Marriages begin filled with expressions of love, joy and happiness. Each partner giving completely of themselves in an effort to bring those elements as offerings to their fresh new love interest. With such promise for a wonderful future and a healthy relationship how do things go so terribly wrong. A marriage can be saved from stagnation and difficulties if you choose to be happy with your spouse.At first glance that may sound trite. Consider this though, how often are the people we hurt the most are those closest to us? It’s a pattern that usually begins as children when decisions are made or actions are taken that hurt parents. Children may be making a decision to be happy temporarily at the cost of their parents happiness. They are not working in unison with their parents and will believe their decisions are right and correct.Carry this pattern in to marriage and witness the crisis come to life. When partners begin to make self serving decisions that do not take their partner into consideration the relationship begins to unravel. Choose instead to build joy and happiness in the relationship. Let go of the need to be right in discussions or arguments and instead focus on finding the common ground together.Once the focus of the relationship becomes what is positive and good for each other instead of executing self serving personal agendas it will grow to be a healthy relationship. Depending on how ingrained the behaviors have become it may be difficult to make the shift at first and you may need some assistance.
Tag Archive for ralph lauren polo girls
Although we experience many challenges in life, one of the most challenging experiences you can ever go through is a marriage at the brink of collapse. Chances are that you will be thinking of ways of saving your marriage from breaking down. Your family is something that is worth fighting for, otherwise all you have invested in it – time-wise and emotionally among others – will have been wasted. Unfortunately, you may be at a loss as to what you should do.There are four important measures that suffice to change the tide so that your marriage can get back to shape once more. Here are the things you should not take for granted.Fight fairlyFighting fairly is something that many people in marriage relationships do not give much weight. You may have been talking about one simple matter, only for the discussion to turn to heated argument about many other things that you were not dealing with at that moment. This just results in lots of confusion and resentment. You should stick to the issue at hand and avoid personal attacks.Every day brings a new startYou should learn not to bring yesterday’s baggage into today’s journey. Start afresh every day by ensuring that you forgive mistakes of the previous day sincerely and forget them before that day ends.Understand that affection is not a weaponMany married people tend to turn affection into a weapon for ‘punishing’ their partners when things go sour. When there is a problem, they withdraw their affection. If you really want to heal your relationship, you should do the opposite. This is when you should be even more affectionate.You should understand that men and women view affection differently. Men seek for affection more through physical gestures while women tend to focus more on verbal affirmations. When a husband avoids talking with his wife, he is turning affection into a weapon. On the other hand, a wife will do the same by avoiding physical contact – even sleeping separately, or at least changing positions!Unfortunately, couples do not realize that when affection turns to a weapon, it comes with double edges, and they end up cutting themselves too.Avoid the blame gameYou should understand that each of you has personal weaknesses. You should not start pointing fingers whenever your spouse commits a mistake. Even worse, you may blame your partner for something that you are actually responsible for. When you spend time blaming each other, you will have no time to correct the mistakes, and you will just create more tension.You should instead learn to own up to your mistakes and accept full responsibility. Then you should seek for the best solution. These measures will help you to save your marriage before it falls apart.
White lassos? White gloves? White knots? Veils? The word wedding itself? What do they all have in common? They’re all symbols of a wedding ritual somewhere in the world.American brides, of course, traditionally wear white dresses, white gloves and a white veil, all of which symbolize purity and a blank slate, a surface on which the couple can mark their own future. The wedding day is always seen as a starting point, regardless of previous relationships etc. Legend has it that white gloves became a symbol not only of the bride’s purity from mundane, trivial things such as work in the marketplace, they were also a sign of sexual purity. If her gloves were white, the bride likely didn’t soil them with mere household or career tasks, thus she was perceived to be kept free from outside influences. Also, her white gloves distinguished the bride from other colored gloves, notably the green sleeves that were de rigeur apparel for prostitutes in parts of the British Empire.In Mexican weddings, the groom places a white ribbon, or white lasso around the neck of his new bride, and then around his own to symbolize their new connection. The mandatory Pinata, often constructed of white papier mache’ is then produced at Mexican wedding receptions.White knots are now appearing in our culture as symbols of marriage equality for everyone. The organization whiteknot.org offers all manner of helpful tips on how to acquire these knots, tie them, distribute them, and even how to organize and conduct your own neighborhood white knot tying party. The motto of the organization is ‘Everyone should be allowed to tie the knot’.Various other wedding traditions across the world have their roots in the ancient approaches to marriage. Barter and bride price were common in many parts of the western world for centuries. Indeed, the wedding veil is still in common use, and its symbolism isn’t hard to guess. In some parts of the world, men sought to add to their property holdings by using their daughters as tender. Depending on the young woman’s physical attributes, her father may not always have wished for her to be seen prior to closing the transaction. But tradition held that the young man couldn’t see his bride until the deal was sealed, then he lifted the veil to see his life-long companion, and, regardless of his reaction, she was his. There’s an incredibly tender love story in that scenario, and I can’t wait to write it. A note on this item: the word wedding itself has its root in similar words for trade and gamble.Why shoes on the wedding couple’s getaway car? It’s believed that in ancient times, shoes, or likely sandals, were an item of barter. It would make sense, then, that shoes would be exchanged at weddings. And they were, even being thrown at the bride and groom in certain times and places. It seems that somewhat unsafe practice has been replaced by throwing white rice, with the shoes being attached to bumpers instead.As for the tradition of sacramental marriage, the Catholic Church, as an example, didn’t make marriage a sacrament, or refer to the rite as holy matrimony, for several hundred years after its founding. Many Christian denominations, such as the Episcopal Church, still don’t count marriage among the sacraments. The current controversy over same-sex marriage, then takes on a whole new meaning in light of many religious organizations’ claim that such unions are a-religious, and counter to biblical tradition. Since the various states are, in fact, the endorser of record for marriages, it would seem that religious marriage is not the tradition, but the occasion for ritual, and an additional celebratory exercise for the happy couple. It’s equally likely that marriage itself is in the process of being redefined, and reinvigorated once again because of this new understanding. Plus, there is this:All this discussion of tradition, and the wearing of white dresses, gloves, knots etc. comes with a caveat: in older times the color white was not always a symbol of purity, but of happiness and joy. Also, in Eastern cultures, white is a common symbol of death and oblivion. In Japan, for instance, white is commonly worn at funerals.Obviously we need to be aware of what our traditions mean, and celebrate them accordingly.