Making your marriage last is a real possibility, but in order to accomplish this, there are some things that you really need to know about making your marriage work for the long haul. Of course there are no guarantees, but following these ten simple rules, can really do a lot to improve your marriage for life.Respect – This is necessary, for some reason after people are married they don’t think they need to be nice to each other. This is not the case, you need to treat your spouse as you would if you were dealing with a stranger. Speaking Kind Words – You should never speak mean words to your spouse, you can have disagreements but it doesn’t have to become nasty. This is also true when you’re speaking to other people about your spouse, it should always be in a positive light. When you voice something it sometimes becomes reality so you must be careful with your words.Working on you: If you’ve let yourself go and don’t give yourself the attention you need you may be shortchanging your relationship. You may need to give yourself more attention and improvement on emotional, spiritual and physical issues as this will be beneficial to your spouse also. Giving in: There are time when there will be arguments and there are times to hold to your position and other times to let it go. If you need to be the winner every time then there’s a problem, this tells your spouse that they are always wrong.AVOID TEMPTATION. Be sure to stay out of situations in which you might be tempted to stray. If you know you are attracted to someone steer clear of them. Do not be around members of the opposite sex alone and if you find you need to, be sure to include your spouse. This will allow you to show your commitment to your marriage. DON’T LIE. Marriage is based on trust and truth, so be sure that you are not even telling little white lies to your spouse, a lie is a lie. They may not want to hear the truth, but you need to stay it or steer clear of doing things that you might have to lie about eventually. It is a partnership and not a parent / child relationship so be sure that you are both acting like grown ups.BE FRIENDS. Don’t be afraid to let your spouse in. Talk about your feelings and be willing to let them know what makes you tick, turns you on and scares the heck out of you. Marriage is based on communication and sharing is a big part of it. LISTEN. Be sure to listen to what your spouse is saying. Hearing them and trying to understand them, will help you and them to grow not only as people but as a married couple.
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Marriage communication skills are essential for a healthy marriage. One of the most common complaints in struggling relationships is the difficulty a couple has with communication. There is a simple secret that is commonly overlooked.When couples discuss issues or concerns their focus is typically on the conflict or even more common is focusing on something disguised as the conflict. The disguised conflict often masks an underlying concern that hasn’t even been addressed. One or both partners may not even know what the real issue is yet.Regularly the couple spirals downward and expends energy chasing a conflict that they have in fact just created for the sake of discussion. While this contrived conflict may carry some merit it certainly doesn’t warrant the attention it is getting.The secret to marriage communication skills is that you may not be as far apart as it may seem. Sometimes when two people get caught up in conflict they lose sight of the fact that they are both seeking the same thing. A joyful, peaceful and loving marriage is the underlying goal.When a couple actively takes a step back from their conflict, takes a collective deep breath and considers what they agree on they will begin to shift the focus. The more they shift the focus to the positive aspects of the relationship and moving forward the less likely they will remain anchored to their past.It can be difficult at first to make this shift and you may need some help moving in that direction. It has taken both of your efforts to get here. One person taking the initiative to make positive changes can make the difference in a marriage. With the proper assistance you will be on your way to improving your marriage communication skills.
When you’ve been married for some time it’s easy to fall into a rut. This happens to many couples when they suddenly find themselves in the middle of a relationship where they just don’t feel connected to their partner the way they used to. When you’re immersed in this and your emotions are running at an all time high it can be difficult to objectively see the signs a marriage is ending. If you’ve been questioning yourself about whether or not your relationship is really in trouble, there are some indicators that you need to be aware of that will help you see the situation more clearly.One of the most obvious signs a marriage is ending is that the closeness between the couple has vanished. Naturally this includes intimacy but it reaches well beyond that. If you and your spouse just don’t spend any quality time alone anymore, that’s not a good sign. Couples who are emotionally committed to one another crave to be with each other. They don’t care if that time is spent tending to the children or working on the household budget. The key is that they are together, focusing on doing things that forge a closer bond between them. If you or your partner are constantly looking for excuses for why you can’t spend any time together that’s a red flag warning. It usually means the relationship is quickly careening towards a divorce.Another of the signs a marriage is ending that can’t be ignored is a lack of communication between you and your partner. A relationship can’t thrive and flourish if the couple has given up trying to communicate with one another. If you two have stopped talking about anything related to your problems and if most of your conversations center on general household things, that’s not promising. In order to save the relationship you need to start communicating with one another in an open and honest way. Your partner may be feeling wary of bridging the gap that has developed between you two, so you should take that first step. It will benefit not only both of you but your entire family as well.
There is nothing unusual if you are currently experiencing various marital problems and maybe even suffering through marital distress. It’s a natural result of bringing two people together who share everything and live beside each other every day. However, it doesn’t have to be this way all the time if you know how to resolve some common mistakes.Some of the reasons that a marriage might breakup include the couple’s lack of intimate communication, money problems, infidelity that can breakdown trust and medical reasons. And when one or some of these occurs we prefer to avoid the truth and deny that anything has happened, instead of accepting changes.But remember, giving up on a love relationship is not good. You must work at rekindling the lost love. Meaning, you have to mend broken hearts. Here are the things to consider in fixing a broken marriage.1. Seek counseling help. If you’ve tried counseling before and it hasn’t worked for you, it could be that you didn’t have the right counselor. You may have to try another doctor or therapist until you find one that’s right for you. This doesn’t mean that you keep looking until you find a doctor who agrees with you over your spouse, but one who is genuinely concerned and caring enough to help you find your way back to each other.2. Accept changes for yourself. Usually if there are some problems in the marriage, the fault not only lies in your partner, they are also about the things you do as well. Attitudes that are self centered, bossy, jealous, impatient, and untruthful and many others are the reasons for the problems in your marriage. You need to see what you did wrong before blaming your spouse for everything, while he may be responsible for the trouble you both are having, chances are you had your share of moments. The best thing to do is not to spend time dwelling on his flaws. Focus on yourself first.3. Have a positive attitude. You should carry this attitude with you all the time and show it to your family often. You should be loving, optimistic, faithful, grateful, as well as patient, in addition to a whole host of different attributes, so that your family figures that you really love them and want to be with them.4. Build on the commonalities and love you still share for one another. Find a trained professional who can help guide you along your journey through what may be some trying times. Above all, remember that marriage is a sacred covenant that is not to be entered into lightly. Seeking a divorce, unless in extreme cases such as abuse, should not be an option unless you can honestly say you have done all you could to fix the marriage first.5. Interpersonal communication is essential as this is the way on how you share with your feelings with your partner. Active listening or hearing what your partner is saying is another important thing. Active listening allows the listener to hear what is being said and then repeat back to the individual what the listener believes has been said. This type of communication is based on trust between two individuals. This trust provides for a safe environment that allows the individuals to share whatever is on their heart and mind without the concern of rejection, judgment or ridicule, and needs to be maintained as the initial step in how to fix a marriage. 6. Take time to on how much love and passion you have for each other, go out on dates, remember specific situations in which you were both happy and relive them. Laugh about funny instances in your past, and bring in old friends to remind you of younger more fun days in the past. Get friends to watch the children and have an adults night with just the two of you and do something romantic.But above all, if everything is not going well then you take time to bring the problem to God. Be faithful to your partner even if he is not faithful to you, with God’s help, if it is meant to work it will work out.
If you are in a marriage and you don’t need any advice to improve it, then you might be living in denial. Every marriage can make an improvement and a bad marriage can get better. Here are 4 ways you can make a bad marriage better and improve on a good one.1. Every Day Do Something Special: Every day when you wake up you should do something special for your spouse. Make an effort to put a smile on their face each day. Be spontaneous, unpredictable, and do something your spouse never expected.2. Make Your Spouse Your First Priority: You can easily get involved with your job, hobby, or even your kids and almost forget about your spouse’s needs. When your marriage turns bad you have to bump your spouse up to the number one spot. Do not focus so hard on being a fantastic parent that you forget to be a fantastic spouse.3. Learn What Makes Your Spouse Feel Good: At this point in your relationship you should have a good understanding of what makes your spouse feel good. You should continue to give your spouse whatever it is they like. If you don’t know what makes your spouse happy then you can simply ask them. Try to treat them the way you did when you first fell in love.4. Communicate With Your Spouse: You have probably heard of this before, but if you don’t communicate then your marriage will never get better. Tell your spouse what’s on your mind, good or bad, and talk about it openly. Your spouse cannot read your mind so don’t expect them to know how you feel if you don’t tell them.
Bad marriages and good ones have one thing in common; that both are made. You can choose to have a good one or a bad one. All what matters are the tools and materials you use. If you use temporary materials to build your marriage, then automatically it will be short lived but if you use permanent materials, then expect a strong, stable, reliable and secure marriage.Today, you can begin a process that will change the course of your marriage permanently. The first step towards the turn around is by acknowledging that indeed the marriage is not on the right course. Secondly, accept that it is you that made so – do not try to blame anybody including your spouse for the current state. Thirdly, pray and believe you can change the course of your marriage by God’s help. Fourthly, make a verbal (or even written) commitment to your spouse that you have decided to make a good and happy marriage. Fifthly, plead with your spouse to join you in changing the destiny of your marriage.If you will be committed to the decision you will make, then there is nothing that will be difficult to achieve. You will face hurdles on your path but remember your goal is to achieve a successful, happy, fulfilling, secure and joyful marriage. Do not settle at anything short of this. Be passionate and determined to see and experience the best out of your marriage. Do not entertain contrary views and ideas like ‘it will not work’. Be good and you will make a good marriage.
The other day, I received an email from a wife whose husband had asked for “space.” He needed “time to think” and wanted to be able to do so without the wife around as much. Of course, the wife did not know quite how to take this. It felt like rejection. It felt like the first step of breaking up. It felt like her didn’t want her anymore. So, naturally, this made her want to make her presence known that much more. She knew that pushing herself on him when he asked for space might just be the wrong thing to do. However, she was having a very hard time with this. She simply wanted to be with him and it felt wrong to step back. She asked how she could get through this and give him the space he had asked for. I’ll share with you what I advised her to do in the following article.When A Husband Asks For Space, You Should Make It Work For You: There are many reasons that a man will pull away or ask for some alone time to reflect. Sometimes, this doesn’t even have that much to do with you. He may not connect the dots with this though. He may well be projecting his frustration in other areas onto you. Or, he may be having some issues with himself. Other times, he may be contemplating or reflecting on the relationship and may just want to be able to do this without your being there influencing his thoughts. Sometimes, he just wants to broad on his own. Men very rarely want to share their vulnerability with their wife.However, never underestimate silence and distance as a tool that can work for you rather than against you. Basically, you have a choice here. You know that when he’s taking his “space” he’s going to reflect upon you and the relationship, so don’t allow the recent images of you to be those of you arguing and / or guilting or placing yourself in a negative light.Instead, handle yourself with respect and grace. Treat him in the way that you would want to be treated if the roles were reversed. Make it clear that you love him and want him to be happy, but respect his request and make it clear that you’re going to take advantage of the time also. This doesn’t mean to play games or insinuate that you’re going to act out. This means showing him that you are strong, independent, and capable. Not only that, but that you’ll do your own reflecting during this process.Show Him The Strong And Attractive Side Of You, Not The Weak And Needy Side: It’s so easy to “just check in.” Or to call and text much more than you intend to. It’s all too tempting to keep checking his face book page or twitter or however else you keep tabs on him. Resist this urge. It will only make you appear to be needy and less than attractive. You will again become the woman who is holding on too tight. Stay as busy as you need to be so that you aren’t tempted to do these things. However, make sure that these things that keep you busy are fun for you.Surely there are things that you’ve meant to do lately but just haven’t gotten around to it or postponed because you didn’t want to take time away from him. Well, now is the perfect time to take advantage of this time. Do not sit home and dwell on this. Do not play sad love songs or write painful poetry. Don’t pull out old photos or videos. All of these things will only feed into your feeling desperate and this is not what you want.Instead, focus on things that make you happy, build your confidence and build some peace. Know that this is going to turn out OK, no matter what because you both deserve to be happy. Go get a makeover or new hair style. Make sure he knows that you love yourself enough to care about you as much as you do him.Create Positive Perceptions: He may be having doubts and negative perceptions about the relationship right now, but you can’t control his thoughts. You can only control how you act and respond when the two of you interact right now. And, you want to leave him thinking positive thoughts when he thinks of you. This doesn’t mean that you need to be overly sweet or syrupy nice. He’s probably smart enough to spot insincerity and trickery. But, you are very capable of interacting in a positive way. You ware very capable of showing him the best side of yourself which presents the qualities that he fell in love with. You know how to hold a light hearted and happy conversation with him.Do not present yourself as the wounded on whom he should take pity. Present yourself as the fun loving woman who is pleasant and fun to be around. This will make him miss you quicker than trying to convince him that he’s wrong – which is what many of us do. I know that this might run counter to what you feel like doing, but try to take a step back and think about what’s really best, not what feels right at this time – but what might later turn out to be a mistake.
When you want to save your marriage, it is best to have a reputable self help book on marriage at your side. These books are written by experts, and will lead you in the direction you need to go, when you want to fix your marital problems – NOT make them worse!Too many times, people talk about how they wish they could go back and change something they did. By then, it’s usually too late. It’s not impossible, but it will be much easier to save your marriage when you know what to expect, and what to do – the right way, the first time.This is a horrible situation to be in, and a lot of people try to drown their sorrow with alcohol, or take drugs to lessen the pain. Please, don’t be one of these people! All this will do is make you feel worse, and will inhibit your chances of saving your marriage! You have to be able to think clearly now.A good self help book on marriage will teach you many things. One of which will be to control your feelings, whether it be anger, sadness, etc. A troubled marriage brings feelings of worry, depression, and anxiety, to name a few. These feelings tend to make us do things that we would not normally do, thus causing even more trouble in the marriage.You will also learn how to cope during this difficult time. It will teach you that you’re not crazy. A lot of people have gone through what you are right now, and have felt the way you do. Just knowing that someone else has gone through this sometimes gives us the needed strength to get up and fix the problems in our marriage.