First, you may feel threatened in some way when you think about surrendering completely to your love for your spouse. Do you feel that you can lose yourself in that love without risking losing your individuality? You can allow yourself and even embrace change without compromising who you are. Growth is always possible and it never has to mean growing apart. You and your spouse can have disagreements without arguments.Second, trust is essential in any relationship-especially a marriage. You can give in to your spouse without the fear of losing anything and without fear of being judged. It is possible to keep the passion alive in your marriage for the duration of your lifetime. The only time you are truly known is in your intimate, long-term relation with your spouse. Third, your lover cannot know who you truly are unless you open up your heart completely. Can you be a participant in a loving relationship with your spouse without being vulnerable? Being intimate always comes with a risk with your spouse and you must be willing to face that risk. Fourth, you and your spouse need to be able to make sure you create a supportive environment or else you willnever be able to share your feelings freely with each other. You must realize spontaneity and control do not work well together. In fact, they cannot work together at all. if control is an issue with either of you, it needs to be addressed. Dependence is a harmful thing in any relationship and it must be changed into a healthydependence. Finally both spouses need to be open to the fact that neither of you can grow without learning from your mistakes.Once you learn how to forgive yourself, you can learn how to forgive your spouse and grudges cannot be held. Broken hearts will not heal if that heart is put at risk again. The point of romance is to grow together in love and intimacy. Love and intimacy can mean a number of different things to different people and all of them are essential to a healthy relationship. Live together, learn together, growtogether and love together.
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Many couples today are reluctant to seek advice for marriage. A combination of pride and stubbornness stops them from progressing from the point of problems. But what they don’t know is that seeking this advice can stop a divorce in record time.It brings new ways of focusing into the game. Things that were overlooked and taken for granted are now seen as valuable and things to be treasured. Marital advice can renew a relationship and even take it to a new height. By being willing to listen, and to work on your problem, you can overcome it, quicker than you think.Yes, if you ever come to the point of considering divorce, and you want to stop a divorce in its tracks, then be open to seek advice for marriage. Many good counselors know just what’s needed for a relationship to bind together from a place of broken-ness, if the two parties are willing to commit to what it takes to pull it off.By knowing that neither you nor your partner are perfect, and neither of you is right in every situation, then it allows you to not expect so much from your mate. Expecting too much always leads to let-downs. Disappointments can throw a big shadow over a relationship. So don’t over-expect, and you’ll be much harder to disappoint.Stay willing to seek advice for marriage. Don’t shut off any avenue that may lead to reconciliation. By doing these things you can stop a divorce in its infancy, while it’s still just a notion.
In other articles, we’ve talked about not keeping score in your marriage. However, there is often an internal debate with husbands and wives that if she would only stop nagging him, he would fulfill her every need, and visa versa. Are you waiting for your spouse to change before you are willing to do your part? Then once you do your part, are you only willing to continue if you see your spouse adjust accordingly?No one should tolerate an abusive spouse, but if you are regularly focusing on perceived faults of your spouse or personality failures (how they “should be” or how they “should act”), you are not really valuing them as a person along with the attributes they have been given. Remember, if you don’t build up your spouse, who will? If they fail and you aren’t there to help them through a crisis, who will? (In fact, a crisis is a wonderful opportunity to solidify your marriage and what you truly stand for. This is why I have interviewed so many successful couples who have been through extremely difficult circumstances.)Since wives are prone to nagging, try to be the sweet voice your husband longs to come home to, the one who praises his strengths and encourages his dreams. Make him miss you the minute he backs out of the driveway. Husbands, keep your focus and priority on your wife. Be aware of her needs. Praise her beauty and her skill. Listen to her concerns. Be affectionate. Put your computer and phone down when she’s sharing her day or her struggles.Put effort into your marriage, not monthly but daily. Forgive when you’ve had a bumpy day and try again tomorrow. Work together through adversity. If these acts seem too difficult given your current conflicts, it’s time to see a marriage counselor.What are the small actions you can take that will make a big difference in your relationship? What are you waiting for?
As a firefighter, I’ve spent years thinking about how to put fires out. But, as a married firefighter, I spend just as much time thinking about how to keep the fire burning in my relationship. Stress takes a toll on every marriage; and public safety marriages – with inordinately high levels of stress – offer an excellent proving ground for advanced studies in marital harmony. Over one-half of all marriages end in divorce; and public safety marriages are notorious for having an even higher failure rate. Here are five fire-proof methods for keeping your relationship hot and healthy in even the most difficult conditions.1. Remember why you got married in the first place. While it is true that most people get married for the wrong reasons (looks, money, fear, opportunity, etc…), people who want to save their relationships are often those who truly loved each other at one point in their relationship. By focusing your mind on the reasons you got married and the things you love about the other person, you can dramatically reduce the size and importance of most marital problems. Remembering why you are in this relationship is an excellent way to rekindle that old flame.2. Think positive and loving thoughts. By diligently thinking happy thoughts, you will restore your own happiness – a critical step to creating a happy relationship. You can only think of one thing at a time; and, if you are constantly focusing on stressful thoughts, you are creating unwanted stress in your life and relationship. Furthermore, stress is the cause of most health problems; so do yourself a favor and lighten-up!3. Do the things you did to “win” your partner in the first place. Remember when you were trying to capture the attention and heart of your partner? Well, the game isn’t over until you’re dead. Keep working on “winning” your partner’s affections and your marriage will never lose that ever so important spark. It may take heroic efforts to save your relationship; if that’s what it takes, be a hero.4. Keep it fresh and exciting. Falling into routines, or “ruts,” is the beginning of the end for most relationships. Keep learning about life and each other. Try new and different things with each other. Be adventurous. Go exploring. Don’t be a stick in the mud – play in the mud! Have fun together and your marriage will provide you with joy rather than stress. Don’t be afraid to be creative when it comes to building something special.5. Spend time together. After a while, couples start avoiding each other because all they seem to do when they are together is argue, fight, or talk about stressful issues. Pay attention to the first four suggestions I offered you and spending time together will be a joy and a pleasure. Think back to the beginning of your relationship and how much you wanted to be together and spend time together – so much so, in fact, that you got married. You can have your own space and time; but, if you’re in a relationship, your partner should be your number one priority – and the person you spend the most time with. Start doing fun things together. Go for walks, spend time in nature, sit in a swing, go to a ball game or something else you both enjoy doing.If you truly want to keep your marriage healthy and fun, do whatever you can to incorporate these suggestions into your life and marriage. In the beginning, you may have to make compromises; but that is a natural part of any relationship whether you like it or not. Learn to give, learn to compromise, and spend your time thinking about what’s really important to you. If you decide that your relationship is what is most important to you, start investing time and energy in your partner and your relationship and try these five suggestions for keeping the home fires burning.
Do you fear that your marriage is heading straight to divorce, and the two of you drift apart? Do you feel as though the passion that once existed has disappeared, and you’re not sure if it will ever catch fire again? You, too, can benefit from the tips and tricks of those who have faced comparable situations and survived. Comprehending the cause of most marriage failures helps us to take the very first step in the direction of happy married life.Experts concur that the #1 reasons marriages are not successful boil down to lousy conflict resolution and poor communication skills. In order to have a happy healthy relationship, couples need to communicate efficiently in order to resolve conflict. If you look closely, couples having a difficult time will tell you that they need help in this area, while strong marriages are made up of couples with good communication and conflict resolution skills. A willingness to try and work at these abilities are often all that is needed to help the relationship grow and strengthen itself. Eventually, given enough practice, a healthy marriage can be easily maintained. Studies show that fresh habits of communication are proven to be effective, almost 100%, when applied to your marriage, so do not hesitate to attempt them.If you want to preserve your marriage then you must learn from what others have experienced; you can then base your own resolution of conflict and communication on this knowledge. Every single marriage is saveable. You have to do anything you can possibly do in order to get your marriage back on track. Afterall, who wants to go through the misery and suffering that divorce will surely bring? It will take time, and may not be simple, but a marriage can be successfully repaired.
Sometimes one person wants to preserve their marriage, while the other does not seem to care. If you are in a situation where your marriage is at risk and you want to know how to save your marriage alone, then here are some tips that can help you accomplish your goal.1. Find Out What Your Partner Thinks Went Wrong.The first thing that you should do, if your partner informs you that he or she no longer wants to be in the marriage, is to find out why. If you do not already know, then you need to find out what is behind his or her sudden disinterest in the relationship. If you know what you are up against, you may be able to do damage control and save your marriage alone.2. Allow Your Partner the Space He or She Needs.If your partner seems adamant about ending the marriage, back off. Give him or her the space that he or she needs. The last thing you want is for him or her to accelerate the process of ending the marriage. Suggest a separation so that you can lay the groundwork to save your marriage alone. Whatever you do, don’t push the issue at this point.3. Try to Remind Your Partner of the Things That Drew You Together.Once your significant other has had some time to be in solitude, start thinking about contacting him or her. You want this to be a positive contact, not one that is stressful or annoying. Call and check in with your husband or wife and ask how they have been doing. Then, try and reminisce with them on the phone. If they don’t seem like they would be receptive, then perhaps you should ask for an in person meeting. The key is to try and get all of those old feelings to resurface. Just remember not to beg or plead your husband or wife to take you back. Keep your emotions in check.Trying to save your marriage alone can be a difficult task. It is important to think your actions through before acting. With some patience and restraint, you may just be able to work things out.
When you learn that your spouse wants a divorce and no longer wants to be in the marriage, your first reaction is to try to talk, apologize and beg your spouse for forgiveness. Right? At least, it was the case for me. This is a knee-jerk reaction to a desperate situation. If you want to learn how to save your marriage, you should first avoid these.Unfortunately, the things that led our spouses to want a divorce haven’t happened overnight. Whatever they are, they build up over time, until the spouse decides it’s not wise to try to go on. Since they haven’t appeared from nowhere overnight; they can’t be gotten rid of overnight. This is not how you save your marriage.Yes, I saved my marriage but it wasn’t by those reactions I gave. I must say that such things actually pushed him further away from me.What I did to save my marriage in the end was; following some outside advice and acting according to them. They told me to lay back, calm down – those will enable you to look at everything from a wider perspective, they said. I was mad with desperation – I wanted something that would quickly fix my marriage. Trying to calm down was so counter-intuitive!that’s why so many marriages end. If you want to save your marriage, you HAVE to do those counter-intuitive things. And because people always go with their intuitions, they end up doing the wrong things to save their marriage, and then a divorce is inevitable.
Are you constantly asking yourself “How Do I Save My Marriage”? My friend… I feel for you. I called you my friend because I had been in that exact situation only some time ago. Whether you are a male or a female, I know how devastating it can be that your loved one is getting away from you day by day. I know how it feels to see your marriage crumbling.I had tried lots of different things out of desperation. I thought – if acting good to him doesn’t work, then acting bad to him has to work… etc. I thought there OUGHT to be something to save my marriage! I wanted to stop my divorce!So here I am, not only I have stopped my divorce and fixed my marriage but also my marriage is now even better than it EVER was!! I have created a web page to share my tips with you, the troubled spouse, because I know exactly what you are feeling right now and want to help you. Before giving you my page’s link, however, I want to share some tips with you.
DO NOT BEG. Never beg to your spouse. If you have been begging, quit it immediately. You know the most basic law of the universe? The “People Want What They Can’t Get” law? You should also know its translation into troubled relationships: “the easier you can get somebody, the less you will want him or her.” When you beg to your spouse, you are actually getting away from saving your marriage. Your spouse will think that you are easy to get anyway and will want you less.
BE ABSENT. Yes, exactly that. Maybe your spouse has already moved out of the house, maybe he or she didn’t. You somehow have to disappear from his / her eye most of the time. If he / she is still living with you, the best option is just going out somewhere and not returning until night.
LEAVE HIM OR HER ALONE. This goes hand to hand with the first thing I said: Do not beg. Leave him or her alone and you will then be more inaccessible to him or her, suddenly making you more desirable in his or her eyes.