Over the last two decades, marriage specialists have researched the ingredients of a happy marriage. As a result, we know more about building a successful marriage today than ever before. For example, happily married couples will have:Healthy expectations of marriage A realistic concept of love A positive attitude and outlook toward life The ability to communicate their feelings An understanding and acceptance of their gender differences The ability to make decisions and settle arguments A common spiritual foundation and goal Every couple should be aware of these issues before they marry. Taking the time to understand these issues is like investing in an insurance policy against divorce.I have learned that living happily ever after is less a mystery than the mastery of certain skills. Although married life will always have its difficulties, you will steadily and dramatically improve your relationship by mastering certain life skills.Many couples wrongly blame in-laws, money, and sex for breakups and marital dissatisfaction. However, the hot points in marriage usually result from poor communication, gender issues, and lack of spiritual health.More relationships begin with an emotional honeymoon, a time of deep and passionate romance. But this romance is invariably temporary. In The Road Less Traveled, Dr. Scott Peck says that “no matter whom we fall in love with, we sooner or later fall out of love if the relationship continues long enough.” He does not mean that we cease loving our partner. He means that the feeling of ecstatic love that characterizes the experience of falling in love always passes. “The honeymoon always ends,” he states. “The bloom of romance always fades,”It is an illusion that the romance in the beginning of a relationship will last forever. This may be hard to swallow, but debunking the myth of eternal romance will do more than just about anything to help you build a lifelong happy marriage.
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Fix My Marriage tips are important to get familiar with if you want to enjoy a healthy relationship with your spouse. Nobody ties the knot thinking it could end someday. Everyone who enters in this permanent relation believes that it will be enduring, but for a number of reasons, the situation ends up in divorce or separation and it happens, the emotional scars and pain can endure for longer.Fix My Marriage tips:1. Apologize: A simple heartfelt and sincere apology can do wonders in strengthening a relationship, particularly if your spouse considers you as an individual who never accepts he or she is at fault.2. Confide sentiments: Confide feelings which are underneath anger like insecurity, embarrassment or fear and be honest.3. Acknowledge spouse’s viewpoint: It does never mean you have to agree with whatever your partner says rather you just need to acknowledge it.4. Seek common ground: Put more emphasis upon things you both have in common instead of your differences.5. If one is going through a situation where the relationship has hit an immediate turn for worse and feels he or she is striving to maintain it, there are certain things that one can do in order to fix the damages. Taking any useful step is important before the situation goes to the pinpoint where one finds that it can not be fixed.6. ‘Fix My Marriage tips’ tools also include accepting some responsibility for the disagreement. Being unable to agree to any accountability is an indication of defensiveness. Moreover, one should be highly committed to improve behavior for the next time. Bear in mind that ‘Sorry’ will not cut it if you are repeating the unpleasant behavior continually.
Studies have proven that having children adds stress to a marriage. With the arrival of the first child, many married couples see a drop in the amount of quality time they get to spend together. And with small children comes the additional stresses from lack of sleep and pressure to be a perfect parent. For the sake of your marriage, you and your spouse must make serious effort to maintain a healthy relationship, while being good parents to your children.Here are a few tips you can utilize to remain happily married after the children arrive.5 Tips for Married Couples with Children- Take time out for the two of you. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant night out on the town. Take 10 or 15 minutes out of the day to catch up and talk about your day with your husband or wife. Take a walk together with your child or children. Plan a date night at least twice a month if not once a week. These small gestures can go a long way in keeping your marriage solid.- Establish responsibilities and tasks for each parent so that one parent is not left to assume all of the tasks related to raising the children. Even if one parent is home all day, while the other works, some responsibilities can still be shared. Even sharing a small responsibility can go a long way.- Use your resources. Enlist the help of a trusted relative or friend to watch your children so that you and your spouse can spend quality time together. The people in your life will understand that you are a married couple and need to spend time together.- Let your partner know that you appreciate him or her. We can get so caught up in making sure that the children are taken care of that we forget about our partner’s needs. Take time out to let your partner know that you appreciate their contributions to the marriage and family. Sometimes these kind words are all we need to get us through a rough day.- Take a team approach to parenting. Staying on the same page with your parenting techniques and being consistent in your parenting styles, is actually a way to maintain intimacy. Using consistent parenting styles will result in less stress and conflict at home and help bring you and your partner closer.
When you realize that your marriage is taking a turn for the worse, whereby divorce seems more and more of a possibility, what you will feel may be difficult to put into words. The situation will be worse when you still love your husband while he does not seem to feel the same way about you. However, you should not just watch helplessly in the false belief that you can not change how your husband feels.Winning a husband’s love is not as challenging as it appears at first. This is why it is unfortunate that many marriages end up in divorce. There are some simple steps that will help you to strengthen the bond between you and your husband.Go back in timeObviously, you could not have been married had your husband been feeling the same way about you from the beginning. There certainly was a time when he used to be crazy about you. You should therefore try to think back at the time when your relationship used to be full of sparks. You will then need to re-establish the things that he used to enjoy in you.Try to figure out the things that drove you closer to each other. You should not let the everyday chores dry up the romance, turning your marriage into a boring routine.Focus on your husbandIn case you had fallen into the trap of the daily grind of life, you should change tact and focus more on your husband. Here again, you can take a lesson from the early stages of your marriage. How much did you attend to his needs? And what’s the situation at present?You should give your husband’s needs top priority if you would like to win back his love. While you certainly have other responsibilities to attend to, you should not push your husband to the background.Bring out the best in himWinning a husband’s love involves making him love himself first of all. You should appreciate your husband’s strong qualities and help him overcome his weaknesses. If your husband does not feel valuable to you, his feelings towards you will change.You should therefore show your husband that you truly value him. Appreciate him. Be honest and specific about the things you say without turning it into some sort of a song either. Just let him know the simple ways in which you appreciate him every day.Winning a husband’s love doesn’t have to be difficult. Such simple measures will help you to make your marriage lively once again. Do not lose hope even when your husband has already started thinking of taking a divorce.
You’re about to tie the knot. Congratulations to you and your intended, and may you have many happy years together.There are a number of considerations prior to the big day, and one of the more important ones is what to do about health care. Especially now that the American system of providing health care is on life support, it’s critical that we all get it right. Those about to marry have a unique opportunity to choose the correct option for themselves and their spouse to be, and, with any luck, and the support of legislators across the aisle, a so-called public option will be one of their choices. By the way, among the various federal HIPAA regulations is the requirement for insurance companies to allow access to a spouse’s insurance policy. If you’re wondering about being able to join their policy, there’s your answer. The only catch? You may have to submit the request in writing, and do it within a certain time period of your marriage, usually 30 days. If you try to enroll after the time period expires, you may have to wait for an open enrollment period.First some simple business realities of getting married when it comes to health care. If you both have an employer provided plan, should you both keep them? Should you instead drop one? Should you drop both of them, opting instead for a family plan? There are a number of questions not easily answered without benefit of a crystal ball, but here are some things to consider.Let’s say one of you is self-employed, or own a small business. You might decide to buy an individual health insurance plan through an agent, a company, or a broker. You can even buy a plan online. As you might imagine there are a number of them out there. If you don’t currently have employer provided coverage, of course, you could exercise the same options. In this case the easiest thing may well be to sign onto your new spouse’s policy. There may be a waiting period for coverage. Check the fine print. It may even make sense that both of you keep your current plan, depending on provisions, co-pays, deductibles etc. Not to be Scrooge-like, but do you really mean to stay together? There are such things as pre-nups; perhaps keeping a health plan may be wise until, well… Love is blind, after all; make sure you have vision coverage.One thing to consider, especially if you’re planning to start a family right away, or if you’re becoming a blended family, is buying a family insurance plan. If it will be just the two of you, but you plan a child right away, family plans have the costs of prenatal care, pregnancy and delivery built in. They generally also provide adequate coverage for kid stuff like immunizations, and well child doctor visits.But what about the public option? Simply put, and the plan is still being fleshed out at this writing, a public option may well be the best kind of coverage for newlyweds. Why? Given that most newly married people are young, have no dependents, and are just starting out, they share something else: they’re watching every penny, unable to afford expensive fee for service, or other elite type insurance coverage. Rather than go without coverage, which many young people do only to end up in an emergency room for treatment, they need a low-cost, high-value option. Particularly since most young newly married people tend to be healthy anyway, their biggest economic exposure is a catastrophic event, trauma, sudden onset illness or work-related injury. Any of these items would be devastating to an uninsured person, and could well bankrupt a newly married couple, setting their lives back many years. A public option for health insurance makes sense for everyone, but especially for the newly married. If you’re planning your nuptials, you may want to pester your legislators to let them know that a public option health care plan would be a fine wedding present.Again, congratulations.
Learning how to stop divorce and save marriage can be done, and IS done all the time. It breaks my heart to know that so many couples would rather let their marriage go than to try to save it. It does take time and effort to work things out, but isn’t a lifetime of happiness worth it? You CAN have a great marriage again!First of all, you must find the source of your problem or problems, so you will be able to fix them. When you were first married, life was much easier. as time goes by, it tends to bring struggles into marriages. Bills, jobs, kids, etc. all lead to a buildup of stress which can be detrimental to the marriage.Never procrastinate when it comes to dealing with these problems. All this will do is give them time to escalate. You want to nip them in the butt, so to speak, as soon as you possibly can. Small problems are much easier to deal with and correct than large ones!As a married couple, the two of you have to learn how to calmly talk about your problems and work them out together. That’s what marriage is all about – having a partner for the rest of your life to work through life’s problems with – together. When things get heated, learn to take a step back. Walk away, and calm down. Nothing can be solved when anger is involved! Talk to each other. Listen to what each other is feeling, and saying. This is the absolute best way to stop divorce and save marriage. By doing it together.All marriages have problems. Single people have problems. And marriage combines individual problems. But marriage also allows the strengths of TWO people to work together to solve these problems.
If you’ve been wondering is your marriage in trouble, chances are very good that it is. We all have an inner instinct when it comes to the relationship we share with our spouse. We can detect quite quickly when something is amiss and when the dynamic has shifted. Even if you two don’t openly talk about the friction in the relationship, it can still mean that you’re headed right towards an inevitable separation and then subsequent divorce. It doesn’t have to end up this way though. If you love your partner and you are committed to keeping your family together, you need to recognize the signs that the marriage is falling apart and then take the necessary steps to fix it before it’s too late.A lack of communication in your relationship may be what brings on the question is your marriage in trouble. Once a couple stops talking about the important issues, the relationship is careening towards a divorce. All relationships take work, and this is especially true of marriage. You have to be able to talk with your spouse about everything that affects you both. If you’ve delegated the brunt of your conversations to topics that center around your children or finances, you need to address that. Set aside some time to talk with your partner about your relationship and anything that is bothering either of you. Be patient and understanding when they share what they are feeling. You can’t rebuild the marriage if you don’t have insight into what is troubling your spouse.You also have to put your partner’s needs about your own if you feel that your marriage is in trouble. It’s easy to start to feel resentment towards the person we married if there are issues tearing you two apart. Something like differing views on a parenting situation can actually start to wear away at the foundation of the relationship. If you want to save the relationship, and keep your family intact, learn how to compromise with your partner. Start considering whether winning the argument at hand is worth losing your family over.
When it becomes obvious that a marriage is in trouble, people start looking for advice that will quickly save it before it’s too late. My best “save my marriage” advice is simple, but not easy. My advice is to be yourself and be the “real deal.”How is being yourself going to help your marriage and why would this be hard? Well, when a marriage is in trouble, both partners begin to feel that the other person needs to change. If one person really wants to save the marriage, they can feel the pressure to change and they may try to become what the other person seems to want.If you’re the one who wants to save your marriage you need to take a hard look at who you have become. We all change to some degree after getting married. We change some things about our beliefs, our attitudes and even our personality. Too often though, people will change to try to become what they think their spouse wants them to be. This is where the problem starts.When we start to change for our partner, things can become muddled and off track. For example, in the first few years of marriage, maybe you both shared household chores, you both took turns taking care of the kids, and you enjoyed watching T.V. together. Later, one partner begins to expect the other to do all of the cooking and cleaning, while they have complete control of the remote to the T.V. At first the partner who is expected to do these things may object, but after a while, they submit to this because they believe that’s what their spouse wants. After all, that’s love, right? Wrong!What’s even more devastating, is that after a few years of this, the one spouse that seems to have all the power in this situation, tells the other that they want out. One person has changed the way they live life to become the person they think their spouse wants them to be, just to find out that that wasn’t what they wanted at all!Now don’t misunderstand me. Change can be a good thing. Changing to try to be what you think the other person wants, is not. Become a better person. Change yes, but change the things about you that you think will make you a better person, don’t just change to save your marriage.If you are your “best self,” the “real deal,” and you’ve changed to be a better person, then you have just followed the best save your marriage advice you can follow. You will begin to like yourself for who you are and not for what you think someone wants you to be.I have some great news for you. A person who is being the best person they can be is one of the most attractive people you will ever meet. Your ability to improve and save your marriage will rise by leaps and bounds when you stop trying to be something you think your spouse wants you to be, and just be the best person you can be.
I get a lot of emails from wives (and sometimes from husbands too) who indicate that the marriage is no longer a close one or that both parties no longer feel as close to one another as they once did. I’ll often hear things like: “we used to talk for hours but now we can’t carry a conversation;” or “I used to feel so close to him but now he feels like a stranger to me;” or “I feel like we’re both going through the motions and don’t really care one way or another.”These statements have one very important thing in common. They all stem from a lack of intimacy which has become increasingly common in modern marriages. People sometimes mistakenly think that they’ve “fallen out of love,” or that they no longer have any “chemistry.” This really isn’t often the case. Instead, what has happened is that the effort hasn’t been there and so the intimacy isn’t there either, although this isn’t necessarily any one’s fault. Changing this dynamic is very much within your control though. I’ll discuss this more in the following article.Is Your Marriage (Or Your Spouse) On The Back Burner?: In order to fix this problem, you must be honest with yourself. Often, I will ask people how much time they devote to just being with and bonding with their spouse. They’ll often replay with something like: “well, as much as I can.” I will then ask them to describe what kinds of activities that they enjoy together and how often these take place, and I’ll often get silence or a blank stare.The truth is, most of us reach a point where we no longer make our marriage our top priority. And, there are many legitimate reasons for this. We are completely overwhelmed with work, children, and staying afloat in this economy and we become “comfortable” after a while and assume that we can sort of coast. We assume that our spouse knows how much we love them and where our commitment and our heart is. And in all likelihood, they do know this. However, just like anything else, you’re going to get from this relationship what you put into it. If you neglect it, it’s going to no doubt suffer. You must prioritize shared experiences that you both enjoy and you must not think for a second that if you don’t do anything to fuel the intimacy that it is going to remain. Getting Back On Track: Most people completely understand with what I’ve just said. However, when it comes to actually doing something concrete to restore the intimacy and closeness, they hesitate. The thought of opening themselves up or of doing something in a new way or of changing the status quo can almost be crippling. It can seem easier to just try to deal with things as they are rather than to change them.But, don’t you and your spouse both deserve to be as happy, close, and fulfilled as you can be? Don’t your children deserve to grow up in a house filled with laughter and love? Isn’t it worth stepping out of your comfort zone if the rewards are so great? Of course it is. But sometimes, taking the first step is the hardest part.To that end, I don’t want you to put a lot of pressure onto this process. Don’t expect to make drastic or awkward changes overnight. Don’t become discouraged if these seem forced or awkward at first. The key here is to make small and repetitive changes that become a habit over time. You don’t have to do anything that makes you horribly uncomfortable. But, you should be able to find a comfortable middle that allows you to keep moving forward.Start small. At first, just set aside 15 minutes to spend together in a light hearted way. Make this a daily thing. Turn off the phone. Turn of the TV. Take a walk together. Vow to not talk about problems or kids or issues that are nothing more than small talk. Ask about your spouse’s experiences that day and really listen. Respond in the way that you would want for him (or her) to respond to you.I often tell people that, over time, their goal should be to become the spouse that they want. Sure, this may seem backward. But, if you’re telling yourself that you don’t really know what to do here, I must tell you that this just isn’t true. You and your spouse were once deeply in love and very strongly connected. You know what it takes to accomplish this. And, you know what makes this relationship work. Now, I know that you may be saying “yes, but things are so different now. There are so many other things to focus on.” This is no doubt true and valid. But you just can’t expect to put 1/4 or less of the time that you used to in the relationship and have it be 100% of what it was. This is just an equation that is never going to add up properly.That doesn’t mean that you should make drastic changes that are going to come off as fake or insincere. But, even small changes or increased time and effort can yield noticeable differences. Once this happens, build on your small successes until you are back to where you want to be.
When you got married no one told you how difficult maintaining your marriage would be. In fact, marriage problems is the last thing you were worried about, because living happily ever after is what you expected from your marriage.This misconception is what leads many people to be less equipped with the knowledge and skills to deal with the unavoidable problems that arise in a marriage.Every marriage has problems, so don’t believe there is a married couple out there that lived their entire lives without a bump in the road. However, successful marriages learn how to deal with these problems head on, while other marriages leave these problems to be solved on their own. If you leave these problems to get solved on their own, they will only keep getting worse.So my advice for marriages in trouble is to deal with these problems in your relationship head on. It will take motivation, courage, and effort to successfully accomplish this, but the reward will be well worth it. Especially when emotions are involved, solving the problems in your marriages might include hurt feelings. No one wants to get their feelings hurt, but this is the only tactic that will transform a troubled marriage into a happy marriage.You don’t lack the motivation if you love your partner, but you might lack the courage to face these problems in your troubled marriage. No matter what problems you have in your marriage you can’t avoid them, you have to face them. So take my advice and reach down deep inside yourself and let the love you have for your partner give you the strength you need to face your problems instead of watching them ruin your marriage.