I think that anybody who’s marriage is in trouble would like to see things worked out. There are so many problems, both financial and emotional, that come with divorce that surely isn’t a good first choice.Unfortunately, lots of strength, emotional and physical, is needed to fix things up. This is especially true if your husband suffers from depression. The emotional and physical stress is so great that a lot of women just give up and look to get out of it.In this article I offer three pieces of advice for women who’s marriage is in trouble because of the husband’s depression. Read it and implement the ideas so you’ll be able to lead a much happier life.1. Do what you have done before. The best advice that I, or ANYONE else, can give someone who’s marriage is in trouble is to remember what you have done in the past. Your husband’s depression probably isn’t something new. The severity might be new but probably he had bouts of “sadness” even before you concluded that your marriage is in trouble. And if you are still married then the depression did weaken.Don’t waste your time and energy to “reinvent the wheel”. Firstly it is not worth the effort. Secondly, if it worked once, it will probably work again. Even if the situation has changed since the last time, you can use what you used in the past as a base and “tweak” it to make it appropriate for the present situation.2. Take care of yourself. When your husband is depressed it surely takes a heavy toll on you. He might not help with the kids, can’t hold a job down (so you have to support the family), offer you NO support, and constantly blame you for his situation and put you down.You need all the strength that you can muster in order not to fall apart. Go to the gym. Go out to eat or go out to the movies with friends. Lock yourself in a room and read a book.THIS IS NOT BEING SELFISH. I repeat, “THIS IS NOT BEING SELFISH.” If your marriage is in trouble, it will take strength to save it. If you fall apart, then your children will suffer and well as your husband. Therefore take care of yourself.3. Convince him to get help. This DOES NOT mean to just “drop the bomb” and bluntly tell him, “Dear, I think that you need help.” This surely won’t help! (as I’m sure you know.)A simple, and very effective, formula to use is (1) only mention facts (no labels) (2) make clear what you are not hinting to, and (3) then to say what you want to say (as gently as you can say it, but enough to get your point across).Meaning: You don’t call him lazy, inconsiderate, or self centered. You only say what you saw. For instance, “I see that you haven’t gotten up before 12:30 for the past month.”After that you say something to the effect of, “I’m not saying that you are lazy or that you don’t care about the family.”Only after that can you say, “Therefore what do think can help you here?” If he says, “Nothing, it will work itself out. Just give it time and don’t rush me”, then you can suggest that you don’t agree and that and suggest that he sees someone (or to do something else to overcome his depression).Dealing with a depressed husband isn’t easy. However, it also doesn’t mean that you have to run to divorce that might be “jumping from the frying pan into the fire”.Begin with these 3 ideas and stay strong until you once again begin to have a happy marriage.
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Getting married is one thing. Living a happy marital life is totally different. Maintaining a marital relationship requires hard work. You do not have to go out of your way in keeping each other happy, but the least you can do is be nice and loving to one another.Emotional outbursts are normal in marriages, but you should learn to control your anger and not overreact. Expecting another person, even though she is your wife, to put up with your mood swings is unfair. Here are some tips that can help you keep your marriage safe and healthy.Everyone gets stressed out at work. However, try to leave your work at office and return home as normal as you can. Most people carry stress back from work and then dump it on their better halves. Breathe in and out deeply or try some relaxation techniques while you are on your way home.Try to notice the little things that your wife does for you. It may be what she is cooking or how she maintains your wardrobe. Show that you are thankful for those things in your own way. Once in a while compliment her looks.Try to talk less and listen more to women. It is the key to keeping healthy communication. Women tend to talk a lot more than men. So, you should listen to them patiently.Do the dishes occasionally. For instance, on weekends. Or cook breakfast once in a way and surprise your wife. This will show her that you care for and appreciate her.Throw surprises by taking her for dinner or a movie. Just try to be impulsive at times.
It is a known fact that couples in a marriage will face a marriage ending problem sometime during the marriage. All couples get into an argument here and there. We are all human after all and we all make mistakes. The great thing about mistakes and problems is that they can be fixed. There is no reason to allow a divorce to progress when you can save your marriage and avoid a divorce.Here are a few tips that can help you begin to save your marriage.1. Control your emotions. Allowing yourself to become emotional and loss control of yourself will hurt this process more than you will ever know. A child throwing a temper tantrum should never get its way, why should you if you are acting like a child? Be mature about the healing process, even when your spouse is not.2. Show your spouse that you want to listen to their concerns. This is a time when your spouse is looking for something solid and dependable. This is an opportunity to show them that you can be that person. Your goal is not to smother you spouse, but remind them that you are there for them.3. Understand that you are both victims in this bad situation. You both are in a state of pain while the divorce is allowed to progress. Even victims need some help. Work with your spouse to help them understand that, and try to get both of you in a support group or couples counseling.The road to saving your marriage is a long and sometime painful road. But the rewards that await you will be beneficial to both of you if you are committed to your spouse and marriage.
How to help a husband who is recently unemployed, is really a debatable subject especially amidst the recent economic slow down.We can see many people around us without suitable jobs just because of the current financial crisis. Marriage is generally termed as wedlock, but it should be a perfect lock where the concerned individuals are attached intimately. A united family is the base of a cohesive society and only a solid society can give security to the mass population. Here comes the importance of a happy family. Husband should support wife and wife should support the husband. In a way, it is a mutual contract. That is the only way to enjoy peace and love in one’s life after marriage. A man without a proper job will be undergoing serious mental pressures and the intensity increases if he is a married one. We can see the relevance of a supportive wife who knows how to help a husband who is recently unemployed here.Man and woman will become husband and wife after marriage and with this transformation society demands a certain amount of tolerance from both the parties. In married life mutual consideration and help are the key factors for concreting the love and affection between husband and wife. When a man loses his job he is losing part of his confidence. His wife must really think about the subject of how she can help and must act accordingly. She must be able to impart confidence to him and this will certainly do wonders. Money is not everything, but money is something. This factor is the base structure of our society and should be considered in a precise manner if one has to have a peaceful life. Just thinking over the subject of how to help is not enough. She must discuss the matter with the husband and both should calmly find out some ways for crossing the difficult period most convenient and easy manner. A good wife should be able to adjust to the situation and tackle it in the most convenient way.The first and foremost answer of how you can help your husband is that you should understand and evaluate the position in a positive way rather than going panicky and allowing your mind to go astray. The first step is to support your husband mentally which will boost up his morale. If one looses his confidence and self esteem he is a gone case. You must not allow this happen to your husband and so support him. Then you have to restrict the house expenses by curtailing the luxuries which you were used to. Use your commonsense and decide what the necessity ones are and which are the luxury items. The next immediate step is to find out a way for a supplement income.You are losing monthly earnings and so immediately you need some kind of a substitute income. Search and find out something without delay. There will be lots of opportunities around and if you search wisely you can certainly find out something which suits you and your need. These are the immediate steps which you should follow if you want to show you take your husband seriously.
The other day, I received an email from a wife who was asking for my advice on saving her troubled marriage. She said that she and her husband had lost their intimacy and closeness, seemingly had nothing in common any more, and were seemingly just coexisting in the same household without anything ever changing or improving. She was beginning to think the whole thing was a “lost cause.”I honestly rarely feel that saving marriages is a lost cause. If something brought you together in the first place, it’s highly likely that those things are still there, although they have likely been buried. This often requires for you to think about things in a different way or to try something new, but nothing is impossible and the rewards can undoubtedly be worth it.Don’t Put Too Much Pressure On The Situation With Your Definitions And Perceptions: The phrase “troubled marriage” defines your own expectations on so many levels. Sure, every one has issues in their marriage. We all hit rough patches, but looking at your marriage as if it’s something undesirable, broken, or “troubled” almost sets you up to fail before you even begin.Instead, try to approach this as an opportunity to fix what is broken. You have to opportunity to redefine your marriage and to be happy again. Don’t just accept things as they are today. You have the ability and the control to face this head on and fix it. However, most people go about this in the same way that they go about labeling their marriage. In the same way that you’re willing to call it “troubled,” most people approach saving their marriage as drudgery or hard work. They sit their partners down, take a deep breath, and confess that they need to “work” on the marriage. How appealing does this really sound? How excited are most people likely to be about this?Instead, it’s better to create a low pressure situation that you can both become excited about. You’ll probably have better results if you tell your spouse that you’d like to have more fun together as you notice that you could both be happier. The pay off should be positive so that you will actually want to do it.See, many couples will place the cart before the horse, so to speak. While the marriage is already on shaky ground, it just doesn’t make sense to challenge what is already struggling by requiring both parties to “work,” have difficult discussions, or change their ways of doing things with the threat of divorce lurking over their shoulder.Restore The Closeness And Fun First And Then Tackle The Issues That Make The Marriage “Troubled”: As I said, your first goal should be to restore some fun, intimacy and closeness between you. The results then will come so much easier if you aren’t resistant to spending time with and communicating with this person.Think about this. When you were happy and in love, how difficult were “issues” or “troubles” when they came up? I’d be willing to bet that they were dealt with and abandoned quickly because you were seeing this person and this relationship through the veil of positive feelings. You didn’t want anything to interfere with the positive way that you were feeling at that time.Ask yourself if you’re doing just the opposite today. Are you seeing the relationship through the veil of nothing working and nothing going right? So many of us do this. I don’t ask the question to lay blame. I ask the question because for most of us, the answer is yes and this way of seeing things greatly affects how we act in our marriage and our perceptions and expectations for it.So, do whatever you need to do to change these negative perceptions and expectations into positive ones. Try to interact in a very low pressure way where both of you get to experience things that you would enjoy and would want to continue to build upon.Many people tell me that they no longer have these shared interests anymore. But, thinking this way is just another way of placing pressure onto yourself and your relationship. These shared experiences do not have to be perfect. You’re only trying to see your spouse in a different, more positive way so that when you do come to the table to work out your differences, you’re able to feel some empathy and affection so that the process becomes much easier.A Shifting Of Priorities And Time: I’m going to again ask you to think back to when you were dating. How much time did you put into your relationship then? How does that compare to now? The reason I ask is that so many of us are putting maybe 1/10th (or even less) of the time and effort into our spouses (and our own) happiness and yet we expect to feel 100% of the loving feelings. We expect the relationship to be just as strong even though we don’t put in the time that would make this so. This is an equation that will just never add up, no matter how hard we try.To save a troubled marriage, you have to open your heart, your mind, and your expectations. You have to create low pressure experiences that won’t feel like “work” and you must place the highest priority on restoring the closeness and the connection. I firmly believe if you do these things, all of the larger issues will be much easier to tackle.
A man without character is like a sleeping wild dog, it will soon wake up to bark and to bite, avoid him. Let your eyes be opened widely when it comes to evaluating your spouse’s character and behaviors in terms of temperaments. This is majorly an issue that needs to be emphasized upon before making a final decision like marriage. Most men are really temperamental in nature because they tend to show their ego in all they do, but some actually; show it more the other. so a lady has to take caution when it comes to taking a final decision on marriage issues the following points should go a long way in helping you taking and know what best describe a man’s character.Checking the temperament: most men are temperamental in nature because of their ego, so they tend to be or want to be in control of all that happens in their relationship with a woman. They want their words to be final without listening to any other persons opinion, which could lead into argument, fighting and eventually break up in the relationship. So it is better for the woman to help the man in the area of his temperament, so that it doesn’t get out of hand. For the sake of love, most men tend to change the way they react to things that easily provoke them, because they will not want to loss the woman that has really helped them in changing the way they do things generally. Such women are respected.A person that is lazy, stingy, bossy, lustful, extravagant and stubborn, anybody with uncontrollable anger that keeps malice is always moody, tells lies, smoke, drinks, womanizes, keeps bad company, takes drugs, night crawls etc, is not a good character a man should have. Never expect a stingy bachelor to become a generous husband or a stubborn spinster to become an obedient, meek and submissive wife. It is not possible for a drunk to stop drinking when he or she gets married if drastic measures are not taken to control his or her character.Marriage don’t naturally change people, we need to be wise, don’t hail a guy that personally beat up a guy that abused you in a store in your defense. It will be your turn to “enjoy” his boxing feat when you get married. A man that disobeys his parents is not likely to listen to you. A man that wants you to prove your love for him by having sex is a sex hunter, not a love. A man that discourages you from making a move that will help you is not a real man for you. Let your eyes be opened
I assume that, since you are reading this article, you have a troubled marriage and you want to save your marriage. I was in the exact same situation as you, and I know how bad it feels to be in an ending marriage.But I did my best – and saved my marriage. Now my husband loves me even more than he did when we were first married. I can’t explain how overjoyed I am! Could you, if you were able to save yours? The joy is extreme, it’s maybe the best feeling I have ever had.Since I know how horrible you must be feeling now, I feel for you, and I want to call you my friend. I want to help you save your marriage. So let me tell you what changed the fate of my marriage, which I thought was surely ending, and was desperate to repair.I stopped trying to talk to my husband to find a compromise. Why? Well, it is simple. Since my husband wanted to divorce, but I wanted to save my marriage; ”talking” to him essentially meant begging him not to end our marriage. And I did that all the time – before I read an online guide about saving a marriage and saw the right way.You see, when your marriage is ending you can hardly come up with effective ways to stop your divorce. To do that, you need a good understanding of human psychology and ways to put that knowledge into good use. But when you have an ending marriage you can’t do that – because you can’t think! If you want to save your marriage, the best advice I can give you is to stop trying to think of methods by yourself!
Marriage is an exceptionally incredible institution. When my daughter was seven years old, she could tell me about her boyfriend – Joseph – who happened to be her classmate. She believes Joseph will be her husband despite the fact that he is not clear in his mind about her seriousness of their friendship. That is how incredible marriage is. Both the under aged and the aged, the rich and the poor, the weak and the strong are all giving marriage a very serious thought.The astonishing high rate of divorce is not, will not and should not be a hindrance to any individual from considering and indeed jumping into it, of course at the appropriate time. Marriage is such an awesome idea that not many consider the many and great responsibilities associated with it before getting into it. Many married couples can not remember when they sat down to plan on how to tackle the challenges they face in their marriages today but the amazing fact is that they are able to maneuver through them all.This means that in a marriage of serious, positive and committed couple, there exists some divine power which when activated, releases sufficient energy, grace and wisdom to face and manage any sort of a crisis or conflict arising.This being the case, then there is no cause of fear of getting into marriage. Friends, just be sincere. Whether you are single, married, separated, divorced or even windowed, there exists a desire in every sound human being to be in a long lasting and fulfilling companionship. To some, this longing is on the surface and to others, it is hidden deep. To some, it is a top priority while to others; it is just an issue to consider. Whichever way, marriage is wonderful. Go for it, stay in it – whatever applies to you.
It’s said that one of the worst feelings someone can go through is to see their marriage crumbling – see it circling down the drain. It’s impossible not to remember all those good days – the ceremony, the honeymoon… I feel for you.I know that feeling so well because I have been in your shoes. My marriage was ending and there seemed to be nothing I could do to stop a divorce. It was all so hopeless.But I am still with my husband today and not only I have stopped the divorce; our marriage is much better than it has ever been now! And I see all the mistakes I made while trying to save my marriage. I now firmly believe that EVERY marriage can be saved. How?What you should never forget is that people tend to want what they couldn’t have easily. This is a psychological fact. This means that you have to stop ALL apologizing, ALL begging and relevant actions immediately: They mark you as “easier to have”.To make yourself much more attractive to your spouse, you have to reverse this situation. You have to be hard to reach, you have to be hard to get. When you are able to do this, your spouse will be much, much more attracted towards you.So if you are pressing upon your partner and begging for forgiveness, you should stop that immediately! When you reverse the situation, you will be able to save your marriage like I did!
Soon after you get married, some changes may begin to take place so slowly that you may not even notice them at first. You may think things are still okay until it reaches a point where your husband does not seem to love you any more. Or it may come as a bolt out of the blue when he personally tells you that he no longer loves you. This is something that can leave you quite devastated.We live in a world where divorce is almost second nature, and many couples opt for it when they reach such a point. The fact that divorce is popular, however, does not mean that it is the best solution in many cases. You can instead find ways of making your husband fall in love with you once more.Give him some timeIf you are like many women, you will feel a great urge to approach your husband with the issue when you notice that something is wrong between you. It is a woman’s natural instinct to try to solve any problems as quickly as she can. However, you should understand that men are different, and your husband is one of them.When you do not let your husband have some space, you may just irritate him further. You should respect your husband’s need for some space. Don’t make things worse by nagging him, although you may not view yourself as doing so.Even before you sit down to solve any problems you may have, your husband will realize that you value him, which will prepare ground for reconciliation.Take a look backIf you want your husband to fall in love with you again, you should take a look back. Try to find out where and when things started shifting between you. This will help you to nail the root cause of the problem that led your husband to fall out of love. Once you are aware of the thing that caused the problem, you can start working for an amicable solution from that point.Be ready to make some compromisesEach of you will need to avoid taking too strong a stance. Begin by making some necessary compromises so that you can solve any differences you may have.Avoid negativityThere is hardly anyone who enjoys the company of someone who thinks negatively most of the time. Develop a more positive attitude if you really want your husband to love you again.You should take appropriate measures to restore the love between you before things go too far. However, even if it has reached a point where your husband begins to consider separation and divorce, the situation is still not beyond repair.