If you you’ve found yourself in a situation where your marriage is on a roller coaster ride then you need to understand what the underlying causes of the situation are. Sure we all want that perfect fairytale where we meet the person of our dreams and then live happily ever after. At least it feel that way on the wedding day. Unfortunately, the honeymoon ends sooner than expected, and the trials of life begin to take there toll. Below I have outlined the top ways and reason that marriages fail and what step you should take in order to save it.10. Pay Attention to Detail – Taking care of the little thing that make your partner happy. Whether its rubbing the back after a long day or washing the car, or cleaning the kitchen.9. Getting Upset over Small Items – It’s truly amazing at how we have become so obsessed over small mistakes and items that are not significant. Don’t belittle your partner, they are on your side and working as a team is part of the union of marriage.8. Not Spending Enough Time Together – If going out with the friends is your main priority, then you should reconsider that behavior. Either figure out a way to include your spouse or plan on doing it seldom. Being married means doing things as a couple.7. Always Picking and Commenting About One Thing or Another – This grates on a person after a while. It’s funny because if you don’t like the way something is, then why not either do it yourself, or save comments to yourself. Why pick at another person.6. Keeping Yourself in Shape and Looking Attractive – A good number of people tend to think that once your married that staying attractive and in shape is optional. This is not true. Keeping yourself looking good for your partner will give them more reason to want to spend more time with you and be proud of who they are with.5. Pretending that You Don’t Have Responsibility To The Situation – Acting is if the only person at fault in your relationship is the other partner. “They did this”, or “They said that” is playing like you are a victim and have not been apart of a failing relationship. You have to take some responsibility.4. Going Overboard During Disagreements – One essential aspect of managing disagreements / arguments is avoiding getting personal. Demeaning some else just to prove you point is very counter productive and accomplishes nothing, other than just trying to hurt the other person. This type of behavior is very destructive to the foundation of a relationship. Don’t do it ever.3. Confiding in Your Partner Only – As a couple you share everything. If you have conversations that include thoughts about others including friends and or family members you need to keep that information to yourselves. Sharing things that are between the two of you are for your ears only. Don’t drag family members into your business.2. Making Purchase Decisions Alone – In today’s environment of scaling back and watching the dollars that come through the household, spending money on extravagant items without consulting your partner can put a lot of strain on a relationship. Set a maximum amount of what you can spend before having to talk about it together, and this will solve this problem.1. Lack of Intimacy – Not spending time in the bedroom with your spouse is a sure sign that there is serious problem. If you are not able to make love with each other in a passionate way, then there are underlying problems that need to be addressed soon or this will ultimately push the two of you into splitting up. Remember no sex = no marriage, for most, it’s really that simple.It’s a challenging task to take on when you are feeling depressed about your situation to try and implement or act on some of the items mentioned above. The time to act is now however, before the situation becomes unmanageable, and you are left with little options on the choices you will be able to make.
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Marriage advice for men – one of the most common complaints that women have about their husbands is that the don’t show their emotions. Unfortunately, as a man, you were probably raised to hide how you feel. When you are looking for ways to better your marriage, or to save it from divorce, you are going to have to instill in you mind that this simply isn’t true. Your wife NEEDS you to show your emotions!One of the most horrible sayings I’ve heard is someone telling a little boy who got either physically hurt, or got his feelings hurt, is ‘man up’ or ‘take it like a man’. What in the world is this saying to that little boy? It is saying that, in order to be a man, you can’t show how you really feel! That is outrageous! When you are married, you have got to let go of that stereotype, and be yourself with your wife – she is your WIFE – the one person in the world that you shouldn’t be ashamed to show your true feelings toward!Hiding your emotions not only has a negative impact on you, but also your marriage. While you are simply doing what society has drilled into your head since you were born, your wife was probably raised to show her emotions. She just can’t understand why you don’t, and she misunderstands your reactions as not caring. Most men I know that suffer from marital problems try to hide the fact that anything is wrong. You cannot do this, if you want to save your marriage. You have to learn how to open up to your wife. It will be hard at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will be. And your wife will start to see that you do, indeed, love her and want her in your life. When you are worried about something, what feelings do you show? Many men show anger and frustration. When women get worried about something, they show their feelings (most of the time). Women don’t understand how men think, so they think men don’t care.By taking that step to talk to your wife, even a little at first, you will open a door that will not only save your marriage, but will take it to a new level. The two of you will form new bonds that no problems will be able to break. All it takes is one step at a time.
The relationship between the wife and the husband can be very complicated to say the least. Failure in understanding the marriage relationship causes many marriages to break up in our society.It is very important for at least one, but preferably both partners in a marriage to understand how the relationship is supposed to work. This understanding will give the marriage the best chance of long-term success.The biggest key to understanding the marriage relationship is a realization of the differences between men and women. Of course, there are clear differences physically, but often we overlook the fact that men and women are different mentally and emotionally as well.One of the major differences that faces the wife-husband relationship is the way men and women solve problems. Men and women approach problem resolution from entirely different angles.When women are faced with a problem, they like to talk about it (often at great length), with other people. They will get together with friends and discuss their problems and solicit advice and input.The reason women like to talk at length about their problems is that this is the primary way they solve the problem.This is very hard for men to understand, because men just think that women like to go too in-depth focusing on the problem. What they don’t understand is that women are simply exploring all the angles and their feelings about each angle, in hopes that a solution will appear.On the other hand, men are far less likely to talk about their problems. Instead, they usually keep it to themselves and think about how they are going to solve it. When they have finally figured out a solution, then they may start to discuss the problem with others, along with their solution to the problem.When it comes to the relationship between a husband and a wife, this difference can become a major stumbling block. He might get tired of her talking on and on about a problem she has, not realizing that this is her way of arriving at a solution.By the same token, she may think he is uncaring and insensitive about something, simply because he’s not talking about it. The reality is he’s thinking about it constantly, he’s just not ready to discuss it until he’s figured out the solution.Another major difference in understanding the marriage relationship is that women sometimes discuss things they don’t really want advice about or help with. They are just wanting to get something off their chest.This is a foreign concept to most men. When men talk about something, they tend to have a purpose in doing so (unless it’s talking sports with other guys). Usually, when men talk about a problem, it is for the purpose of solving it. Most men can’t understand why you would just want to talk about something without saying or doing anything to resolve it.So, the way this plays out in a marriage is that the man will listen to what the woman says, then quickly state a solution to her problem. He thinks he’s done his job and is done with the conversation. To his surprise, his wife yells at him for “not listening” and “not trying to understand” her feelings.Granted, this is a generalization and does not apply in every case, but most of the time it’s true. Most men prefer less talk and most women prefer more talk. And, most women at times like to talk just to vent, not necessarily to resolve a problem.So, next time you are tempted to react naturally during a conversation about a particular problem, stop yourself and take some time to understand where your partner is coming from. This will go a long way in understanding the marriage relationship.
As a firefighter, I’ve spent years thinking about how to put fires out. But, as a married firefighter, I spend just as much time thinking about how to keep the fire burning in my relationship. Stress takes a toll on every marriage; and public safety marriages – with inordinately high levels of stress – offer an excellent proving ground for advanced studies in marital harmony. Over one-half of all marriages end in divorce; and public safety marriages are notorious for having an even higher failure rate. Here are five fire-proof methods for keeping your relationship hot and healthy in even the most difficult conditions.1. Remember why you got married in the first place. While it is true that most people get married for the wrong reasons (looks, money, fear, opportunity, etc…), people who want to save their relationships are often those who truly loved each other at one point in their relationship. By focusing your mind on the reasons you got married and the things you love about the other person, you can dramatically reduce the size and importance of most marital problems. Remembering why you are in this relationship is an excellent way to rekindle that old flame.2. Think positive and loving thoughts. By diligently thinking happy thoughts, you will restore your own happiness – a critical step to creating a happy relationship. You can only think of one thing at a time; and, if you are constantly focusing on stressful thoughts, you are creating unwanted stress in your life and relationship. Furthermore, stress is the cause of most health problems; so do yourself a favor and lighten-up!3. Do the things you did to “win” your partner in the first place. Remember when you were trying to capture the attention and heart of your partner? Well, the game isn’t over until you’re dead. Keep working on “winning” your partner’s affections and your marriage will never lose that ever so important spark. It may take heroic efforts to save your relationship; if that’s what it takes, be a hero.4. Keep it fresh and exciting. Falling into routines, or “ruts,” is the beginning of the end for most relationships. Keep learning about life and each other. Try new and different things with each other. Be adventurous. Go exploring. Don’t be a stick in the mud – play in the mud! Have fun together and your marriage will provide you with joy rather than stress. Don’t be afraid to be creative when it comes to building something special.5. Spend time together. After a while, couples start avoiding each other because all they seem to do when they are together is argue, fight, or talk about stressful issues. Pay attention to the first four suggestions I offered you and spending time together will be a joy and a pleasure. Think back to the beginning of your relationship and how much you wanted to be together and spend time together – so much so, in fact, that you got married. You can have your own space and time; but, if you’re in a relationship, your partner should be your number one priority – and the person you spend the most time with. Start doing fun things together. Go for walks, spend time in nature, sit in a swing, go to a ball game or something else you both enjoy doing.If you truly want to keep your marriage healthy and fun, do whatever you can to incorporate these suggestions into your life and marriage. In the beginning, you may have to make compromises; but that is a natural part of any relationship whether you like it or not. Learn to give, learn to compromise, and spend your time thinking about what’s really important to you. If you decide that your relationship is what is most important to you, start investing time and energy in your partner and your relationship and try these five suggestions for keeping the home fires burning.
Can a marriage survive without intimacy? If you’ve been wondering about the answer to this question you’re living in a very challenging situation. Intimacy is crucial to the success of any marriage and if it’s disappeared from yours you may be wondering whether or not the relationship can be saved. The answer is yes, it can be. There are steps you can begin taking today that will rebuild the romantic bond between you and your partner so the relationship can be even more satisfying in the future.When you are contemplating the question can a marriage survive without intimacy you are obviously missing that part of the dynamic in the relationship you share with your spouse. Although many couples are forced into a situation where they have to deal with a physical limitation that impacts their intimate life, that’s not always the case. Many couples simply lose interest in one another sexually over time until it reaches a point where they just don’t want to make love. If that’s the case in your relationship and you’re not happy about it, you can take steps to make a change. Even couples who haven’t been intimate in years can rediscover each other.If you want to bring the intimacy back into your relationship begin with evaluating whether there is any ongoing conflict occurring between you and your partner. Stress can completely change the dynamic of a marriage and can lead to a build up of resentment. Once resentment is present, intimacy can quickly fade away. It’s hard for many people to be close with someone they feel upset or angry with. If there is a problem like this between you and your spouse, address it now. You have to find a way to iron out your differences if you hope to be physically intimate again.
Marriage is a Pandora’s Box, a Tower of Babel–to use a biblical expression. It was never designed to be the panacea of personal satisfaction. God has more in his sights for our learning in the institution of marriage–the person of God has an ‘interesting’ sense of humour it seems.This comes of no surprise to those married for some time. They can afford a tongue-in-cheek smile for they’ve been exposed to, and have largely conquered, the challenges. They’ve had to modify their various modus operandi and trim their views.Marriage is a quest of discernment–begin it and continue to live, better and better; kick against it and we struggle until we’re spat out, as if by allusion to Laodicean methodologies.Furthermore, children (and the raising of them) come without instructions. We see many parents get the task of parenting horribly wrong, notwithstanding ourselves. Jeepers, I’ve made some real clangers (and continue to!).Still, we must learn. Thrive and survive or wallow and perish. It requires compromise but not in values or beliefs. The compromise is at the heart level, the surrendering of the will. Furthermore, it’s said that the husband must surrender his heart to love his wife, and the wife must surrender her will to respect her husband. A universal law it seems.Marriage, like raising children, is a ‘learn as you go’ proposition. Early in marriage we still have the “Probationary” plates on, having proceeded to the Wedding on the “Learner” plates. Heck, we still feel like we’re on learner plates at times, in seasons. Ask the man with the 43-year-old marriage and wife that’s just walked out if he’s learning anything new? Or ask the woman in her very early 60s if she’s learning anything with her husband taken from her twenty years early.Life is a ‘learn as you go’ proposition. The quicker we understand and accept that truth humbly the better we’ll actually begin to enjoy and interact with life.
If you want to do a marriage license search, then straight away go to some search engines and search for the websites. There are lots of websites out there which will give you the information immediately if you give them some information about the person for whom you are doing the search for.You have to enter some information like the person’s full name and their date of birth and then you have to pay them small amount like 20 to 50 dollars and then they will show you the record immediately. They not only will give the information about the marriage record, there are some websites out there which will give you almost entire personal details about the person.The marriage license is declared as a public record long time ago, and there is nothing illegal in publishing that. These websites are completely legal and fully confidential and they are legally permitted to publish the information. So, there is nothing wrong, if you subscribe with them and pay them to see the marriage license. Even some websites will give you the financial report of the person.You can get the marriage license if you go directly to the county office in which the person got married. For that, first of all, you should know the place where they got married, and you need to fill out the form. In the form, you should write all the details, about the bride and groom’s first name and last name, and if their names have changed before and after marriage means, you need to mention both the names, and their date of birth, date of marriage etc., After this, you need to show some proof telling that you are authorized to get the marriage license of the person and you need to be in person in the office.This is a long process, and if you really don’t want the original license in hand, and you just want to know about the details of the marriage license, then the best way is to process through the websites. They are secure and reliable too. Moreover, if you just want to know about your boyfriend before you make any important decision like getting married, then you should surely check the marriage license search websites. They will also give you lot of other information about this person, so this will be useful for you in making your decision. There is no way that your boyfriend can find out about your checking on him. So go ahead and check the details and get married happily without any doubt in your mind.
Many people are disappointed in their marriages as they assume that things will be smooth-sailing as they take their vows. Unfortunately, marriages have their own challenges. Things don’t work out automatically, and both partners need to really invest in the marriage. In many cases, it takes just a short time for couples to start going slowly apart, almost imperceptibly. As a wife, you may begin to have your doubts whether that great man is really still passionate about you as he used to be. You may therefore be wondering whether there is anything you can do to influence your husband to fall in love once more. The fact is that there are some useful steps that will help you if you want to strengthen your marriage in this way.Focus on your marriageWe live in a busy world where people have lots of responsibilities. There are many demands that need your attention. Perhaps you have a career that you have to consider. Alternatively, you may be so involved in caring for your kids that you push your husband to the background.Your husband will take note that he has fallen almost to the bottom of your list of priorities. This is something that he won’t take lightly, and it will greatly influence how he feels about you.Regardless of how busy you are, you should set some time apart just for you and your husband. This does not necessarily mean that you have to plan for a holiday together. You may even just share an evening without any interruptions. When you give your husband the first priority in such a way, he is bound to start falling in love with you once more.Take care of yourselfIn many cases, wives do not just put their husbands at the bottom of their priorities. They also usually neglect themselves as well. If you want to influence your husband to love you once more, you should make yourself interesting. Take time to improve yourself.This does not just mean taking care of your physical appearance. You can pursue your area of interest, enhancing your skills. This includes even going for further studies.Determine what drove the guy to you in the first place, and be that person he was interested in. When you come to think of it, didn’t you have your own life when you met? Remember that men love independent women. Re-awaken your passions and you will influence your husband to fall in love again.Give him the kind of treat you would like to receiveIf you would like your husband to be kind with you, then be kind with him first of all. Appreciate your husband, and he will love you more. Make him enjoy coming to a comfortable home.
When children come in a marriage, it is important to remember that your children will some day grow up and when they leave the house it will only be you and your spouse again. This means that you must keep the relationship between you and your husband healthy. This can be done by making sure you have time alone with the person you love. To spend time with each other doing things that both of you enjoy. It could be going to the movies or going to dinner or simply taking a walk together.It is important to communicate with each other about how to raise the kids. What should be punishment and what should the kids be allowed to do. Don’t discuss this all in front of the kids. They should always believe that you both are on the same page. You are a united front. You’ll need this especially when your children reach the teenage years!Don’t give up on your children. Sometimes they will do things that they shouldn’t or were told not to but this is normal. It is the job of parents to make sure our kids stay on track, to guide them. They probably don’t want to be guided but it is important to continually do this, later we will reap the rewards. My mother always told me that some day my children would rise up and call me blessed like it says in the Bible. I have with my Mother and Father and I can’t wait til the day my children do to!
Mostly, I get people who are struggling to save their marriages as visitors to my blog. But sometimes, I also get folks who are struggling with the question of when is the right time to leave the marriage. And, these folks also wonder how they can tell when (or if) they have reached this point. I believe that mostly, these folks are not yet at a place where they are entirely comfortable with the way that they are leaning in terms of ending their marriages. If they were, they would not have found my site, which details my struggles as I tried to save my marriage. Still, I often try very much to be objective and to offer what insights that I can. I’ll tell you what I typically tell them in the following article.Deal Breakers That Mean You Should Leave Your Marriage Now: I have to be fair and upfront. For the most part, I lean toward saving marriages when at all possible. However, there are some circumstances with which I have no patience. These are cases of abuse – whether it is verbal, physical, or emotional. My stance is the same whether it is the spouse who is being hurt or whether it is a child in the household. It will typically become clear pretty quickly if your spouse is willing or able to be rehabilitated. My rule is often that they get only one chance to turn themselves around. The second time that they commit the same acts, this is the deal breaker and this is when it becomes an unhealthy pattern that you must break. I know that this is difficult, but often removing yourself from the situation is the only safe way, and is also the only way that is likely going to get their attention if they are able to be rehabilitated.People will often assume that I believe that infidelity is one of these deal breakers. This isn’t always the case. Sometimes if you are dealing with a repeat cheater who is never really going to change, then that may be a different story. However, many cases of marital infidelity can be very successfully worked though. In fact sometimes, the marriage is even made better so long as both parties work together to right what is wrong.Clues That You’re Ready To Leave Your Marriage: Before I tell you what I believe are some of the cornerstones of someone who is really ready to walk away from their marriage, I should tell you that most people who I talk to have not yet reached this point. If they had, they probably wouldn’t be asking the question because they would be at peace with their decision enough that they didn’t worry that they were making the wrong call.However, I do run across folks who have reached this point occasionally. It’s pretty easy to pick them out. They aren’t anxious about my reply. They’re likely going to proceed no matter what I say. They know that there is nothing that can change their mind because they know that they have tried everything that there is to try and have attempted every possible method and effort that could save their marriage. They have done everything in their power to ensure that this ends in as healthy a manner as possible. To that end, there is generally no animosity, resentment, anger, or fear. Generally in these cases both parties are ending things as amicably as possible. This can generally happen because they both know that they tried everything that they could so there is no need for blaming or fear that they are ending things too soon. Generally, there is no jealousy. Both parties want the other to be happy and would support their ex in another loving relationship.What If You Still Have Doubt That You Should Leave The Marriage?: Often, people will tell me that they can’t honestly say that they’ve yet reached these levels. They often have to admit that they’ve held back in some way, left something unsaid, or have employed some defense mechanism that may have thwarted a reconciliation. Deep down, they realize that they might have a problem with their spouse being with someone else because there are unresolved issues there or feelings like anger, jealousy, and resentment present.Almost always, these left over feelings stem mostly from unfinished business. So, if you still have that nagging little feeling that won’t let you leave with a clear conscience and without doubt, ask yourself if there is any unfinished business that you have not yet addressed. Often, there absolutely is and it’s not until you’ve fully addressed it that you will feel this burden lift.I remember that before my husband I started having problems, I would always remember Dr. Phil telling viewers that they had to “earn they way out of a marriage.” In other words, if they wanted to leave their marriage with a clear conscience, they had to know that they turned over every stone to save it first. This used to annoy me when I was happily married. I used to think that these phrases were very easy for Dr. Phil to say, considering he and Robin seemed blissfully happy.But, knowing what I know now, I have to suspect that, like all couples, Phil and Robin have had some issues over the years. (I actually know this to be true from reading both of their books.) But, I also suspect that they dug in and did the hard work needed to get back on track. If you haven’t yet done this work, and you’re still researching the right time to end your marriage, perhaps you have not yet done all of this work. Could that be possible? If you suspect that is true, you owe it to yourself (and to your spouse and children, if you have them) to cover all of the bases so that when and if you do try to proceed forward alone, you won’t have the doubt that you do right now.