Marriage Problems vary. But their causes tend to have similar patterns. And their solutions tend to have similar patterns.Understand the principles at work behind the problems and their solutions, and you’ll quickly find yourself a happy husband, in a happy marriage, with a happy wife eager to please you.Let’s get straight into them:Step 1: Take Charge Of Your Relationship.What does that mean? It means that solving your marriage problems is in your hands. No one else’s. Not your wife’s. Not a friend’s. Not a counselor’s.Her end of the relationship is merely a reaction to you. If you end up always reacting to her, then you’ll end up with a cycle of marriage problems that you can’t seem to break out of.So, instead of leaving your relationship to itself, or leaving it to your wife, take charge of it!If your problems are about how she is treating you, recognize that she is merely reacting to how you are. If you are different, her response will be different.Let me repeat that for you, because everything builds on that point: If you are different, her response will be different.So don’t blame her. You may think she’s being unfair. “How could she be that way?!” Well… because she’s responding to how you are with her right now.So start acting as if your relationship is 100% in your hands.Step 2: Appreciate That Marriage Problems Are Typically Emotional.Now that you’re ready to take charge of your relationship and take responsibility for it, you need to recognize why you have marriage problems.Up to this point, you’ve failed to spark the right emotions in her.That’s the only reason you’ve lost her.Your problems are due to emotional reasons and not logical or moral reasons. They may be clothed in logical or moral reasons, but those aren’t the real reasons. Those are merely her rationalizing her emotions. Understand that.If you spark in her the right emotions, you will find her rationalizing illogical and even immoral behavior. To justify, follow her emotions. Simple.Warning: Once you understand how to spark her emotions, you will find you have a lot of influence over her. So use it with care! As they say, with great power, comes great responsibility.When sparking her emotions, you need to be a man about it, and take care of your woman. Use your influence over her with care, and she will love you and thank you forever.What does that mean on a practical level?It means a few things:Just as your marriage problems are because you pressed the wrong emotional buttons, the solution is to press the right emotional buttons. It’s that simple. That’s the good news.It also means that you need to stop trying to convince her with rational and moral arguments.”Convince” her with emotional arguments.What do I mean by “convince” her with emotional arguments? I mean influence her by affecting her emotions, by inspiring in her emotions of attraction, rather than emotions of repulsion.Because that’s all that has happened: she has responded with repulsion to how you are… but she can just as easily respond to how you are with attraction.This brings me to the third step…Step 3: Press The Right Emotional Buttons To Create Attraction.It’s simple: if you make your wife more attracted to you, you will find that most of your marriage problems will take care of themselves.Some Common Marriage Problems:”My wife doesn’t listen to me.”"My marriage feels flat.”"My wife doesn’t respect me.”"My wife isn’t interested in sex.”And so on.The Real Problem is: You’re missing one or more of the foundations of attraction. If you make her attracted to you, you will find her far more attentive, exciting, playful, radiant, respectful, cheerful (giggly, in fact), seductive, and eager to please you.So make sure you maintain the foundations of attraction at all times. If you’re yet to learn the foundations of magnetic attraction, then keep reading the articles on this site.
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Let’s face the fact, not every husband has the ability, time or focus to write romantic love letters that stir the emotions of their wife. To suggest that everyone can be a master of the subtle nuances of romance is to suggest that everyone could be a nuclear physicist. So if you are not a physicist – read on, because there is hope for the romantically challenged. And if you are a physicist, you are probably a bit of a geek – so there is help you as well!All too often it is said, “I wish you would be more romantic.” If you are taking the time to read this and haven’t heard this, it is likely that your wife is saying to her friends in confidence, “I wish my husband was more romantic.”All this ‘wishing’ by women is based on the mistaken belief that somewhere deep inside every husband is this incredible romantic inner-child fighting to be set free. In reality, maybe, just maybe, the genetic difference between the sexes not only affects the way we physically look on the outside – it also permanently influences the way we relate to the world from within. Or possibly, how differently young boys and girls are raised forever affects the how adults interact with each other. Next time these women set out on a journey to find this elusive romantic inner child hiding in their husband, they should first locate their own inner computer technician or mechanic.There is absolutely no intention to mock one gender or the other; or to apply generalizations to individuals. Each gender and each person has their own set of strength and weaknesses. The critical element to creating a strong vibrant marriage, where each partner feels fulfilled, is to focus on the positive strengths while minimizing (or eliminating) the effects of a person’s weaknesses.Archimedes said, “Give me a lever long enough, a place to stand and I can move the world.” Being romantic is no different. Give a man a plan of action (reminders), the right tools (advice and suggestions) and he can make a woman’s heart flutter. The good news is that any man can be a knight in shining armor if put into the right situation.By using the interactive capabilities of the internet, there is hope for the romantically challenged husband, his wife and their marriage. To create incredible romance for your wife, you need only take advantage of resources available on a well designed marriage building website. While some of the online services are basic, others have tremendous capabilities to improve the romantic potential, increase you wife’s confidence in the relationship and add spice to the marriage. In addition to romantic suggestions, tips and ideas, full featured sites will have a reminder service that you can program with important anniversaries and birthdays. A few even provide romantic letter and poem templates that you copy and quickly personalize for your situation. Do a quick search for “Romantic Outsourcing” to see what is available to you and what best fits your needs.An important aspect to maintaining the romance in your marriage is by meeting the needs of your spouse – in the way she wants her needs to be met. Every one is different and an individual’s needs change over time. Be flexible and make sure to keep the romance fresh with new ideas. Here are some suggestions:
Just because you enjoy practical gifts, like a table saw, doesn’t mean your wife is the same. Tailor your romantic exploits to her needs.
Few people would enjoy chocolate cake every night. At some point the enjoyment wears off. Mix it up and keep it fresh.
Romance is not necessarily about spending money, it is about making an emotional connection.
Personalize your romantic gestures. Generic off-the-shelf greeting cards just do not have much of an impact.
If what you are doing is not working – do something else. Every woman has a romantic button – you just have to figure out how to push it.
At sometime in the past a combination of romantic gestures worked to capture your wife’s imagination. How do we know this to be true? She married you! It is just a matter of making that connection again.
You may have seen a lot of couples go into divorce and this might leave you wondering what exactly are the keys to a happy marriage. There may not be a single formula to make marriage successful, but you can do many ways to make your marriage work. If you are looking for ideas to maintain the life in your relationship with your spouse, here are some tips and ideas that could be your keys to a happy marriage. - Communication. Communication most probably plays the biggest role in marriages and one of the most important keys to a happy marriage. Being able to talk to your spouse in about just anything is one good thing in marriage. Stay connected. A simple text message or a simple call would do when you are out working.- Accept your differences. Realize that no matter how compatible you are with your spouse, there are always differences that will arise.- Look at what is best with your spouse, not into the negative qualities you discover about him. You have to understand that your spouse has negative and positive qualities, and you have to learn to appreciate what is good about your partner. - Forget about changing the other person. Trying to change the person to fit to your standards will not help you achieve anything in marriage.- Add variety to your daily life. Giving your partner a little surprise every now and then is also helpful in eliminating monotony in the relationship. - Keep in mind that loving is giving. Do not always expect your spouse to do things for you, act the way you want them to be and give you all your desires. Instead, think of what you can do to him and what can make your spouse happy. Learn to give more than what your spouse gives you. - Respect your spouse. Marrying someone does not mean owning her or him. Respect your partner’s personal rights and be kind.- Watch your thoughts as your thoughts can become your actions.- Plan your finances together. Especially if it involves major decisions regarding the finances, always consult your partner. - Give trust. Don’t keep secrets from your spouse. - Avoid criticism and nagging. Compliment if necessary. If there is something that you think that needs correcting, do it lovingly and do things positively as possible.- Encourage one another. Giving each other support is one thing that spouses should do to each other rather than finding faults in each other.- Keep the passion alive. Sex is an essential part of marriage. Be open when it comes to sexual matters. Add variety and enjoy the lovemaking.- Have fun together. Marriage can become so boring if you can’t even watch television together with your spouse or you haven’t had a good laugh together. Find something that can both amuse you and your partner. Do something fun together. - Do not stop telling your partner you love him or her. This may be as simple as it seems but it is one of the most important keys to a happy marriage.
What is the foundation of your marriage? What is the one thing that you center everything else on? Is it happiness? Compatibility? Good Times? All of those things are important in a marriage, but I can guarantee you that none of them will keep your marriage together.Happy times come and go. This is a guarantee. Feelings come and go and often times we don’t have control over them. Same with compatibility. Conflicts are going to happen, even in the best of relationships. It’s how you handle the incompatibility that is going to make the difference. The one thing that you can control in all of this is you. You made a promise when you got married, and you can keep that promise. Commitment is the foundation you need to build everything else from.Think about your wedding vows. When you said them, you most likely promised to stay together in sickness and health, in good times and bad, in prosperity etc…you made a commitment that covered pretty much all the ups and downs that life would throw your way. So what happened to that promise? If you are even considering a divorce, I want you to take a minute to just be still, and remember those vows. Remember them. They meant something to you then, and they should still mean something now.Those wedding promises were your commitment to your marriage for life. Commitment is what will hold your marriage together. It is the key to making your relationship last, and avoid divorce. Commitment means you aren’t going to run when the troubles get too hard. Quite the contrary. Instead, it means you are dedicated to doing whatever it takes to work through them. It means you are willing to make changes in yourself, your attitude, your perspective and your actions, to save your marriage. It means you are devoted to your promises. You can do this.Once you and your spouse can lay this foundation, so many more things will fall into place. A committed couple doesn’t thing about divorce, talk about divorce or even threaten it. Why? Because it simply isn’t an option. Hence, once you know that it isn’t a possibility, a whole new range of options will open up before the two of you….options to find a way to make things work; to get the help you need. Where there is a will, and a commitment, there is a way. You CAN save your marriage.
“Any fool can have a trophy wife; it takes a real man to have a trophy marriage.” -Diane SolleeYou know you’re married to your best friend when you overhear other friends remarking about how good your marriage really is. My wife and I have had that experience, and I can tell you it’s truly gratifying. It’s even more so when we hear others speak in envy of what we have, and wish they had it in their own relationship. We’ve taken a bit of good-natured ribbing about the verbiage we use, how we’re ‘married best friends’, but we don’t mind. We write it off to simple jealousy, and go on. It’s just true; we are married best friends, and we believe that’s what every married couple ought to be able to say.The following is a list of insights, a checklist, if you will, that you may use to determine if you might perhaps be married to your best friend. Bear in mind that describing yourselves this way may cause people to look at you funny, but that’s the price you have to pay, and believe us it’s worth it.You may be married to your best friend if they’re the first person you think of with any kind of news–good, bad, worse, indifferent. You can’t wait to pick up the phone, text them, e-mail, something to let them know what you found out, and to share it with them. Everyone else comes later.You may be married best friends if their name pops up in any discussion of any issue that is in any way important: career, kids, vehicles, bills, the house, pets, meal planning, friends, you get the idea. Talking about a hangnail may seem downright silly, but guess who you tell? That’s right, your best pal, and how convenient if it’s your spouse?You may be married best friends if you’d rather go to Target with them than to Paris with anyone else. That may seem preposterous, but my wife and I can say that, and we mean it. I’d love to see Paris. I intend to see Paris someday. Go without her? No way.So how does the average all American married couple attain the exalted status of married best friends? It might sound a bit disingenuous, but I’d hope you married that person right out of the gate. We don’t believe for one second that anyone, regardless of the reason they married in the first place doesn’t feel at some level that they’re with the person they should be with, the person they married. It may depend on your definition of friendship, but if so, here’s the continuing list. See how it matches up with your definition.You might be married best friends if you think this discussion is downright silly and totally unnecessary. Why is that? We’ve also had people tell us, after looking through our website, that they don’t need what we’re offering; that they already have it, so they’re just fine, thank you ever so much.Here’s what we tell them: We’re extremely happy for you. We feel like everyone should have a marriage based on friendship, and when we identify people who have that, we’re grateful for it.You may be married to your best friend if, when you turn in for the night, pull the bedroom door shut, and huddle under the covers, there’s simply no place on earth you’d rather be than right there, holding that beloved person in your arms–I’m going to get mushy here, just a warning–feeling their soft, comfortable body next to yours, thinking that you are in fact the richest person in the whole world. You might be married to your best friend if you know they feel the same way.Okay, so how do you maintain that, that’s the real question. If we said it was easy you’d know we were either ’round the bend or newlyweds, or both–the two conditions are mutually exclusive–so here’s the deal. Here are a number of ways to keep that friendship from ebbing, and your marriage alive and friendly.This one is going to seem terribly naive, but it truly is the simple stuff, kind of like what your mother told you. Be nice. It really works. Even when you feel awful, or have an issue, you’re tired, or stressed, make an effort to be gentle with each other. Consider your marriage a safe harbor where your mate really wants to be. Take a breath, bite your tongue if need be, count to ten–okay one hundred, and go easy even when it’s not exactly how you feel. My wife and I use this little acronym: ACK, always choose kind.About that ‘issue’, here’s how to tell when to hold ‘em, and when to fold ‘em. Whomever feels most passionately about it wins. It’s a rare issue about which you can’t unanimously agree that one of you simply cares more, or more likely the case, one of you cares less. Something else we use is the win-win, as opposed to the zero-sum: Winning an argument doesn’t mean the other loses. It just means one felt more strongly about that particular issue. End of discussion. Have you ever come away from a dustup feeling a bit silly about how much heat and how little light there was at the end? You can agree to disagree, and that’s the friendliest way to go.Kids. Wow, how much energy, time, resources do we put into our children? And guess what? They leave. Too many of us ignore the fact that kids are truly secondary to a marriage. That may seem like an outrageous statement. But imagine how the kids would feel about it if they knew all your attention to them could lead to your own separation? Our guess is that, given almost any level of understanding, the kids themselves would opt for the two of you hanging in there as a unit.Here’s a typical phone interchange between married people: “Hello, hey did you remember to pick up the laundry at the dry cleaners? Great, and how about the tickets to the..? Got them? Great, then have you..?” See what’s wrong here?How about this instead: “Hello, have I told you lately that I really love you, and that you’re the most beautiful person I know? I haven’t? Shame on me. Hey, while I have you, did you remember to..?” Different? Sure is. Silly and inane? Possibly, but take the chance. We need to be more loving, affectionate, and even silly with each other. Hey, it’s what best friends do. Be kind; be affectionate; be more loving and considerate. It really is pretty easy.
In case your spouse has proceeded to start legal proceedings to end the marriage, there is very little you can do about it, but in case you still have time to make your marriage take a positive U-turn, you could still find ways to save your marriage, before it gets too late.As strange as it may sound, the starting point of salvaging the situation to save your marriage, is you. This is not the time to blame or point fingers at your spouse for all the misgivings and mistakes done. In stead, take a close look at your self and try to locate which are the areas which could have contributed to the break up. In other words, it is time to be a good listener and hear what your spouse has to say. Remember, to save your marriage, both of you have to be equally serious about the issue – it can never work one way.If you look closely, there have to be earlier situations where your spouse has often complained about your attitude or behavior. It is also a fact that you have not paid much attention to these complaints and you took your spouse for granted. Though this is a common mistake we all make, it still does not justify what we do. If only we were a bit more careful and sensitive about such complaints, perhaps a situation would not arise where you are desperate to save your marriage. In any case, it is now the time to revisit those times, remember your hurtful or insensitive behavior which upset your spouse and take conscious steps to correct them on a war footing. To save your marriage, making empty promises worsens matters and spoils every chance to recover what is lost. Remember the mind takes a severe beating in a marital break up and to save your marriage, you might have to walk a long distance before the whole situation gets back to normal.Changing any old habit is tough. But if your primary aim in life at this point in time is to save your marriage, then you have to give it all you have got to make things different. Of course, the process is slow and your spouse might not even notice your efforts initially. But if the feeling of love and bonding between the two of you is strong and sincere enough, with time, your spouse would surely notice a changed and improved you. so long as you do not harbor any negative feelings about your spouse and make sincere and positive changes in your attitude and behavior, chances are that you can make your marriage take a U-turn and ultimately save your marriage.Many may not agree, but marriage is more than physical attraction and excitement. To build a strong bond, it takes years and continuous effort from both the partners. Cracks in a marriage is inevitable but the sooner you notice them, the better are your chances to save your marriage.
Marriage advice for men – There’s a saying that says ‘men are from mars, women are from Venus’. All too often I see marriage advice that talks to men and women the same. It is a proven fact that men and women don’t see things the same way. If your marriage is a little shaky right now, here are some tips that will help you to show your wife that you really do still love her, and that you want to save your marriage.I believe that society wrongs men right from the start. As a boy, you were probably taught that you weren’t supposed to cry, that you weren’t supposed to show emotions. These are signs of weakness. The worst saying I think I’ve ever heard is ‘man up, and get over it’. This is especially true for young boys who get hurt – either physically or emotionally. This is NOT a sign of weakness! When, as a man, you are able to show your true feelings, you are saying that you are strong and confident.The best marriage advice for men that I can give is to tell you that, in order to save your marriage, you HAVE to try your very best to show your emotions! I imagine it will be hard, but I really do hope that you will find a way to do that in this article.Words mean one thing to women, but actions dig deeper. Instead of saying ‘I love you’ to your wife, do something nice for her. Something as simple as tidying up a little around the house shows her that you know she works hard for the family. It shows her that you appreciate her and what she does. As a wife myself, I dealt with this many times. At some points, I often wondered why I was here in the first place. I thought I was just here so he didn’t have to do anything except go to work. I was here to keep the house, raise the kids, etc. He never understood how I felt. I’ll give you a true example. On father’s day of this year, I spent all weekend cleaning, doing laundry, shopping for gifts for him, etc. On father’s day, I stood in the kitchen for hours, making him his favorite dinner. I got the kids together, and we sat down for what was supposed to be a family dinner. WELL…. my husband was playing video games, and he’d run to the table once in a while and shovel a bite into his mouth, then go back to his game. I was devastated! He just couldn’t understand why I was so upset. He told me, I ate it, didn’t I? It was good, thank you. Those words meant absolutely nothing no me! Later, after I got myself in control again, I told him – ‘how would YOU feel if this were turned around? How would YOU feel if YOU were the one working your butt off to make ME happy, and I sat there and played a game?’ The look on his face told me exactly what I needed to know – he never had a clue as to why I was so upset. He honestly didn’t know. He said to me ‘ I’m sorry, I never thought of it that way.’From that point on, I knew that it’s not that my husband didn’t love me, it was that he was raised different than me. Society makes women wear their heart on their sleeve, and makes men keep everything bottled up. It’s not anyone’s fault, but you are going to HAVE to try and do things a little differently.Take a lesson from someone who knows. Words do mean something, but there comes a time when words are just words. When you take action, and SHOW your wife that you DO appreciate her, and that you DO love her and want her in your life, you will see a difference in your marriage. The tension will disappear, and the two of you will develop a bond that you’ve probably never had before.Take the chance – don’t live like society wants you to, live like your WIFE wants you to. Like she NEEDS you to. Your marriage will thank you for it!The more you do these little things, you will see your marriage improving. Your wife will be happier, because she realizes that you DO still love her, and you will be happier, because your marriage will become stronger.
The best advice for marriage success isn’t about remembering special occasions or giving gifts. It isn’t just spending quality time and being attentive during conversations. It’s all about the relationship and building relationship skills.When beginning a new relationship very little is known about your partner in the grand scheme of things. Your relationship is in its infancy and it will take some time to discover all the accumulated events that have made your partner who they are.This is where relationship skills come in to play. I recently read in a column the story a man who had been married for 35 years expressing that once he retired he and his wife no longer liked each other and they were miserable together. What could have suddenly gone wrong after all these years?In this case it seems that their longevity has worked against them. Their relationship had developed adjacent to each other not with each other. They learned to exist adjacent to each other but not with each other. Over all those years they drifted separately and shared no commonality in their marriage. Separate careers and interests, largely separate lives.Once together they had never developed their relationship or the skills to allow it to thrive. They probably never discussed their dreams of what their life together would someday look like. They most likely didn’t even realize who each other had become.A positive long term relationship must develop these skills to remain vibrant and healthy. Unfortunately for this couple time has taken it’s toll and there was a vast crevasse between them. There is still hope for them but they must work quickly if even one of them has any hope of resurrecting what once was.It has taken both of their efforts to get where they are. Fortunately it only requires one person taking the initiative to make positive changes can make the difference in a relationship. With the proper assistance they will be on their way quickly to restoring their relationship.Does their story sound similar? How do your relationship skills measure up? Are you actively building relationship skills for a better marriage?
The unfortunate direction that many marriages take soon after taking the nuptial vows make many people dread walking down the aisle. Although you will certainly experience some changes in your marriage as time goes by, this does not necessarily mean that it should be headed for the divorce courts. When the love your husband feels for you begins to wane, there are some tips that will help you to make him happy once more. The following romantic tips will help you re-awaken the passion in your marriage so that you can make your husband happy once more.Arrange for a date with your husbandMany people take dating for granted once they have settled into a life of marriage. However, if you would like to maintain a sense of newness in your marriage, you should consider having even some date nights with your husband, which will help you to spend quality time together.You should not let your responsibilities weigh you down. Have some fun with your husband if you want him to be really happy. While finances may be tight, and you may think that the money you will spend on your date should rather be used in taking care of the kids, you should not neglect investing in your marriage. The kids won’t lead a good life anyway if your relationship falls apart, or if it is devoid of happiness.Planning for your special time together does not necessarily have to be expensive. For example, you may have a picnic and then take a romantic walk. It is the quality of time you spend together that really matters. This is something you should strive to have every week at least once.Take care of yourselfYou can easily fall into the routine of taking care of your family to such an extent that you begin to neglect yourself. For instance, you may be spending your resources in buying clothes for your kids without considering your own outfit. However, if you are interested in having a happy husband, you should ensure that you take care of yourself as well.Try to think of how you used to look at the earlier times, when your husband was still crazy about you. Dress in the way you know he really likes, and don’t forget your hair in the process. Cut out the best appearance just for him. However, taking care of yourself does not just involve your physical appearance. Your attitude plays a very important part as well. Are you happy yourself? This includes being happy with yourself.If you let your husband be unhappy for long, he may even start considering filing for a divorce. Yet it is relatively easy to have a happy husband.