise. Commitment is the foundation you need to build everything else from.Think about your wedding vows. When you said them, you most likely promised to stay together in sickness and health, in good times and bad, in prosperity etc…you made a commitment that covered pretty much all the ups and downs that life would throw your way. So what happened to that promise? If you are even considering a divorce, I want you to take a minute to just be still, and remember those vows. Remember them. They meant something to you then, and they should still mean something now.Those wedding promises were your commitment to your marriage for life. Commitment is what will hold your marriage together. It is the key to making your relationship last, and avoid divorce. Commitment means you aren’t going to run when the troubles get too hard. Quite the contrary. Instead, it means you are dedicated to doing whatever it takes to work through them. It means you are willing to make changes in yourself, your attitude, your perspective and your actions, to save your marriage. It means you are devoted to your promises. You can do this.Once you and your spouse can lay this foundation, so many more things will fall into place. A committed couple doesn’t thing about divorce, talk about divorce or even threaten it. Why? Because it simply isn’t an option. Hence, once you know that it isn’t a possibility, a whole new range of options will open up before the two of you….options to find a way to make things work; to get the help you need. Where there is a will, and a commitment, there is a way. You CAN save your marriage.
Every married couple has an opportunity to make the best marriage regardless of the many challenges facing our world today. Many forces tend to work contrary to marriages in today’s world but with full determination, couples can enjoy happy lives with each other. Every couple must resolve to defy the hypes of single hood, clamor for ‘freedom’ and every other lie being peddled against the marriage institution.Divergent opinions from friends, relatives, age mates and acquaintances can easily affect a couple’s view of each other and marriage in general. Many of today’s magazines, newspapers, television programs, talk shows and even internet contents have had and still have a very adverse effect on many marriages. These issues, to a greater extent have also twisted the view of many young men and women towards marriage.All the above withstanding, many couples have continued to draw a lot of joy, fulfillment and contentment from their relationships. This, however, has not come easily. A lot of time and energy have been invested into the marriage to reap the benefits. Let every husband and wife take the initiative to make the best contribution towards their marriages. This is the only sure way of having it safe and secure.If you do not create an atmosphere of security in your marriage, you will always feel insecure. Therefore, invest love to get love, mercy to get mercy, joy to get joy, forgiveness to get forgiveness, peace to get peace and compassion to get compassion. The bible says that whatsoever a man sows the same he shall reap. The same bible also says give and it shall come back to you good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over shall men give unto you.