Sex is a human need. Let’s face it, none of us would be here without it. Along with money, it makes the world go round. If we have both these things in abundance, then generally we have a good chance of being happy, or at least happier.When your partner doesn’t want to have sex for long periods of time, it can make you feel rejected and unwanted. Men in particular need this level of intimacy. Whether you are male or female, if you want regular sex and your partner doesn’t, it is likely to cause problems. When you first got together, you probably couldn’t get enough of each other. Perhaps this changed after you get married. Maybe work and kids have made it less of a priority for your partner. But if you still consider it an important aspect of your life together, frustration is going to build – figuratively and literally speaking.Maybe you’ve tried talking to them about it. Does it end up spiraling into an argument because you both can’t seem to see where the other is coming from? This further decreases the chances of you sharing what is such a special and intimate act. It probably spills over into other areas of your marriage too – resentment and frustration on both your parts is never going to spell good news. It may even be jeopardizing the marriage. In a good marriage, a good sex life will be the icing on the cake. If you really want that icing, it’s up to you to take the steps needed to get it.
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In much of my research about marriage, a couple of words pop up frequently-love and respect. I recently heard a discussion that gave these concepts some fresh understanding. That is: Men primarily desire respect, and women primarily desire love. If a man doesn’t feel respected, it is difficult for him to provide love. If a woman doesn’t feel loved, it is difficult for her to provide respect.So, there’s the rub. You’re telling your friends that your husband is not fulfilling your needs for love and affection, but you find yourself exasperated and rolling your eyes when he opens his mouth to speak to you. (Marriage researcher Dr. Gottman talks about that eye rolling stage as a dreadful sign.) Guess, what? He won’t feel respected and will be virtually unable to provide the love you desire.Honestly, I knew a man who used to yell at his family, “I demand respect!” It’s almost laughable today, but rather sad when you think of it. Of course he didn’t get the respect he wanted. The way to earn respect is to provide for the needs of your family in a loving way. Still, a mature wife goes into marriage not telling her husband to earn her respect, but rather offering it to him because it’s a necessary ingredient in a happy marriage.Respect is a gift that is given not because the husband deserves it, but because the wife has decided she will provide it unconditionally. She will respect him whether he fails or succeeds, when he is unemployed or at the height of a successful career. The wife does not have to endorse all of his behavior, nor does she have to agree with him on every matter. However, she disagrees in a respectful manner (as does he).I’ll bet if you found 10 men who felt truly respected at home, you would find 10 men who are bending over backwards to make their wives happy. If you don’t believe me, do your best to make your man feel respected and see what happens. Don’t be subtle; tell him outright that you respect him and why. Compliment him to other people, especially when he is within earshot. (One of my interviewees says she can always tell the unhappy couples when they go out, because they are tearing one another down. She says she and her husband work to build one another up to others, “because if I don’t, who will?”)Now men, you are not off the hook. Men should make a similar decision upon marrying the woman of their dreams that they will love her and always treat her lovingly as an unconditional gift. Your wife doesn’t earn your love by taking care of your children, cooking a nice meal and making sure the dry cleaning is picked up. If husbands behave faithfully (let’s not look for any positive role models in the news today!) and lovingly, they are sowing the seeds of lasting joy in their relationships. Do you think the men who treat their wives with such care and love benefit from a happier homes and better love lives? Try it out and see.This is not the time for blame. Start with yourself.How does your wife make you feel respected? How does your husband make you feel loved? When you increase the love and respect you give, what happens to your mate?
Every time I hear someone scream, “help save my marriage,” it seems as if they are being robbed or taken advantage of and need the help necessary to get through the situation. It reminds me of a super hero that goes out and risks their life for others except for this case it’s a marriage.If you are really asking help save my marriage then let me advise you that you have come to the right place. There are many places online you could have found but I can promise one thing here, you wont find anything better than this.One thing you need to realize also is that there are thousands of people out there going through the same things you are. When you want help however you must know that you have to stick with it. People always want the quick fix when it comes to things but you will not find it here. You will only fix your problems when you work through them.When I was asking help to save my marriage there were a lot of things going through my mind. I wanted a way to get my problems fixed and more importantly solved. I knew that I had some problems and she had some problems and the only way I was going to fix them was by communication.If you are ready to get those problems solved don’t go anywhere else. All you need is right here and the information you are about to get will definitely aid you in your marriage troubles.To help save my marriage you have to make sure you stick to communication. You always need to communicate with your partner if you want it to work out. It is just the way it is.Also if you need help it is recommended that you seek the help of a professional. It is always easier to have someone help you when you are a professional.So from now on, after you check out the information I have listed here I can almost promise you will never have to make the same ‘ help save my marriage ‘ plea again.
Running your husband away is nothing new for a lot of women. They run their husbands away all the time, usually because they’re trying to be too controlling or are tying to force the man into a position he doesn’t want to be in. Believe it or not most men would love to be married. The thought of having a mate at home who is faithful, loyal, and dedicated to them and only them is something that any man can respect. The problem comes when the man and the woman aren’t on the same page.If you’re a woman constantly worried that your husband will one day leave, here are some no nonsense tips to make sure this doesn’t happen.Stop doing things that irritate himYou probably do things that irritate the hell out of your husband and not even being aware that you’re doing it. It is not your fault though; you probably grew up around a bunch of women who encouraged you to act this way. Acting like a drill sergeant is not attractive; asking your husband to help you clean the house or take care of the kids minutes before the super bowl doesn’t help either; making your man ask permission to spend his money on a toy for himself while you spend freely is also very irritating.Give him a little freedomYou have to give your husband a little freedom if you want him to stay in the relationship. You can get started by letting him hang out at sport bars with his buddies without accusing him of secretly seeing some other women behind your back. You can let him go to sporting events without you if you don’t enjoy sports. A lot of women try to make their man go everywhere with them even if they don’t enjoy it. If he just wants to get away for a while without you then you shouldn’t have a problem with it. As much as he may love you sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.Don’t control him with sexSome married women have this bad habit of trying to use sex to control their husbands. This is a bad thing to do in a relationship where sex is supposed to be mutually desired by both partners. If you want to divorce proof your marriage, don’t use sex as a tool to manipulate your husband. Don’t offer it as a reward for a good deed, only to withdraw if he doesn’t do what you want him to do. Your husband will just see through your tactics, and you’ll just probably end up being enemies than lovers.There really is no room for manipulation in a sincere, loving relationship. Learn to love your husband unconditionally and make him realize that he deserves this love. Divorce is out of the question if the relationship is happy, loving and fulfilling.
Is your relationship breaking down, and are you’re starting to say “I want my husband back”? Before you even realize something is wrong, you may find your marriage nearing its end. If you want your marriage to last and not collapse into a nasty divorce, then it is your duty to try as hard as you can to keep it going. To win husband back, here are 5 steps that you can take to revitalize your marriage:1) Understand this is a team effort:If you want the solution to “I want my husband back”, then you must first understand that this is going to require a team effort – and both of you have a role to play. Your husband needs to put in as much effort as you will to make sure the marriage lasts.2) You are equally responsible:A relationship does not just consist of one person. It took both of you to make it happen in the first place, and so both of you are responsible for making it last. What this means is that it is unfair if you take all the responsibility, or if you pass it all on to your husband. As long as you are playing your part in fixing the marriage, so should he.3) Identify what makes you a good couple:You need to take an objective look at your life and how the marriage fits in with what you had in mind. What is it that brought you two together, and what keeps you determined to make it last? Have a look at what makes your husband special to you? And ask him what attracts him to you. If the passion is still there, “I want my husband back” will be easy since the marriage still fits in with your life’s goals.4) Do what you both love – together:Once you know what attracts you to each other, and what you love to do as a couple, then go out and do those things again. You used to love going for long walks on the beach together – well, go and do that then. Just bring it up subtly over dinner, but let him make the ultimate decision about the activity. If you can make it seem like it was his idea, and then get excited about it – it will be easier figuring out how to get your husband back.5) Let him know your thoughts on the marriage:Once you out together doing the activity you used to love doing as a couple, you will have a chance to talk about the marriage with comfort. Tell him what attracted you to him in the beginning, and how grateful you are for the marriage – and remind him how much you used to have together.It will be so much easier to share your feelings with each other, when you comfortable and happy doing your favorite activity together. Do not be afraid to tell him “I want my husband back”, because he probably feels the same way about you.Finally, what you need to come to terms with is that the marriage may never be what it once was – times change and so people. And even if you do win husband back, the marriage may never be its best. But that does not mean it cannot be better than ever. In fact, by believing that your marriage has not even peaked yet, it will give you the motivation to do your best to make it work. Be convincing as you say “I want my husband back”, and now work at it to make it the best relationship it can possibly be.
It was just one book containing one word; konkatsu. When the tome was first published in 2007 nobody really thought much about it. To this day it has only sold one hundred and seventy thousand copies; a solid number to be sure but hardly in the same league of Harry Potter.Yet the book The Era of Marriage Hunting written by Masahiro Yamada and Touko Shirakawa has had a profound impact on Japanese culture. It’s not that the entire population of that Pacific Island country was sitting around starry eyed waiting for their true love to appear out of thin air but the expression konkatsu meaning literally marriage hunting seemed to light a fire under many Japanese singles.It’s is probably a given that many people around the globe would love to get it on this trend. Nothing wrong with that. Most of us long to find our soulmate and share our lives with them. It is not something fake conjured up by hopeless romantics but a real and definite human need.The key is to make sure that human need is not being governed by1. DesperationIt has been so long since you have been in a relationship or you have waited an interminable amount of time to be in a relationship. Waiting can grate on anyone particularly when you are not in complete control of the circumstances. Desperation can lead to some poor decision making and that includes who you wind up in a relationship with.2. FearNone of us is getting any younger. A few years back when you were young and free age was just a number. Now it is something you are acutely aware of. It’s not that you are afraid of growing older but the thought of spending that time by yourself does get your heart to racing; and not in a good way.3. PressureYou’ve been dating the same person on a regular basis for quite some time. You really like them but neither of you is in a hurry to make it official.Too bad your family does not feel the same way. It’s your life and your relationship but that has not stopped them from being on your back about getting married. You dread going to those family gatherings because you know what’s going to happen. Eventually whatever conversation is going on will turn towards you and your singlehood; or more specifically why is it still going on.And your friends? At times they are worse than your family. They may not be so blatant but the gist is unmistakable.You want to get married but you do not want to get konkatsu about it. Saying you want a marriage on your terms may upset a lot of people but that’s the way it should be. Giving in to desperation fear or outside pressure may make others happy but unfortunately will not do you much good.
As a spider web that is well connected to each other, couples in marriage should work together and be involve in each other. Making it impossible for one to be complete without the other.Work Together as Friends: Do everything you want to do together, work together as friends, no task is tedious if it is done together. Raise your children together, do house work together, let your hands be joined together to fulfill the will of God concerning your home, fight your fighting together and win wars together.Encourage Team Spirit: Let there be team spirit. In a team no single individual is more important than the other. Everybody takes the glory of the team, and failure is faced together. Create mental goal, allow love to reign, build togetherness, cover each other’s weakness, embrace each other’s uniqueness and make things happen for each other.Base your marriage on team spirit and look forward to a workable relationship. Learn to create goals together, communicate adequately about it, and map out strategies on how to make it work and successful. Do not blame each other if you do not get desirable result; rather, sit down together to map out new strategies. Always avoid blaming each other, but praise each other for little success.Brotherliness: Operate like brothers; let the same blood flow in your vein. Brothers do disagree but they do not fight one another, rather they talk and discuss until they agree and find a common ground.Never fight to hurt, never see disagreement as a battle, when you disagree; it should be to find a better way to move the family forward. Never embrace “win-at-all cost” mentality. In fact, there is nothing to win or lose about family disappointments.Let there be brotherliness, love and affection. Let there be bonding and intimacy. Be co-builder, co-labourer, joint-heirs, be one, stand together, fight your battles together and win together. Increase yourself in love, swim together in affection.Relationship that exists between you and your spouse is stronger than brotherhood, while you are joining to your brothers by blood; you are joined to your mate by covenant. Blood may be thicker than water, but covenant is thicker that blood. Hence, guide your marriage jealously.
Every married couple has an opportunity to make the best marriage regardless of the many challenges facing our world today. Many forces tend to work contrary to marriages in today’s world but with full determination, couples can enjoy happy lives with each other. Every couple must resolve to defy the hypes of single hood, clamor for ‘freedom’ and every other lie being peddled against the marriage institution.Divergent opinions from friends, relatives, age mates and acquaintances can easily affect a couple’s view of each other and marriage in general. Many of today’s magazines, newspapers, television programs, talk shows and even internet contents have had and still have a very adverse effect on many marriages. These issues, to a greater extent have also twisted the view of many young men and women towards marriage.All the above withstanding, many couples have continued to draw a lot of joy, fulfillment and contentment from their relationships. This, however, has not come easily. A lot of time and energy have been invested into the marriage to reap the benefits. Let every husband and wife take the initiative to make the best contribution towards their marriages. This is the only sure way of having it safe and secure.If you do not create an atmosphere of security in your marriage, you will always feel insecure. Therefore, invest love to get love, mercy to get mercy, joy to get joy, forgiveness to get forgiveness, peace to get peace and compassion to get compassion. The bible says that whatsoever a man sows the same he shall reap. The same bible also says give and it shall come back to you good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over shall men give unto you.
The Battle of Marathon took place in 490 B.C. during the first Persian invasion. It was fought between the citizens of Athens, Greece, and the Persian forces under the rule of the Persian King Darius. A fabled run of a Greek soldier Pheidippides, a messenger from the Battle of Marathon to Athens, is the basis for the modern marathon, held in cities across the world, with the larger ones having tens of thousands of runners participating.The marathon is a long-distance, foot race on the road with an official distance of 26 7/32 miles, requiring great strength and endurance. A sprint, on the other hand, is a short distance run, requiring a burst of energy, to run at one’s full speed. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.From the website Marathon Rookie, I found the Top 10 Rookie Mistakes for beginner marathon runners, which apply to marriage as well. They are: injury, hydration, lack of knowledge, starting too fast, wrong goal, motivation, lack of belief, lack of support, and underestimate stretching. Let’s look at each one of these for why marriages are often troubled, and fail.1. Injury. A couple comes into marriage, bringing emotional and spiritual baggage, and often many wounds. MarathonRookie.com says that many beginner runners “notice soreness in their shins or knees and ignore it. They keep running and BAM, it hits them. They’re done. Game Over. Be aware of the warning signs and how to treat them.”If one person in the marriage is injured, then the marriage’s health will be affected as well. We need to realize that it is only God who can heal us and make us whole – not our spouse. Men love to fix things, but they can’t fix their wives. Vice versa for wives trying to change, fix, or improve their husbands.Jesus is the healer of wounded hearts. Sometimes healing from deep hurts such as parental rejection, abandonment, childhood abuse, dysfunctional relationships in adulthood, abortion, drug, alcohol, or pornography and gambling addictions may require professional counseling, spiritual deliverance, and/or pastoral accountability.Ultimately as we seek God’s face, study His word, and obey Him, we will receive our healing. Psalm 107:20 says, “He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.”2. Hydration. MarathonRookie.com says that runners get dehydrated because they underestimate how much water their bodies need during training. Married couples don’t realize how much they need Jesus’ “living waters” each day for their marriage to last. In John 4:10 (NKJV), Jesus said to the Samaritan woman at the well, “Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”3. Lack of knowledge. When you’re dating, let’s face it, your fiance’ doesn’t realize what he’s really getting himself into! He doesn’t know that you’re a clean-freak, you hate to cook, and you aren’t a morning person. After all, you go out on weekend dates to the Japanese or Italian restaurant, where they cook the delicious food, wash the dishes, and after your talks and snuggles til midnight at his house, you go home and crash – and sleep in the next morning!Couples may see some things that concern them while they date, but they often don’t really see with their “love blinders” on. They’re too focused on how wonderful this person is, and how they’re going to be happy for the rest of their lives. A longer dating period, asking probing questions, and paying attention to little details, will help you to get to know your fiance better – and you will have less unpleasant “surprises,” such as him being a “messy” or her having a new shoes addiction – after saying “I do.”4. Starting too fast. MarathonRookie.com says that beginner runners try to run more miles than the scheduled training. “If you feel really strong when you begin training and want to run more, PLEASE resist the temptation. By going the extra mile, you are substantially increasing the likelihood of injury.”Going too fast in a relationship can increase your chances of being hurt, too. This is especially true in a relationship where there’s lots of intense chemistry. Lust will not see you through the years; commitment and love will! Take it slow, and get to know this person before the wedding day!5. Wrong training program. In Luke 6:47-49 (NKJV), the story of the man building his house on the foundation of the rock, and it standing in the fierce storm is a perfect picture of a good marriage that will last. Married couples will face many storms through the years, and having their marriage built on the principles of God’s word is what will get them through these storms.Some couples had the wrong “training program,” in that they were never taught the truth of God’s word, and don’t have a relationship with Jesus Christ. MarathonRunner.com says some runners choose a program that is more difficult than they can handle, and they wind up quitting. Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Apart from Me you can do nothing.” We need God’s help with our marriage problems. All we have to do is come to Him in humble faith, and He will give us all we need.6. Wrong goal. Some runners focus on finishing the marathon quickly. This is the wrong goal, and increases the chances of injury and not finishing at all. The goal of the marathon for a beginner should be just to finish. This should be our goal in marriage, too, doing all we can to prevent divorce. It takes long-term love, mutual honor, commitment, affection, and open and honest communication to make marriage work over the long haul. A great sense of humor helps, too!Some people go into marriage with a goal of the other person making them happy, and completing them. Only God can fill us up and complete us. We need to lay aside unreasonable expectations of our husband or wife, and not put that kind of pressure on them.We may also have other goals that are quite selfish in nature, such as our own person career or business success, to the detriment of the marriage and family – ambitiously spending all our time on personal projects to get “ahead,” while neglecting the very ones we love. Balance is the key. Time with our husband or wife lets them know we love them, and enjoy them.7. Motivation. Just as in a run when there’s bad weather, an injury, illness, or work that can keep him from a run, and cause him to lose his motivation to continue, there are problems that occur in marriage which causes a husband or a wife to lose their motivation to continue the marriage. Financial stresses, the demands of children, relatives and friends who intrude, pressures at work, a nagging spouse, infidelity or pornography, addictions, fatigue, boredom can all play a part in one of the partners wanting to bail out of the marriage. Keep your eye on the goal; to finish strong. Never give up!8. Lack of belief. In Mark 6: 5-6, unbelief hindered the purposes of God. People often give up far too easily and quickly today, and file for divorce. “Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6 And He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went about the villages in a circuit, teaching.”MarathonRookie.Com says that beginner runners begin training and have a hard time finishing their first five-mile run. After that, they give up, thinking they could never do a marathon. “But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26, NKJV) We need to have faith and believe that God will heal our marriages.9. Lack of support. The world is far too eager to tell you that marriage is too hard, and it’s just much better (for your sake, for your children’s sake, for your career’s sake, for your sanity’s or checking account’s sake) to get a divorce. Many married couples do not get the support they need to help their marriages succeed from family, friends, co-workers, and even professional counselors and spiritual advisors.If you are counseling with a professional counselor who tells you to divorce your spouse for any reason other than unfaithfulness, spouse or child abuse or neglect, then RUN! Sometimes a couple may need to draw boundaries with people who are critical of their marriage, or are giving one or both of them ungodly advice. You might even have to cut off contact with them for a season, or permanently. Your marriage is your most important priority, under God.As the marriage goes, the family goes. As the family goes, the community goes. As the community goes, the state goes. As the state goes, the nation goes. As the nation goes, the world goes! Successful marriages have far-reaching consequences!God told Abraham that he and his descendants would be blessed forever, to all future generations! Because of Abraham’s and Sarah’s faith in and obedience to God, and due to their committed marriage, their children and all future generations were blessed!Don’t you think their marriage might have been strained just a little when Abraham slept with Sarah’s maid, and she became pregnant with Ishmael, after Sarah had years of barrenness? Yet Sarah stayed, despite her great pain and emptiness…and God rewarded her with her own baby boy, Isaac, which means “laughter.”10. Stretching. Beginner runners often underestimate the importance of stretching, which gives them less soreness, puts them at less risk for injury, and gives them greater flexibility and a longer stride. Stretch out your arms to Jesus and to your husband or wife. Go all out in your love and devotion. Bend, cooperate, be understanding, show mercy and forgiveness. This will help your marriage to last.Don’t be so rigid and set in your ways, insisting that you are right all the time, that you can’t meet your spouse half-way or more. Lay your life down for the sake of your marriage. Through the years of your marriage, you will learn that “stretching” yourself in faith and love will enhance your marriage relationship, and create greater tenderness, affection, respect, and passion in your marriage.A sprint may get you to the finish line faster, but a marathon has incredible awards. Go for the gold in marriage. Do the marathon, and win!”Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or gazelle – when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.” – Unknown
As if it isn’t enough that soldiers risk their lives from our country, they also risk their marriages due to long separations and the stress that accompanies active military service. I’ve had requests from some service members for tips on keeping the home fires burning, as well as how to effectively reunite the family after a tour of duty. Thankfully, two in-depth interviews with exemplary military families helped shed some light on this topic. Any families enduring a long separation could use some of these tips.Before the soldier leaves:* Enlist the help of family, friends, church members and neighbors to help support the family while the soldier is away. Make a list of concrete ways your family will need help, from lawn or home maintenance to babysitting or grocery shopping.* The spouse at home may need to learn to accept help, even when he or she hasn’t in the past. It helps to focus on the support and love rather on the negative circumstances of being separated from the spouse.* Invite letters, care packages and prayers and provide simple guidelines that would be helpful for the soldier or unit.* Give the immediate family plenty of alone time prior to the deployment.While the soldier is away:* Consider a blog to help keep family and friends updated on your own schedule. This prevents having to repeat updates on the soldier or unit (for the soldier and spouse at home) and keeps the soldier updated on the family.* Remember phone calls can be inconvenient for one or both spouses. Plan a convenient time if phone calls are important.* Play upbeat, fun music to keep the house from getting somber. Plan fun activities with friends or family.* Use videoconferencing only if it makes sense for your family. For some spouses it is too painful. For young children, they may not understand why mommy or daddy is on the screen, but they can’t touch them.* Focus on the positive aspects of your spouse and your life. Keep negative news at bay by turning off the news and keeping TVs out of the bedrooms.* Keep precious reminders of loved ones close at hand-a special letter, a photo of each family member, perhaps a special piece of jewelry or memento.* The traveling spouse may still be able to handle certain home responsibilities, such as banking, with online services.* Young children who don’t have a concrete understanding of time could make a paper chain with a link for each day the soldier will be away. Invite them to send pictures and letters to their absent parent.* Reach out to support groups or other spouses in similar circumstances.When the soldier returns:* Plan a welcome-home celebration to thank everyone who has offered support and to honor the soldier for his or her service.* Be patient. Particularly when the soldier has been gone for a lengthy tour, the family has often adapted to his or her absence, and the soldier may no longer feel as if he or she fits in as before. The at-home spouse became the leader and took the role of two parents, so time to assimilate is needed. Give the immediate family space and time to sort this out. Children may also need time to sort through their emotions.* Be sensitive to soldier’s sleep needs. The soldier has just returned from a different world and may be battling anxiety, nightmares, difficult sleep patterns or may awaken disoriented after having just returned.* Express your gratitude and praise to the spouse who cared for the family as well as to the soldier who performed in the field.* Stress can often bring a couple closer together. Use the experience as a catalyst for recognizing and appreciating what is truly important to you both.