A marriage in crisis may or may not have obvious signals that you may or may not pick up on. Too many variables make this a difficult situation to diagnose. On the surface, your marriage may seem stable, albeit a little stale, but that staleness can turn into irreparable damage before you know and squarely put your marriage in crisis.Notice all the signals and nuances of your marriage. While it is not the be-all and end-all of a marriage, the first area of consideration should be how your sex life progresses. A healthy marriage will involve sex that satisfies the both of you. If one or the other partner is not happy with your sex life, this may go unnoticed by the other partner and will eventually lead to an erosion in your communication, which is a sure path to ending up with a marriage in crisis.The sexual interaction of a marriage is a tell-tale point for the health of a relationship. How often you have sex, how personally fulfilled each partner feels, and timing are all important details. Are you having sex at all? These things will tell you whether or not yours is a marriage in crisis.The lives of busy people sometimes precludes spontaneity. This might lead to a need for scheduling sex in the relationship. While this is better than no sex at all, it is far from being as satisfying as the unscheduled, surprise moments when sex is spontaneous.Spontaneous sex cannot exactly be scheduled. Couple that with a hectic family life and no wonder sex becomes the first victim of a marriage in crisis. Children make finding time to have sex even more difficult, and tends to lead to scheduling alone time. As mentioned, it is better than nothing, but “arranging” for spontaneous sex would be a great way to revive yourselves if a marriage in crisis is something you really want to avoid.By arranging spontaneity, we mean making time available, not necessarily for sex, but for some quality alone time. Sex may or may not happen, but the intimacy that does happen is a great tonic for ailing relationships. In a marriage in crisis, spontaneity always takes a back seat to other needs, which leads to unfulfilled partners, unmet needs and dismal unhappiness.Partners who show little signs of affection throughout the day will revive the relationship and prevent the formation of the marriage in crisis. Touching, hugging, a little kiss on the cheek, saying, “I love you” out of the blue-these are spontaneous acts, albeit short ones, that will remind the partner that you are still there and that your marriage is still intact. In this way, the candle of love is not extinguished as it is in a marriage in crisis.These little things are easy enough to do, and may go a long ways towards preventing trouble in the marriage. Being reminded of your partner’s affection towards you (and vice-versa!) is good for the marriage. Good feelings lead to a desire to find more time together, and may help resuscitate a lethargic sex life, as well.Not acknowledging the partner is tantamount to telling them they no longer matter to you and will surely kill the marriage. Just being polite, using “please” and “thank you,” is normal for you to use with other people, why not with your spouse? If you find yourself saying these things to strangers and people outside your relationship, then you have a marriage in crisis. Don’t ever take your partner for granted.By recognizing the red flags of diminished intimacy, sex and time spent alone together, you can easily prevent having a marriage in crisis. What you do about it will determine success in reviving your marriage. Don’t make a big deal of it, just quietly go about the business of adding thoughtful gestures to your days and your partner will pick up on them.Be polite, be thoughtful and considerate and let your partner know you genuinely enjoy being with them, even in a crowd of screaming kids. Find ways to make love that are energizing for you both. If yours is a marriage in crisis, these are the things that will put you both back on the right path to happiness.
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Some people find it necessary to seek out organizations that offer free counseling. The rising cost of living these days is contributing to this dilemma. For those that find it hard to afford paid professional services, they often seek other ways. Many resources are available throughout the internet, which will give advice that can be used in everyday life. Professional Counseling can only be effective if both parties want to save their marriage.Lectures and seminars: Some counselors have made it their goal to save marriages. These counselors often give free lectures throughout communities. Utilize these lectures, and really pay attention to the advice given. These lectures are often just as effective as a paid professional counseling session. When paying for counseling, you are given the ease of convenience. With lectures you will have to spend time out of your day to attend them and listen to this advice. Usually it helps if both of the spouses attend these lectures or seminars. This way you can both listen and learn from the advice given. Take notes on what you feel is important. When you arrive home, do a comparison of the notes taken, and converse on the subject. This will give the couple an opportunity to see that it is better to be as two than as one. These lectures can often be enough to resolve problems in a marriage, as long as both are steadfast in the endeavor. Also, being in this environment gives the couples less of the feeling of being singled out, and having to relay your feelings to a total stranger. This sometimes tends to worsen the situation rather than help it. Private Sessions also tend to make a couple more defensive towards the counselor’s opinions. At times there are even free workshops for couples to attend.Help through the Internet: Sometimes the best help can come right from the internet. Most places like Google and yahoo offer the ability to type questions in the search box and find answers. Many websites are out there to help and aide in the marriage counseling industry. Most lecturers and counselors have their content uploaded for viewing on the internet. These files will further help you to get advice on the correct course for your marriage. A couple can even sign up to have these articles sent to you when they are available. Sometimes one website may not offer a complete guide to your problem, often searching around is the best option. Be sure to try many different combinations of questions in the search boxes, results will vary each time. To achieve results that are effective, often do this type of searching with your spouse. Conversation is the best result when searching this way; it will help both spouses be able to give input on the ideas and thoughts.Often organizations offer flyers that are available at public gatherings, and other social events: The flyers will have some very useful information in them. Be sure to take the flyer and information about the organization.Suggestions from the wise ones in our lives: Sometimes advice is readily available from sources that are there for that purpose. A preacher, Priests, older family members, anyone who is your elder most of the time has some advice that can be useful. They often try express a sincere interest in your relationship’s welfare. This can be the greatest type of counseling of all, because it is free. This is usually the case because these elders or wise ones in your life often know more about you than just your married life, they have usually been around you for longer than your marriage. Often the wise ones know whether or not a change needs to be made in your behavior. Never ask your aging parents or an elder in your family to attend counseling sessions in the hopes to dissect whether your behavior was a manifestation of your childhood years. This is often the worst thing you can ever give your parents.
The honeymoon phase of a marriage unfortunately does not last very long. The toils and tensions of everyday life are bound to impact the relationship in a negative way resulting in women falling out of love with their husbands. However common the scene may be, the situation requires a solution, and a split or a divorce may not always be the right way to go. Not because there are kids, family responsibilities etc. as they are lame excuses to keep a marriage going, but mainly because you still love your husband dearly. All that has happened is that the physical and emotional distance between the two of you has increased and you ‘think’ that you do not love your husband anymore.The first thing which women falling out of love with their husbands need to do is to stop thinking negatively about the husband as well as their marriage. Stop taking that Holier than Thou attitude and blame your husband for all the wrongs that have happened in your life. If you cease to be judgmental about your husband for a change and look at your life with him in a more rational, pragmatic and realistic way, you can actually fall back in love with him again. Keep this in mind: chances are that your husband also has a long list of your inadequacies which could be keeping him away from you mentally and physically. Keep in mind that like your husband, you too could have several qualities which he may not appreciate. That is not making him fall out of love with you.Talking about physical intimacy, women falling out of love with their husbands, ought to seriously think about how sexually active they are with their husbands? Physical intimacy can go a long way in bringing a couple closer mentally too. Stop blaming the kids, lack of time, tiredness and general lack of interest resulting in your moving away from your husband. Women falling out of love with their husbands, think, when was the last time you took the initiative to invite him for sex? If he had declined, did you probe further as to the reasons for such denial? Bet you did not go that far. Please realize that physical intimacy is a critical factor to keep the fire simmering in a marriage. So, women falling out of love with their husbands should genuinely try to involve their husbands into physical closeness, if you want the marriage to survive and prevent your husband from falling out of love with you.There is yet another important thing which women falling out of love with their husbands should do to save the marriage as well as fall in love with their husbands all over again. Concentrate on the good points rather than the ones which irritate you or put you off. Before you make him accountable for all the miseries in your life or perpetually highlight the areas where he is weak, you need to sieve out the good points about your husband. There ought to be several factors which had made him loveable at one time. They are intrinsic qualities and cannot vanish – except that you have ceased to notice them anymore.For making a successful U-turn from your current loveless feeling about your husband, it is better that you refocus your attention to those parts of his personality which make him adorable and irresistible. Remember all of us have our own idiosyncrasies which may or may not be liked by others – your husband is no different. If you want to save your marriage and raise a happy and content family, women falling out of love with their husbands, should consciously try to pay heed to this suggestion.
Your marriage is hurting, and you want to learn what you can do to resolve the problems. There are many different reasons for marital problems, and there are many different ways to fix those problems.The very first step in repairing your marriage is to learn to recognize the problem(s). It could be financial, emotional, etc. You have to figure out what the problem or problems are before you can try to fix anything.Talk to your spouse. Find out their side of the story. Ask them how they think it should be fixed. Tell them your side, and how you think things could be better. By asking their side, you are really doing two things -#1: You are telling your spouse that you value their opinions. You are telling them that you do love them, and that you want to make your marriage work.#2: You are letting yourself see another point of view. Sometimes, when we see things at a different angle, we are better able to come up with more solutions to the problems.Working together is the best way to solve your problems. That’s what marriage is about – two people brought together to live as one. By learning to work as a team, you will find that even the most difficult problems can be handled with no thoughts of divorce at all.Also, by learning to work together, you will develop a bond between the two of you that will become so strong that you will be able to handle anything. Together.
Do you want to get married or marry? Many of the youth find it challenging to identify the best choice for marriage from several millions of people they meet. This article provides 5 basic aspects to consider if one is going to choose the best person to stay with and love in a marriage relationship. These include: sincere love, age difference, background, education and culture.LoveLove is the foundation of marriage which cements any relationship. Always look for someone whom you love and who loves you. He who loves you will also care for you and stay with you despite all odds. Love should be sincere and unconditional if your marriage is to last for life. The one who loves you will love your friends and family members hence expansion of your family. Avoid a hypocrite.Age differenceIt is important to look at the aspect of age difference before you get married/marry. Although some people do not take it serious, it has affected some marriages. It is recommended that the man be older than the woman by three to five years. This minimizes the generation gap and enhances planning/reasoning together as a couple for the development of your family. If the woman is too young she develops inferiority complex and if the man is younger than the woman, the latter grows faster and leaves the man unattended to. The wife loses interest in sex tempting the man to go out for other women.BackgroundLook for the person whose background is less similar to yours. If you have diverse backgrounds, say one is from a very rich background and the other from poor background, the two may not merge properly. This can result in different priorities in spending your finances hence conflict in a family. Usually the one from a better background tends to despise the other, who at the same time may feel inferior and live unhappily in such a marriage.EducationLook for someone whose education level is not very far from yours. If the man is highly learned and the woman did not go to school, the woman feels inferior and many times fears to go with the man on important functions such as weddings. This is because she will not feel comfortable to associate with the man’s friends and the language can become another barrier. It is worse if the woman is the one who is highly learned and the man is not. The woman can overlook her husband and some even take over the roles of the heads of such families.CultureHow do you feel if your spouse fails to communicate with the members of your family?What about when you find that you cannot enjoy the same meal? Although some people disregard cultural differences, the extremes may result into conflicts in the marriage relationship. If the cultures are to be different, then let them be close to one another and be able to communicate from either side and enjoy the social life of the two families.There are no clear-cut guidelines or formula to follow when starting a stable marriage. Love, age, education, culture and background are some of the aspects to look at before you enter a life time commitment in a marriage relationship.
I am 40 years old, my husband is only 30. I had my college education, he was able to hurdle only his second year in high school. I grew up in the country while he spent most of his life in the city. I had a normal youth. He, on the other hand, was engaged in brawls, hard drinking, drugs, petty crimes.There is an ocean of difference between my husband and I, both in attitude and perspective in life. That is why I thought hard before finally (after two rejected proposals ) agreeing to marry him — I was 32 then and working as an employee in a private organization. At that time, he was already working for another Non-Government organization as a messenger.I cannot fully articulate the reasons for my decision to marry someone like him. I have had my share of boyfriends who were in “my level” but I chose to be with him. Must have been “love”. But, I did not take the plunge blind. Like I said, I gave it a good thought first. My reference questions were 1) Will I be happy with this man?; 2) Will he be a good husband and father to my kids?; 3) Will he not desert me in times of troubles?; 4) Will the life he had in his youth not recur during our married life together?; 5) Will the gap in our age, and level of maturity, be an issue soon? Of course, I did not have direct answers to these questions. But I had inklings. My husband, before our marriage, was already a sweet and loving person, although not publicly expressive. He was generous to other people, and industrious. He did not flirt. And, most of all, he treated me special but equal. He was not affected by our statures in life.Pros and Cons. The Pros had it. We got married in 2002, had our first baby ten months after the wedding, and now, we are well into our 8th year together as husband and wife. Two more kids were added into the family. It was not a totally blissful eight years, though. The worst problem I had with my husband is the gap in our communication process. Second was his drinking habit. Third was his inability to find a better means of earning money to help provide for the family. We are still trying to make ends meet in our household. The leak on our roof is yet to be repaired.We have problems. But nothing that we think we cannot solve. The important factors that made our relationship work was respect and understanding. I know my husband’s handicaps in terms of skills and intellect. He knows my pet peeves. He knows I nag. So, I expect nothing more than what my husband can offer to the family. He either keeps silent when I am moody or make efforts to cool my temper. However, when each of our boiling point is reached (which happened a few times), we still had the consciousness to not make matters worse by just ceasing to talk/make contact for a while. “For a while” means a few hours to us. It never happened in our married life that our fights remain unresolved for days.I may have the upper hand in this relationship because of my age, acquired knowledge and life experience. But I did not think that my husband is inferior. He has his own special qualities that I value and am being grateful of. He takes care of our children well as I am a full time office worker. Before he attends to his business of selling homemade condiments, he first sees to it that the meals had been prepared; the children have had their baths; the pets have been fed.I believe that to make a husband and wife relationship work, no matter the age or social status, both parties must always remember the reason/s why they married each other. Aside from love, they must understand that the person they married is not perfect. Each should expect that the other half may have other personalities aside from the one he/she showed before the wedding. And when these personalities manifest after, the first thing to do is seeking first to understand and accepting the flaws.Of course, this is only my experience. I know there are many variations to my story and, maybe, the gravity of their problems are more serious than mine. Nonetheless, understanding and respect are universal solutions that everyone should try.
If you are looking for a way for saving a marriage, this means you think your marriage is ending, but you don’t want it to end. Yes, I am stating the obvious, but the point that leads from there is: You have put much effort and self sacrifice into this marriage, and now that you see it ending, you are desperate to find a quick fix that will save your marriage.I am sure this sounds familiar to you, as I have been in this exact situation and felt that desperation. Yes, I have saved my marriage but it wasn’t an overnight quick and magical fix that repaired my marriage. I took steps, and each step brought my spouse closer to me – until him returning to me completely and we being in this great marriage that we are in now!There are steps in saving a marriage. There isn’t a single action that will fix everything – rather, there is a series of actions; that will make your mindset ready for saving your marriage, and that will make you do the actions to save it.The first step is getting rid of the desperation and the panic. Not only because of the damages it does to you: your desperation does the greatest damage to your marriage. A spouse desperate to save his or her marriage will inevitably feel the need to beg the other spouse for forgiveness. This is exactly what you should avoid! It ruins your credibility, it makes you look pathetic and undesirable. That is why the first step to saving a marriage is reaching that calm state of mind; where you can really consider the root problem in your marriage, define it, and devise of ways to fix it.Remember – the first step is to get rid of the panic. From there, you will see everything much clearly. I can’t stress how much has changed in my marriage for the better once I got rid of my desperation.
Just about every day there is a couple walking down the aisle and getting married. With Marriage problems ending more than a half of marriages, how long will their marriage last? It all depends on how they deal with the problems in marriage, or better yet how they avoid them.Here are 4 tips for problems in marriage that will help you to not only solve marriage problems, but also avoid them.1. Respect Your SpouseIt is impossible to have love without respect, and when there is no respect it leads to a list long of marriage problems. When you show no respect for your spouse, they will begin to show less respect for you, and this will begin a battle between two people that should be in love. Show respect by not undermining your spouse in front of the kids, or criticizing them in front of other people.2. Do The Things They Want To DoWhen you tie the knot it is no longer just about you and what you want to do. You must prioritize your relationship and try some new things you normally wouldn’t if you weren’t in your marriage.Instead of saying things like “no I don’t want to do that”, just do it. You will be surprised at how few problems you will have in your marriage if you participate with your spouse in things they enjoy doing.3. Limit Friendships With The Opposite SexIt’s a big mistake when a married couple allows each other friendships with the opposite sex. The potential for romance is always there, and the thin line between just friends and something more is too easy to cross.Limiting friendships with the opposite sex will decrease jealousy, suspicion, and more problems in marriage. This is something more married couples should take the time and discuss seriously.4. Decrease Stress And Build Up ToleranceIt is important for both people in a marriage to build up a high tolerance level. Doing so will allow you to deal with troubled situations in your marriage better. However, you cannot build a high tolerance level if you are stressed out most of the time.Avoid stressful activities as much as you can, and you will find that your marriage experiences fewer arguments. Also, it will be rare when you two get on in each other’s nerves.