Your marriage is falling apart, and you are completely lost. Marital problems are quite stressful, and are difficult to handle. When you feel as if you are losing the love of your life, you will do anything to keep them, if you only knew how. Here are five tips that will help you to start to save your marriage from divorce.#1: What are the Problems?First you must figure out exactly what the problems are. You simply cannot fix anything if you don’t know what to fix! Once you understand what the problem is, you will be able to learn how to deal with the situation correctly.#2: Control Your EmotionsWhen a marriage is in crisis, the last thing you want to do is add to it by behaving irrational. Desperation and panic cause us to do things we normally would not do. When trying to save your marriage, you HAVE to remain calm. This is the only way you will be able to think clearly enough to get the situation under control.#3: CommunicateYou both have to learn to communicate with each other, and do it effectively. You must not only listen to each other, but you must also understand what the other person is saying. When you talk to each other about your problems, it eliminates any misunderstandings that may hinder your chances of saving your marriage.#4: Seek advice from family and friendsDepending on how bad your problems are at the moment, you may want to consider asking advice from an outside source. Start by asking family and friends. Since they are close to the situation, they may see things differently than you do. They may give you some suggestions for what they see is happening to your marriage, and they can offer advice on how they think you could fix it. You have to be careful, though, when taking advice for fixing your relationship from family and friends. While their heart is in the right place, they may unintentionally offer the wrong advice, thus causing more marital conflict.#5: Seek Professional HelpIf you still can’t find a solution to your marital problems, you may want to look into seeking professional help. This help is available in many forms, from marriage counsellors to ebooks, available online, written by professionals to help couples save their marriage.
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Learning techniques to improve your marriage may the only way to successfully get it back on the right track. You have to do the work and take responsibility for saving your marriage. Your efforts will determine whether your it survives or if you end up in divorce court. Without your efforts – your marriage will fail. Without a doubt.There are a lot of great books out there on marriage and other topics but I don’t believe anyone ever accomplished anything great just be reading a book. All victories are the result of hard work. Your hard work! A personal investment and dedication are necessary elements for achieving success. Those with the most to gain often work the hardest.If you’re determined to succeed in your marriage, willing to do the hard work, contribute to open and honest discussions, you will be successful.Exploring new ways to learn about your spouse is a wonderful start. This is not a one time project! You must continue to learn throughout the entire life of your marriage. The work must continue.Finding new ways to love your spouse will open so many wonderful doors for the both of you! Agreeing to continue growing is essential. Over time these behaviors can become habits but should never stop. If you feel that you’re at a point in your marriage in which you can’t learn anything new about your spouse, you’re wrong. There is much more to learn and so many ways to grow together. Learning a few simple tools can help you in this process.In my personal experience, it seemed easier to just stop trying rather than working at the relationship. As time went on and we drifted farther apart, it just didn’t feel that it was worth it to “do the hard work”.There are “marriage secrets” that we can use to draw us closer to together. I believe the key is to begin repairing the relationship sooner rather than later.
If you are facing a few bumps in your marriage then now is the time to stay strong instead of tucking your tail and running. All of us are created differently, and this fact alone will lead to some disagreements in your marriage. If it hasn’t happened yet it will eventually. Now this is not to say that the disagreement will be something so damaging you can’t recover from it. Now is the time to seek out some marriage help though and learn how to react to your situation. How we decide to handle life’s little bumps makes all the difference between many years of marriage or a very short term, bitter marriage. Hopefully the person you are married to is the one you planned on spending eternity with, and if that is so, then now is the time to seek the marriage help you deserve. Marriage is the one dream that is easily attainable as long as you are willing to work to improve yourself and the relationship.You deserve to have some help because you chose to take part in one of the most beautiful unions on earth called marriage. just because you are married now, doesn’t mean you don’t still need a support team around you. You may need one now more than ever, because there will still be things that you just can’t discuss with your spouse. Seek out a close friend and sit and talk with them for awhile. Sometimes all you need to do is just talk to someone, and you will actually come up with your own answers as to how to get past an indifference with your spouse. Sometimes believe it or not, a single friend can help you more. This is because a single friend will speak from the heart on what they are wanting in a relationship, therefore sometimes giving you a different option on marriage help.Seek out some good books on dating, sometimes you have to get back to basics so to speak. Dating books may make you realize some things that are missing from your marriage. Just because you are married now, doesn’t mean you can’t still date your spouse. Set up a date night,whether it be a night out, or just a time together at home just you and your spouse. Remember how you romanced your spouse in the beginning and get back to that, most times it’s the little things that can give you all the marriage help you need.
Have you ever been so fed up that you have searched the phone book for a divorce lawyer? If it’s gotten to this point then I take it your out of fresh ideas to save your marriage. You have probably tried everything from screaming the house down at each other to giving your partner the silent treatment.There is a strong possibility that by now you have already gone through couple’s therapy or even a long painful session with a psychic. However after all of this you may have come to realise that nothing has changed, or is any different in your relationship. The marriage you are in is just as useless and as hopeless as it was this time last year.Your marriage is going now where fast and the truth of the matter is that you still want it to work. So the question you then ask yourself is – “Can my marriage be saved?”The “experts” tend to say that most marriages fail due to both partners having too many conflicting ideas and believes. This tends to make both of you feel as though your spouse is not a good friend. But before you head off and write a goodbye message or call that divorce lawyer, I want you to stop and consider if you could build a friendship with your partner.Think about the ways that you could gradually build common ground between you and your spouse. Ask yourself the question – is it possible to create new areas which you both are interested in?First of all stop trying to focus only on what isn’t working, and you may find yourself not thinking of how you ended up marrying your own worst enemy.To find interests for you both you need to first start small and keep on building on them.If you and your husband/wife have no friendship to start with then you can’t possibly build a marriage.Let’s say your husband enjoys golf and you can’t stand it, you could both meet half way and play mini golf. This will get you both together sharing a common interest.You need to avoid those old debated topics which will cause you both to scream at each other or fight for days on end – you know what they are so just avoid them. Learning how to build a lasting friendship with your partner means taking control and allowing change. You don’t want to allow other issues or people to degrade your fundamental friendship.A close friend of mine, Amanda had her first marriage fail and she feels terrible about this. Not only did her marriage fail but she is a relationship counsellor herself. She is currently in her second marriage which is working out very well due to the fact that she concentrates on the friendship side of things rather than the “marriage side”. She says that her second husband is not in any way better than her first, it’s just that now she pays more attention.She never neglects the friendship side of the relationship – even if it means she has to go to her husband’s workplace so they can eat dinner together. In her last marriage she used to ignore all “domestic chores” such as not cooking at all. Her first husband nurtured her big time, but he got nothing from her. It’s such a shame but in this case, it’s to live and learn.I am sharing this insight with you because you can also learn from her mistakes and maybe not make them yourself.I want you to take away from this that you just need to concentrate on the small things, and remember it’s the friendship component that you need to develop first. Do things together and do things for each other. If your partner isn’t doing something you want, forget about it just do them a favour and they will soon return the favour to you.
The other day, I received an email from a woman who said her husband came home from work and announced that he was “through with being married.” She was quite shocked and upset, and swore that there was no fight or major issues that proceeded or gave any warning that this was on the way. She wasn’t sure how to proceed since she most definitely did not want a divorce or separation. In the following article, I’ll share with you some of the advice that I gave her.Putting His Being “Through With Marriage” Into Perspective: So early in the game, there really wasn’t any indication as to how serious he was going to be about this little declaration. It’s entirely possible that he was just having a dreadful day – which he was projecting onto his marriage or his wife. And, he may well stew a couple of days, calm down, turn chilly, but then eventually come around.Or, things could go the other way. He could be completely serious and was giving her warning that a separation or divorce was on the horizon. Perhaps he had been mulling this over for a while or had given off little clues that had been ignored or missed. Whatever the real scenario turned out to be, I advised her that she should use this as an opportunity to strengthen her marriage and to focus on the bond between them. This is always a good thing, even if the nudge that begins this process is painful.Focus On Strengthening Your Bond Before You Dig Any Deeper As To What’s Wrong: It was actually this wife’s first inclination to get to the bottom of all this “through with marriage” business. Of course she wanted to know exactly what was behind this change of attitude. But, I know from experience and from watching this play out time and time again that focusing on what, exactly, is wrong may not be the best course of action.Often, he is not going to be able to, or even willing to, articulate this anyway. I understand that you suspect that if you can figure out what he’s basing this on, you can show him where his thinking is incorrect or just not accurate. But, it isn’t likely that he’s going to see this as your helping him out or clearing things up. No one likes to hear that they are wrong or not smart enough to see things for what they are (even if there is a shred of truth in this.)You are typically better off working on lessening the tension and changing the perceptions before you begin exploring the whys. These things will likely become evident over time and if they don’t, you’re better off treading very lightly there and waiting until you’re on more stable ground and are more closely bonded. Sure, you can’t put this off forever. At some point, the issues will need to be identified and then addressed. But, now is probably not the best time for that.Changing What Are Sometimes Incorrect Perceptions: Often when a husband one day proclaims he’s “through” it’s because that, for whatever reason, he perceives that the marriage is just no longer providing the pay off that makes it more desirable to stay than to go. Now, that’s not to say that he’s not absolutely wrong in this perception, but arguing or pointing out this fact is not likely to endear him to you. It will probably only make him defensive and, in his mind, he will go through all the arguments that will prove you wrong, which will actually work against you in a big way.Your best bet is to position yourself as the patient, caring person who wants him to be happy and who is committed to helping him achieve this while still taking care of her own needs. To that end, you really have a few choices. You can sort of wait for the dust to settle and display the most upbeat, positive, light hearted, version of yourself. Or, you could offer to give him some space, an ear to listen, or any support that he needs since it’s obvious he’s struggling and having a difficult time right now.How you proceed next is going to depend on how he reacts. But, always remember that what you say and do is contributing to those perceptions which are so important right now. Because, at the end of the day, you need for his perceptions to change. You need for him to come to realize that he’s better off in this marriage than outside of it. Sometimes, this will happen on it’s own as the dust begins to settle and whatever issue he is dealing with will work itself out. And, other times, you’ll need to put your best foot forward and put your patience at the forefront until you are able to show him that he’s totally wrong – that the marriage has a positive pay off for him and that he’s better off staying put.
Are you asking yourself, “How Do I Save My Marriage?” Then I call you my friend. This is because of two reasons: I have been in that exact situation once and I know what you are going through, and the second reason is that I congratulate you in trying the hard thing to do, and not easily saying “okay, it doesn’t work, let’s get divorced”.Marriages are holy things. They are sacred bonds that are meant to bind two people together until eternity. Unfortunately most of the marriages end up in divorces, and it saddens me. If there were more people like you and me, who asked “how do I save my marriage” when they had relationship problems instead of just accepting the divorce, our society would be a lot more united and together.That being said, I wanted to save my marriage and in the end I did it. Not only that, but what I did made my husband love me even more than he ever did, and we are now so happy together. I want the same thing to happen to you.The foremost advice for troubled marriages is that you stop asking the important question of “how do I save my marriage” to yourself, and instead seek its answers from outside sources. Like this article, for example, on the Internet. The desperation and sadness of an ending marriage, unfortunately, makes you do pointless things that can damage your marriage even further (like begging and crying to your spouse). It is the best thing not to think up some methods by yourself but asking for proven methods from outside sources, such as the Internet.
“My husband doesn’t love me!” These are the sayings and feelings that you may have had once or several times in your life, especially if you are married. The simple notion indicating that your husband doesn’t love you anymore can be quite unbearable to comprehend.He must have loved you once before to marry you, so you ask yourself, why doesn’t he love you now? What has changed? Could it be an affair? Have I grown unattractive? Do I smell? So many questions arise for us to really decipher what is really going on in your husbands head. Could it be the work he is doing, the people he has met? What of the children and family. Has he lost interest in that too? Or could he just be tired of it all?Don’t give up or lose hope in this situation. There is a way of better understanding this if all else you have tried has failed miserably. Knowing the proper strategic techniques can prove most beneficial for you in your current situation. The outcome can only lead to a desirable one if you put the “will” and effort into fixing your relationship before something surprises you in any given and unforeseen time. Lets face it, you love your spouse and you want to see this through until you grow old together.Knowing that this strategy is readily available to you can keep your mind at ease and focused on what to do now and how to do it most effectively. Learning how to fix a marriage and have your spouse fall in love with you is quite rewarding. So, reward yourself today.
The workbook is part of a package of products from 2 doctors, husband and wife, who are also experienced relationship counsellors.Their seminal book,”Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts” has sold about 500,000 copies in about 10 years and has helped many couples in their relationships.Through their own professional practice and research they have updated and improved the original work to accommodate the difficult environment faced by couples today.The book and the program is not just aimed at engaged couples but also at people who are newly married, those embarking on their second marriage and even single couples who wish to deepen their relationship.The workbook is one part of the overall program and there is one for men and one for women. It is designed to let you implement what you learn in the program in your relationship with a series of exercises and self-tests.There are 24 exercises in all and each is designed to improve your understanding of how to improve your relationship with a personal “10 commandments”, your spiritual and sexual outlook and other foundation stones for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.The workbooks, and indeed the whole program, are suitable for not only individual couples but small groups and for marriage and relationship counsellors who run their own programs.The estimated time for completion of each exercise is also outlined so that there is no excuse for not fitting it into a sometimes hectic lifestyle.One of the big benefits of the “Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts” program is that it encourages and assists couples to open up to each other before they embark on a lifelong commitment.
Reasons for a marriage to go sour are many. Starting from issues like infidelity, trust, jealousy, ill-temper – the list is endless and as varied as the people themselves. But one issue that is hardly discussed is the issue of ‘unmet needs’ which can play havoc in a marriage and rip it apart. Therefore, if you are serious to save your marriage and have already started the process of analyzing your particular issue give some thought to the concept of having ‘fair expectations’. Things are usually hunky dory during the first few years of marriage, though there could be intermittent clash of views. But over the years, the small fights become big obstacles impacting communication, expressions of love and togetherness. The critical mistake committed by most people is that they ignore such early signals. Chances are very high that the misunderstandings are arising out of frustrations resulting from ‘unmet needs’. Or, to put it more aptly, both of you have very high expectations of each other. To save your marriage, here are some pointers on why and how you can keep fair expectations from each other:Men expect:- Their wives to be super in everything including motherhood, career, home management, financial management, beauty and looks, social skills and more.- Their wives to ‘understand and support’ all that that is happening in their lives.- Their wives to be emotionally empathetic on every issue.Women expect:- Their husbands to be a ‘Mr. Fix-It’. There is no problem on earth that the husband cannot solve, starting from fixing the faucet to buying the most cost-effective home insurance.- Husbands to give them company every time she is feeling lonely or left out. He is supposed to interpret all unsaid words and unexpressed feelings.- Husbands must exactly understand the reasons for her mood swings, anger and frustration.Over and above the three individual instances given above, there are hundreds of expectations which you might be having about your spouse. Once they are not met, your marriage is in jeopardy. To save your marriage, the best option is to keep your expectations as low and fair as possible. If you keep in mind that your spouse is also human with his or her due share of shortcomings and follies, you can easily save your marriage and prevent it from hitting the rocks. No matter how ‘perfect’ your spouse is, there would, at all times, be several unmet needs – either you learn to live with them or to save your marriage, try to change his or her attitudes and contributions in a gentle and unobtrusive way.In stead of nit picking on every issue, if you can understand why he or she is behaving the way they are, you can make the job to save your marriage simpler and easier. Appreciate that there are some inherent traits in every individual which is the result of his or her upbringing, profession, lack of exposure and even his socio-economic status.If you want to move against the current, you might drown before you save your marriage. The most intelligent thing to do in a marriage is to appreciate each other the way they are and not try to ‘change the person’ and then love. It is impossible to change the essential person that your spouse is. In any case, you cannot save your marriage by being impatient and having a series of unmet needs lasting a long time.