Divorces and breakups can be prevented if people are willing to take a close look at themselves. We can’t control our partners. Examining our own actions and their effect on our marriage may be the key to saving it.Marriages have cycles – that’s normal Arguments are also normal provided they aren’t a common occurrence. Dealing with the disagreements in a productive, fair, and honest way can have a dramatic influence on the longevity of a union.Many couples don’t want to admit that they have a problem. Love stories, movies, and other media have given us all a false idea of what marriage is. Happily ever after sounds great and is achievable if a couple accepts that there will be bumps in the road. Unrealistic expectations can often get in the way of progress and growth. Disappointment can cloud our vision of what needs to be done in order to move our relationship forward.Here are a few issues that seem to cause many of the marriage problems we face today:1 – balance between work and home is not equal.2 – household duties are only performed by one spouse leaving the other spouse feeling resentful3 – one partner is in a foul mood more often than not 4 – less time or interest in love makingSometimes just sitting down together and discussing issues is not enough. There are excellent resources available for couples who are truly eager to make their marriage work. Many of these resources focus on learning about your spouse and loving them in a different way as well as learning or re-learning to communicate more effectively.
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If you are a married woman that often states “My husband ignores me for weeks on end.” then you may need to learn how to communicate with your husband. There is a good chance that something you may have said or done was perceived by him in the wrong way which is the reason behind your husband ignoring you.Men need to feel respected in order to give back to their relationship. If they don’t feel any respect then many times they will tune out the whole situation they are in and go into survival mode. Survival mode will allow a husband to keep going through his life, but not really live it. He is married to his wife in name and by law only, but emotionally he is totally checked out of the whole situation and totally ignoring his wife.There are many things that may have caused a man to go into marriage survival mode, but most of the time it comes down to one thing: he has been made to feel inadequate.Try to think back to a time before your husband checked out of your marriage. Were you trying to change a habit that your husband had? Did you nag him about it every time you had a chance? This was is a good example of where things can start to go wrong. Of course, this is a blatant example and probably not the case in most marriages.Many times a woman doesn’t even mean to make her husband feel inadequate, it’s a matter of a simple comment that can be perceived by a husband as “I’m not good enough.” A wife make a statement like “The Carters just bought a gorgeous house.” and her husband can immediately start thinking in his mind that he is not good enough. Maybe he starts thinking that he needs to get a better job and make more money to keep up with the Carters so his wife will respect him. If he acts on these thoughts then he will possibly start to throw himself more at his work and not come home until late at night which will then make the problem even worse in the eyes of the wife. Women don’t get it because we are perfectly happy with what we have, so we can’t understand why our husband is working more. Eventually everything falls into a spiral leading our husband into survival mode and checking out.If you want your husband to stop ignoring you, then you need to start making him feel respected again, even if he doesn’t deserve it at this point in time. Try to start thinking about how he will perceive what you may say and think about how you can make your statement differently and still get your point across. Don’t stop saying what you think, just turn on the filter to make your statement in his language.
No marriage is perfect. Humans are not perfect. And the fact that imperfection exists makes arguments and conflicts a reality in marriage.You may have heard and read so many tips on how to resolve conflicts in marriage. But what you should know is that there’s no perfect formula applicable to all married couples. Each couple is unique just as each individual has his own unique personality.No matter how much couples try to keep their marriage smooth sailing, conflicts can crop up along the way. However, this alone should not be cause for your love to fade. It’s natural that misunderstandings and arguments can occur due to differences in opinions and beliefs. What matters most is how you two are able to handle the situation and find ways to resolve your issues.The advice of some people to solve issues that may come up during the day before you call it a night may not actually be right. Do understand that emotions can be high after a conflict and for others, it can take more than a day before they can cool down and let the issue pass. The most important thing to do then is to give each other space to cool your heads off before making up. If your spouse is not speaking to you, let it be that way for a while.Wives tend to be more skillful when it comes to determining whether their husbands are ready to solve the problem. They can stretch their patience if necessary for the benefit of settling the issue and to regain the peace in their homes. But of course, there are also husbands who can be very understanding of their wives and their personalities.If you love your spouse, there’s no way that you should let conflicts affect your marital bond. Acceptance of each other’s flaws and unique personality is vital. Being anxious is a natural emotion when in this situation but learn to get the courage to settle problems in a calm manner as much as possible.No conflicts can be settled with each of you raising your voices. To effectively communicate your message, talk things out in a calm voice making sure that you give each other time to speak what’s on your mind. Listening is crucial as well because this gives you the opportunity to hear out what your partner feels and wants to accomplish.Conflicts in marriage can come from different aspects. It can be about money, your child or children, your home, in-laws, business or attitude. Most often, money is the root of all issues between married couples. This can really be devastating especially in situations when one spouse loses a job or suffers from disability that will prevent him or her from working.Minor problems when not solved right away can also get bloated eventually leading to more serious conflicts. The right attitude is to never ignore them but instead try to find a way to correct them. Self-assessment can be very helpful as well.Keep in mind that your love for your spouse should be a major reason to keep your marriage in good shape. No conflicts can break your tie if you love and trust each other.